When I first met Kate Duffy, it was at RWA in Dallas in 2007, and I was 8.5 months pregnant. I waddled everywhere, and I was, literally, a torpedo. I gave birth 6 weeks later. Like any good pregnant lady at an RWA convention, I was in the bar when I was introduced to Kate Duffy.
There was much squeeing. I was a fan of hers, and she was a fan of our site. She was drinking with one of her authors, but wanted to introduce herself and tell me how much she loved reading Smart Bitches. I was sort of dumbstruck. Ok, I was a lot dumbstruck.
Then, the following day, I mentioned that I was trying to figure out how to get to my flight to Newark, when she said, “Oh, I’ve reserved a car. You’re coming with me.” Enter dumbstruck Sarah, take two. It was 90+ degrees, I was not a little puffy, and exhausted – and she made room for me with her friend Joan, even though she’d just met me the day before. I told her then that I’d have to construct a shrine in her honor, with man titty and diet Pepsi. The shrine has grown a lot in the past two years, and I’m surprised looking back that it’s only been two years since I met Kate. I feel like I’ve known her for so much longer than that. And I know, most certainly, that it wasn’t long enough.
When I tried to explain to my husband why I was so blown away by meeting Kate and talking with her at RWA, I couldn’t figure out how to explain who she was in romance. She wasn’t just an editor or a fan of the genre.
“She’s the Julia Child of romance,” I said.
There isn’t a part of the genre in the United States that hasn’t been touched by Kate’s talent, and that’s not hyperbole. Kate and I used to meet for meals a few times a year and I always came away with a very satisfied belly – Kate had a knack for putting together the best dinner parties at restaurants that absolutely rocked. She could gather the most interesting people and before you knew it, four hours had gone by and you still had things to say and hear.
But more than that, whenever I was with Kate, I always learned something. She has been part of the romance genre in all its myriad incarnations for so long, she was a walking history book of the romance publishing industry, and of the genre as a whole.
“I didn’t want to be a governess or a nurse in Europe. I wanted to read about Americans.” – Kate Duffy
Kate was one of the foundations of the romance genre in the US because she knew there had to be a market for romances featuring American heroines and American settings. Whenever I ate with her, one story would merge into another, and suddenly I had a much deeper insight into how far the romance genre has come in recent years, and how much it’s changed. Kate was a walking history book with a very, very long memory.
“Sarah, I kid you not, dragons. DRAGONS.”
“She has dialogue like Spencer and Tracy. I love it.”
“You have to try this. No, really. Be quiet. Try this.” – Kate Duffy
At RWA in San Francisco, she and I were on the same flight home, and she eagerly shared with me the books and authors she was most excited about and the things that made her happy. I have noise canceling headphones for airline travel because Kate not only told me about them, but tapped me on the head during the flight to Newark and dropped hers onto my lap. She was right.
“Oh, look! I’m a reader!” – Kate Duffy, whose registration at RT in Pittsburgh had her listed not as an editor, but as a reader. “Best RT ever,” she told me.
Kate was often right. It was really annoying sometimes. And if we disagreed, which we did a lot, I’d often get The Look, which I nicknamed The Kate. Many people are familiar with this look. The chin goes down. One eyebrow may go up. And clear as air, you get the message that she thinks you are out of your mind. The word “withering” comes to mind. I was the recipient of The Kate many a time. Sometimes I totally deserved it.
The last time I spoke with her was 1 April 2009, when she told me I’d made a HUGE mistake in putting up an April Fool’s joke that our book had been the subject of a lawsuit brought by Jane Litte on behalf of the International Consortium of Heroes. The first email from Kate read, “I just saw the site. Are you ok?!” Then, a few seconds later, “I get it. Boy, did you ever make a mistake. Not funny.”
So I called her. She gave me a small dose of hell. I wasn’t her author, and our book wasn’t going to be published by Kensington, but she wanted me and our editor, Sulay, to succeed because she cared about us. And she thought I had made a huge goof. She told me so and then said, “Let’s get together for lunch soon. After RT.”
“Writer’s strike? I’m watching the best television in years – have you seen what’s on PBS lately? You have to see this show. Tape it. Better yet, I’ll send you a DVD. ” – Kate Duffy
Kate was determined in her generosity, and generous in her determination. Her many, many kindnesses to me over the years are too numerous to mention. I will miss her presence at conferences, her sense of humor, her wit, her curiosity, her enthusiasm, and most of all, her love of romance and the happily ever after. Kate was the closest thing I’ve had to a mentor since we met, and I valued her wisdom, her opinion, her enthusiasm, and her warmth more than I can say. She was my friend, and I will miss her terribly.
