Random Links of Entertainment Value, Sans Angry Boner Man

First, from Liz: two words that should never have been combined into one title: The Romance of Proctology.

Everyone on the earth has linked to this, but hey, what’s one more?

Suppose you have many hours to spend, and you want to witness the exceptional flexibility of an author shooting herself in the foot while also stuffing her foot in her mouth? I think after this epic wtfery of a review for Electra Galaxy’s Mr. Interstellar Feller and completely unhinged responses from the author. I think any future epic flounces might have to be measured against this one. If you don’t want to read it, here’s a summary from a Ms. Karla Munoz:

This reminds me of watching slasher fics. You’re staring at the screen screaming at the blond not to run into the woods, but they don’t listen.

Yes. That.

Better to aspire to the awesome that is Carla Cassidy than to go down in flaming, shrieking, flouncing infamy.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that amongst the advertisers this month is a special coupon for you – an extra 10% off Harlequin presents novels. Good until 31 December. I’m in a serious Presents mood lately, and read the January 2010 India Grey novel Powerful Italian, Penniless Housekeeper this week. The writing was exceptional – and the hero wasn’t an Angry Boner Man. You know, the Presents hero whose fascination with the heroine is mostly based on the fact that he has a boner for her and he’s really REALLY mad about it? I HAVE A BONER. NO LIKE BONER. SMASH BONER. OW. Anyway, the Grey novel did not possess an Angry Boner Man hero, for which I was very, very thankful.

 

Categorized:

General Bitching...

About SB Sarah

My name is Sarah. I like to go outside.

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Nadia says:

    Ha, Author Full O’ Crazy has deleted all her comments at Amazon.  But you get the gist of what was going on from the responses.  Too bad the book sucked and the author spun off the rails, the premise sounded fun.

  2. 2
    Star Opal says:

    Ah, all the WTFery has been deleted. :(

  3. 3

    I love India Grey’s books – she’s becoming an autobuy for me.

  4. 4

    I love India Grey’s books – she’s becoming an autobuy for me.

    For me, too. To the point that I’ll look for them on the Mills & Boon site instead of waiting for them to show up at eHarlequin.

  5. 5
    Star Opal says:

    Aha, if you look far enough someone has posted her early posts in their entirety. That’s a boat -no scratch that- aircraft carrier full o’ crazy right there!

  6. 6
    JamiSings says:

    Not all of it. If you go to to PBB’s review -

    http://www.amazon.com/review/R19QNUXL1OH5SI/ref=cm_cr_dp_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0505527626&nodeID=283155

    You can still find some but you have to click the links to unhide them. I couldn’t resist snarking back at Sams. She hasn’t bothered to call me a “wannabe writer” yet.

  7. 7
    runswithscissors says:

    Ooh, I third the love for India Grey. 

    The first book of hers I read was called something like ‘At the Argentinian Billionaire’s Bidding’ (it’s Mills and Boon so could have been a variation on those words … the tycoon’s unwilling mistress … the playboy’s forced love slave – but definitely Argentinian).  It was head and shoulders above any other M&B I’ve read for years and sent me speedily in search of her back catalogue.  I’ve been very impressed by the consistently high standard of writing.  She writes a really good tortured hero.  (Tortured for reasons other than Angry Boners.)

  8. 8
    darlynne says:

    Thanks for the reminder about Carla Cassidy’s response to the review of her book. She is terrific.

  9. 9
    Amanda in Baltimore says:

    For the past few years I’ve been reading mostly fantasy and mystery novels. When I do dip into romances, they’ve been comic romances or Mary Balogh. I really loves me some Mary Balogh.
    When did Harlequin start titling their books with short descriptions of the characters? Is that new? I don’t remember it from my Harlequin romance teens.
    Those India Grey books may be fab, but the titles alone would probably cause me to pass by them on the library shelf.
    I can see some humorous possibilities for title though:

    Dilettante Playboy, Unwed Mother

    Texas Large-Animal Veterinarian
    Virtuous Pre-school Teacher

    Angry Ex-SEAL, Suspicious Schoolmarm

  10. 10
    Ash says:

    Whoa… just… whoa. Persecution complex, anyone? I think the “foot” in the mouth has been effectively replaced with a “shotgun”.

