Help A Bitch Out

HaBO: OOPS in the Carriage

Camellia writes:

I’m hoping that someone could help me identify a historical romance book that I read in the late 80’s.  I’ve search for years and can’t find it. 

The heroine of the book is named Kathleen or Catherine who gets sold as an indentured servant to the master of a plantation on a Caribbean Island and becomes his housekeeper.  The hero is a plantation owner who is masquerading as his own twin brother as a masked pirate in order to get revenge on something or someone.  His hands became scarred when he was a child, so he wears black leather gloves all of the time.

One of the most memorable scenes occurs when our masked hero manages very clumsily to deflower our heroine in a moving carriage. They’d been making out and she ultimately refuses to go all the way.  He’s getting off her (with his pants around his knees) when the carriage stops suddenly.  He literally falls on top of her and the deed is done.  Literally.  Insert tab A into slot B. 

The plantation owner marries her and then becomes jealous of himself as he pursues her as both himself and the pirate guy.

I know that it’s not The Raider by Jude Deveroux because this was set on a tropical island.  I’d love to read this one again if anybody recognizes it.

Only in a romance novel does one get deflowered by a bad brakes. Anyone recognize this tribute to antilock brakes and smooth roads?

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  1. 1
    Lindsay says:

    I have no idea what this book is, but it sounds hilarious. Please tell me it’s meant to be a comedy.

  2. 2
    Lindlee says:

    This sounds like a combination of two Kathleen Woodriss books. Neither of the heroines are named Kathleen but since the author is Kathleen maybe that’s where the name comes from.

    The carriage scene sounds like it comes from Shanna. I KNOW the hero takes the herione’s virginity in a moving carriage, and it’s literally seconds before he gets dragged out of the carriage. I can’t remember if he falls into her or not.
    http://www.amazon.ca/Shanna-Mm-K-Woodiwiss/dp/0380385880/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277389984&sr=1-1

    The plot line sounds like it comes from A Rose in Winter. Here is the description from Amazon:
    Debt-ridden Avery Fleming is determined to find a wealthy husband for his beautiful daughter, Erienne, so he can pay off his mountain of debts. Erienne, however, has refused every one of the old men her father has picked for her consideration. When she meets dashing American merchant Christopher Seton, she cannot deny her attraction to him, despite the fact that he wounded her brother, Farrell, in a duel, crippling him for life. However, when Seton asks for Erienne’s hand in marriage, both she and her father refuse him. Instead, Erienne’s father auctions her off to the highest bidder—the mysterious Lord Saxton, a man whose horrifying scars are hidden by a mask and cloak. Erienne comes to know her husband as a kind and gentle man, but when Christopher Seton returns to town, she cannot fight her attraction to him. She finds herself torn between her duty to the man she has wed and the call of her heart.

    Christopher Seton and Lord Saxton are the same person. And yes, Christopher is masquarding as Lord Saxton to find out who murdered his brother.
    http://www.amazon.ca/Rose-Winter-K-Woodiwiss/dp/0380844001/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277390019&sr=1-1

    Hope this helps!!

  3. 3
    Lindlee says:

    Oh and Shanna is set on a tropical island. I’m not sure about A Rose in Winter. Maybe.

  4. 4
    Lindlee says:

    LOL Okay if this isn’t Kathleen Woodiwiss, then the description oddly enough describes many of her novels. I read it again and this part? “The heroine of the book is named Kathleen or Catherine who gets sold as an indentured servant to the master of a plantation on a Caribbean Island and becomes his housekeeper.” Sounds like Petals on the River.

    Snippet from Amazon:
    Falsely convicted of being a thief, lovely high-born Shemaine O’Hearn arrives in colonial Virginia from London on a convict ship and is sold as an indentured servant to Gage Thornton, a local shipbuilder in need of a nanny for his young son.
    http://www.amazon.ca/Petals-River-Kathleen-E-Woodiwiss/dp/1568655878/ref=pd_sim_b_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1277389689&sr=1-15

    I read too many Kathleen Woodiwiss books when I was younger. And I just realized I’ve been misspelling her name. Whoops!!

  5. 5
    Laura (in PA) says:

    I don’t think I’ve read this book, but the deflowering description made me laugh out loud, and then combined with the title of the post, made me giggle again.

    Thanks. :D

  6. 6

    I too would love to read this one even if it’s to read the deflowering scene.

  7. 7
    Beki says:

    Nothing to add but me too, me too in wanting to read that.  Ooops, i just fell down and now….  how hysterical.  That’s the kind of deflowering I would get with my luck.  The accidental plucking.