More than anything, I wished for a happier ending for her, that she would have beaten back her illnesses and kicked ass and taken names as usual. It wasn’t meant to be.
Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and I’ve been in synagogue for most of the morning. It’s also a day of reflection and remembrance, and today I’ve had a lot to reflect upon, remember, cry, and often inappropriately laugh about as I thought about Kate. If you’ve ever met Kate, you know she is unforgettable. May her memory be a blessing to her family, and may they be comforted.
“May the one who makes peace in the heavens make peace for us, and for all who dwell on earth. And let us say: Amen.” (Mourner’s Kaddish, Reconstructionist)
From her family, the obituary is below.
ALICE KATHERINE (“KATE”) DUFFY
Renowned romance genre editor
Kate Duffy (Alice Katherine Duffy) was instrumental in shaping the face and direction of the romance genre from the late seventies and the “romance revolution” of the early 1980s through today, when at any given time the authors she has worked with continue to populate the nation’s best seller lists.
The recipient of numerous honors from national and regional writers organizations, including the Romance Writers of America, she was the first recipient that organizations “Industry Award” in 1991. Recently, RT Book Reviews magazine announced her as the 2010 recipient of their annual Melinda Helfer Award, presented for outstanding support of and contributions to the genre.
Kate first published or worked with, some of the genre’s best known writers, including Jude Deveraux, Julie Garwood, Lori Foster, Heather Graham, Judith McNaught, Mary Janice Davidson, Jacqueline Frank and Mary Jo Putney.
Kate attended Notre Dame Academy, Trinity College, and George Washington University. She studied at Oxford University and returned to the U.K. to work at Paddington Press. Upon returning to the U.S. whe became an editor at Popular Library. She later worked at Dell, Simon & Schuster, where she was the founding editor of Silhouette Books, moved on to Simon & Schuster’s Pocket Books division, Harlequin Enterprises, where she founded the Worldwide Library imprint, and Kensington Publishing, where she established Brava Books. She is also remembered for the hugely successful Tapestry Books imprint at Pocket Books which began in the early 80s and continued for a number of years.
Born January 28, 1953 in Rochester, New York to Benedict James Duffy, Jr. and Alice (Boyle) Duffy, Kate lived in Rochester, New York, Hingham, Massachusetts, London, Los Angeles, Washington D.C. and New York. She spent the bulk of her adult life living in Manhattan. She is survived by her mother, actress Alice Duffy, her sister NBC News producer Clare Duffy, her brother Benedict Duffy and his wife Amanda, her niece Rosalind, her nephews Alex and Elliot, and legions of writers, friends and colleagues who are grateful to have known her.
Kate died at home after a long illness with a variety of complications.
*hugs in your grief*
I didn’t know Kate, but I can definitely feel her loss from the wonderful tribute you have written and everyone’s comments. My condolences to everyone whose lives have been touched by her.
Kate was an amazing woman. I’m grateful for her.
I’ve known Kate for, I think, twenty years. Never got the chance to work with her. But I’ll miss her laugh, her common sense, her brutal honesty and her unerring eye on the industry. Mostly I’ll miss just sitting in the bar gabbing. Thanks for giving us someplace to talk about her. I’m afraid that the industry will never be the same without her. Wherever she is, may she have books.
Though I’ve heard of her, I’ve not had the pleasure of knowing Kate or even speaking to her, and now I wish I had. She sounds like a wonderful person.
My condolences to her family and friends and all those who have been touched by her.
I’ve entered your site three times, just to go through the “tribute to Kate” opening page.
What a beautiful tribute, Sarah.
My experiences with Kate echo many of the other responses. She was a truly great woman—a friend and a mentor, at once accessible and iconic. She wonderfully encouraging, blisteringly blunt and utterly devoted to our genre.
I can’t imagine the world of romance without her.
Thank you, Kate, for your wisdom, your warmth and your unrepentant snark. We’ll miss you.
I was devastated when I read the news about Kate.
I met Kate many times at RWA conferences. She was the first editor I ever pitched to (in the Kismet era) and the first editor to request my book.
She was a warm and gracious lady (although she’d refer to herself as a crusty ole’ broad). Her sense of humor was fantastic along with her tell it like it is honesty. She definitely was and always will be the Julia Child of the Romance Industry.
We used to tease each other about being “sluty sister’s of the American Tourister” since that’s the brand of luggage we received when we graduated from school – way back in the stone age.
