I’m Enchanted Whilst Yon Booty Goes Da-Na-Da!

Ain’t no booty like historical booty. And Harlequin knows it, yo. Thanks to Carin, we have not one but TWO historical back-that-up covers.

But wait, there’s more!

Carin and I are both somewhat alarmed by the second cover. As Carin said, “I do think the first cover model wears it better, though I may be distracted by the green mist on the second cover, which I can ONLY see as visible fart odor….” Yes. Gaseous-looking curls emanating from a backside can only mean… something not good. 

My question to you: whose historical booty reigns supreme?

Comments are Closed

  1. 1

    Guffaw! There I was thinking the second one had a much more masculine stance, and then I read your line about farty green mist.

    Anna Campbell was blogging about bottoms today as well. Must be something in the air . . .

    http://romancebandits.blogspot.com/2010/05/getting-to-bottom-of-things.html

  2. 2
    Francesca says:

    Although there is a certain appropriateness to the first cover because we see the pickpocket heroine in action, the actual butt and the stance looks kind of feminine. But, as you said, green gas and butts bring certain images to mind, which cancels out any potential hotness. Both fail.

  3. 3
    Tina says:

    Heh.  I was so struck by the VPL on the second one that I completely missed the noxious green mist and its implications.  And now, tragically, what has been seen cannot be unseen. 

    And yet, #1?  Shiny!  I just keep thinking that pleather is tacky, you know? 

    I have to agree with Francesca.  Sadly, fail to both.

  4. 4

    I keep seeing no.1 as a lady’s bum, sorry. Though if that really is an f/f cover, then win!

    The second one looks like the guy is wearing a nappy (diaper). And yes, farting. Also his butt looks saggy.

    Man, I’m picky for a fat old broad ;)

  5. 5
    ailikate says:

    I have to disagree with the previous posters, I love the first cover.  It makes me want to do all sorts of things I won’t admit to online.  The second cover, however, leaves me cold.  To me it looks like the guy is standing there saying “I did look in the closet, dammit, I still can’t find my shirt!  Why do you have to hide everything?”

  6. 6
    Stephanie says:

    Bought the Pickpocket Countess last year based on someone’s rec through a romance Listmania at amazon.  I loved the cover:  it was the first I had ever seen like it.  What’s more, the story is great.  Heroine with balls of steel + tight butt shot on the cover = good times, good times.

  7. 7
    Lyssa says:

    I admire a well toned bum as much as the next lady…but Not on the cover of my regencies…No, no, no…no bums on the cover.

  8. 8
    Jessica L says:

    @ ailikate That is TOTALLY what the second cover guy is thinking. lol Thanks for that!

    I have to admit that I had to really look at the first cover to see which was the man and which the woman.  But once deciphered it is a cute cover.

  9. 9
    Laurel says:

    I like cover number one for photo matching the concept. Plus, the green noxious gasses on cover number two eliminate any possibility for teh sexxy.

    And, it’s impossible to even discuss the second cover without unintentional puns. Note my above para: “Number two. Eliminate.” Awp.

  10. 10
    Brooks*belle says:

    Neither.

    Bum #1—Dude looks like a lady
    Bum #2—Noxious fumes and ill-fitting pants

  11. 11
    Beki says:

    I’ve got nothing to add but hugely inappropriate-for-the-homeschooling giggling which is making my 16yo boy say “What, what?” and I can’t possibly show him this.  Like he needs to know there’s a place his mom goes to make fun of/enjoy this type of humor and snark. 

    So good.

  12. 12
    Scorpio M. says:

    I like the second one, definitely more masculine stance and it never occurred to me to think that the green was noxious odor. It is in fact, it is a nod to the the drink Absinthe aka “Green Fairy” that the hero drinks.

    I read and enjoyed SINFUL, Lord Wallingford is very broken and defiant so this cover speaks well for the book.