  8. 8
    Amanda says:

    I can tell you with absolute certainty that it is none of the Kathleen Woodiwiss books written.  In Shanna, the hero deflowesr the virgin completely on purpose in a moving carriage.  Petals on the River, yes, she becomes a guys housekeeper after getting brought to America but the similarity ends there.  A Rose in Winter, yes, the hero is pretending to be himself and a masked avenger of the night, but there also, the similarity ends.

    Sadly, I have no idea what this book is.  But I do know what it isn’t.

  9. 9
    Amanda says:

    Er…I meant it is none of the Kathleen Woodiwiss books mentioned in these comments.  I haven’t read all of her books, so maybe it’s a different one.

  10. 10
    Jan Oda says:

    This screams Kathleen Woodiwiss all over it.
    The tropical island, plantation and the pirates are from Shanna, the burned hands and posing as the brother + jealousy (though I think it was mostly Erienne who was confused by her feelings for her husband and her suitor – the same man) are definitely a Rose in Winter. I also think the carriage scene is actually from this book and not Shanna (I seem to recall she felt very guilty about loosing her virginity to her suitor instead of her husband), but it could have been a kiss incident instead of a humping incident.

    The housekeeping and being sold stuff is indeed from Petals on the River.

    If we’re wrong and this is indeed another book that has all these different plots combined, it must have been one hell of a Woodiwiss tribute.

  11. 11
    Lindlee says:

    @Amanda
    You’re right. It doesn’t sound like one Woodiwiss novel, but it does sound like bits and pieces of the ones I mentioned. I just wanted to put it out there in case she got two or three books mixed up in her head. I know I’ve done that before!!

    @Jan Oda
    “If we’re wrong and this is indeed another book that has all these different plots combined, it must have been one hell of a Woodiwiss tribute.”

    Espcially if the herione’s name is Kathleen!!

  12. 12
    LaLa says:

    “A Rose In Winter” is without a doubt my favorite romace novel.

  13. 13
    Carrie says:

    See, now I just want to do a mash up of all the crazy possibilities.  Maybe the Hero and the heroine could each have multiple personality disorder.  Does the heroine also have a secret separate identity, and one of them falls for the plantation owner identity, and one falls for the pirate, and vice versa, but at first they each love the personality that loves the other personality, but then they switch for a HEA – “The Delusional Clumsy Pirate and his Accidental Brides”.  It’s romance gold!  Also, can the maimed pirate please have an exotic or unusual pet, such a wolf or a pig?  Cause that would be awesome.

  14. 14
    Donna says:

    Yes, this sounds like a total KW mash up, but also a Valerie Sherwoodish. I seem to recall tropical locations and nefarious characters in her books.

  15. 15
    geckogirl says:

    I also vote for a Woodiwiss mash up, and would like to add that A Rose in Winter is the very first romance I read, and I read it as an excerpted thingie in Good Housekeeping. I believe I was 8 or 9 at the time. Then I got the actual book and BOOM my mind was blown.

  16. 16
    Cat Marsters says:

    Okay. Shemaine and Erienne? Good grief. Where do they find these names?

    But I’m glad to be reminded of The Raider. Loved that book. Heroine falls for hero even though she thinks he’s a sickly invalid, and gets tired of his dashing alter-ego. Very sweet.

  17. 17
    Sherri says:

    @Carrie – please, please, please write “The Delusional Clumsy Pirate and his Accidental Brides”!!!!  It would be the best historical romance ever written.

  18. 18

    This sounds like it’s a mishmash of several books. The bit about the hero masquerading as his twin, where one of his personas is a pirate sounds like it comes straight out of Virginia Henley. Here’s a bit of a summary from Amazon:

    The impoverished Lady Summer St. Catherine and her brother Spencer live in the family’s ramshackle country house until, during a brief trip to London, Summer catches the eye of Lord Ruark Helford, her wealthy neighbor in Cornwall. Upon their return to the country, Summer conceals her poverty as she charms Ruark, who proposes. Their idyllic happiness ends in a major row when Ruark learns the truth and concludes he’s been used by Summer for his money and his power as a magistrate to free her brother who has been imprisoned on smuggling chargesp. 277 . Summer flees and finds romance, mystery and financial assistance in the arms of a dashing pirate called Rory (obviously Ruark in disguise). Subsequently, Summer romps at court, sports with “Rory,” clashes with Ruark and even gets herself tossed into prison on her way to a final happy reconciliation.

