Wicked Delights of a Bridal Bed: A Crazy Avon Giveaway

Book CoverTo celebrate the release of Wicked Delights of a Bridal Bed by Tracy Anne Warren, Avon has come up with an absolutely honking enormo-gigundous awesome contest. Tell us your favorite wedding night story – touching, funny, silly, sexy, bizarre, whatever – in the comments, whether it’s your story or the story of someone you know, and we’ll pick one winner.

What does that winner receive?

A bed.

No, really. A Bed. The winner will receive a $2000.00 US gift certificate to Tempurpedic, for use in buying your own squishy-comfy bed. Wicked delights are optional, but I trust you can work that out on your own.

I will say, I own a memory foam bed of a different brand. I call it “the Huggy Bed.” It’s so freaking comfortable, and I love love love it.

Second prize is a complete set of the Byrons of Braebourne series, thus far: Tempted By His Kiss, Seduced By His Touch, At the Duke’s Pleasure, and Wicked Delights of a Bridal Bed.

The nitty-gritty beddy-details:

– Contest is open to US residents only (I’m sorry, all you awesome people outside the border).

– The comments will close Thursday 2 September at 11:00 pm EDT.

– Winner will be chosen by random drawing using random.org.

– Winner will be announced on Friday 3 September 2010.

– Disclaimer: The prize may be subject to federal and/or state income tax for the winner. Neither I, nor Smart Bitches Trashy Book LLC, make any representation with respect to the tax status of the prize. Participants are encouraged to consult with their accountants or other tax advisors.

– More Disclaimer: I’m not being compensated for this giveaway. (Really, are you kidding? You think if I had a shot at two grand for a memory foam mattress I wouldn’t hit the edge of the internet and keep running with my ill gotten, foamy gains? Bitch, please.) Your mileage may vary. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Avoid publicists armed with minigolf clubs. Do not get in eyes or mouth. For bedroom use only.

Comments are Closed

  1. Vicki says:

    We picked our wedding date based on when we had time off (dates chosen before we even met) and it was also the first day of spring break for my step-son. Guess who came on the honeymoon to Tahoe with us! We had rented a cabin with a group of people and that was our week there. The outgoing couple left us a bottle of champagne and a food basket. The next morning, we all woke up with the flu, spent the next two days fighting about whose turn it was to get out of bed and take care of our boy/food, etc. If it wasn’t for that food basket, we would have starved. Thanks, previous couple.

    captcha but43 – but it has lasted, well, not 43 years yet, but we are closing in on that.

  2. Joy says:

    Before our marriage, I had read in some well-meaning marriage manual (probably from our church) that if a couple was exhausted from the wedding festivities, it was OK to postpone the consummation until the next night or morning or whenever you were properly rested.  My wedding day was busy, involving entertainment of out of town guests, alcohol consumption, and a lot of traveling across the metro area multiple times.  I had also acquired some kind of intestinal bug the day before and was holding it at bay with large doses of Imodium.  By the time we got to our home (our secret wedding night location; we left the following morning on the actual honeymoon), I was nervous and tired so I earnestly told my new husband that if he wanted to wait until tomorrow when we were well-rested that would be just fine by me.

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clear “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SH*TTING ME” look before in my life.  We consummated our marriage that night.  Lesson learned, do not take these marriage guide books from church too seriously…the same is true for parenting books IME.

    We totally need a new mattress.  We have been married for 15 years and so has our mattress.

  3. Kate Jones says:

    I’m not married, but I have a story about my parents!

    My mom and (step)dad got hitched when I was five, so they never really had “alone” time.

    Yay honeymoon, right?  Except that on day three my dad’s ENTIRE family crashed the party (bringing me along, too).  As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mom had developed shin splints from hiking and was having a hard time walking.

    You can imagine the fun everyone had with that.

  4. Maggie P. says:

    My wedding night story is about my great grandparents. Apparently grandpa in his infinite wisdom thought it would be fun to go camping on his wedding night, camping with his aunt and uncle.
    As you may have guessed, my grandpa was not the most romantic man, he was a mathematician and things tended to be practical rather than romantic or fun. As my grandma told it she was using the outhouse before going to the tent to “settle in” for the night when she heard Uncle Gene whistling in the mens half of the outhouse. The his/her outhouse shared a common hole so when Uncle Gene lit a match and dumped it in the hole to dispel the stench all of the flys came out the other side where she was sitting, and grandma came out of the outhouse with her skirts still tucked up.
    I do believe having 50,000,000 flys head for her cooch killed the mood for grandma because that was the end of the camping trip and probably the last “romantic gesture” my grandfather made. Thankfully Grandma had a sense of humor, this story was told at every major family event to much laughter.

