Help A Bitch Out


Leah writes:

I’ve waited a long time to send this one, because I have so few details, but maybe you or the bitchery can help.  Ok, I read this book around 1993, and it may have been published much earlier than that, because that was in the days of sneaking my best friend’s mom’s romance novels.  Anyway…

It is set in Italy, and the heroine is a mime.  Yes, a mime.  Who knew those annoying people could be so sexy. The hero is rich, and I remember a scene where she is demonstrating how difficult it is to be a mime by showing how her hands are so flexible that she does exercises where she sets her hand flat on a table, and then only lifts the palm (no fingers lift).  Try it- I have for years and it is impossible.  Anyway, I think it was a mystery, definitely a contemporary, and that is all I can remember. It was one of my first and favorite novels, and I think it might have been one of those ones where there are three stories by different authors in one book, which makes it even harder to find.  Any help would be much appreciated!!

Searching for “mime romance” on Amazon gave me this:

Not helpful, and also slightly creepy.

DEAR LORD. Mime heroines? I bet someone knows this one immediately.


Help a Bitch Out

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  1. 1
    Noite says:

    I would suggest Heart to Heart by Marie Ferrarella,  but I don’t think it was set in Italy, and the heroine, in addition to being a mime, was deaf.  It was published in 1989, though, so the timeline might be right.

  2. 2
    Griffin says:

    Ok, it’s probably really sad that I immediately thought, “OMG, I know that book!”  I’m pretty certain that you’re thinking of the “Di Medici Bride” by Heather Graham Pozzessere (I had the check the spelling on that one).  I remember the mime scene and trying to see if I could do it (I couldn’t either!)

  3. 3

    A mime heroine?  And he doesn’t just shoot her on sight?  Granted, that would be a very short novel, but think of the happy ending!

  4. 4
    Kat Sheridan says:

    I can do that with my hand. It freaks people out. Does this mean if the writing gig doesn’t work out, I can be a mime? On second thought, I already have enough rejection in my life, Why add people who want to shoot me?

  5. 5
    JamiSings says:

    I can kinda sorta do the hand thing. My thumb lifts up a bit but not entirely.

    I don’t understand why people hate mimes so much. It takes a LOT of hard work and talent to do what mimes do. Mimes deserve more respect then they get. Same with clowns.

    Is it because I’m a singer that I’m so pro-mime?

  6. 6
    Claudia says:

    I’ve always felt it was the heavy makeup obscuring their features until they’re virtually unrecognizable.  I get kind of uncomfortable when I can’t see a person’s face, and for mimes, the fact they don’t speak—so, no face and no voice—well…that just adds to the creepiness.

  7. 7
    Leah Vincent says:

    Wow Griffin, impressive!!  That’s definitely it…and I’m glad I’m not the only one who tried that with my palm. Thanks so much!


  8. 8
    Jen says:

    Am I really weird if I can do the hand thing? I can also bend my thumb all the way down to my wrist, in both directions. It does freak everybody out. ;)

    Sounds like an interesting book though, really. :D

  9. 9
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    No idea what book this is, but add me to the list of those who can do the hand thing.

  10. 10
    JamiSings says:

    @Claudia – Hm, then maybe another reason mimes and clowns don’t scare me is because I live in Southern California near Newport Beach. 99% of the people from there are so botoxed up and wearing so much makeup a mime and a clown looks natural by comparison.

    Okay, so I’m exagerating a bit. It’s more like 98.5% but still….

  11. 11
    Amanda in Baltimore says:

    I fear and hate clowns. Mimes are just annoying, although in Ankh-Morpork I do believe they are shot on sight.

  12. 12
    JamiSings says:

    *sighs* With all the mime and clown hatage I’m starting to feel like a freak of nature….

  13. 13
    Claudia says:

    @ Amanda: Not shot on sight—at least not by the government—but rather strung up (can’t recall if it’s by the ankles or the thumbs) in a pit below the Palace facing a sign that reads “Learn The Words”.

