Reach My Telephone

image In my Simon & Schuster newsletter for August, there’s a contest for fans of author Kresley Cole to win two autographed books, and a phone call with Kresley to discuss her books.

At first my inner 8 year old, who is very shy, got a major case of the tongue-tied EEEEPs and wondered how much of a complete cranking fool of myself I could be if on the phone with a favorite author. Then I thought, well, I’m very fortunate that I’ve been to three RWA signings and two RT signings and have walked up to many authors whose books I’ve really loved and been able to talk to them. So is there an author I’d want to chat on the phone with, about book topics or random stuff?

The more I thought about it, the more I thought how much I’d like to talk to authors who aren’t available on this mortal plane, like Kathleen Woodiwiss, who passed away a few years ago. I’d love to have a chat with her about her early books, particularly as she is cited by many (us included) as having written some of the earliest books that we identify by the current definition as romance novels.

If I had to pick authors that could be reached with physical telephones and not metaphysical ones… tough call (pun totally intended). So let me ask you – what author would you want to talk to by phone? Or would you not want to talk at all?

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Random Musings

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  1. library addict says:

    I’m not sure I would want to talk to any of my favorite authors over the phone.  I would much rather meet them face to face, although that would be nerve-wracking enough.  If I were to speak to them over the phone I would have to write my questions down so I could sound at least halfway like I was familiar with their books and not a tongue tired idiot.   

    Some authors I would love to talk to are Christine Feehan, Jayne Ann Krentz, Merline Lovelace, Cindy Gerard, Eve Silver, Jennifer Greene, Susan Grant, and Nora Roberts.

    beyond94, yeah I suppose I could come up with a list of 94 authors I’d want to talk to.

  2. Brooks*belle says:

    I’d totally want to talk to Laura Kinsale, Loretta Chase, Joanna Bourne, or Lisa Kleypas.

    But I’d stutter, giggle uncontrollably, ask if she liked her waffles with our without peanut butter, discuss my chipped toenail polish, and then get an unstoppable bout of very loud hiccups.

    So yeah.  Maybe she’d be willing to write to me…

  3. Wow – thanks for the link!  I met Kresley when she attended the WRW Spring Retreat a few years ago … but it would be fun to speak to her again! 

    I’ve had the pleasure of meeting most of my favorite authors at chapter events, RT, RomCon, and RWA.  But one who has eluded me has been Johanna Lindsay.  She previously lived in Hawaii, and I intended to find her, but then she moved back to the East Coast!

    For Library Addict and Brooks’belle, I have met the authors you listed at romance events and they are personable, approachable, and support military families. 

    I encourage my blog readers (and winners of book giveaways) to email their favorite authors because authors enjoy readers’ feedback.  Plus you never know if you have something in common with your favorite author! 

    Soviet59?  Hmmm … I have been to Russia after Glasnost!

  4. Donna says:

    Okay, I admit, I clicked on the contest before reading anything after the first paragraph. Priorities, priorities…

    Needless to say I’d love to talk to Kresley Cole almost as much as I’d like to have a little one on one with Bowen McRieve. After that I’d love to have a chitchat with Gail Carriger with the clink of teacups in the background.

  5. The Reading Reviewer says:

    I actually requested and had a conference call with Kresley Cole right after the first Immortals After Dark came out with my book club which at the time consisted of me and my friend Sandy in Texas.  Kresley Cole is so warm and appreciates her fans so much that she was supposed to talk to us for 30 minutes and went almost an hour we had so many questions.  I did send my questions ahead of time even though we veered off of them quite a bit.  But I thought if she knew where we were going with them it would help her as well as us and i included a little bio about each of us and why we love her books.

    The friendship with Kresley continued after the call and since then she has sent (and now her assistant sends) an ARC of her books or this time the edited copy she worked from for me to read and review.  I strongly recommend the book to everyone who is a fan of IAD series and if you are new to the series this one will get your feet wet to the point of saturation so that you have to buy the entire series.

    Kresley Cole is a class act and anyone that can have an opportunity to speak with her should grab it.