  5. Lindlee says:

    Well, I don’t really have my own wedding night story (being single and all). The best wedding night story I know is this couple gets married, but the woman doesn’t want to have sex. Instead she goes into the bathroom to eat a frog! Turns out she’s a frog clone who looks exactly like the guy’s lady love (the guy doesn’t find out until days later). Eventually the frog clone falls in love with the guy and dies saving his life. The lady love comes back and (third time’s the charm) the two finally marry.

    So did anyone else watch Lois & Clark and love this Superman television show as much as I did?

  6. I got married in a revamped Long Island speakeasy that my dad used to hang out at during Prohibition (he got a good deal for the reception from the owners because he had been a VERY good customer). He left my matron of honor and me in the car (in January) to run in for a minute and see how things were progressing inside, whether the groom had shown up, etc. After an eternity of shivering, she and I decided to get out and found my dad drinking at the bar. The day only got better from there. One of my husband’s fraternity brothers started to cry during the ceremony and the rest of them started laughing hysterically. There was quite a ruckus behind us but we soldiered on, repeating the vows the judge mumbled. My husband’s very Catholic mother kept saying she could not believe her only son was marrying a divorced woman to everyone within earshot, but that at least I wasn’t pregnant. My matron of honor “inadvertantly” put money in the jukebox to play Wedding Bell Blues, which featured the name of my ex-husband (I had been a very brief teen bride, with a much nicer but fundementally flawed first ceremony—-my ex-husband had had an affair with one of the officiating priests before he dropped out of seminary. Oy.This is why I write romance.). We got the hell out of there as quickly as possible and drove to a no-tell motel off the Connecticut Turnpike with a Magic Fingers bed, which we promptly put quarters into and giggled over the decidedly unmagic effect. I think we had sex but I honestly can’t remember. But the next morning the diner waitress came to our table singing “Mrs. Robinson”—-and my husband did not put her up to it—-so I knew it was all meant to be.

  7. Regan Bruck says:

    Wow, after reading all these stories, I feel so …lucky.  I actually ended up having the wedding of my dreams: walking down in red to a minister who actually did a Princess Bride impersonation (you know the one) and dancing until midnight with my twin running interference on everything so I could relax. 

    At the end of the evening, our hotel room had been delightfully decorated by some friends Hawaiian style (our honeymoon was going to be there) with candies strewn across the bed.  We were tired, I remember, but not THAT tired.  We had a great night!

  8. Karen says:

    Our wedding night was so much fun! For months beforehand, folks had been bugging us about “the afterparty,” to my complete befuddlement. (I just threw a huge party, I hafta throw an afterparty too?) So we looked into it and found a place to recommend people go if they wanted to keep the party going. When people arrived in town and learned of the plan, they objected. “It has karaoke, I hate karaoke.” “It’s too far away, I don’t wanna drive, I don’t have the number of a cab company.” And all I can think is, Why are we bothering the bride about this? Cabs were arranged and my cousins and our friends started to pester me and my DH about whether or not we were going (some would only go if we would). We didn’t really want to but didn’t want to be rude and just told everyone we were going back to the hotel first and would decide then.

    When we got back to the room, my sister/MOH, (who had checked me and DH into our room for us since we were busy getting ready earlier), had decorated the room with confetti, tealights, and fake rose petals (HIGHLY recommended, real petals are messy and get dried and itchy and crumble). It was a complete surprise, which is impressive, as I am highly observant and difficult to surprise. We knew then we weren’t going anywhere.

    After the consummatin’ we took advantage of the in-room hot tub, which we only had for one night before moving on to our honeymoon, sharing stories from the wedding, pulling bobby pins out of my hair, and regaining our strength with cookies and champagne (and sparkling juice for my non-drinking hubby) left by my sister. Our only mishap came when, while preparing the tub, we went to light the candles with the matches thoughtfully left on the nightstand. But the room was so humid that the matches were too soggy and wouldn’t light! My clever new hubby had the genius idea to dry them out with the in-room hairdryer and problem solved!

