I have been looking at the stepback for Cathy Maxwell’s upcoming book The Earl Claims His Wife for a few hours now, and I can’t figure it out. Here’s the front cover:
The Earl, in the stepback, to my way of thinking, is indeed claiming his wife. Take a look:
Seriously, are they doing it? I mean, that’s one hell of an o-Face right there:
So, I ask you – what’s your call? Doing it? Or just having a bit of an asthma problem? Swallowing invisible avocados? If you think they’re not Doing It, then tell me in the comments, what ARE they doing? I’ll draw a winner to take home their own copy of The Earl Claims His Wife.
My first impression was “totally not doing it”—not anymore, at least. He fell asleep in the middle of “it” (complete with the obligatory snotbubble coming out of his left nostril, unless that’s a figment of my sucky monitor), and she’s now trying to free herself from his Manly Grip O’ Steel.
Then I went back and looked at the cover illustration, and HOLY JEEZUB WHAT’S WRONG WITH HER RIGHT LEG?! From the way her foot’s bending, she’s got to be standing on something, right? But it’s just… floating in the air in this weird sort of hyper-extended state. Human joints don’t normally behave like this, as far as I know, so she’s obviously not human.
Thus, I changed my vote: “Totally doing it”, except she’s one of the Mantis People and is about to devour his head.
(On a slightly tangential note, this book’s title made me think of “The Farmer in the Dell”, and now it’s stuck in my head. “The Earl claims his wife, the Earl claims his wife, high-ho-de-derry-oh…”)
I voted NOT DOING IT because of the whole trouser issue. Dude’s pants are so tight that an open fly would really show up in that second shot.
I think they are talking about doing it, though. And he’s all “I’m going to make you my wife FOR REAL,” and she’s all “Oh Earl baby, yes, yes!” They will talk about it for a few pages, because it’s too soon in the story arc for them to actually DO it.
I’m going to have to read this, because of my new vow to read all historical romances featuring bare legs. (For this you can blame Jennifer Haymore and Sherry Thomas.) And those certainly are bare—all the way to Omaha, as my late grandfather would have said.
Totally not doing it. He’s clearly comforting her for the loss of her other leg. And her neck.
They’re playing hide the salami…
And she’s looking for it with her crotch…
My word verification? didnt72
I guess #73 is the charm then, eh?
Hmmm, having a little pre-bed sing-a-long? Chosen song: HOLIDAY ROAD by Lindsey Buckingham. Ya know, all that “holiday roooooooooaaaaaaad” would make your face look like that.
Doesn’t explain his flush however.
Nah, they’re totally doin’ it.
OK—lots of ‘o’ faces in the Buckinham video. I kid you not.
The boots are a dead giveaway – he’s teaching her riding techniques: the proper way to “seat” when cantoring, trotting, etc. The fact that he’s enjoying it so much just shows what a perv he is!
Ew, definitely doing it. And why is her face so awkwardly tilted? Maybe her hair’s wearing her down…
They already did it. They both look like they’re falling asleep.
In a few more seconds they are both going to fall off the bed.
I think they are doing it, and indicated so by my vote. However, I decided to comment because I want a chance at reading that book in public. I am sure that it would excite much speculation on the “nature” of my reading material!
I think she used superglue on her earring, and then he got the earring stuck to his forehead before it was dry.
They’re definitely doing it. There is just no other reason for that position and those faces especially. She’s in a very uncomfortable position and I think she’d notice if she wasn’t in the throes of passion. =)
Doing it, though front cover looks like buttsecks—hope they wash up before second pic.
Word for day, hospital65—hmmmmm—so many ways I could go with this lol…
Of course they’re not doing it?
My guess is that they’re about to leave for their pre-marital counseling session with the vicar. Who wouldn’t be excited? It’s obvious that in her thrill, she lost her balance (those little slipper shoe things don’t offer much support, after all) and he caught her before she fell to the floor. Of course she’s a little rumpled after a near-fall and he’s merely helping her organize her skirts before he calls for the carriage.
It’s all quite sweet, really.
Yep—totally doing it.
BTW, anybody else think he looks like the character Brian from the ‘90’s TV show “Wings”?
Even looks like he’s saying something snarky.
It looks like dry-humping. They are really enjoying it!
Oh, i think they are definitely doing it.
OMG what’s going on with her toes in the first pic?!
And they look like they’re having foreplay. Unless his erection is so manly it’s ripped right through his trous…
He’s a magnate who’s made his fortune importing cloth from the Far East and he’s rubbing his cheek against her satin and thinking about how rich he is.
Oh and he’s probably having sex too.
Ahem.
If they ARE doing it (and those faces that they’re pulling do seem to indicate that it’s a possibility) then (or is this just my nasty mind?) aren’t the ANGLES just a little bit wrong? They probably aren’t Doing It, but are Doing Something Else Which Is Generally Considered Much Naughtier, which would also explain that face she’s pulling.