    By the way, page 32 of the Amazon comments tragedy shows a copy/paste of her “plea to her readers to go click on all the NICE reviews so the unfair bad ones will go away”.

  11. 11
    Laurel says:

    Oh. My. Wow.

    I have done maybe two book reviews on Amazon because I do read them and I don’t pay much attention to either the “best book ever” or the “not worth the paper it’s published on” reviews. It’s nice to have some opinions that aren’t industry promoted before I spend my money and usually you can tell which are which.

    Of the two reviews I’ve posted, one was responded to by the author’s husband. It was a good review but not glowing. He was a complete gentleman, proud of his wife’s accomplishment, and thanked me for my time and thoughts. All this while he was disappointed I didn’t lovelovelove the book.

    Damn skippy I’m buying her next book. In hardback, most likely.

  12. 12
    Ros says:

    Thank you!  I just went to download Powerful Italian, Penniless Housekeeper and spent a blissful hour or so with one of the nicest heroes and heroines I can think of.  Perfect comfort reading on a snowy December evening.

    Incidentally did you know that today is Do Nothing But Read Day?  http://donothingbutreadday.blogspot.com/

  13. 13
    Ros says:

    Duh – I read the rec and didn’t notice the coupon.  May have to go and buy India Grey’s back catalogue to make good use of it.  ;)

  14. 14
    Trai says:

    I have to say, I wrote a review of a romance on my blog recently and I did have some criticisms for it. The author herself responded very nicely and addressed my concerns; I was pleased to see she wasn’t at all offended. Sad to see that some authors can’t take the criticism and have to respond meanly.

  15. 15

    Maybe I stay buried in my hole too much, but I don’t see the point of commenting on a review on Amazon.  If I’m missing something that makes that a good idea, I wish someone would apply a cluestick to my noggin.

    I’m self published and haven’t gotten a bunch of reviews on Amazon.  When I got one for one of my books, I was tickled that someone took the time to post the review.  Instead of responding on Amazon, I blogged (favorably) about the review over on my site.  Maybe I should have responded to the reviewer to say “thank you.”

    I know I’d never respond by attacking the reviewer.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion, after all.  And any book that only generated favorable opinions would likely be a pretty bland read. 

    Responding to an Amazon review must be just another of the many internet phenomena that I’ve missed. But after seeing this exchange, my hole seems like a pretty nice spot.

  16. 16
    Cat S. says:

    I can see some humorous possibilities for title though:

    Dilettante Playboy, Unwed Mother

    Texas Large-Animal Veterinarian
    Virtuous Pre-school Teacher

    Angry Ex-SEAL, Suspicious Schoolmarm

    Hey Amanda, the last one has already been written!  It’s a Sherrilyn Kenyon short story in a BAD anthology.  Would have been a much better title…

  17. 17
    JamiSings says:

    Best part of the whole Sams fiasco? Neil Gaiman has been Twittering about it. I wonder if Sams realizes she’s now a laughing stock?

  18. 18
    Amanda in Baltimore says:

    Cat S.

    Ha ha!  We could re-name lots of things with that style.

    Pride and Prejudice – Snobby Nobleman, Pert Gentlewoman

    Wuthering Heights – Social Climbing Upstart, Lunatic Lady

    Huck Finn – Illiterate Boy, Kindly Slave, and a long, long River

  19. 19
    Bronwyn says:

    Here’s a link to Google’s cached version of the comments before the author deleted them all: http://74.125.155.132/search?hl=en&q=cache:www.amazon.com/review/R1BA0D6J2GS59&btnG=Search

  20. 20
    Faellie says:

    The India Grey book sounds good.  My problem is that the excerpt describes the heroine as fuller-figured, and spends plenty of time talking about her weight and need to diet, while the cover shows a slim-line model in the sort of silky, strappy dress that would look dreadful on anyone with a BMI of more than about 20.