  13. 13
    Julie T says:

    I have to agree with the above posters that neither do it for me. The first thing I thought of when I saw the first one was I have never seen a man stand like that. Unless they were dancing ala boy bands…

  14. 14
    TaraL says:

    I gotta say, that second cover doesn’t work for me at all. So much wrong with it, and the green swamp gas is just the beginning. It also looks like they had no pants to fit the model so they went with the ones that were just a little too big and only slightly wrinkled. And what’s up with the lighting? They needed something warmer because what they’re using gives his skin a grayish tone. Like the morgue lighting they use on CSI or NCIS. Not sexy.

    The first cover is better, although the way he has his hips pushed back and to the side a bit, the first thing that I thought of was that the photographer snapped the pic just as he was trying to make a discreet testicular adjustment. Still, the stolen pocket watch is cute and seems to match the title. And he’s rocking those pants. I’d offer adjustment assistance.

  15. 15
    Kristina says:

    The first guy seems to putting his rump into it and enjoying the squeeze, maybe even hoping for a Christmas Goose?

    In the second one while the booty is all muscular and flexed it’s the triceps on this fella that get me.  BUT those pants for some reason bring back horrible memories of jeans from the late 80’s that had the button fly and fold over top.  Anyone remember those?  I had a pair that was striped.  double ick.

  16. 16
    Wendy says:

    The first cover had me thinking: Why is that woman grabbing her own bum?  It took me too long to separate the hand from the bum and give it to the dress beyond the pants. 

    The second…well.  Gaseous and there’s something ill-fitting about the trousers. 

    I’m hard to please, but I did come to the site specifically looking for funny covers today.  My girlfriends and I just finalized a summer lake house trip, and said trip REQUIRES the best of silly romance covers.  I may have to bring one of these…even though we lean strongly towards a more classic swoony cover for our “by the lake” photos.  haha.

  17. 17
    mary frances says:

    i like both. I wouldn’t kick either out of bed for eating crackers if you know what i mean. lol. However I got a paranormal vibe from the neon green on cover two not absinthe/opium den. But I immediately wanted to buy the firts so that speaks for itself.

    mary

  18. 18
    Ben P says:

    I’m with the others on this:

    Bum #1—Dude looks like a lady
    Bum #2—Noxious fumes and ill-fitting pants

    If my wife caught me standing like the “man” in cover#1 she’d say:
    “You fantasising about Vin Diesel again, aren’t you?”

    PS: Even tailored historical pants can go the way of the daiper extremely quickly.

  19. 19
    JamiSings says:

    First off, I’m not a butt girl. Butt is where poop comes out of. EW!

    For me on the 2nd cover it’s not the green mist which is to the front of him and therefore, clearly not a fart – but possibly a warning he has a STD – it’s the rose in “Sinful.” It looks like it’s going to penetrate him anally and I HATE ANAL! I don’t want to think about it, read about it, or be reminded it even exists.

    Honestly, I don’t like either. Give me the front of a man, his face – and especially his eyes. I want to see eyes full of intelligence, maturity, with a hint of boyish mischief. Way sexier then a butt any day.

  20. 20
    runswithscissors says:

    You know, every time I scroll down that first image I see a pregnant lady holding her bump … except – wait!  Why are the legs in the wrong place? 

    There’s just something weird about the image and the way the bodies are entwined: more sideshow, less romance.  But still, Sideshow Bob wins over Green Gas Wrinkly Pants.

  21. 21

    I totally love cover 1.  It’s something a little out of the ordinary, the composition is good, and that dude is rocking those pants.  I can kind of see how some might confuse the genders—although I like that the man is in an ambiguous position that way—but I totally visually that backside going with some lanky, horse-riding Englishman.

    Cover 2 does not quite do it for me.  Honestly, I didn’t notice the green smoke the first time through and I totally checked it out at the book store for a minutes or two.  I think it is the pants themselves.  Maybe they are meant to be rumpled as a sign of his debauched state—in which case great visually story telling!—but they just don’t fit right to my mind.  They are a little baggy or something.