Hey Kate – You touched the lives of many of us and we thank you for it. We’re going to miss you lady – we love you…!
Kate was my editor for the Brava novella I did, but being a Kensington mystery author, I’d met her before. She attended a conference sponsored by Florida Romance Writers and I picked her up at the airport. We chatted at the con and I ran into her subsequently at RT and other conventions. She was an institution in the romance industry and will be sorely missed.
Thank you for a wonderful tribute for an amazing lady!
Like so many others, I met Kate at conferences and loved her dry sense of humour, her common sense advice, her generosity of spirit and the way she ploughed her own furrow, regardless of what others thought. In this crazy industry, she was always a breath of fresh air.
‘The Kate’ terrified me, but it was worth braving to hear what I needed to hear. I doubt she’d remember me, although she had an uncanny ability to remember people, but whenever we spoke, she gave me spot-on advice. I always wanted to work with her, but sadly, never got the chance.
My thoughts are with her family, friends, colleagues and authors. This is indeed a sad day, when a bright and bold light in our industry went out way, way before its time. But, I console myself by imagining she’s sorting them all out in heaven!
Well said!
Was Kate the Julia Child of romance? Or the Anthony Bourdain? Wickedly funny, unapologetic, and unafraid, she treated writers like grown-ups—and thought we were idiots when we didn’t act like one.
So much heart went into everything she did. This hurts.
That was a beautiful and heartwarming tribute to Kate. I only met her once during a conference pitch years ago, but still—like every other writer in our genre—am feeling this terrible loss. Your wonderful insight into Kate’s character and personality made me smile. What a strong, witty, wry and generous woman! Thanks very much for sharing your memories with all of us. My sincerest condolences to her family and friends.
Sarah, Kate was such a beautiful person and you’ve captured that beauty for others in your tribute. Thank you for sharing some of your memories, giving us a moment of smiles and tears.
She will be missed so very much.
Saying that Kate will be missed is something of an understatement. Kate was an institution. I’m not sure who will be able to fill those large (and from what I’ve seen, comfortable, LOL!) shoes. I know I’m sure going to miss getting “The Kate” at the bar during future conferences.
Wonderful tribute. I enjoyed working with Kate and Hilary and wished I could have met them in person. They were very supportive and I had hoped to work with them in the future. Now I won’t get that chance and I sorely regret it.
Rest in peace, Kate.
She was a force in romance who we are the better for having known her, and the sadder for having lost her.
Unfortunately, I don’t know who Kate is, but after hearing the praises from all of you, I’ll be sure to check out her work.
My condolences to all those who love her.
Wonderful tribute, Sarah. I’ve always thought of Kate as a true heroine of the romance genre and am saddened by not only the loss of such an icon, but also the loss of a genuinely great person. My sympathy to her family and close friends.
May her light shine forever in heaven.
Sarah, thanks for the wonderful tribute to Kate. As one of her authors, and a friend since I started in RWA in 2000, I will miss her so terribly much. She was the first editor I pitched to at Washington Romance Writers. I bombed and we laughed about it and she still gave me great feedback. Years later, she cornered me and said, in her inimitable style, “You Golden Hearted. Why haven’t you pitched to ME? Come here.” We went out on the pool deck – the only place she could smoke in that hotel – and she said, “SO, Pitch.”
I did.
She bought.
But even if she hadn’t, I would still be grieving her loss. Wll of us at WRW will miss her as our “Simon-Kate” for American Author, and as a ready and willing, boa-clad participant in Romance Jeopardy.
Farewell, Kate. Angels speed thee to thy rest.
What a wonderful tribute. I never had the opportunity to meet Kate Duffy although I did try. Once, I missed her at the WRW retreat because she had the flu and another I was out bid to have lunch with her at the liast minute on Brenda Novak’s Diabetes Auction. It seems the publishing industry and writers everywhere have taken a collective gasp at her passing.
I only met her once but it was enough to fall in love. I will miss her.
Beautiful post Sarah. Thanks to all here for sharing your memories of this incredible woman who graced the romance community. My condolences to her family, friends and colleagues.
Ah, Kate. I’ll miss you.
What a lovely tribute. I never had the privilege of meeting Kate Duffy, though I’d certainly heard of her, but my condolences to all her family and friends.
I am glad so many authors and readers and bloggers are talking about Kate Duffy. I am a reader and first remember hearing her name on Lori Foster’s site when she ran her first contest to give unpublished hopeful writers a chance to get a contract with Kate Duffy. I thought that was the neatest thing for so many would-be writers that might never have allowed their work to see the light of day. I remember Shannon McKenna participated and look what Kate did for her career. What a lovely person. She will be missed.
