All over the place, many of us are making final preparations to head over to RWA’s national convention in Orlando. Given my to-do list today, I figured it was about time we started drinking ourselves into a stupor with common tasks that prepare you for RWA National. And if you’ve never been, have a look at the fun – I hope you can join in next year.
Manicure: 2 sips
Pedicure: 2 sips
Both at the same time, unable to turn a magazine page or even scratch your nose which OF COURSE itches: 5 sips
Haircut: 1 sip
Haircut, and color: 2 sips
Haircut, blowout, and some form of impervious hairspray that is allegedly humidity proof (HAHAHA): 4 sips
Eyebrow waxing: 1 sip
Eyebrow, leg wax: 2 sips
Eyebrow, leg, and Brazilian bikini wax: chug! (Also: YOWCH.)
Packing list: 1 sip
Packing list with weather temps and chance of rain in Orlando for each day (hint: 100% chance): 2 sips
Packing list including day wear and evening wear: 1 sip
Packing list including flask: chug!
Packing list that includes fourteen different cables to charge 3 electronic items: 3 sips
Packing list that includes laptop: 2 sips
Packing list that includes laptop with intention to get work done on WIP: 2 sips
Packing list that includes 2 or more computers: 4 sips
Don’t Forget reminder for business cards: 3 sips
Don’t Forget reminder for nail polish to fix chips in mani/pedi: 2 sips
Don’t Forget reminder for speech, presentation, and/or PowerPoint slides: 3 sips
Don’t Forget reminder that includes picking up teal cardigan at dry cleaners: RWA Staff only: Drink up, ladies! Cheers!
Don’t Forget reminder for spanx: 2 sips
Questioning whether you’ll have time to sit outside and should therefore bring sunscreen: 2 sips
Bringing sunscreen anyway: 4 sips
Bringing sunscreen, tan accelerator, Sun-In Extra Strength for your hair, one of those mirrored reflector things, and your own padded beach towel: chug!
Bringing four pair of shoes: 3 sips
Bringing six pair of shoes: you are my roommate! 1 sip
Bringing five pair of shoes: 2 sips
Bringing three pair of shoes: 4 sips
Bringing two pair of shoes: 5 sips
Bringing one pair of shoes: I’m sorry, I can’t stop giggling long enough to assign a sip value, so CHUG!
On board your flight (or driving), you bring one book to read: 2 sips
On board your flight (or driving) you bring a few dozen books to read, digital or physical: come sit next to me, and 1 sip
On board your flight, you have one empty suitcase in the cargo area purely for books you’ll get at RWA: 3 sips
On board your flight, you sleep: 2 sips
On board your flight, you look at the other women heading to Florida and try to identify the romance writers: 4 sips
On board your flight, you successfully identify three other romance writers, introduce yourself, and share a cab to the hotel: WIN. Also: 1 sip
On board your flight, you end up sitting next to Teresa Medeiros, who for some reason has two cats in her carry on: 2 sips
On board your flight, you share your lunch with Buffy the Mouse Slayer and Willow Tum-Tum: chug!
On board your flight, the flight attendant wonders why she’s out of alcohol and only half-way through the passenger area: 4 sips
Please add your own to the list- and if you’re heading out to RWA this week, save travels!
As I often remind my DH before a major trip, “Packing lists are your friend”. Sorry I won’t be there with the rest of the ladies, but I couldn’t do World SF Convention in Australia and RWA both this year.
Maybe next year!
I’m falling down drunk before we even get to the end of the spa treatments.
Check, check, check, check… all the way down to the teal cardigan at the dry cleaners. HOW DID YOU KNOW?
Don’t Forget reminder for spanx 2 sips
Thank goodness I came to check out the drinking game. I almost forgot! Now I’ll have my two sips to celebrate the near crisis that was averted here. It’s not even 9 a.m. but I can put ChocoVine in my milk. 🙂
Adding “Don’t forget ‘Sign By The Author’ stickers for literacy signing” which I’ve done two years in a row.
How many sips do I get for laying in groceries and freshly-laundered clothes for 4 kids while I’m away, plus packing their bags so DH can take them up to his mother’s house for the weekend? I’m already exhausted and I haven’t even started on my own suitcase.
(I am, however, sneaking off to the hotel spa for a body scrub and massage on Friday afternoon…)
One of these years, I am determined to get to RWA…. and when I do, I hope that I remember this list!
