Caption That Cover

While looking up the links for the Alexis Harrington review, I found this cover:


WOW. OH, man, what the hell is he doing? No, really, tell me: what the hell is going on in there? Caption this cover! You’ve got 24 hours to leave your best caption in the comments. I’ll pick the winner (and feel free to nudge my vote), who will receive a $25 gift card to the bookstore of his or her choice.

Really, what the hell is going on in there?!

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    j.f. says:

    “I need to fart so bad, I’m clenching these drapes, and I’m holding your head towards me because I want you to smell it with me. The fart.”

  2. 2

    “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Fabio!”

  3. 3
    Cassie says:

    “Have you pray’d to-night, Desdemona?”

  4. 4
    Theresa says:

    Not captions exactly but this is what is running through my mind:

    My dear, what?!  No, not your bodice!  I realize that my manly physique is irresistible, but I am not for you!!  It is Raoul who I…here let me cover you with these curtains.

    Never fear, my lovely!  We may have forgotten the sunrise in our passion, but I will shield us from the burning rays of daylight with these thick blackout curtains I have conveniently installed for just such an occasion.

  5. 5
    Ellie says:

    “After I shaved my chest I painted my fingernails, and now my hand is stuck in these drapes.  I don’t want her to know that, however, so I’ll smolder at her.  Wow, she’s smoldering back.  I’ll smolder more.”

  6. 6
    Lindz says:

    Degree’s new deodorant efficacy testing.

  7. 7
    Bridget says:

    ‘He flies through the air with the greatest of ease
    A daring young man and his sore-necked new squeeze…’

    (Did anyone else LOVE Brendan Fraser as George of the Jungle? Or is it just me?)

  8. 8
    diremommy says:

    “Your gown seems to be falling off of you, here, use these drapes to cover yourself.”


    “I tell you I am strong! Look, look at how I can rip these drapes down with just one hand! You can’t leave me for that Fabio!”

    “Bella, I grew my hair back just for you! You don’t need that filthy vampire! Here, let us close the drapes so we are not blinded by that silly sparkle of his.”

  9. 9
    Brianna says:

    ‘Hello, I am your lactation consultant for today. Let me show you how to get your baby to latch on.’

  10. 10
    Tonya G. says:

    “Baby let me pull the curtians so the neighbors won’t see me choking you out.”

  11. 11
    Stephanie says:

    Dr. Manlichest:  I have cured your cancer, but liquefied your bones in the process.  However, you are hot, so I will just hold up your neck, shut the divider, and make love to you on your rose covered hospital bed.

  12. 12
    Chance says:

    Hey Baby, ever heard of a dutch oven? no? excellent.

  13. 13
    Katherine says:

    So many strange things happening in that picture. But the funiest to me is that her face is practically jammed into his armpit.

    “Smell the pit, baby. It’s sooo good, you know you want to. Your little fetish will be our secret.”

  14. 14

    I’m with j.f. and Chance—this is totally a Dutch oven scenario, or the merciful release from said Dutch oven. Homeward Farts, more like.

  15. 15
    kathy says:

    “Now look, this is how we hang the sheets at my mother’s house.  Are you watching?  See, it’s just that easy.”

  16. 16
    closetcrafter says:

    This will only hurt for a minute…..

  17. 17
    Laurel says:

    The Tentmaker Takes an Assistant

    Logline: Casting tents in the drapes was only the beginning….

  18. 18
    Megs says:

    The world’s sexiest blanket fort.

  19. 19
    PK says:

    “See?  I told you the egghell drapes wash you out.  NOW will you believe me and buy the chartreuse?”

  20. 20
    Lisa Law says:

    “Look out your window at your man. Now look at me. Now look at your man’s nipple. Now look at mine…” Apparently resistance is futile.

    And thanks Chance for giving me something new to look up in urban dictionary. Blargh, bwahaha.

  21. 21
    Natalie Hart says:

    Damn these drapes! I need more light to inspect that mole.

  22. 22
    Appomattoxco says:

    A devastated Stephen finds Zoe drained of her precious life blood in the morning. Dead not turned.  How could he have done this to her? Gazing into her eyes, he pulls down curtains to let in dawn’s deadly light.

  23. 23
    Sarah Frantz says:

    OMG, Brianna! Too funny!

  24. 24
    Hanna says:

    “Heidi says it’s linen. Michael says it’s cotton. Nina says it’s damask. *I* say it’s silk charmeuse. Look at it! LOOK AT IT!”

  25. 25

    I couldn’t help but notice, the carpet doesn’t match the drapes

  26. 26
    Teresa says:

    “Drink from my magnificent nipples!”

  27. 27
    Xay says:

    “I really have to go but there isn’t any toilet paper in the bathroom. If I turn her head like this, she’ll never notice the difference….”

  28. 28

    Never gonna give you up
    Never gonna let you down
    Never gonna run around and desert you
    Never gonna make you cry
    Never gonna say goodbye
    Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

  29. 29
    JaniceG says:

    “OK, I believe you – my left armpit smells different than the right one. Can I lower my right arm now?”

  30. 30
    Holly says:

    Isn’t it lovely, my manly chest?  Please look at it closer.

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