Candy: You know, the way those boys are looking at the baby? Not cute. I imagine veal farmers looking at their little boxed-in baby cows in much the same way. These guys are not contemplating what a blessing that kid is. Theses guys are contemplating whether they should bust out the fava beans and Chianti.
Sarah: They say women and men can’t relate, but that poor man right there, he understands our pain. His stretched out cranium is like mommy-belly. Women can’t fit in to their pre-pregnancy jeans; he can’t put his Stetson on right since baby Athena sprung fully formed from his forehead.
Candy: Damn, those pleated pants are FIERCE. And look, just because the FTM hasn’t quite finished transitioning yet is no reason to call him “bad.” Tsk.
Sarah: You’ve seen the trifecta of hero, version 1.0, with mullet, sword, and shirt undone but still tucked in.
Behold: the trifecta of hero, v. 2.0, more badder than bad: mullet, contrast trim pima polo shirt, and pleated khakis. Rwor. Just wait until the Fabio covers roll out with this getup.
Candy: Wait, is this a modern-day retelling of the birth of the Minotaur? Kiiiiiinky.
Sarah: “Hey. At least I’m not veal.”