Help A Bitch Out

HaBO: This Is How We Do It

Audrey asks:

So I have a HABO book I’ve been trying to track down for a while now, and I would enormously appreciate your help. The reason for my attachment to the book is a bit embarrasing but feel free to print if you use this: it got me all in touch (hehe) with my lady parts when I was 15. Apparently the love scenes were quite descriptive because I remember reading it and a lightbulb flashing THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT!

So this is what I remember: it was a single title historical, most likely set in the Regency era and probably published around 2000. The cover had a typical heroine, bodice askew, the hero whisking her away on his ship. If I remember the plot correctly, he was responsible for managing a prisoner ship, cause he was all dark and wounded of course. The heroine was involved with prison reform. Let the battle begin!

There were some memorable love scenes in his cabin and another involving honey or butter or something delicious.

Does you guys remember this one? I would love to read it again, if only for the giggles.

This is slim on the detail but prison ship romance?! Oh booh yah! This reminds me of the documentary I saw on PBS about the founding mothers of Australia, Voyage of the Courtesans. Anyone recognize this book?



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  1. 1
    Rachel says:

    Sounds a lot like “The Pirate Lord” by Sabrina Jeffries.  I don’t necessarily remember the honey or butter bits, but I’m not sure.  The heroine had been caught accidentally on a women’s prisoner ship bound for New South Wales, and was definitely involved in prison reform. 

    But he actually captured the ship for his pirates.  Maybe?  I think its original pub date was 1998, and it was recently re-released, so I don’t know what the original front looked like.

  2. 2
    Sarah L says:

    I was reminded of The Pirate Lord too. The ship was actually a women’s prison ship (or at least, had women prisoners on it), the heroine was on board because she was involved in prison reform, in this case trying to teach the women useful skills so they could support themselves and their children. She came along to help protect the women from being molested by the crew on the voyage, over the protests of her family, of course. The pirate captain captured the ship so his crew could have wives, since they’d found a hidden tropical island paradise and wanted to settle down. They were very cute and sweet about wooing their women, and most of the women were all “Hey, a man who won’t beat me and I don’t have to go to a prison colony, hell, yeah!” but the heroine was very grumpy at the women having no choice in the matter. Of course, she and the captain are slowly falling in luuuurve (and lust! although that part not so slowly), and (SPOILER ALERT) it turns out he’s actually a member of the British nobility and the people he thought were his parents actually kidnapped him or something when he was a kid, so they can get married, and all will be wonderful.

  3. 3
    Askita says:

    OMG. now I wanna read it.

  4. 4
    willaful says:

    Was also gonna say The Pirate Lord. And guess I just did!

  5. 5
    Andrea says:

    I’ll just line up and say that I immediately thought The Pirate Lord too. Don’t remember any scenes involving butter/honey but I enjoyed the book.

  6. 6

    I don’t know if it’s the right book for HaBO, but now I want to read The Pirate Lord too.

  7. 7
    SB Sarah says:

    Y’all. Y’ALL. THE COVER.

    Book Cover

    OH, for… *faints* *gracefully*

  8. 8
    Scrin says:

    Ooh! Ooh! Let me snark this one!


    That isn’t a mullet. It’s too long to even be a mullet. But if it had been a mullet, this would be goofy cover jackpot. Possibly more. Let’s count up the features:

    -Hoop earring in one ear

    -Puffy-sleeved shirt

    -The shirt is open, but tucked in

    -Mantitty even my 5’10” self could stand under. But wouldn’t. His right nipple is pointing downwards and looks like it could put out an eye

    -Abs were are curiously uneven. His six-pack looks like a five-pack.

    -A sword hilt grasped tightly

    -Form-fitting spandex. It’s nice he’s able to wear spandex, such a shame his lower body is do delicate it’s feminine. Look at that knee and thigh. (Scrin’s sister: Look at that butt. That’s a bubblebutt.)

    -More and more, I’m convinced this is no man. This came from Transylvania. Possibly the work of a man whose most trusted employee is named Igor.

    -My sister says she wants hair that flowy.

    -I have to wonder what that plant is. Is that what the artist is smoking?

    …Well, I do believe that’s a jackpot.

  9. 9
    Las says:

    Damn, I know I read this one! And now i want to read it again!

    Definitely not The Pirate Lord.

    Audrey, do you remember a scene where they were having tea and she remarked at how much jam he ate? She thought (or said) that he must crave sweets so much because he completely lacks any sweetness himself.

    Why do I only remember the useless details?!

  10. 10
    Donna says:


  11. 11
    Kate Jones says:

    Have been rendered speechless by the mantitty. 

    Except to say that we MUST identify this book.  Immediately.

