Just Futzing

Update:

I’m Really Steaming Stupid when it comes to RSS feeds, and many of you have reported a problem with yours. Please try the following URL if yours has stopped working. I’m so sorry to ask you to resubscribe, but I’m at a loss as to what to try next.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/smartbitchestrashybooks/wRgd

And now: back to your previously scheduled man-titty.

I’m attempting to correct a problem with the RSS feed, so don’t mind me.

Here – have a romance cover:

image

Hey diddle diddle, that man has no whizzle!

Categorized:

General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    orangehands says:

    There is something about his right breast (though the left is off too) that disturbs me so much I didn’t even notice the non-whizzle. Maybe he’s just hanging low…really, really low. Or has been combined with a woman (that explains the breasts too).

  2. 2
    Miri says:

    I have to agree with you there!  Too much hair and definition of wrongly proportioned man titty to be really comfortable with this picture.  Secondly it looks like he’s “feeling” himself but having a hard time getting “it” up.  This cover is wrong on so many levels!!!  Also, as many of you have stated in past posts, leave a little something to the imagination!  The brain is the sexiest part of the body, well you know what I mean, and I like to think of what is left unseen behind the layer of clothing.  Maybe that is just a woman’s point of view???  Finally, I could never take this book to work with me without a book cover and then everyone would “know” the kind of book I’m reading anyway which completely negates the use of a book cover!  What is a girl to do?

  3. 3
    Pangolin says:

    Let’s hope that tiny wolf leaping at his chest is a trained plastic surgeon who can fix his odd anatomy!

  4. 4
    xssa annella says:

    i was admiring the picture (near sightedness can be a blessing at times) and noticed weird lines on his abs. it looks stitches. i think he’s a zombie. ta da/ mystery solved.
    also, i wondered whyteh witch against the moon was flying from left to right and headed downward until i realized it’s a wolf leaping up from right to left. (agian. near sightedness. the blurry world is not worth look at.) then, i noticed this bright light at the top. the very top of the cover. his hair is on fire! oh, no, wait. agianst the moon lit dark, of sorts, there is sun on his hair. bright afternoon sun.
    and did anyone notice the horizon? it’s a laser. is he supposed to be posing agasint a backdrop of moonlit ocean? no, it’s the line in space seprating good taste from crap. he found it.

  5. 5
    JamiSings says:

    Eh, it’s just Jame Gumb minus his skin suit on.

    Paging Dr. Lecter. Dr. Lecter to SBTB please.

  6. 6
    Sail says:

    Ooh, ooh!  While you’re working on that RSS feed, is there any way you could fix it so the entire posts shows and you don’t have to click through to read the whole thing?  I do my blog reading on my phone nearly exclusively, and with no 3G, I hardly ever have time/patience to pull up a new webpage.  It would be so nice to have the whole post!

  7. 7
    quichepup says:

    Those nipples are looking at me.

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Lindz says:

    Hey diddle diddle, that man has no whizzle!

    Or else a low set dong…

  10. 10
    Melissa says:

    Looks like he’s tucked his… uh… tail between his legs….

    (Oh, sweet goddess of irony, my keyword is “length 56”.  Wishing there was length of 5 or 6… hm…)

  11. 11
    Lisa G says:

    Oh Me, Oh My, You’re About To Make Him Cry… and me too.

    Oh Gosh, Oh Gee, He’s Lost His Wee Wee!

    I’m sorry, I’m soo bad!

  12. 12
    Brooks*belle says:

    Here: have a romance cover:

    Snort!

    “Oh where of where has my you-know-what gone…oh where or where can it be?…..”

  13. 13
    Meg says:

    He looks kind of computer-generated to me.  And his man-titties are clenched up in a way that make me cringe.

    Magic word: really22.  His dong is really 22 inches…it’s just hung low.

    That, or the tiny wolf ate it and is making its moonlit getaway.

  14. 14
    Tina C. says:

    xssa annella said:

    i noticed this bright light at the top. the very top of the cover. his hair is on fire! oh, no, wait. agianst the moon lit dark, of sorts, there is sun on his hair. bright afternoon sun.

    You know, I was so distracted by wondering why he’s tucking himself away like that guy from Silence of the Lambs and why the tiny little wolf was leaping for his chest and why anyone would put this on a cover, making it impossible to ever take it to work (or anywhere in public)—I never even noticed that there are two moons!  Is this set on a different planet or something?

  15. 15
    militaryspouse says:

    One word:  flacid

  16. 16
    Carin says:

    You know that video they have where they show an average woman being made up to billboard beautiful, including all the photoshopping, etc?  I want to see that for this book cover!  I really want to see how the image started and what they did to make it look like this.  Because along the way there has got to be something better than where they stopped.

  17. 17
    Zealot says:

    “Moonlight Madness” – The blazing hot story of sporting good store mannequin’s in love.

    Hunter Bob in Outdoor Menswear looks fine in the newest LL Bean gear, but out of it….something vital is missing and Camper Bernice in Coleman Stoves and BBQs has noticed. After the sun sets, the Mannequin’s get busy, and unless Bob does something fast, Bernice will be stolen away by the sweaty charms of Lance in Work Out and Gym Wear. Join Bob and his stuffed wonder dog, Taxidermius Rex as he seeks that which the Acme Mannequin and Floor Model Company failed to provide, but which nature, Bernice and his manly urges demands.

    After hunting the same stuffed elk for the last 3 years, can a nocturnal adventure to The Pleasure Chest Sex Shoppe next door be so daunting?

  18. 18
    Christine says:

    Is it just me or does it look like his chest hair was brushed to swirl around his nipple?  Because that’s just wrong.

  19. 19
    mingqi says:

    i agree with some people here: his chest is pretty disturbing and more noticeable that his missing wiener.

  20. 20
    min says:

    Man, oh man. He really needs to sue his plastic surgeon. No, wizzle, odd stitches down his middle…

  21. 21
    junkfoodmonkey says:

    Good old Changeling Press. They can always be relied upon to produce something to completely freak people out.

    The poor man has clearly been in a horrible accident, and now his only pleasure in life is watching his pet mini-wolf playing in its hamster ball.

  22. 22
    Kendra says:

    LOL Thanks ah um I think.

  23. 23
    Kalen Hughes says:

    Those nipples are looking at me.

    Ditto. *shudder*

  24. 24
    Lisa richards says:

    His tum tum looks like he’s had a C-section—Yuck!!!

  25. 25

    Why is there a praying mantis in the moon?

    Curious…

  26. 26
    Barbara says:

    Hrm, the RSS feed isn’t working for me.

    well, and neither is that man-titty.
    ew!

  27. 27

    I’m with Jami and Tina—I immediately got a Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs shiver down my spine. Although as a designer, I’m far more disturbed by the title font than the anatomy.

  28. 28

    Hey diddle, diddle, the man with no fiddle,
    A wolf jumps over the moon,
    The Romance Readers scoffed to see such a sight,
    and the cover was lampooned.

  29. 29
    mulberry says:

    Zealot, I want to read your story! Srsly!

    Keyword- him69
    Um, no chance of a 69 with him.

  30. 30
    MelB says:

    That wolf looks like it’s flying home to roost in the man’s right nipple. The title is apropos for the crazy cover.

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