A wonderful tribute and lovely to read all of the stories of how this amazing woman touched so many lives.
A beautiful tribute. I was giggling at your story of the April fools virtual bitch slap she gave you.
My thoughts, are of course with Kate’s family and friends and our community that has suffered a great loss as well.
If there were not already books in heaven, there are now. Because the forever fabulous Kate will make it so.
Thank you for this, Sarah. Thank you.
Wow, based on all the great tributes here, I really wish I’d had the opportunity to meet this woman. My prayers go out to her friends and family.
Kate you will be missed.
Three memories stand out for me about this amazing woman. The first was when we were speakers together at a WRW conference. She grabbed me by the hand and said. “I know you. Come sit next to me. You did the publicity for one of my authors. You know you are one hell of a publicist.” I was stunned. Flat out. I’d never had anyone from a publishing house be so blunt and up front before about the work I did. We spent the rest of the evening talking about the industry and became fast friends. She was always insightful, chronically quick witted and should have her picture in the dictionary under sharp for her razor tongue lashing methods. And I loved every bit of her for it.
Years later at the Levy Author’s At Sea I sat with Kate and her mother (who indeed did pass down the sassy gene) having drinks late at night with these two incredible women and my rather stunned husband. He adored her. Kate was the kind of person who could kill with a look, and lift up with a single comment and always outstretched a hand to others. That night she leaned over to me after insisting on ordering another drink for me and said, “There are no hard feelings about me rejecting your last book, are there?”
I just about choked on my drink. “No, of course not. I respect you to much for that. That’s business. This is friendship.”
She gave me a hug. “Good, I’m glad we understand each other.” Which was promptly followed by an invitation to come and stay with her so she could introduce me around New York and find me another agent.
The last time I saw Kate was at RWA in San Franciso where she was grabbing everyone in sight and inviting them to partake of the “Kindle Koolaide”. We got to talk for too brief a time, sharing a coffee and conversation about the industry. Had I know it’d be the last I’d see of her I would have grabbed her and held on tight.
No one can take your place, Kate. No one.
I can only imagine the hole she’s left in the lives of her family, considering the gigantic gulf she’s left for the rest of us. God speed, Kate. Make the angels tremble.
Thanks for the opportunity, Sarah, to sit shiva for Kate in cyberspace.
Thank you for the lovely words about Kate. As her employer for the past 16 years we are all still in deep shock. We were counting at her being back at work in the next few weeks. To see the comments that you wrote about her are truly overwhelming. It was very difficult to read all of these wonderful memories about her, only to realize that tomorrow I will be attending her wake.
I think that Kate’s greatest contribution to publishing was her enthusiasm for a book she loved. Whether she was pitching a bestselling author or a first time writer to me….her enthusiasm could not be matched. She wouldn’t stop pitching until we’d finally give in and give her the green light to buy the book. From that moment forward, she was a champion for the author; whether it be in a marketing, art or sales meeting. Her wit in her presentations to the salespeople could not be matched.
She was truly blessed because she loved what she did.
To Kate . . . and all the memories. I don’t anyone in this business who didn’t either know her or know of her. She’s left her mark and will be missed. Thoughts and prayers to her family and all those hearts she touched.
Wonderful Tribute Sarah.
Thanks for a lovely tribute to our beloved Kate. She was my editor for years (writing as Jennifer Apodaca) and I just always assumed I’d work with her again.
Romance lost a true heroine this week. I just haven’t had the words to express who she was to me. She held my dream in her hand, always respected it, and never let me give less than 100%. I admired her fierce intelligence, laughed myself sick at her wicked humor, and learned a tremendous amount from her wisdom. Whenever I was stuck on a book, Kate was only an email or phone away.
My thoughts and prayers are with her family, her Kensington colleagues and her friends.
Be at peace, Kate Duffy.
A terrific tribute to a terrific lady who touched more lives than she probably ever knew.
Thanks for this lovely tribute to Kate. I knew she had been sick, but was shocked and saddened to hear she had passed away.
I had the great honor of meeting Kate many times over the last ten or twelve years. She was one of a kind—a tough old broad in the best sense of the words. I valued her honesty in an industry where it’s often hard to know where you stand. Kate was never afraid to say exactly what she thought and I had held out hope that perhaps, one day, we’d get to work together.
I like to think she’s still holding court somewhere, still casting The Kate on unsuspecting angels.