Help A Bitch Out

HaBO: Super Seductive Grapes!

Lucy is looking for a book, and as usual, the description cracks me up like bad and gosh:

I’m looking for a great book I read ages ago (as you may have guessed).

Its a regency period romance, I remember the cover was purple and shimmery
with just text on it.

In the story, I think it starts with the heroine having been to finishing
school in France or something. Anyway, she comes back to England and is
living with her Aunt(?) who used to be a famous mistress back in her day.
Anyway, she’s looking for a husband, as they all are – and the aunt (I
think) keeps telling her that she should just try to be someones mistress
instead, and should find a guy to seduce(?). I dont remember much of the
story itself, but it was really good!

I think the backdrop was that the hero was a really active politician at the
time, and there was a lot of political intruige going on as well. Key
moments I remember:

-at some point, the crazy awesome aunt tells the heroine to dress up as
Cleopatra, which she does, and is delivered to his room with a black wig,
rolled up in a carpet – only to find he was busy with company

-during their uneasy courtship – the hero + heroine go to a dinner party
where she charms everyone by playing the piano – only she’s actually
playing some bawdy tavern song. Later on across the dinner table she eats a

-the climax of the novel involves them being in a brothel where they are
trying to get info regarding all the political drama thats been going on.
But when it turns out the police are going to raid it, they have to try and
escape, but because they cant – the heroine improvises by pretending she was
there to try and ‘save’ the prostitutes and convert them to Jesus or

My sister and I have been trying to figure out what this book was for ages,
so if you can help us out – that would be awesome!

I now have Grape Ape as a romance hero in my head. SUPER SEDUCTIVE is Grape Ape. Don’t deny it!

Anyone know this book?


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  1. 1
    Lyssa says:

    I know it’s not right, but all I could think of was “Gigi” by Collette. But that lovely parisian tale is what I immediately thought of…that and Mary Balogh..She wrote so many ‘prostitute’ who is reformed books.

  2. 2
    Kaffiene says:

    I so badly want to read this book. I’m definitely commenting for the follow-ups!

  3. 3
    Tamara Hogan says:

    “Grape Ape” might be a better romance hero than “The Vanilla Gorilla.”  Just sayin.’

  4. 4
    Meredith says:

    I hope someone can help with the title… because now I want to read it. ;)

  5. 5
    Lynda says:

    I love this book!! It is, “The Perfect Mistress” by Betina Krahn. Once I read your question, I had to go pull it from my bookshelf and read it again :)

  6. 6
    JamiSings says:

    Heh. Hey with Grape Ape as a hero we’d know the cover art would not be of an overly waxed chest!

  7. 7
    Charmaine says:

    AW! It was one of the few that I actually knew and someone else got it first. It’s definitely Betina Krahn’s The Perfect Mistress. It’s really funny!

  8. 8
    willaful says:

    Shoot, finally one I know and I’m late!  Must start reading this site before all my other geeking.  I actually didn’t find this book all that entertaining.

  9. 9
    Tracy Sharp says:

    Nice! Sounds Awesome!

  10. 10
    Kate says:

    Yup, as others have said, it’s The Perfect Mistress.

    Wllaful- I enjoyed the book, but honestly, I find that Betina Krahn tries too hard. I never love her books as much as I expect to, which is a shame because they usually seem pretty original. Like that one about the woman dolphin observer. I couldn’t even finish that one.

  11. 11
    Casey says:

    thanks, I just bought it!!

  12. 12
    Suzanne says:

    Never heard of the book, but the descirption of the Cleopatra thing was an out and out rip off from the 1934 movie starring Claudette Colbert. I have no idea if Elizabeth Taylor also did this in her version of the movie.

  13. 13
    Joy says:

    The Cleopatra thing (delivered rolled up in a carpet or bedroll to Caesar) is in Plutarch’s _Lives_, and the story itself may be older.

  14. 14
    lucy says:

    Hey everyone,

    Thanks so much! I was the person who sent the email in – and now I can finally find this book and re-read it. Here’s hoping its as good as I remember after all these years of trying to find it :)


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