  9. Jolene Allcock says:

    My husband and I got married one month after our first child turned 1.  I was 20 and he was 22 and we did all the wedding planning and paying for it on our own.  I guess we neglected one small detail!!!!  Who is going to watch our child on our wedding night????  MY husbands parents took over for the reception and planned it at a bar, obviously forgetting I was two months shy of my 21st.  OOPS, not only did the waitress keep taking my drinks from me that my family was ordering she also threatened to kick me out if she saw another one in my hand.  So, me being totally sober and only having one glass of champagne from our toasts, everyone else around me was smashed off their butt’s, including my mom, my sis, and my husbands whole family.  When it came time to leave and enjoy our wedding night, as we were walking to the hotel where we all had a block of rooms.  OOPS, who is going to take our one year old.  As I look around at everyone I realize, no way is anyone capable of walking a straight line, talking without slurring, and oh there is my sis puking in the bushes, but also no one is capable of putting my little man to bed or probably even remembering his name at that point.  So as my new husband and I settle in to our comfy bed on our wedding night, but two little eyes are peeking at us from the playpen at the foot of the bed.  My last thought before falling asleeep was “You’ve got to be kidding me!!!”  Woke up bright and early to cries of my one year old.  6 am and ready to eat, no sleeping in for the new married couple!!!  Our wonderful hot and heavy wedding night was spent in the morning the day after the wedding in the bathroom hiding from our one year old!!  Priceless 🙂

  10. Anne Holly says:

    We spent our wedding night in a cheapie hotel in fantabulous rural Ohio. It was fine, but the sheets were terrible – we both ended up looking like we’d been gone over with sandpaper. 🙁

    Sorry, not very wacky… But it sure does stick out in my mind.

  11. Sally says:

    I was in the Virgin Islands once. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters.

    Okay, okay that was Phil Conner’s day BUT the sea otters part is true, especially as we were young and celibate, and as we had a morning ceremony, we ended up with a wedding afternoon as far as consummation went because we couldn’t wait. That was 21 years ago 🙂

    My captcha word: between 99. Hmmmm…

  12. Jessica says:

    The most memorable part of my wedding was not the wedding night but the end of the ceremony.  At the :you may now kiss the bride” point I stood up on my tip toes (I’m very short and my hubby is tall) and turned my head so he could kiss my cheek…. Everyone laughed, he grabbed my head and turned it back so he could kiss me right.  Not my fault!  We had a habit of him kissing me on the cheek and I was so relieved it was all over that I was on auto pilot. 

    Like other I have a hair story too.  I had very long hair that had been all twisted and pinned up into a crown, wound into and around my headpiece, with pearls also in it.  My hairdresser did an amazing job as it didn’t budge an inch all day or night, but it did take forever to get out.  I think I fell asleep while my husband was still working out pins (there were at least 200 in there) and I know when we woke up the next morning there were still quite a few more to get out.  And thank goodness I had packed my special detangling condition as my hair was one giant mat with hair product and twists (and more pins…) and it took two washes to get it all out and combed.

  13. Jennifer Spiller says:

    My wedding night story is very boring. As so many others have said, we were exhausted between a long, sleepless week of preparation and then copious amounts of alcohol post rehearsal-dinner and at the reception. So we fell right into bed—and slept.

    I don’t know where my parents slept on their actual wedding night, but they honeymooned in Vegas. This was 1968. I don’t think either one of them had ever been in a remotely nice hotel before. One of their wedding gifts was an old super 8 movie camera, and there are hilarious videos of my 21 year old Mom in a baby doll nightie jumping on the bed in the hotel room, followed by several (I kid you not) videos slowly pannign the view of the Vegas strip from their window. They were both so young and goofy and silly. My Dad passed away this year, but I’m so glad we have all those home movies.

    And, Maggie P.—Your grandparents wedding story is by far the funniest wedding night story I have ever heard. I am very glad my coffee was safely on the table, or there would have been spewage.

  14. Beki says:

    My husband did not WANT a wedding and me and my ADHD did not want to PLAN a wedding, so we hotfooted it to Virginia where you can do the whole shebang inside an hour and a half or so.  I will say, I was NOT at all disappointed about that as the minister was amazing and the church was lovely and it was so sweet to say our vows before God in that setting, just the two of us.  I’m still kind of swoony about it.

