Mullet-Off: Getting Dirty

Y’all. KristieJ is CHEATING. She ADMITS IT. She’s CHEATING in the mullet competition! Oh, the shame the shame.

She thinks a pre-glitter vampire Keifer Sutherland in a mullet is going to top TEAM USA?! Ha.

I give you the much-suggested Dog the Bounty Hunter. I didn’t want to bring him out unless necessary. But Billy Ray + Dog? It is SO on.

I mean, come on. He has shells in his mullet. Oceanic aquatic life is supported by the power of his mullet.

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To say nothing of the Luuuuuuurve™ baby, the Luuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrve™.

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The Dog mullet: you can’t beat it. You can only hope it stays within the United States borders.

I’m reloading the poll in this entry -so remember: the loser wears a mullet at RT and RWA. This could be epic win, yo. GO TEAM MULLET USA.

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Maisey Yates says:

    I mean, it’s a RACIST HAWAIIAN HAOLE MULLET. How can you BEAT that? You can’t. You just…you can’t.

  2. 2
    KristieJ says:

    My Keifer leaves your Dog in the dust.  PLUS!!  I have video!
    And you thought I was so nice – Bwhaaaahhhaaaaa!!

  3. 3
    Maisey Yates says:

    Um…did you not see the Haole mullet? The sheer, magnificent glory of DOG THE FREAKIN BOUNTY HUNTER? Canuck fail.

    She’s just jealous because we’re WAY more white trash on this side of the border.

  4. 4
    Myriantha Fatalis says:

    But his mullet isn’t just supporting any ole oceanic aquatic life—it’s oceanic aquatic life shaped like vulvas!  Now that’s a mighty mullet!

  5. 5

    Good lord, ladies, you really ARE bringing out the big guns here. ;>

    But I STAND BY MY VOTE FOR MACGYVER!

  6. 6

    Maybe it’s a ‘burgh thing, but I gotta say, this is an awesome pick. It might even top Hetfield circa ‘91, but that’s an awfully high standard to strive for…

  7. 7
    Jody W. says:

    Unless I’m misinspecting the pics, that’s not a mullet. It’s long hair with possible bangs, brushed back on the sides. Bangs do not a mullet make.

  8. 8
    Cathy B says:

    Just in case of escalation, keep in mind the wondrous mulletry displayed on “Deadliest Catch”.  It’s almost a pre-requisite to the captaincy.  Note:  The new captain of the F/V Kodiak, Wild Bill, is rumored to hail from Pennsylvania.  But best keep that mum.

    http://deadliestreports.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/deadliest-catch-kodiak-joins-the-fleet-season-6/

  9. 9
    Annie says:

    Americans have a mullet festival!

    http://cityofniceville.org/headliners.html

  10. 10
    Nymesis says:

    Wow…gameover.

    On the other note, I’m surprised there were no Mel Gibson mullets mentioned.  I guess technically he is an Aussie, but he sported some mighty mullets back in the day.

    Really, I don’t think that Dog’s mullet can be beaten.  But I would like to see you try, Kristie.  =)

  11. 11
    Aimee says:

    SORRY, that’s a FAIL! Technically, what you have here is long hair with bangs (as someone also mentioned above). I left the same comment on Kristie’s blog.

    And, while Dog is clearly classic redneck – of which this southern girl is very familiar – he is NOT sporting a mullet. At least not in this picture.

    MULLET= short hair on top AND sides with long hair in back.

  12. 12
    Lily says:

    MULLET= short hair on top AND sides with long hair in back.

    In other words, business in the front, party in the back!

  13. 13
    Jody W. says:

    Right. I keep seeing long hair misnamed as mullets. Get your ape drapes straight! Or permed, whichever you prefer. Another thing. A short haircut with a rat tail isn’t a mullet either, though a mullet with an additional rat tail is FABULOUSLY rodenty.

  14. 14
    Brandyllyn says:

    I’m torn between wanting you to win on principle, and wanting to see you in a mullet.

  15. 15
    megalith says:

    Here you go: For your viewing pleasure, a discussion of the various styles of mullet seen in the wild here. As modeled by David Beckham.

    Enjoy.

  16. 16
    JamiSings says:

    Just go over to PeopleOfWalmart.com – loads of mullets on both men and women to be seen there.

    Anyway, the only man who made a mullet cool was Richard Dean Anderson, better known as Angus “Mac” MacGuyver.

    True story – the reason Richard was cast as Mac was because when he went to read the script, he put his glasses on. Since he was the only actor to be humble enough to admit he needed glasses he got the part.

