Candy at Wordstock Festival events on Saturday and Sunday

Dear Internet: I miss you. So very, very much. I’ve started a half-dozen posts (Katiebabs, I’m still working on finishing the cri de coeur—though cri de singe fâché might be more accurate—that’s my review of Cry No More) and left them unfinished. I am shaking my tiny, tiny fist against the various timesuck vortices that have spontaneously emerged around me.

But if you miss seeing me on-line, you have an opportunity to see me IN REAL LIFE, if you live in the Portland area and you’re free this weekend, because behold, I’ll be taking part in two events at our annual literary festival, Wordstock. One of them costs a bit of moolah ($25, but there will be many, many other intimidatingly awesome authors there) and the other costs essentially the price of admission to the festival.

Item the First
Saturday, October 10, is the Live Wire show, wherein you get to see Many People Who Are Not Me Who Intimidate the Everloving Snot Out of Me. The line up includes Sherman Alexie (AAAAAAAAAAAA here’s hoping I don’t fangirl all over him and then faint on his shoes from the hyperventilation), James motherfucking Ellroy, and Wesley Stace, who wrote a really fun and rather queer (in all senses of the word) book called Misfortune about a cross-dressing foundling. Stace is going to interview me—according to the Live Wire description, he’s going to reflect on the best ways to rip a bodice with me. Oh, boy! Apparently, the show will be broadcast as well. Here’s hoping that I get to talk about vaginas over the radio again.

So, details about this show
Where: Aladdin Theater
When: Saturday, Oct. 10 at 8 p.m. (doors open at 7 p.m.)
Cost: $25 for general admission, $35 for reserved seating

Item the Second
Sunday, October 11, is when I get to have a stage ALL TO MYSELF at Wordstock. And I get about 40 minutes for a talk. God only knows what’s going to fall out of my mouth, eh? Hopefully, I won’t be thrown out for spewing obscenities. After the talk will be a book signing at the Powell’s bookstore at the festival.

Where: Wieden + Kennedy Stage at the Oregon Convention Center
When: Sunday, Oct. 11 at 3 p.m.
Cost: $5 for admission to the festival

So if you haven’t had a chance to see me read bits of my book aloud yet, or if you want to hear me pontificate yet again about the romance reading experience (I’m probably going to talk about why we hate all over people who Read Like A Girl), this is an excellent chance to watch me make a fool of myself AND ask me humiliating questions afterwards. There may or may not be PowerPoint abuse. (I’m leaning towards YES.)

Also: the Willamette Week, one of Portland’s free alternative weeklies, sent a buncha Wordstock authors a questionnaire, and you can find my answers here, where no cuntmonkeys are mentioned, though the article features 100% more mentions of buttweasels and 200% more mentions of dickbags than any of the other author questionnaires, thus unquestionably making mine superior.