    Now then.  On the way back home, we stopped at an Omelet Shoppe (kinda like a Waffle House) for dinner (chili and grilled cheese) and then drove on in to where my folks had planned a wedding shower.  We spent a few hours opening gifts from every relative I have and being kissed over and over again.  We then took off alone to a dive bar and drank some beers and danced before showing up at midnight at my grandparents’ house where we were supposed to spend the night (because we were broke and my folks’s house was still bursting with other kids).  We were dumb enough to consummate all night long, getting about two hours sleep before we had to be up for a full day on Saturday.  Moving Day.  During which we packed all our stuff into a Uhaul, hooked my car onto the trailer, and then drove to HIS folks to do the same with all his stuff. 
    The next morning we drove ten hours to Hilton Head Island where we would live, managing to drag one lonely mattress up three flights of stairs and FALL DOWN when we got there.  A few days later, once we were good and moved in and had a fully-made bed, we finally regained a little strength and began to live like newly weds.  That’s been, THIRTEEN YEARS ago this October.  I still love him despite his massive error in judgment in moving us to HILTON HEAD for the first year of our marriage.  If you are at all poor, I don’t recommend it.:)

  15. Andrea says:

    I love all these stories!  I’m a wedding planner and I don’t ever get to hear what happens after. 🙂 

    I got married to my husband 5 years ago.  His mother owns the wedding chapel in Kentucky where I work.  We had an outdoor, tented wedding and reception there that she presided over.  It was really special having her marry us and it went beautifully.  We did a lot of the work ourselves since we’re in the industry and ended up at the site until about 4:00 in the morning. The whole day and night went by in a blur for all of us, despite the fact that Sharon (my mother-in-law) and I do about 100 weddings a year. 

    My husband and I got to the lovely Brown Hotel in Louisville, Ky at about 5:00 that morning.  We were wiped out, but my maid of honor had arranged for champagne and breakfast to be waiting on us, so we stayed up and enjoyed that as best we could.  We were just getting ready to go to bed and have our first married sex EVER.  We’d met in high school at the age of 15, but didn’t get married until we were both 34! I’d dated him for 6 years, we’d spent time living together, broken up, being friends, being lovers…he’s always been a huge part of my life. The moment felt huge, like spiking the football after the longest game in history.  He’s looking into my eyes, I’m trying to look appropriately awed and turned on and in love when it hits me.  We didn’t take the marriage license with us, it wasn’t signed by our witnesses, it wasn’t signed by our officiant.  It was absent. 

    And here’s me, FINALLY landing the marriage-averse cynical man of my dreams!  Except it wasn’t legal!  Should I point it out?  Should I keep my mouth shut and get on with it?  I was seriously torn, like after all that we’d been through he might seriously consider this a get out of jail free card!  A testament to my compromised mental state, he would never have done that. 🙂

    I did end up telling him and we ended up laughing about my hesitation in mentioning it.  We sorted it out with my mother-in-law the next day…but my husband will now occasionally joke about how we’re not REALLY married. 🙂

  16. Kristin says:

    Love this idea!

    My friend had the most amazing outdoor wedding.  I think as a woman it’s required that I say that about every wedding I’ve ever been to, it would be bad form to say anything to the contrary.  Fortunatly in this case it’s true. Surrounded by friends and family she walked through a lush yard to the spot where her husband to be and the preacher awaited her.  Even in tea length strapless dresses our maekup was gone and our hair, once coiffed to perfection, was flat within an hour because it was so hot outside.  The only salvation was the breeze that picked up later in the day.

    I could see in her eyes when she rode off into the sunset that she was tired, but she was adamant that she would enjoy her wedding night.  Being slightly stubborn, not unlike myself, I figured she would pull it together.  However, when her and her husband returned from their honey moon she could help but tell me the truth.

    When they finally arrived at their hotel they were so tired/excited from the day that they couldn’t even eat, so instead they decided to cut loose and have a little fun.  Her husband went to freshen up a little while she layed down on the bed to catch her breath. Within seconds the toll of the day sunk it’s claws in and she was passed out!  Her husband came out of the bathroom to snuggle up to her and found her so soundly asleep that she was drooling on the pillow.  Nothing says “I Love you” like drool.  As the best of husbands would do, instead of being dissapointmed he curled up next to her and was also out within seconds. 

    The rest of the honeymoon though…let’s just say it more than made up for it.  Well rested and resfreshed this husband and wife enjoyed every minute of the next few days.