  6. Meggrs says:

    I entered! I’m almost afraid to win. Heh.

  7. Betty Fokker says:

    I would like to call the guy who wrote the Bible. It’s a bestseller, and has radical fans, so I’d like his input on what the reader is looking for. I also need clarification on a few things … and maybe some suggestions for a sequel.

  8. Jacquilynne says:

    Assuming we also added the caveat that for the duration of this imaginary phone call, my incredible dislike of talking on the phone would go away, I would like to talk to Suzanne Enoch.

    I recently started reading her Samantha Jellicoe series and holy crap am I in love with everything about them.

  9. Madd says:

    ? Social Anxiety up this way. I’m actually worse on the phone than I am in person. So … no, I wouldn’t want to talk to my favorite author.

  10. KinseyHolley says:

    I’d like to talk to La Nora. I so admire her business savvy, her no-nonsense, cut the airy fairy artsy fartsy diva approach to writing, and her work ethic. I just think she’s very cool.

    Also Neil Gaiman, of course. But I’d want to talk to him in person, in his library.

    I talked to Terry Pratchett for a minute once, at a book signing. He was magical.

    I’d like to get drunk with Martin Amis and just listen to him talk about whatever he wanted to talk about.

  11. Patty H says:

    Julie Garwood, because the question burns within me: why won’t you write another beautiful, funny historical? 

    Cool chicks I’d like to have a chat with:  Jo Beverley, Joanna Bourne, Jill Shalvis, and of course, La Nora.

  12. DreadPirateRachel says:

    Georgette Heyer. Since it’s a fantasy phone, it can place calls to the great beyond.

  13. Maria says:

    On the phone? Are you kidding?! I can’t even get through an e-mail without the gushing and the rambling, at least not in the couple I’ve felt compelled to write. It would be better than attempting face-to-face contact, at least with an author I really like. That happened to me once and it wasn’t pretty.

  14. Lori says:

    I’d like to have a phone chat with Jennifer Cruisie, Victoria Dahl and/or Kristan Higgans since they write my favorite contemps. Oh heck, I also imagine that phone calls with any of them would also have lots of laughter.

    Another great phone call would be with you Sarah. Imagine the pleasure of a one on one romance conversation with one of the funniest romance bloggers on the internet. In fct, sign me up for that contest.

  15. Mandy:) says:

    I would definately have to be Kelley Armstrong, although I’d much rather meet her in person.  I LOVE her books and she is a fellow canuck, so I think we could have a great chat.

  16. Daisy says:

    Elizabeth Lowell and Virginia Henley come to mind – not only because they both write books that move me, but because of the sheer amount of research that goes into their books they just have be fantastically fun to chat with about anything.

  17. SandyH says:

    I think I would like to talk to Roberta Gellis just to tell her how much I have enjoyed her books through the years. Lynn Viehl is a favorite author of mine so I would like to talk to her. Carla Kelly hands down one of the best writers. Linda Howard – just to know how she came up with the plot for Death Angel – what a book. New writers Nancy Gideon – her female detective and gangster paranormal guy – WOW. The first three books are terrific. Can’t wait for more.

  18. Teri C says:

    Neil Gaimen, I woudl enjoy talking on the phone with him, so would my kids since we enjoy reading his books at bedtime. Kinda dark, be we like them 😉

  19. Cristiane Young says:

    Calvin Trillin – just about the funniest writer in the world (and his non-funny stuff is great too).

  20. Minx Malone says:

    I’d love a seance session with the deceased Phyllis A. Whitney.  I read her book “Feather on the Moon” when I was eight years old and haven’t stopped since.

    I had no idea what the love scenes were referring to back then but her characters hooked me from page one.

  21. meoskop says:

    Nora.

    Here’s the thing, before I had kids, many, many years ago – I was in an email group and a BBS with her and she is class right down to the ground. I know we’d have a good catch up chat and the WTF’s could fly without having to worry about miscommunication. She is a great person. I like her.

    Edith.

