Candy at Wordstock Festival events on Saturday and Sunday

Dear Internet: I miss you. So very, very much. I’ve started a half-dozen posts (Katiebabs, I’m still working on finishing the cri de coeur—though cri de singe fâché might be more accurate—that’s my review of Cry No More) and left them unfinished. I am shaking my tiny, tiny fist against the various timesuck vortices that have spontaneously emerged around me.

But if you miss seeing me on-line, you have an opportunity to see me IN REAL LIFE, if you live in the Portland area and you’re free this weekend, because behold, I’ll be taking part in two events at our annual literary festival, Wordstock. One of them costs a bit of moolah ($25, but there will be many, many other intimidatingly awesome authors there) and the other costs essentially the price of admission to the festival.

Item the First
Saturday, October 10, is the Live Wire show, wherein you get to see Many People Who Are Not Me Who Intimidate the Everloving Snot Out of Me. The line up includes Sherman Alexie (AAAAAAAAAAAA here’s hoping I don’t fangirl all over him and then faint on his shoes from the hyperventilation), James motherfucking Ellroy, and Wesley Stace, who wrote a really fun and rather queer (in all senses of the word) book called Misfortune about a cross-dressing foundling. Stace is going to interview me—according to the Live Wire description, he’s going to reflect on the best ways to rip a bodice with me. Oh, boy! Apparently, the show will be broadcast as well. Here’s hoping that I get to talk about vaginas over the radio again.

So, details about this show
Where: Aladdin Theater
When: Saturday, Oct. 10 at 8 p.m. (doors open at 7 p.m.)
Cost: $25 for general admission, $35 for reserved seating

Item the Second
Sunday, October 11, is when I get to have a stage ALL TO MYSELF at Wordstock. And I get about 40 minutes for a talk. God only knows what’s going to fall out of my mouth, eh? Hopefully, I won’t be thrown out for spewing obscenities. After the talk will be a book signing at the Powell’s bookstore at the festival.

Where: Wieden + Kennedy Stage at the Oregon Convention Center
When: Sunday, Oct. 11 at 3 p.m.
Cost: $5 for admission to the festival

So if you haven’t had a chance to see me read bits of my book aloud yet, or if you want to hear me pontificate yet again about the romance reading experience (I’m probably going to talk about why we hate all over people who Read Like A Girl), this is an excellent chance to watch me make a fool of myself AND ask me humiliating questions afterwards. There may or may not be PowerPoint abuse. (I’m leaning towards YES.)

Also: the Willamette Week, one of Portland’s free alternative weeklies, sent a buncha Wordstock authors a questionnaire, and you can find my answers here, where no cuntmonkeys are mentioned, though the article features 100% more mentions of buttweasels and 200% more mentions of dickbags than any of the other author questionnaires, thus unquestionably making mine superior.

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  1. 1
    MamaNice says:

    Portland is on my list of places to visit – but a quick trip there from Chicago is not in the budget at the moment. I’m sure it will be awesome with a side of awesome sauce.

    Your an Alexie fan? Just read his work for the first time this summer after a local high school was in the news – parents wanted his book banned from the Freshman reading list. So of course, upon seeing that, I had to read the book.
    Have fun meeting him – but don’t flash your e-reader or Kindle if you have one, I hear he isn’t very fond of those.

  2. 2
    Tracy Sharp says:

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Cuntmonkies and dickbags! You’re killing me here. Wow!

  3. 3
    PK says:

    OMG, I wish I was in Portland this weekend.  If only for the James Ellroy experience but the rest of the entire lineup is filled with win.  Maybe you could take that show on the road to the Midwest, Candy??

  4. 4
    M says:

    Yea! I’m going to Wordstock! Any suggestions for next months NaNoWriMo? Can’t wait to hear you! Hmm will be working on my questions! ;-)

  5. 5
    Shaina says:

    Sherman Alexie was supposed to come to my school (UMass Amherst) last week but had the flu…hopefully he’s better for your thing! Sounds like an interesting guy.

  6. 6
    SheaLuna says:

    Oh, man, this ALMOST makes me want to move back to Portland! :-)  Sigh. Too bad London is so very far away…

  7. 7
    emdee says:

    I adore Alexie!  I’m jealous!  Security word himself97…

  8. 8
    MamaNice says:

    About the whole Alexie/Kindle thing from this summer – there’s an interview with him in which he explains his stance (and he does a great job of it) – the interview itself is worth a read – but the bonus points are for the great plug Bosoms gets in the sidebar!!!

    Check it out: http://www.edrants.com/sherman-alexie-clarifies-elitist-charges/

  9. 9
    Abra says:

    I’m totally with you on the Wurthering Heights question, Candy.

  10. 10
    LIzaL says:

    Dear Candy, we miss YOU. Love, the anonymous internets.

    p.s. For that line-up, I may be induced to incarnate and drive down from Seattle on Saturday- since HUMP! sold out while my attention wandered. If I can’t have amateur porn, I guess public discussion of vaginas and bodice-ripping will do.

  11. 11
    Erin says:

    Sweetness! I am so excited Candy! I am totally getting out of town to see what you might say! Portland is only a three hour drive away wooo!

  12. 12
    Sandy says:

    I’m so sad I live on the east coast :(

  13. 13
    Laura says:

    Candy,
    Saw you at Wordstock on Sunday and thought your presentation was very entertaining, thoughtful and insightful—can’t wait to read your book. 

    xxoo

    Laura

  14. 14
    Erin says:

    Fantastic job Candy!!!

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