  14. 14
    AM says:

    I don’t think people hate mimes.  Okay, I don’t hate mimes, but I can see the annoyance factor.

    I think in part it’s the pretenousness factor.  Clowns put on face paint and funny noses to make us laugh.  The point of a mime is…???  On the surface, I guess it’s entertainment but I think the main point we’re all supposed to be thinking about the mime’s deep and sad thoughts.  That gets old very, very fast.

    Give me a clown any day of the week…(from someone prone to boring others pretenous thoughts herself…)

  15. 15
    JamiSings says:

    Mimes I’ve known wanted to make people laugh too. Just in a different manner then clowns.

  16. 16
    Amanda in Baltimore says:

    @Claudia – thanks for the clarification. I know The Patrician DOES NOT APPROVE of mimes.

    The thing is that mimes aren’t funny. And they always have this aggravating “GET IT? GET IT? I’M IN AN INVISIBLE BOX! I’M WALKING INTO THE WIND? GET IT?” attitude that aggravates.

    Really, to me mimes are antithetical to romance, so I can’t really picture this book.

  17. 17
    LizC says:

    Is that palm thing supposed to be harder because I can do it and I’m not at all flexible. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Hmm.

  18. 18
    darlynne says:

    I wondered the same thing re: palms. Does this ability make me weird(er)?

  19. 19
    Robin L says:

    @JamieSingsThe reason people don’t like mimes is because they do creepy things like following you around and when you try to get away from them by getting into the car, they try to climb into the car and sit on top of you.

  20. 20

    …they do creepy things like following you around and when you try to get away from them by getting into the car, they try to climb into the car and sit on top of you.

    Robin, are you sure that wasn’t just your normal, everyday stalker / carjacker / lap-rapist? The triple-threat!

  21. 21
    JamiSings says:

    But that’s because mimes want you to play along! If you mime along with them then they won’t follow you to your car.

    Seriously, next time you’re bugged by a mime just play along. Pretend to pick a flower and give it to them. They’ll be too busy running from the invisible bees to follow you.

  22. 22
    Alyssa says:

    I’ve always found clowns infinitely creepier than mimes. Mimes are just sort of sad and harmless; clowns have this creepy child molester vibe.
    The movie sounds like it could be amusing, if you were very, very drunk.

  23. 23
    Julia T. says:

    Ok, I am confused on this palm thing. Is your thumb suppose to not move as well? I feel like I can do it, but I feel like I am cheating…

  24. 24
    SusannaG says:

    One of my favorite seasons of the U.S. Big Brother was when the final 3 contestants were visited (and mocked) by a mime.  It was quite funny.

  25. 25

    Don’t like clowns or mimes, it’s the obscuring of the face that creeps me out. I can do the hand thing, but then I’m very flexible.

  26. 26
    sweetsiouxsie says:

    I am excessively diverted by clowns and mimes and I can do the palm thing and I have arthritis.

  27. 27
    Laura T says:

    For those who don’t like mimes, may I recommend the Avenging Unicorn action figure…with a mime that you can impale on the unicorn’s horn.  No, I am not kidding:

  28. 28
    Theresa S says:

    I can do the palm thing too… and bend my thumb flat against my wrist. I’m feeling quite flexible now! :)

    I don’t recall if I’ve ever seen a mime in real life. However, one of my favorite scenes in the movie “EuroTrip” involves an obnoxious mime and the lead character mime-dueling. Very amusing. :)

  29. 29
    DS says:

    Lots of mimes (and clowns) are not very good.  They are often hired by local municipal bodies to haunt festivals and annoy people.  I class mimes as a step above pan flute bands in terms of annoyance factor although it’s been a while since I have seen a pan flute band.

  30. 30
    Shelly says:

    I have an intense phobia (is that a tautological expression?) of ventriloquist dummies. Mimes remind me of the dummies. I don’t like mimes.

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