Caption That Cover: Collarbone Edition

There’s this guy, see, and he really, really likes clavicles. And the subtext of romance doesn’t examine enough the intricate allure of the collarbone – so his deepest desire is to highlight this really, really hawt body part.

That’s the only reason I can come up with for the following reuse of stock imagery. I mean, maybe there really isn’t that much stock photography in the world that’s any good.

First: Collarbone and Castle!

image

Not bad. But the collarbone vampire really, really looks much better in blue. See?

image

image

So what’s really going on here- aside from grievous use of Photoshop and overuse of one stock image, I mean?

It’s time for Caption That Cover – Collarbone Edition! What’s he thinking – or better yet, what’s she thinking? Leave your caption in the comments in the next 24 hours, and the best one as judged by me will win a $25 gift certificate to the bookstore of the winner’s choosing. Feel free to vote in the comments for your favorite caption to try to sway me. Winner announced on Friday.

Whether it’s a clavicle fetish or he’s hunting for her third nipple, something very odd is going on here, clearly.

Categorized:

General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Tina C. says:

    “Mmmmm…I love having my neck nibbled!  Oooo, I think he’s moving lower?  Yes, lower!  Um, is he snoring?  Okay, that’s definitely snoring!  Motherfu…..”

  2. 2
    JaniceG says:

    “Only one other couple left to outlast in the dance marathon and then we win the new Miata. Must… stay… awake…”

  3. 3
    JaniceG says:

    SHE: “Mmmm, lower…, lower…, just a little lower so the hickey won’t show at work tomorrow”

  4. 4
    KatherineB says:

    Vehxhation’s quest for his life-mate was finally culminated! As the beautiful Pompon swooned in his manly arms, he snogged that which made her his and his only – her Wishbone of Endowments! Vehxhation growled passionately and closed his eyes in frenzied delirium as his Vihgor swelled in response to her Nahrcoleptic Charms….

  5. 5
    AM says:

    Does this guy make my collarbone look big?

  6. 6
    SheaLuna says:

    KatherineB… I nearly spewed coffee all over my screen!  That is sheer AHWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Love it.  Particularly poignant was the swelling Vihgor.

  7. 7

    Him, thinking: Dude, chicks get so moist for that Twilight crap. Alls you gotta do to score is buy some dark eye makeup and act all like, whoa, I’m so moody and like totally hot for your neck, baby. Am I right? Fellas?

  8. 8

    Eddie Munster, all grown up, enjoys a midnight snack.

  9. 9
    sableheart says:

    Her: Thank God for all those yoga classes.

    Him: I think I smell something burning… are you burning up for me?

  10. 10
    Amy says:

    Her: Honey, will you take this necklace off me . . . I can’t reach.

    Him: Yes darling . . . with my teeth!

  11. 11
    Barbara says:

    KatherineB!

    ROTFLASTC!
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    (rolling on the floor laughing and scaring the cats)

  12. 12

    Keep it up, ladies, my keyboard could use a shower.

  13. 13
    SugarSpice says:

    The Collarbone Series: One in every color!

    Also, if we follow the progression of colors, the next cover is obv. just going to be white with some blue lines that look like collarbones…

  14. 14

    “How many more covers to we have to hold this position for? My neck is killing me!”

  15. 15
    Brooks*belle says:

    Breaking Dawn

    …She was his and she was very fragile.

  16. 16
    Diatryma says:

    Wrong bone!

  17. 17
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    Find yourself tired, dragging, sagging, lagging?  Has your get-up-and-go got up and went?  Try Invigoro (TM) the only FDA-approved pick-me-up with hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals to make you see the same scene in all different colors!  Side effects vary and may include headache, nausea, vomiting, erectile dysfunction and an almost overpowering urge for recreational cannibalism.  Do not use if you are pregnant, nursing, may become pregnant, or are contemplating activity.  Ask your doctor about Invigoro (TM) today.

  18. 18
    Lotus says:

    “If she’ll just stay asleep for a minute more, I’ll be able to complete her collarbone implant surgery and publish my paper, ‘Naked neck surgery and why teeth are the instrument of choice’.  THAT’ll show those open-shirt scalpel jocks!”

  19. 19
    Maureen says:

    Lady, I’m not falling for you, I’m just narcoleptic!

  20. 20

    I vote for KatherineB. That was hilarious!!

  21. 21
    Scrin says:

    Her: Oh, God, I hope he doesn’t actually bite my collarbone. I’m having to wrestle around with him for this photoshoot, and here he is fixating on my clavicle. A kiss wouldn’t be so bad, but what if the only thing people saw of this last half-hour was me having my collarbone gnawed on by this doofus? The only way it could get worse is if that picture ended up on books with titles making fun of it, like ‘Traitor’s Kiss’ or “Delicious’ or, God forbid, ‘Phantom Pleasures’. Why don’t they just play it straight and say, ‘In which the cover model got let down by a tool who kept trying to chew on her collarbone during the shoot?

    Him: OM NOM NOM NOM

  22. 22
    Scrin says:

    Later——-

    Her:
    I’ll keep my face turned from the camera so at least I can deny this to friends and family.

    Him:
    OH! Ma chere! I am so een lov wiz yoou! OH! See ‘ow I chew so lovingly upon your shouldair! NOM, my chewing would say if only it could make a sound! NOM, NOM, NOM NOM NOM!

  23. 23
    RS says:

    “Mmmmm…I love having my neck nibbled!  Oooo, I think he’s moving lower?  Yes, lower!  Um, is he snoring?  Okay, that’s definitely snoring!  Motherfu…..”

    thread over in one.

  24. 24
    bigred says:

    Her:  “Did he just find that chocolate sauce I spilled on myself?  Damn, I was saving that for later.”

    Him:  “Ooh, she is delicious…”

  25. 25
    Kelly S says:

    Her: Honey, you’re getting kind of heavy and my back is starting to hurt.  Could you move off me?  Aw, crap, is he asleep again?!

    Him: (gentle snoring and soon a slight drool)

  26. 26
    Galadriel says:

    “It was rough being a vampire with narcolepsy. Unfortunately for Lord Richard Wimple Bludvillieres IV (better known to his friends as ‘Bob the Toothless’), what should have brought his victims ‘the little death’ more often ended in ‘the little sleep’.”

  27. 27
    Rebecca says:

    This is slightly off topic – in that I mention the clavicle, but I do not refer to the multiple use of stock images. And, I don’t mean to hijack the thread…

    I just want to share with the room that Gary Lightbody from Snow Patrol may nibble, lick, or stroke my clavicle anytime he feels like it. I’m just in the mood for a pop crush right now and he suits my mood admirably.

    Their new song “Just Say Yes”, while not by any means groundbreaking, to me describes desire really well. Actually, I think that he describes yearning really really well. And his voice is lovely.

  28. 28
    bookishgirl says:

    How can he tell she’s into it?  She’s got a real collar-boner.

  29. 29
    Kate Pearce says:

    Him “Note to self-must get spare ribs for dinner tonight”

  30. 30
    SonomaLass says:

    “What was that elusive fragrance wafting from her skin?  A hint of lavender, perhaps? Or was it the scent of autumn leaves?  Or was it, perhaps … food?  Yes, that was it—this feisty woman that he couldn’t get our of his mind, this plucky girl who bravely tilted her chin at him, this bright spunky spitfire smelled exactly like … pancakes.”

    (with thanks to Maili, Elyssa Papa and Zoe Archer for yesterday’s Twitter discussion of annoying heroine descriptors)

↑ Back to Top