  17. DreadPirateRachel says:

    Hubby and I decided (for some reason that I don’t remember) to stop having sex for a couple of months before the wedding. I don’t recall what we were hoping to accomplish, but the result was that we were cranky and horny.

    The night before the wedding, I stayed with my sister since her apartment was close to the venue. Our suitcases were there waiting for us to pick them up after our great escape from the reception. Unfortunately, I forgot the marriage license in the front pocket of one of them, so we pretended to get married at the church, had our reception, and then rushed back to the apartment with the minister, the photographer, and the witnesses. It took forever!

    When all the papers were finally signed and everybody had at last gone home, I went upstairs to change into something a little less… puffy. Hubby followed me, of course. He unzipped the dress, and his eyes sort of glazed over.

    At this point, we both decided we couldn’t wait any longer, so he picked me up and dropped me onto the bed. My SISTER’S bed! It was pretty quick, but the trip to our honeymoon destination was much nicer than it would have been otherwise!

  18. MikieJ says:

    I’m not married (yet! 9 more months!!), but I know no one in my family has had a really good honeymoon. My parents never got theirs, but Dad made up for it on their 25th Anniversary. A midnight cruise in Chicago. Had my youngest sister not long after. In the space of 20 years, they’ve had 6 daughters. I guess you could say that instead of having one big honeymoon they’ve had one too many?!? 😀

    And might I add that I would love this mattress for my honeymoon? Not for those tender moments, but for a blissful night of sleep! Hey, we all have to make concessions hubby-to-be.

    My caption will be YouCanWaitUntilMorning9. (Since I’m waiting those 9 months for marriage!) I thought it was rather clever. 😛

  19. Ridley says:

    Because I had gotten a terrible medical diagnosis while working as a barely insured substitute teacher, my husband and I got married on short notice so I could get his much more comprehensive insurance.

    Rather than just do the courthouse thing, I threw together a smallish wedding with 60 guests at a restaurant the Saturday after Thanksgiving. The wedding started and ended early, and we and our guests wanted something a bit more than just dinner and drinks. So, we filed into this old dive bar in downtown Lowell, MA and got down to business. As soon as I walked in the door, friends put bottles of High Life in each of my hands, and made sure neither hand wanted for refreshment. My favorite picture of me in my wedding finery is with my head tipped back downing a mug of beer – a mug of beer I grabbed from my cousin after calling him a pussy when he said he couldn’t possibly drink any more.

    By the time we got to our hotel room at 2am or so, I was trashed. While taking my stockings off I lost my balance,  fell over and absolutely could not get back up. My husband had to pick me up and put me in bed. I then fell fast asleep, determined to meet oblivion before the spins set in. Needless to say, there was no nookie that night, or if there was, only he remembers it.

    Mercifully, I did not have a hangover the next morning. I shot awake at 7am refreshed and ready to meet the day. Husband, not so much. C’est la vie.

  20. Sori says:

    Our wedding was the wonderful beautiful day/evening I’d planned for so long.  It was fabulous.  Unfortunately, all I really planned was the wedding… I didn’t plan anything for the honeymoon, except my friend worked for the Hampton Inn and she got me half price rates at the Outer Banks.  So we decided to sleep at home then drive to the outer banks.  I hadn’t googled it or even looked at a map, but the place we thought was maybe 3-4 hours away turned out to be well over 6 hours away.  We spent our day driving and driving.  My new husband entertained me the whole drive—I never laughed so hard, but we both were exhausted from the unexpectedly long drive.  The hotel turned out to be a regular strip hotel across the street from the beach… no view, no honeymoon suite.  We checked in and took a nap.  My new husband who’d promised to quit smoking when we got married lit up.  We then had our very first fight.  I’m thinking we need a second honeymoon.

  21. hollykate says:

    I’m not married yet, but it’s just a matter of time.

    When my mom had her second wedding, I was about 13 and my brother and I both got very ill with the flu that day, so my sister was the only one able to attend. My mom and her new husband stayed at a hotel for the weekend, and I can only imagine that she didn’t have the best time, knowing two of her kids were both so sick!

  22. Leslie Kelly says:

    Hubby and I honeymooned in Barbados and were pretty shocked when we arrived to find out our “honeymoon” suite had 2 twin beds.