Either that, or they’re both trying to get away from a mouse that’s down there, on the floor, where they’re both looking, and the woman is winning despite being hampered by lots of shiny blue frock and a pair of impossibly short legs (one of which might well have dropped off already).
Doing it . . . but she’s thinking . . . at least I can’t get pregnant cuz he kept his boot on!
**SNORT**
I don’t think they are Doing it! This stems from watching the movie When Harry Met Sally. Remember Meg Ryan’s amazingly realistic scene of faking it? 😀
She has no neck. MY GOD, SHE HAS NO NECK!!
They’re totally not doing it. I don’t think he looks interested in his wife. Notice how his left hand is never in the picture? I think it’s underneath her skirts – caressing her lace drawers or some such thing. BUT NOT ON HER!
near45 – it’s near enough to doing it, but it’s still not doing it.
Well, with the attention he’s payng to her neck, I think he’s inspecting her for something serious like vampire bites or evidence of lyme disease or something. Oh, who am I kidding…*obviously* they are either doing it or practicing a *ahem* dry run before the main event.
I’m less concerned about whether they’re doing it, and more concerned that apparently her head has become dislodged from her body. Which, come to think of it, makes the fact that he definitely is doing it very, very icky!
Again I say they are definitely done! That is a his and hers post coital face if I ever made one or saw another… Men get all goofy like that, although he is a bit exaggerated in a romantic post coitus stage. She is reveling I think, caught on the spasms of her orgasm! Notice how she has one eye slightly squeezed tighter than the other? He definitely found her happy place. Covey of quails sexual analogy here, fluttering afterglow.
Wish I were clever enough to put images of this nature to this clever song, anyone so gifted please do so! Here is the video, we just need romance novel soft porn covers and the Smart Bitches, Trashy Books logo spaced in between 30 covers.
Sorry if this is already mentioned because I didn’t read all the comments. I checked Amazon to see the era and this was the time of the pants that had a front flap that buttoned right and left so he could be totally unbuttoned in the front and the back would still be up.
So yes, I think they are doing it.
But I also think she is an alien life that is getting ready to unhinge her jaw and swallow him whole. The dress is actually her plumage.
They’re doing it…but based on the placement of her hips (look at that left thigh), I’d say it’s actually a very uncomfortable attempt at prophylactic-less birth control – i.e., a little “what-what in the butt,” to borrow a phrase that I’ve only heard here.
Totally doing it.
Hmmm….I’m new-ish to Regency, but I’ve already seen a certain word used quite often. I’m calling that O-face “le grand frisson”
Dry humping, definitely.
Regardless, his expression is brutal. What, is he meditating? Thinking of a rose garden? Hearing the voices of angels?
Thank goodness her eyes are closed, so she doesn’t have to see it!
I voted no.
My theory? I think she’s probably wearing some great perfume, right? And he is completely intrigued with it. And so he’s all *sniffy* at her neck, and he’s so into it that his mouth is just hanging open. With me so far? Ok, well, apparently he has horrible dental hygiene, and she’s sitting there on his lap having to breathe through her mouth because his mouth stinks to high heaves. And he doesn’t realize it because he’s enamored with her perfume. Notice she even seems to be angling her nose away from him. It’s because someone never taught The Earl how to properly care for his teeth.
That’s my theory anyways.
Backin up on it – ur doin it wrong
Considering that the pose on the front cover almost shows her coochie, yep the stepback def hollers that some bronco busting is going on.
Was just looking at this cover again. This guy reminds me of Christopher Lambert from the orginal Highlander movie….was reading some of the greatest hits posts and thinking highlander…hmm swords….guess he is just carrying a “concealed weapon” wink wink.
fear62……because his mighty sword is 62” long, be fearful
I’m thinking dry hump. And that’s gonna leave a stain.
I laughed so much reading the comments I almost choked and the kids kept asking me why I was laughing.
Definitely doing it, or just done. Pants in those days unlaced in a horizontal way, so no problem at all with the pants being tight. Good support!
Required 78- breaths to recover, perhaps?
His pants are still on. Totally dry-humping. Possibly while singing a duet.
Anyone else think he looks a lot like the guy who plays “Dexter”? clearly, she’s a mass murderer, and he’s about to kill her.
I say HELL yeah, they are doing it! Alternatively, he ecstatically rubs his rough man-cheek on her lusciously soft cleavage, moisturized daily with [insert name of your favourite body lotion], while she is flattered by his enthusiasm, yet chafed by his alpha male stubble.
While they are doing it.
I voted no, and apparently in the vast minority.
While she’s probably going commando, he still has his trousers and boots on. Plus the expression her face is more “Ow, this position makes my lower back hurt!” then “Oh god, oh god, oh god you’re sooooooo good, my studmuffin!” And he looks like he’s asleep and about to drool on her chest.
If he really wants to claim his wife, he needs to invest in a good bed for the two of them and catch up on his rest. 🙂