Links with Yay, Nay, and Something Else Entirely

Yay!

From Kristan Higgins: Happy Ever After cliches from movies. My hair is curly and wild when I’m in love! You have a secret cabin (Yes, what is UP with the secret cabin hidden in the woods as a shorthand for secret sensitivity [he likes trees!] and need for isolation [poor lonly man]?)! This cracked me up.

More Yay!

From Rhea, a link to Sarah Rees Brennan, YA Author, who does a summary of the kickass heroines she’s found in romance of late:

Goddess of the Hunt by Tessa Dare

LUCY: Hello Jeremy here I am at your door!
JEREMY: What are you doing here, Lucy?
LUCY: BRINGING THE MACK!
JEREMY: As a gentleman in times of yore at a respectable household inhabited only my best friend and his little sister, I was not expecting the mack.
LUCY: Okay, did the mack work? Because I’m practising for another dude, so any tips are welcome, over here.
JEREMY: Lucy please! I may swoon.
LUCY: Oooooh, so the mack worked really well?

While that particular book didn’t work for me, the opening scene is a hell of a power punch, and I am going to use “BRINGING THE MACK” at every opportunity.

Nay!

In other news: the Inkwell Bookstore, located in Cape Cod, Massachusetts, is reporting the news that Harlequin has launched self pub Harlequin Horizons with the following statement:

Having grown bored with simply warping the romantic fantasy worlds of their reality-deprived readership, Harlequin has teamed up with print-on-demand publisher Author Solutions to eff with their readers’ writing fantasies as well.

O RLY? I hate when my romantic fantasy world is warped by bookstores who denigrate the readers of one of the most profitable genres of the bookselling industry.

Thanks to Carolyn for the heads up.

Yay and Nay and Something Else Entirely!

Comics Alliance offers up the worst sex scene in comics, from a masterpiece of WTFery called “Rawbone” which “is entirely about pirates raping each other until they die.”

The descriptions and dialogue (NSFWOMGWTFHELP) are so bad, you think it’s a joke. But the parodies at the end are even better. You throbbing fish, you. Rwor.

So here’s my question: in the battle between Your vagina is haunted and heave that harpoon hard home, which wins the title for Worst Goddam Thing Ever?

 

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  1. 1
    sam says:

    I have to give the prize for the Worst Goddam Thing Ever to the haunted vagina. At least the heaving harpoon had me hooting – ahem – with laughter.

  2. 2
    Ana says:

    Haunted vagina! Please, it’s genius!

  3. 3
    JamiSings says:

    The Haunted Vagina thing makes so little sense that I have to vote for it as the Worse Thing Ever. At least the pirate rape comic book makes sense in it’s publishing as there’s a big market out there for comic book porn. I mean – hello – Bondage Fairies and their creator Kondom. But Tarot – haunted vaginas – who the heck did the writer have to sleep with to get that published?

  4. 4
    teshara says:

    I’m still getting over the first link.

    Duke of Badboy?

    ahahahahaha!!

  5. 5
    kinseyholley says:

    YES! IIRC, Chris’ Invincible Superblog is the blog that did a long, hilarious exposition on why Rob Liefeld is the worst comic book illustrator ever.  I’m not a comic geek, but occasionally I get into graphic novels.  Reading the Umbrella Academy right now, and it’s fun.

    outside65: It’s 65 degrees outside! Yay! Off to the park…

  6. 6

    Ooh, that Written On Your Skin book referenced in the first link sounds like great fun. I think the Bitchery has just succeeded in making me snag another romance ebook. ;) Go Bitchery! Evil blonde geniuses FTW!

    (carefully making no note of the fact that she is, in fact, blonde)

  7. 7
    Christina says:

    Haunted Vagina still wins, though the Harpoon bit is utterly terrifying.

  8. 8
    Jennifer says:

    OMG… the haunted vagina wins hands down.

    however, the parodies on the pirate comic had me snorting my tea and laughing so loud my significant other came into the room to check on me.

  9. 9
    scribblingirl says:

    okay, i didn’t even know that they had sex scenes in comics…no flames please LOL

    haunted vagina :)

  10. 10
    Kat Sheridan says:

    I don’t believe I have ever commented on your blog before (though I lurk like a fiend), but I have just snorked my Manhatten slushie through my nose at the sound effect on the haunted vagina thing and had to tell you. OMG, I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in ages (and at the same time was seriously squicked out by the whole thing). WOW.