    We ended up tying them together with a pair of long tube socks, which we then forgot about after we checked out. I have often wondered what the maids thought when they went to put the room back to normal after we were gone! lol!

  23. Daisy says:

    My husband and I left our reception and drove into the big city to spend out wedding night.  We arrived at the hotel close to midnight and spent the next couple of hours doing what newly married couples do.  Around 2am there was a knock on the door – my new husband got up and answered it, only to find that the best man and his girlfriend were standing there with a bottle of champagne.  They had gotten extrememly toasted and decided to come to the city and share the final bottle with us.  They pushed their way into the room and stayed and stayed and stayed.  I was in bed, wearing nothing, with no graceful way to get up and put on a robe or anything, so spent the next several hours cowering in bed, trying to make sure nothing inappropriate was uncovered, dodging questions of a questionable nature and trying to reason with two very drunk people and explain to them why they should leave. 

    We (and by we, I mean my husband, who at least had pants on!) finally ended up getting them a room (they were too drunk to drive) and putting them to bed. 

    To this day – they laugh about it; us, not so much.  My husband and I vowed revenge on the best man’s honeymoon night – but in the end, I liked his bride too much to do that to her.

  24. Amy Crook says:

    My wedding night story’s more of a wedding day story—I’d already been living with my hubby for a while at the time. We had a tiny little wedding (~25 people total!) in one of those tents they attach to hotels to make extra space. After the recessional we came out and, as newlyweds are wont to do, shared another, rather warmer kiss.

    And then looked up, startled by the enthusiastic applause from everyone having lunch at the hotel cafe across the lobby!

    Alas, though it started wonderfully, it ended years ago. But it still makes a fun story. 😉

  25. Crystal says:

    In December it will be nine years that DH and I have been married.  He is a teacher and at the time I was working in an emergency room, so we decided to get married during his Christmas break.  The ceremony was at a local hotel that a friend owned, and was short and sweet.  There was dancing and laughing, even though our DJ didn’t show up, and then there was the police.  Being an EMT in a small town, you get to know the police and fire fighters really well.  The entire police department showed up at our reception, and handcuffed DH and I.  The photographer caught the shot as I was trying to get away and my sweet husband looks terrified.  That was the wedding photo we sent to every single relative we have (hehe).  The wedding night was interesting.  We get up to our room and it has been thoroughly sabotaged.  I mentioned we got married in December, right?  The room’s thermostat had been turned all the way down and the ceiling fan was on high, and someone had been kind enough to bring in another floor fan.  There was ice on the windows.  On the inside.  We finally get in bed only to find that the space between the mattress and box springs has been filled up with the industrial packing bubbles.  I’m not talking bubble wrap.  I’m talking the fist sized air pockets.  It sounded like gunshots.  We finally quit laughing and fell asleep.  I got out of bed the next morning and slipped in the pile of bubbles and bruised my butt.  Our getaway car had been saran wrapped and there was vaseline in the door handles.  Four years later when he sold the car, the handles still felt greasy to me.  Everytime I walk in our bedroom and see the wedding picture of us handcuffed together though, I smile and remember how much it was all worth it.

  26. Neets says:

    My best friend had the most gorgeous wedding I’d ever seen.  A beautiful winter ceremony out past town borders.  They timed it so the moon and the sun would be in the sky and they could take their photographs in the sunset.  That night though, after everything got picked up cleaned out and cleared away?  Her husband propositions having anal sex for the first time.  On their wedding night.  I believe the phrase “pooper shooter” was used in the proposition.  It was the funniest thing I ever heard.

  27. SandyCB says:

    I have a Now and Later wedding story.

    We had our wedding in Berea, Ohio. I’ve never lived in Ohio, but my parents moved there to live with my sister after my Dad’s illness. He couldn’t travel, so the wedding had to be there. I was in school, so my Mom and my sister planned the whole thing. My sister even drafted a colleague to marry us. It turns out he was a Roman Catholic priest in addition to teaching business administration. He had left active ministry after chaining himself to the Pentagon protesting the Vietnam War, but could still perform weddings. Other than attributing “The Wedding Song” to Paul Simon instead of Paul Stookey in his homily, he did well.

    Fifteen years later we decided to start a family. We were fallen away Catholics, so we joined our local congregation. When we met with the priest to discuss our situation, he told us we needed to bless the marriage because we were married outside the Church. (Marriage Blessing = Another Ceremony, leading to many Dukes of Hazzard jokes from friends, as I was six months pregnant.)  When he asked about the first ceremony, I was prepared for some confusion, but I needn’t have worried. They went to the same seminary, and he knew the man!