  17. 17
    Kim in Hawaii says:

    This cross border contest is getting funny …

    … over at Kristie J, Maisey wrote, “Um…did you not see the Haole mullet?  The sheer, magnificent glory of DOG THE FREAKIN BOUNTY HUNTER? Canuck fail.  You’re just mad because we have the corner market on white trash.”  I agree that my country has cornered the market on white trash.

    ”Haole” caught my attention, as it is a Hawaiian word for foreigners.  It can also be a derogatory word for brash white Americans.  Dog the Bounty Hunter would be called Haole for the latter reason.   

    Here’s a timely joke about Haoles from http://home.online.no/~tor-ma/jokes/haole.htm

    What’s a haole’s idea of open-mindedness?

    Dating a Canadian.

  18. 18
    Maisey Yates says:

    Hope I wasn’t offensive with the haole thing, Kim. I know it is to some people. My hubby used to live in Hilo, but I’ve never lived in Hawaii so I’m a bit detached from it. :-)

  19. 19
    Kim in Hawaii says:

    Maisey, no offense taken, it just was strange to see a Hawaiian word on a Canadian website!  Yet, Hawaii is much like Canada – a mural of different cultures vs. the US as a “melting pot”.  I learned this difference when I was assigned to a NATO unit and work along side the other North Americans – Canadians.  The Canadian military are very proud of their diverse culture.  And they make the best Moose Milk. 

    Sarah, if you win this bet, then I suggest you ask Kristi J. to make you Moose Milk (or instruct the bartender how to make it) as she wears the wig.

    But nothing is assured … as I learned Canadians can be very competitive!  I once deployed to Greece with a flying squadron that included Canadian aircraft maintenance NCOs.  Every morning, they used chalk to recreate a clock’s face on the aircraft’s wheel.  After the aircraft departed, the Canadians took friendly bets of Greek Drachmas to see who could predict which number would be on top when the plane landed.  Rest assured, we all worked hard during that peacekeeping deployment … the Canadians just made it fun!

  20. 20
    Kate Jones says:

    Though that pic doesn’t do it justice, I always thought Dog’s wife had a mullet, too.  Does she count in the competition?

  21. 21
    Lisa says:

    Sarah, that’s TWICE you’ve put non-mullets in your mullet collection. KristieJ gets my vote on principle.

    As a fellow Yinzer – come on! We have plenty of real ones to choose from without resorting to combed-back ratty long hair!

  22. 22
    AnnB says:

    FYI – Niceville, Florida’s Mullet festival officially celebrates the fish not the most wondrous and amazing hairstyle. (See this wikipedia entry – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mullet_(fish) for a picture.) But yes, there are at least a few folks with the hairstyle there as well!

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Christy says:

    I agree, not a mullet. There is not business in the front of this—Dog’s hair is all party!

  25. 25
    belldandelion says:

    I think we’re all forgetting the American Beastie Boys coined the mullet in the first place.  Oh yeah – and don’t forget Hulk Hogan; he has a classic skullet. :)

  26. 26
    sweetsiouxsie says:

    Well, I found a picture of Johnny Depp sporting a mullet. It was from his “21 Jump Street Days”. Definitely, he was the sexiest man ever to wear a mullet do. It really looked good on him! OH!! Be still my heart! Catung! Catung! Catung!

  27. 27
    AngelFire says:

    Ooooh, I’m sooo sorry Sarah! But LOST BOYS MULLET! Plus bonus, Singing in the Rain Mullet! HAWT! and HeartWarming! oo oo oo Sqeee!

  28. 28

    Ooooh, I’m sooo sorry Sarah! But LOST BOYS MULLET! Plus bonus, Singing in the Rain Mullet! HAWT

  29. 29
    Maggie P. says:

    @ Jody and those Dog Mullet doubters, here’s a bitter pic:

    http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2007/11/dog-bounty-hunter-larry-king.jpg

    you can see the top is defiantly short here. The Dog has had a mullet since the dawn of time, every once in a while the “business in the front” needs a trim. Sometimes he gets so busy catching criminals it goes a little longer than it should between trims.

  30. 30
    Jody W. says:

    I can’t see the pic of Dog, it just boots me to the main page. But when I searched that site for Mr. Dog, it showed me more non-mullet pics. There was one where he may have shaved a small section right at the temple? But still not a true mullet, he just has a long, unkempt mane of blond locks :). Mullets have no long hair until you get behind the “ear” line, IMO, says this child of the 80’s.

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