    I miss Edith Layton like woah. If we could have a line to the great beyond I’d give it to her kids long before using it myself, but I would like to tell her how many people appreciated her, how romance reacted to losing her, what a source of support she was to me, personally, and how I kicked cancer’s ass. Then I’d ask her what’s in those unpubbed books from her glory days that were tied up in rights issues.

    If you never read Edith Layton, pick up one of her non-regency Signets to get your feet wet, then dive into the rest of her career.

  22. Carin says:

    Ooooh.  Nora Roberts.  Or Victoria Dahl.  Oh, oh!  Or Sarah Mayberry.  Would love to chat with any of them and so many others!

  23. Ashley says:

    damn you Simon and Schuster!!! Canadians want to speak with Kresley Cole too!!! This is so not fair 🙁

    oh uh I guess i should answer the question.  Kresley Cole, Kelley Armstrong, or Sherrilyn Kenyon.  Though I think Kelley the most.

  24. Cate says:

    I absolutely want to talk to David Mitchell, hands down my favorite writer, but I’m sure I’d make a fool out of myself. Maybe he could do all the talking and I’d just soak it all up?

    I’d also like to say howdy to Hannah Howell, who I credit with getting me started on romance. I remember finding one of her books when I was in high school – the hero was Cloud Ryder and I forget the woman’s name but they had twins, Thor and Tempest – and passing it around to my friends like, “guys, you HAVE to read this! THEY HAVE SEX!” 🙂 Anyway, I think it would be fun to chat with her and say thanks.

  25. I have two.

    1). Margaret Mitchell, author of the greatest story of all time, GWTW. I went to the museum in Georgia and was blown away by this amazing woman who was a journalist when women weren’t supposed to be doing “men’s work.” She was truly a class act with an immeasurable talent.

    2.) Nora Roberts. (Who wouldn’t? She’s the queen of the genre for a reason.) I would enjoy getting to know her as a person, which given the demands on her time and energy, is likely impossible.

  26. Rebecca says:

    @Kinsey – Ok, I officially now envy you the pleasure of meeting Terry Pratchett.  (I’m about to start a re-read of the Pratchett/Gaiman collaboration GOOD OMENS and I’m dancing up and down waiting for the next Tiffany Aching book, I SHALL WEAR MIDNIGHT.)  I think I’d rather email a favorite author and get a response than talk first thing.

  27. Pam says:

    Elizabeth Peters/Barbara Michaels

    She is the first mystery/romance writer that could make me laugh out loud.  I also cut my romance eyeteeth on Phyllis Whitney and Mary Stewart, but got tired of the limitations gender placed on the heroines.  Elizabeth Peters’ Amelia Peabody was gutsy, flawed and funny, and I would just love the chance to tell the author how much her work meant to me.

  28. KinseyHolley says:

    Oh! I have another one – Kage Baker, who recently passed away. A writer of amazing imagination, wit and depth. Her “Company” series is unique, and I was so hoping for a sequel to The Anvil of the World.

    The night before my breast reduction surgery I was up late b/c I was nervous – it was going to be the first time I was put under general anesthesia since almost dying in childbirth – and I ran across something wierd in one of the Company novels, and I emailed her about it – I even told her why I was up so late (I was a little punch drunk) – and she answered almost immediately. We emailed back and forth a few times after that. She was amazing and it really sucks that she passed away so suddenly.

    If you like speculative fiction with social commentary, time travel, history and a whole lot of stuff you never imagined, you must read her.

  29. Pickle says:

    For me it would be Stephen King.  I haven’t read much of his new stuff, but his old works had such a profound impact on me when I was younger. 

    But the for real…..I want to talk Red Sox baseball with the man…..for hours!

  30. saltwaterknitter says:

    I second the suggestion for Calvin Trillin.

    His books read like charming, funny, serendipitously informative, big-hearted conversations between him and his readers, so a phone call would feel like picking up where you last left off.

    I envy his friends in NY who get to sit and eat with him and listen to him talk about food, and his daughters, and his beloved Alice.

    I, too, hope to find someone someday who loves me the way Calvin loved (loves) Alice.

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