Caption That Cover: Devon Edition

Have a look at this new Ellora’s Cave cover. Is there a woman coming out of his arse? Does he have bigger breasts than I do? And why is his head so small? Is it inversely proportionate to the size of his more different other head?

It’s time for caption that cover! Give your best caption, re-title, or commentary, and the best one gets a $10 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choosing. You’ve got 48 hours. Feel free to comment on which ones you think are best, even if you don’t leave your own. Get ready, get set, and go!

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  1. 1
    Silver James says:

    I Am My Own Twin Who is My Secret Belly Dancer.

    That’s the best I can do this early in the morning with no coffee and on the way to the surgery center for one last time (we hope) for The Only’s eye. TGIF, Bitches!

    spam word: born82 – why yes, I think 82 of these covers are born every day.

  2. 2

    Does this hat make my butt look big?

    Irrational Photoshop

    That’s about all my brain can come up with at this late hour of the (Downunder) night.

  3. 3

    Hey, baby, rub my ass and a genie comes out!

  4. 4
    HeatherK says:

    Her: (sounding very exasperated) Oh not this again. Why can’t he ever get the “protection” right?

    Him: Huh? What’s wrong with my hat?

    Impractical Protection. Who knew the phrase “use protection” could be taken so many ways…

    Okay, I’m super sick and blame the medications for that one.
    Spam Word: Easy 31, oh how I wish it were it were so.

  5. 5
    AgTigress says:

    What a baffling illustration.  Are hard hats fetish objects these days?  I can’t think why else he would be wearing one while otherwise naked.  Though I suppose he could have work boots on as well.

  6. 6
    Laura (in PA) says:

    OW! My head hurts from popping out your butt!

    or

    Hey, the only required wear at work is a hard hat and steel toed boots.

  7. 7
    Gail says:

    Yes honey, but the naked hot guy over there has a nipple ring.

  8. 8
    DS says:

    Irrational Arousal, Indecent Exposure.  Note the daylight hour and the building behind him. Maybe he is eying a hot cop approaching him with a ticket book out.  Oh, buddy, you are so going to have to register as sex offender for the next 20 years.

  9. 9
    kelly says:

    “See woman? I told you that was just a wrench in my pocket and I WASN’T happy to see you. Next time maybe you’ll let me keep my pants on until your brother comes home…. “

  10. 10
    junkfoodmonkey says:

    Today on Oprah: Short-bodied men with fragile skulls and the stippers who love them.

  11. 11
    Carin says:

    Is she breaking her own neck?  Amazing… her “shirt” is being held up by her tan lines.

    He’s saying, “No, no, I didn’t bring my tool belt.  Today I’m using my tools of Luuuuurve.”

  12. 12
    Courtney Lewis says:

    Man of Steel, or How I Found my My Naked Carpenter While Traipsing Around in my Underwear by Winter Goosebumps

  13. 13
    Amanda M says:

    Him: *sniff**sniff* I smell danger. Let me dash away to get my lucky danger hat.

    Her: I think that may be my armpit.

  14. 14
    Eloise says:

    De-lurking to say that that is *not* an illustration. That is a PSA about the dangers of Photoshop Addiction.

    It’s a serious problem, people.

    Also, could someone patiently explain to me, the new kid, what all those words on the cover mean? I can’t if I’m more baffled by the image or the text (or the fonts).

  15. 15
    Lori S. says:

    Hard Hat Ass Genie

  16. 16

    Hard Hat, Hard Everywhere: The Deconstruction of a Hero by Professor Sarah Frantz

  17. 17
    RStewie says:

    My Hammer, Let Me Show You It

    Her:  I’m back here.  …who ARE you talking to??

  18. 18
    Rachel R. says:

    “I don’t need you to set me up with a blind date; I can fart my own girlfriend, thank you very much.”

  19. 19
    Cathy says:

    Bob the Builder has his first wet dream.

    (BTW, I love that this line is called “Twilight.”  I can imagine the Twi-cover reading “if Mormon’s read erotic romance, Bella would love this book!”)

  20. 20
    Christina says:

    To go spelunking in her cave, he’d need a hard hat.

  21. 21
    Zumie says:

    Can ‘irrational’ really describe an erection consisting of a woman popping up out of the wrong side?

    eh, it’s early.

  22. 22
    Tabithaz says:

    All I can think of is Bitch stole my nipples in the vein of Marion Barry’s “Bitch set me up.”  BECAUSE THAT MAN HAS NO NIPPLES.  It’s like, “whoa, male nipples, too gay!”

    Also, I totally think they should sell marionberry cupcakes with “Bitch set me up” in icing on them.  Brilliant, I tell you.

  23. 23
    Laura (in PA) says:

    Maybe it should be called “Irrational Dress Code” instead.

  24. 24
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    “When you play with MY erector set, every zone is a hard hat zone!”

    (On another note, you’d think somebody who went this crazy with Photoshop could at least have got rid of the woman’s tan lines.)

  25. 25
    Sabrina says:

    This cover is “Under Construction”!

    Seriously – it’s like photoshop gone wild!

  26. 26
    SheaLuna says:

    I’m gasping in delight over Impractical Protection.  Loving it!

    I’m beyond baffled, however, as to why the man is stark staring nekked and yet is wearing… A HARD HAT? 

    And what’s with the girl?  Is she having a fit?  Washing her hair (Herbal Essence anyone?)?

    Hmmm… Hard Essence, perhaps?  Though that sounds like a gay porno.  Then again, the cover…

  27. 27
    rebyj says:

    I pout nao! My butt is right thar but she has nothin to poke it with!

  28. 28
    Maili says:

    This will sound truly juvenile, but Men at Work: Farting My Love.

  29. 29
    Tina C. says:

    Robert “Big John” Johnson (now known as “Bob”) sadly learned the hard way that there were certain professions you should never do naked—even if you are wearing your OSHA-mandated hardhat:
    1. Fry cook
    2. Lion Tamer
    3. Lumberjack
    4. Construction worker

    Trixi A’Lur was the most requested stripper on the bachelor party circuit until the terrible stripper pole incident took her legs.

    When their eyes looked off into the distance as they stared at nothing in particularly, they completely missed meeting each other at physical therapy—making their arousal that much more….

    IRRATIONAL

  30. 30
    Tamara Hogan says:

    “Poster Child for Microcephaly”

    I know that a some romance novel covers are laughably bad, but seriously now – is the artist trying to get their own post over at Photoshop Disasters?

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