    (The second ceremony was lovely too, btw, and my sister still fields the occasional question from the first priest about how we’re doing—still married 26 years later.)

  28. Erin L says:

    Ah the wedding weekend. It all started on a Friday night. During the wedding rehearsal my FIL told my husband that he still had time to run. I did not think this was funny at all and proceeded to take off and walk furiously around the block for 15 minutes with my maid of honor. Post rehearsal my husband and I went to our hotel and a early consummation and he went to a local bar with the wedding party and out of town guests. My aunt who had brought her book group to help with the wedding got completely blitzed, conga lined out of the bar and passed out in the tub at her hotel with it filled with water. She had the keys to the wedding venue and I could not find her the next morning and when I finally did her friends were still trying to get her out of the tub. Thank goodness we weren’t getting married until 7:00 PM. Those book club ladies are crazy.

    The ceremony started a few minutes early as the start time was dictated as to when the 7:00 PM Amtrak went through town. Where we got married is a downtown historical building a block from the train tracks. The ceremony was 7 minutes start to finish, my husband looked hot in his kilt, we partied until 11:00 pm and took off. Once we reached the hotel I needed out of my dress and not for any fun reason. The weather and had conspired against me and decided to grace us with the most muggy hot stick day mid-May the PNW had ever had in a upstairs room with no air conditioning. In short I was disgusting. My new husband actually had to peel my dress, petty coat and industrial stint long line bra from my body. I jumped in the shower and sent him on a walk to get find us some food because I was starving. I passed out immediately after eating the hamburger. You don’t even want to know about the honeymoon it was one disaster after another. People still talk about the night before the wedding five years later. I wasn’t there so I just get to hear about how much fun they all had over and over and over 🙂

  29. Jessi says:

    So my wedding night was great – and I was actually surprised by how late we were able to stay up even after all the drama and stress of the wedding 😉 However, I still crack up when I remember that the morning after we lay in bed and watched Robocop, which perhaps is one of the more unromantic things to do, but it seemed very sweet and calm to me at the time.

  30. Jessica C says:

    Our wedding night started late.  We were supposed to do the pick-up at the end of the night, despite renting a place with staff.  So, we, along with parents, two coordinators, and a friend or two spent a couple of hours packing everything up.  The staff got dismissed early, I guess.

    We left darned late, and had a early start the next day, but we we did get some Jacuzzi time in with some champagne which went straight to our heads!  We were loopy the next couple of days, not enough sleep….

    I’d love a new bed, and the books!

  31. Kris says:

    I don’t really remember much about our wedding night.  I’m not sure who that reflects more badly on—me or my husband.

  32. Silver James says:

    Dang. I’m older than dirt and it’s been 27 years. I’m not sure I can remember that far back. We married in the morning in my parent’s backyard (lovely place with a gazebo, but it was August in Oklahoma!) We had lunch at a Wendy’s on our way to Colorado. Our first night was spent in the Silver Spur Motel in Ruidoso, New Mexico. It’s not there any more. 🙁

    On our way into the room, Lawyer Guy insisted on carrying me over the threshold. At the time, my size 3 wedding dress had already been taken in twice so it’s not like my soon-to-be Army officer husband couldn’t pick me up and carry me. However, he misjudged the width of the door. I had a black eye the next day when we checked into our suite at the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs. The desk clerk checked our reservation, raised one brow and simply said, “Ah, newlyweds.”

    And my spam word is power74! I am totally not going there!

  33. Eve S. says:

    My husband and I were married at a Renaissance Festival north of Houston, TX. It was wonderful. There was a whole fair to entertain the guests for our reception and I had two strapping barbarian warriors guarding the chapel entrance. It even rained a bit for good luck.

    The problem came later when heading to the cars to go back to the hotel for some newlywed fun and games. Husband was driving his family back to the hotel as they’re from WV and didn’t know the roads. I drove with my mother and grandmother back to the hotel. We’re all set to go when my mom’s alarm fob doesn’t deactivate the alarm.

    So we open the car door with the key and the alarm promptly goes off. We stood there for 15 minutes with incessant wailing (the car, not me) trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing off. We eventually did and as a result I was late for my own wedding night!!