Looking forward to your con-reports! *g*
Here’s one:
Figuring out how to pack two-plus outfit changes per day when commuter plane only allows 50 pounds TOTAL: Chug bottle—you obviously can’t pack it.
Finding your book in someone’s hands on the way to RWA: 3 sips
Finding your book in someone’s hands on the way back from RWA: 5 sips (maybe that conference admission fee is paying off)
Finding your book in any airport store: Chug-a-lug
This really only works for print books. However, an alternative is…
Spot two-four people using any form of ereader during travel: 2 sips
Spot five-seven people using any form of ereader during travel: 4 sips
Spot eight or more people using any form of ereader during travel: Chug-a-lug The word is spreading
What a fun post! Of course I completed my packing (without drinking) two months ago as I have been “off island” since June (so the Brit/Aussie/New Zealand authors who attended RomCon and will attend RWA have nothing on me).
Add to the list:
– one dollar bills and one size fits all compliments. I find if you check your luggage curbside and talk to the skycap (throwing around a few compliments) he may ignore the fact that your luggage is overweight. You’re out of luck if your luggage is overweight going to Orlando as it will be bulging when you come home!
– combination hand held fan and squirt bottle that will keep you cool should you venture to the hotel pool, Boardwalk Restaurants, and the theme parks. Disney sells it for $17, including batteries, but you might find one at Walmart. You can fill it with cold water or Russian vodka … your choice.
– reminder to drop off children with willing family members (I dropped of kids at Camp Grandma enroute to RomCon and had two weeks to myself to repack suitcase for RWA).
And I look forward to meeting Buffy the Mouse Slayer and Willow Tum-Tum since I haven’t had purr therapy for two months (since my cats have traveled to/from Europe and across the Pacific, they elected to stay home).
Smart Bitch Sarah:
I am not going to RWA (I’m not an author—yet!!) but I hope everybody remembers to pack everything they’ll want.
I was a winner of your Loretta Chase ARC contest and have just posted my review of Last Night’s Scandal to my new blog. It’s here in case you are curious. I’m really happy you chose my entry in the competition and that I got to read this book in advance—so much fun, thank you very much!!!
Lol! Share the lunch but not the alcohol to Buffy and Willow! They might like it and have their own drinking game for their mom.
How many sips if you realized you would have forgotten several important items had you not read this post?
Scarily accurate. How did you know?
@Beatriz: we all drink to you for getting all that done before you packed your own suitcase!
@carolyn jewel: I totally remembered stuff I needed to do as I was typing the list! (It was the Brazilian wax, right? Course it was.)
I haven’t started packing yet!! Now you’ve stressed me out and I need a drink! LOL
I too have done all the laundry for 4 kids and husband, stocked the freezer and reassured everyone that I do plan to return and promise I won’t go to Harry Potter world without them.
I’m exhausted even thinking about packing. I’m still working on my to-do calender! (help)
Reading my mind! All that’s missing is a sip for Cover of On-Board Reading Material Features One of the Following:
– Angelina Jolie
– Jennifer Aniston
– Mel Gibson
– Ali the Bachelorette
– A Kardashian (any will do)
Be certain to give Willow & Buffy a scritchin’ &/or belly rub for me as I won’t be there.
I have to ask…why the bikini wax? My times at Natioanls were never that much fun (though I wish they were…) 🙂
Oh, you know, just a little present for the DH for taking care of the kids while I’m away.
Though come to think of it, it’s not like he runs out and gets his back waxed every time I hold down the fort for HIS business trips.
Ok, I haven’t left the house yet and I’m dead drunk (and half packed!).
Well it is summer in Florida. There’s always the pool… and lifeguards/poolboys.
BTW, temps here have been running in the mid-high 90’s and humidity about the same. Plan accordingly.
Hope everyone going has loads of fun. The Mouse House is in my backyard, and I’d love to be there, but unfortunately not in my budget this year.
I leave tomorrow and according to this list, I’m wasted. 28 sips and one chug.
Now, what do I get for leaving my house for my husband to pack and move us (along with our two kids and my Mom) out of our temporary rental and into the house we’ve been building for two years, so I can avoid all of the moving stress and return to my brand new house?
(I wish I could take credit for the timing, but it is all the fault of the cabinet guys).
Special phrase: boy69 which needs no further snark to be funny to me right now. 🙂
Not flying out until tomorrow morning and already I’ve got a buzz on. Also, thank you for not mentioning needing a tan—my pasty legs appreciate the lapse in peer pressure. Also, for the beauty treatments section may I suggest:
Bejazzling: chug