    Harlequin needs to get its act together on this.  I’ll be interested to see what the Mills and Boon cover does.

    received46 – pounds in weight more than the woman on that cover, probably.

  21. 21
    Tammy says:

    1.  Author’s friends, relatives and fangirls populate the review section with overwhelmingly positive reviews.
    2.  Author’s so-called competitors and ‘mean girls’ counter by writing overwhelmingly negative reviews.
    (One and two may be reversed.)
    3.  Eyes roll, and wtfery ensues. 

    This scenario is played out over and over again on Amazon, though rarely does the author a) actually engage and b) flame out in such a spectacular manner.

    I rarely bother to read Amazon reviews anymore.  It takes too much time and effort to wade through the flagrant promo and the petty crap to get to the reviews that provide some value .  Reading the upteenth five-star review regurgitating the plot points, followed by some variation of “This is teh BEST BOOK EVAH!” doesn’t cut it for me, dudes.  I fear that so many authors using Amazon reviews as a promo tool has completely diluted the value of the review section. 

    As authors, we’ve pissed in the pool.

  22. 22

    What Laurel said. I’ve been socialized enough in my thirty years to realize hardly never does nobodies agree with anybodies else, so I never expect my feelings about a book to match up with reviewers’. And true, you don’t know where those anonymous online reviews are coming from. It reminds me of those cover blurbs from vaguely titled “bestselling” authors, the ones pockmarked with ellipses that read like:

    This book…blew…me away.

    How do we know the real quote wasn’t:

    This book was so wretched, I blew my brains out all over the den. Then the paramedics arrived and took me away to the hospital and luckily it was just a flesh wound. Do not read The Angry Boner Man and the Plucky Debutante.

    Now excuse me, I have to go ask my mom to write my next review. Don’t worry, she’s totally unbiased.

  23. 23

    @ Faellie,

    I’ll be interested to see what the Mills and Boon cover does.

    It’s the same cover image, just closer up: http://software.libredigital.com/bookrdr/dp-live/BookBrowse.html?a=R7quhUKFywfd4BIEr6CYasfPv6PrLNwM4fpm+KKVNwGBX7gs0vcFao6No55/Y+8Oq/ucpBelkeV2wz/FpEmuiaZBztk1BuIeBIO7VVPi8ylehudI33D7sO2D7NBGn0oB&z=hmb

    But actually, the woman in the picture reminds me a lot of India herself—she’s absolutely beautiful, and a really good writer. Her book Mistress: Hired for the Billionaire’s Pleasure won this year’s Romance Prize from the RNA in Britain. Nice to see her getting a nod here, Sarah!

    India has a great web site with a link to her blog, where she talks about writing this book in some detail: http://www.indiagrey.com/news-and-events.html

  24. 24

    Oops, that link to the image doesn’t seem to be working too well.

    Let’s try this one to India’s blog entry showing the image…
    http://indiagrey.blogspot.com/2009/12/group-hug.html

  25. 25
    MelB says:

    To Cara McKenna, I agree with you! You post was too funny. You never know what those ellipses stand for and maybe I should have my mom write my next review.

    As a writer, I was appalled at the comments from the author on Amazon. People are entitled to their opinions and it sure sucks when someone doesn’t like your story, but leave it alone and move on. Be thankful that someone noticed your book, purchased it and read it then took the time to write about it. Like Carla Cassidy said, “any publicity is better than no publicity.”

  26. 26
    Shelly says:

    I’d like to say a big thanks for the India Grey headsup – I downloaded it as my first ever e-book. It was a lovely read and just what I needed (housebound with horrible respiratory infection 2 days out from Christmas and with heaps of stuff left to do). I fear though that my credit card will get a bit of a bashing!

    human73 – here’s hoping it won’t take 73 hours for me to feel human again.

  27. 27
    sheriguy says:

    oh no the post on Amazon had the diatribe deleted. Anyone else has it ?

  28. 28
    Karen says:

    I’ve been catching up on my reading this weekend…Maybe the cover with the pants mistletoe guy could be used to dress up The Romance of Proctology.

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