  12. 12
    jody says:

    Another reason to love PBS—Secrets Of The Dead.

    I thought maybe I might like to read The Pirate Lord, but after seeing the cover, I’m dumping UnderThe Dome in mid-sentence.  One picture is worth…

  13. 13
    Sally says:

    Found a website (new to me, anyway) that makes it possible to search regencies by different subjects. I used the ‘reform’ and couldn’t seem to find it. Maybe there’s a better keyword.

  14. 14
    Jessica says:

    I flipped through my copy of “The Pirate Lord” and couldn’t find any references to food during the sexy times, but maybe I missed it. I can’t find any other book that would fit, though, not one that involves a hero that was a prisoner.

    Also, I have had “This Is How We Do It” in my head for hours now. Thanks a lot, SB Sarah.

  15. 15
    hethero says:

    Is it Wicked at Heart by Danelle Harmon?

  16. 16
    heathero says:

    I was so excited to have answered a HABO (maybe) that I misspelled my own name!

  17. 17

    Damn, I suddenly feel the strongest urge to make some toast…

  18. 18
    Lovecow2000 says:

    If it is Heathero’s suggestion, then look out I think this one has a Virgin Widow and a Angsty Brute tamed by her lurrrrve (aptly named Damon De Wolf)!

  19. 19
    Las says:

    Wicked at Heart is the one I’m thinking of! Forgot about the Virgin Widow…eww.

    Thanks, heathero!

  20. 20
    Alpha Lyra says:

    I’m amused that there are apparently at least two romance novels involving a hero running a prison ship and a heroine who’s a prison reformer.

  21. 21
    Marguerite Butler says:

    Now I must have The Pirate Lord (and if we figure out the honey/butter book, I want that one too.

    very word: western52.  No, no, no!  Pirate lurve, not western.  stupid captcha

  22. 22
    DreadPirateRachel says:

    Virgin widows make me crazy. It’s possibly my most-hated romance cliche. GRR!

    *crawls back into cubicle cave*

    Spamword: why45. Why do 45 thousand romance novels feature this singularly irritating plot device?

  23. 23
    Audrey says:

    You guys are awesome!

    Ohmygod, The Pirate Lord, I LOVED that book. I love me some Sabrina Jeffries. And clearly I have a thing for ships, haha… But sadly, it’s not it. 

    I think Wicked at Heart may be my winner!!! The plot sounds spot-on, although clearly I got the cover wrong.

    OMG, his name is Damon deWolfe. LOVE IT. I am so excited! Thanks heather!

  24. 24
    Anony Miss says:

    @DreadPirateRachel – Because the other 900K romance novels feature single virgins, of course. Widowed virgins are just mixing it up a bit, yo.

  25. 25
    Audrey says:

    Oh, and Las I DO remember that scene! Do you think it’s Wicked at Heart?

  26. 26
    ehoyden says:

    Pretty sure it’s Pirate Lord.  It was okay, but I didn’t read the other two in the trilogy. They’re still on my TBR self.  I vaguely remember the honey or jam references and everything else matches up.

  27. 27
    teshara says:

    I’m still trying to get over Damon de Wolf LOL!!

  28. 28
    brooksse says:

    Could it be Wicked at Heart by Danelle Harmon?  A Google search returned a 1996 All About Romance interview that included the below description:

    “The story itself has a rather unusual, and unique venue; it’s mainly set on a British prison hulk during the War of 1812, when Britain was fighting with both France and America. The hero is Damon de Wolfe, the Marquess of Morninghall, and his star has fallen: once a celebrated naval commander, he’s gotten on the bad side of his superiors and has been relegated to the lowly command of a prison ship, a task that he abhors and feels very bitter about. He’s a man of volatile, seething passion, a wounded wolf who desperately needs to be healed, but won’t let anyone near him. Definitely dark. Definitely dangerous. His life is turned upside down when the beautiful young widow, Lady Gwyneth Evans Simms, arrives on the scene; she’s a social reformer who has decided to try and improve conditions for the prisoners of war on the Navy’s prison hulks.”

  29. 29
    Lisa R says:

    Gaylen Callen (I think that’s the author’s name…) has a pirate ship book in one of her series. The hero/pirate’s name is Jack… he’s the black sheep of the family.

  30. 30
    Silverflame says:

    Voyage of the Courtesans?  HELL yeah!  I saw that documentary and it was awesome!  Anyone else see it?  All these women were being shipped to Australia and they all decided to be courtesans at all the ports on the way there.  Then when they got there they basically peopled Australia with their childrens.
    Are there any romance novels about that?  There should be…although the “courtesans” are never really courtesans in Romancelandia.  It’s always their first time out.

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