  22. 22
    Carrie Lofty says:

    I bought Bronwyn’s simply because of the cover. Tight booty groping FTW!

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    The first thing I thought upon seeing the first one was that it was a woman. Some of that was the clothing, such as the high-waistedness, color, and ruffled look of the pants. It might have been helpful to show more of the couple’s bodies on the cover; I would imagine there’d also be a way to keep the guy in period dress but make it less feminine at first glance. Then again, since when have romance cover designers known very much about what constitutes period dress?

  24. 24
    Kalen Hughes says:

    Neither.

    Bum #1—Dude looks like a lady
    Bum #2—Noxious fumes and ill-fitting pants

    I can’t stand the first one. That bum is totally girly and just where did she pull that watch out of? It was good for a giggle though.

    The second one—green fumes aside—at least looks like a man.

    Sadly neither pair of breeches are accurate, LOL! They fit too well, esp in the “bum”. Period bums are NOT attractive (thank heavens for tail coats!), Breeches and pantaloons have to be a bit baggy back there so the man can sit, due to the fact that they’re very high-waisted and they are worn with braces to keep them up.  I’d assumed the second one was a man in drawers, but I think I see a hit of boot at the bottom edge of the cover, and they’re too long to be drawers.

  25. 25
    Ellen Fisher says:

    I really don’t like either.  As people have said, the first butt looks a little too feminine, and the second one’s pants are too baggy (though he does have a really nice back!).  Plus there’s the green gas thing, which I might not have noticed on my own but can’t stop laughing at now:-).

  26. 26

    I could judge more impartially if I was seeing these bums naked. You make it happen, I’ll share my opinion.

  27. 27

    The first cover is better, although the way he has his hips pushed back and to the side a bit, the first thing that I thought of was that the photographer snapped the pic just as he was trying to make a discreet testicular adjustment.

    THIS is why I should never read through these comments whilst drinking coffee…

  28. 28
    Karen H says:

    I like them both but I like the first one better.  Because his hip is cocked, the pants are tight across his rear and it looks good to me!  The second cover model does look a bit angry and his pants are a bit loose but I’ll give him a try, too!

  29. 29
    Star Opal says:

    I like the ideas in both covers.

    Pickpocket Mistress=taking watch. I dig it! I also dig the “embrace.”

    I think what’s giving the weird butt pose is… Well I have this image in my mind that perhaps Model 1’s pants were baggy like Model 2’s, and someone had the bright idea that if he just stuck his butt out a little further… no a little more…. It would fill them out better. I mean there is just something really off going on with the limbs/approximate heights of both subjects here.

    Also her dress should’ve been a different color. Color wise the cover is very blah to me. And what the heck is going on with his pants being uber-shiny on just one side?!

    Sinful=I like the absinthe thing. I didn’t see fart, but cannot get it out of my head now. Thanks, Carin and Sarah. True the pants are baggy, but they should be even baggier as Kalen said. Personally I would’ve liked a messy shirt (Y’know only half tucked in, sleeves rolled up).

    My biggest problem is the rose in Sinful. If the rest of the cover is going to be stark and manly while still conveying Romance novel, then commit and don’t stick a flower on it!

    Dude vs. dude. I like ‘em both, but 2 has that vein in his right arm that is doing something for me.

    Cover vs. cover, I wouldn’t not buy either based on cover. But green and black are my favorite colors so Sinful wins.

  30. 30
    Scorpio M. says:

    Oh my goodness, I made so many typos! I can’t type, think & edit at the same time. Sorry! :(

    “I like the second one, definitely more masculine stance and it never occurred to me to think that the green was noxious odor. It is, in fact, a nod to the drink Absinthe aka “Green Fairy” that the hero drinks.

    I read and enjoyed SINFUL, Lord Wallingford is very broken and defiant so this cover speaks well for the book.”

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