  11. 11
    Cora says:

    The saddest thing about the pirate rape comic is that the ridiculously bad dialogue was written by Jamie Delano, who used to be a good comic writer once upon a time.

    It’s days like this that I’m glad I quit reading comics.

    Spamword: filled45 – Our harpoon thrusting pirate filled 45 virgins with his se(a)men before passing out.

  12. 12

    I have long since learned not to drink anything whilst reading your blog, and this post is an excellent example of why. 

    Harlequin vanity press = EPIC FAIL.  Are they on Editors and Preditors yet?  Whatever happened to, if a publisher wants you to pay to publish your book, run, run far, run fast, and don’t forget to fart at them as you depart? 

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I must find ways to work “BRINGING THE MACK!” into everyday conversation.

  13. 13
    Elysa says:

    I just read the profiles of the employees of the Inkwell Bookstore….and ooh, the cognitive dissonance, it burns!!!

    There are a couple obsessed with manga and comics (shades of virgins living in mama’s basement), and a few churchy, quilty, knitting, beading ladies, who are themselves often members of the puffy paint kitten sweatshirt brigade, as I well know because I am one of them—except I am a woman who can and does get laid on a regular basis, and I don’t own a kitten sweatshirt.  Neither group is known for having lots of hawt sexxoring aktion.

    (Yes, the above paragraph needs editing, but I have had a glass of wine and have gone all right brained.)

    I would think these people would be rather tired of being judged and would extend the same courtesy to other people. 

    type, delete, type, delete….

  14. 14
    Sybylla says:

    Which wins the title?  Well, “Heave that harpoon hard home” is definitely much worse from a writing point of view…

    BUT

    “You have to get out of here!  Your vagina is haunted!” to my mind is much worse because it will be forever associated with the unspeakably even more misogynistic “SLIT!” of the subsequent Jack-the-Ripper-ing.  whydidiclickthatlinkohgodwhywhywhy

  15. 15
    J.M. says:

    The Inkwell Bookstore responds:
    You’d think that the regular readers of a romance novel website billing itself as ‘Smart Bitches, Trashy Books’ would have some sort of sense of humor about themselves and their genre of choice, yet judging by the sudden surge of self-important, self-righteous responses (and two death threats!) popping up in our comments section and email inbox, there seems to be a very vocal minority that does not.
    A quick, cursory glance around our site might’ve tipped these folks off to the fact that WE’RE A HUMOR SITE. We poke fun at EVERY GENRE, EVERY TYPE OF READER, and more often than not, OURSELVES! In the past week alone, we’ve called ourselves “failures,” “mediocre lovers,” “bitches,” “impotent,” “bitter old a-holes,” and “backwoods, book-loving belligerents.” And these self-described “trashy book”-reading “bitches” are getting pissed off over a broad bit of b.s. like “reality-deprived”?
    To quote SB Sarah, “O RLY?”
    If you don’t like what we’re doing, don’t go to our website. It’s really that easy. But to threaten members of our staff with physical violence? That’s unacceptable, and far more offensive than any verbal slight.

    (A side note to the SBTB crew: Although we are posting this in your comments section, we are in no way blaming you for the responses of your readers. We love your site, have linked to it in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.)

  16. 16
    RStewie says:

    The haunted vagina definintely has it in this showdown.  These raping pirates are pretty comical (hur!) compared to that.

  17. 17
    Chris Sims says:

    YES! IIRC, Chris’ Invincible Superblog is the blog that did a long, hilarious exposition on why Rob Liefeld is the worst comic book illustrator ever.

    Unfortunately, that wasn’t me—it was the guys at Progressive Boink, if we’re thinking of the same post—but I DID write both the Haunted Vagina piece and the article about Rawbone linked above, so thanks for reading!

  18. 18
    kinseyholley says:

    Chris: you have a new fan in my husband, who is a former comic geek.

    I just bought Umbrella Academy, the first graphic novel I’ve actually read from start to finish. He was proud of me.

  19. 19
    Felicia Smith says:

    ‘BRINGING THE MACK’  FTW!!

    I’m SO going to use this phrase in every sentence I can.. LOL

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