    However, once we were settled into our own room, our wedding night was one to remember. I was so exhausted by being in my first trimester, I got out of my dress and fell sound asleep. Not to be outdone, he fell asleep as well. 🙂

    The honeymoon at Walt Disney World though…… *le sigh*. Let’s just say those beds are remarkably well made, but we put them through their paces. That was 13 happy years ago and we’re still going strong.

  34. Kristin says:

    We got married in Lake Tahoe in 2007. We were so dead tired after a whirlwind weekend, dinner, and then the casino’s with our wedding party that we came back to our very romantically decorated, rose-petal strewn suite…and we literally fell into bed and passed out. Not so romantic. Fast forward to 3.5 years later and we just became home owners a month ago! We are currently sleeping on a mattress on the floor. No box spring, no bedframe, just a mattress. But what’s romantic about that you ask? It’s OUR floor!

    But we could REALLY use a new bed… ;-p

  35. SamG says:

    My story starts out when I was very young.  My dad would have me fetch him water, but I could only reach one source of water.  You got it, the toilet.  Of course, when the figured it out, they told every relative.

    Now, during my wedding I locked my knees during some of the photos.  I ended up sitting down because I was feeling sort of weak.  Well, my uncle brought me a water.  And his parting words were to the affect that he’d just swished it out of the bowl for me.  The picture of my hubby and I sitting on the stairs in the church laughing is still one of my favorite pictures of that day.

    Sam

  36. Caroline says:

    My husband and I had been living together for five years and we had our reception at our house.  A lot of his family were staying in our spare bedrooms and sleeping on the floor.

    They all decided that they’d get a hotel room on the night of our wedding so we could have some time alone.  EXCEPT for his mother.  She stayed with us and sat up with us while we opened presents and finally I went to bed angry.

    My husband and I are still married after 22 years, BUT I still tell everyone he spent our wedding night with his mommy.  Needless to say, he gets a little pissed off when I tell it that way.

    Hopefully he’ll be happy if we win the bed.  And I might forgive her after all these years if something good comes out of it!

  37. Holly says:

    Wedding night.  Mine was… interesting.

    We got to our hotel and both of us had this really strange (bad) feeling about the place once we checked in. After some discussion, we decided to leave and ended up spending the night back in the dorms.  (Two bunk bed mattresses pushed together on the floor – mmmm comfy… NOT). 

    My husband seems to recall that there was a shooting near our motel reported the next day.  (I don’t recall one way or another.)

  38. TJOC Jessica says:

    Our wedding night we drank with our friends in a hotel room for a few hours after the reception ended at midnight 🙂  My husband and some friends smoked cigars and my cousins boyfriend went walkabout and wandered into the hotel kitchens, eventually finding (and wearing) a strange cape.  It was a fun night 🙂

  39. cories says:

    I’m not married either but I really need a new bed.

    Here are my contributions:
    – When my sister’s then boyfriend asked my parents for permission to marry her, both of my parents tried to talk him out of it (they liked him).
    – My cousin got married in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator and it was way sweeter a ceremony than I’d thought it wold be.  Too bad the next day, on the way home, I was in a car accident and the car was totalled (at least no one was killed).
    – A friend of mine went on a cruise for her honeymoon. She returned feeling really upset at her new hubby; it seemed he had been sneaking out every night, after she went to sleep, in order to gamble in the casino.  They’re still together so she must have forgiven him.
    – Another friend decided to forgo all possible wedding night weirdness by getting married in Kauai, with just the couple and the officiate in attendance.  They did have a huge wedding reception a couple of months later.

  40. A Smith says:

    My parents were married in 1959 in the fall here in Idaho. They had waited to have sex until after they were married. After the reception they drove to a small ski town that had a nice hotel and arrived late (there was issues with the wedding ring fitting and my mom way too embarrassed to be seen checking into a hotel with a man if it wasn’t obvious they were married, she wasn’t going without the ring) and the hotel had booked them wrong and had them down as two guys staying in the ski bunks. Three high bunk beds, nine to twelve people to a room. Kinda of like the sleeping porch style fraternities and sororities use. Well obviously that wouldn’t work for my dad (he’d had experience from before mom) so he pulled the hotel owner aside and explained the situation. The owner and his wife gave up their room for the night to my parents. It was a feather tick mattress. The following day a private room opened up and they were able to enjoy the rest of their weekend.

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