    IIRC there’s no deflowering in the carriage in this one, though. I hope someone finds out which book the deflowering scene is from. I’ve seen it referred to before and I’d love to read it.

  19. 19

    I meant to add that the VH book in question is called The Pirate and the Pagan. Who can forget the opening line: “What an enormous cock.”

  20. 20
    Ros says:

    I totally love ‘the hero gets jealous of himself’.  That’s one mixed up guy, right there.

  21. 21
    Jan Oda says:

    @Carrie, you know if we added Woodiwiss’ Ashes in the Wind to the mashup we can have the heroïne dressed up as a boy, and the hero feeling strangely attracted to someone from the same sex.

    Really, Ashes in the Wind is a mash-up book in itself, but that’s probably why it’s my favorite Woodiwiss.

  22. 22
    Jeannie says:

    I have no idea what book that would be but OMG talk about having some great aim! Immediately my mind starts with the questions…if she changed her mind why would her legs still be spread eagle? And so on and so forth. I agree with you, Sarah – only in a romance novel. *sigh* That’s why we love ‘em so.

    When I was (much) younger I was a huge Kathleen Woodwiss fan as well. Shanna was a favorite.

  23. 23

    I’m 100% sure it’s Shanna.  I remember it because it was the very first time I’d ever read a sex scene in a romance novel.  I was ten when I read it and it scarred me for life.  The hero is like, forcing himself on the heroine, and she’s begging him not to, and he has a change of heart and BAM they hit a rut and that’s it.

  24. 24

    @Cat Marsters, yeah, what is it with some of these historical romance writers and names?  Particularly with the ones set in Britain, Regency and suchlike, where the women have names straight from a Bristol council sink estate and the men all sound like American wrestlers?

    What’s wrong with Jane as an historical name?  Or Mary?  Or John?

  25. 25
    meoskop says:

    I read this. That doesn’t mean I know what book it is – but I read this.

    I want to say Brenda Joyce, but I don’t think it is. It’s not Woodiwiss. I will now be driven crazy trying to recall this one.

  26. 26
    Sophia Brown says:

    This isn’t Shanna. Just looked it up. No indentured servitude and no oops in the carriage. I just looked it up on google books. (page 69)  he definitely does the deed with her in the carriage on the way back to prison but there’s nothing accidental about it!

  27. 27
    Sophia Brown says:

    @Jane lovering—

    @Cat Marsters, yeah, what is it with some of these historical romance writers and names?  Particularly with the ones set in Britain, Regency and suchlike, where the women have names straight from a Bristol council sink estate and the men all sound like American wrestlers?

    What’s wrong with Jane as an historical name?  Or Mary?  Or John?

    If you wanna see some really wild ones try Anne Perry and her Thomas Pitt or William Monk mysteries set in Victorian England.  Books are even more awesome than the names she comes up with.

  28. 28

    I’m positive Lindlee is right – it’s a combo of Shanna and A Rose in Winter. I vividly remember the carriage scene as it was the first romance novel I’d ever read and I remember thinking WTF?  Seriously? or whatever the 80s version of that was.  The carriage scene is definitely in A Rose in Winter by K.W.

    I’ve got it around here somewhere – I’ll go dig it out and look for the page numbers.

  29. 29
    JoAnn says:

    Dang, there are at least 80 books sitting in my to be read next stack (stacks?) and now I have to reread Shanna and the Raider. This sight is going to be the death of me. The very much happy death of me, but still.

  30. 30
    ks says:

    I read this. That doesn’t mean I know what book it is – but I read this.

    Me too.  I have no idea what it is, but I remember it.

    And as a slightly related aside, I have another HaBO.  This whole man masquerading as someone else and still romancing his woman put me in mind of another book that I read ages and ages ago (probably early/mid 90s, but probably published before that).  I think it might be a Johanna Lindsey, because I was reading a lot of her stuff around then, but I wouldn’t swear to it.  Anyway, the woman somehow ends up married to a man she thinks is stuffy, but hot.  But secretly he’s a pirate.  Anyhow, because she’s so bored, she dyes her hair red (all her hair) as a disguise and goes into pirating herself.  Somehow she gets mixed up with her pirate husband, but he doesn’t recognize her (the red hair works) and I don’t think she recognizes him at first, although I do think I remember that she figures it out before he does and decides to mess with him, but I could be wrong about that.  I do remember a lot of angst and drama and hilarity, though.

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