I have been looking at the stepback for Cathy Maxwell’s upcoming book The Earl Claims His Wife for a few hours now, and I can’t figure it out. Here’s the front cover:
The Earl, in the stepback, to my way of thinking, is indeed claiming his wife. Take a look:
Seriously, are they doing it? I mean, that’s one hell of an o-Face right there:
So, I ask you – what’s your call? Doing it? Or just having a bit of an asthma problem? Swallowing invisible avocados? If you think they’re not Doing It, then tell me in the comments, what ARE they doing? I’ll draw a winner to take home their own copy of The Earl Claims His Wife.
Really, it looks like they were trying to do it and fell asleep before they could get undressed.
But hey, narcoleptics need love too!
LMAO! Totally agree. That’s the “fake face” and her mind has begun to wander…
They’re scratching each other’s poison ivy rashes. I am hard-core allergic to poison ivy, and the ecstasy on their faces looks pretty close to the ecstasy that accompanies a good scratching. He must have it on his neck, and hers in on her shoulder. Don’t ask me how it got there.
I voted doing it, but I’m starting to doubt it. If she’s his wife, they would not be doing it unless it is dark and they were in the standard missionary position. Any other position would make her a “gasp” harlot.
I believe she saw a mouse and he is checking to make sure it did not run under her skirt. He is making the O face because he too is afraid of the itty bitty rodent.
spamword – surface52 – if she really were a harlot I bet he could find at least 52 surfaces to deliver the goods.
XandraG i noticed that too. Her legs are freakishly short. How the fuck did that get by the art department? Fail.
As I pondered this, I heard the word “impregnating” on the television. $DEITY has spoken: they’re doing it.
(Granted, the television context was in the context of a discussion of electronics, and impregnating one material with another. Still.)
Either they ARE doing it (through a hole in his pants, since they’re still clearly fastened), or she’s missing a leg.
He’s done it, she hasn’t… Great call on the freakishly short legs and arm contortions.
Captcha: inside75! 75 votes for the Earl keeping it inside his pants… or did he?
they are totally doing it
OKay if you think this is bad check out Karen Hawkins’ The Laird Who Loved Me….
He has her against a window and her skirt is up and he is holding her thighs…. well you get the picture.
Oh they are definitely done! That is a his and hers post coital face if I ever made one or saw another… Men get all goofy like that, although he is a bit exaggerated in a romantic post coitus stage. She us reveling I think, naughty gal!
Totally inappropriate, but could not resist:
They are both experimenting with new ways to relieve the ‘itch’ without using their hands to actually ‘scratch’, as they are suffering from… (insert either Chickenpox or Pediculosis pubis, I wonder who gave it to whom?).
The first try is probably not as satisfying as say the second?
Hence, the gratifying relief of, “Ohhh, that’s the spot!” on their faces.
Nope, his pants are still up and her legs aren’t in quite the right position. I like to think that @Danielle is right and that they’re Scratching the annoying Itch of whatever.
LOLOLOLOL!!! All of the comments have me howling with laughter but I voted YES, they are doing it.
Have you people never seen the Regency pants with the falls?? They just unbutton and HELLO, Mr. Happy whips out and it’s on like Donkey Kong. Plus, he totally looks like he’s finished and she’s still confused about what just happened.
So, YES a thousand times, yes.
Maybe they’re not really doing it…
…but as romance novel characters, these two can orgasm just from a mere hug.
is it just me or does he look way too old for her here?
not to get all history-prissy but the back being up doesn’t mean as on the historical costume. He might have a front flap on those trousers.
Clearly he is cracking her back. Get your mind out of the gutter 😉 !
I voted that they are. But my favorite this year is Karen Hawkins’ “Sleepless in Scotland” (not “The Laird Who Loved Me”—yes, she’s on his lap but she’s too high and his kilt isn’t open far enough). But for “Sleepless” he’s in a kilt (already a winner), it’s open so far that you can see the back of his thigh, and his knees are bent. It totally looks like they’re doing it and I love it! I nominated it for the two-cover category at the Cover Cafe’s annual cover contest. And I will vote for it.
And, as someone who is 5’8” but whose height is all in her back and not in her short legs, I don’t think the model on the Maxwell cover has too short legs. I think they’re probably about normal and we’ve just gotten used to the very unnatural, overly elongated look that fashion and other types of illustrations use.
I can’t believe my word: used59! As of midnight, I’ve used up 59 years and start on 60 (me and the Boss)!
Oh, they’re doing it.
Do you know how hard it is to get those boots off? After a few minutes of tussling with those things, she ended up straddling him and the rest is earl-wife-claiming history.
They’re totally doing it, though I agree that his pants seem rather…on.
Also, the dude totally looks like Lee Adama from Battlestar Galactica.
Oh yes, I am that nerdy.
CLEARLY they are playing “go fish.”
“Do you have any eights?”
“Eights? Oh yes! Yes! YES!!!”
(By the way, anyone notice the ambiguous sentence structure of the caption? How can he make her more than a wife if she’s already his wife? Please. They could have rearranged that sentence SO many other ways, so that it would make sense no matter how you chose to read it.)
Backwards heimlich? Is she choking?
So, I ask you – what’s your call? Doing it? Or just having a bit of an asthma problem?
Who says it can’t be both? Asthmatics need love, too.
The bizarre proportions and vacant expression clearly indicate that the Earl’s “wife” is actually a fairly detailed wooden doll.
On the main cover, Earl Gepetto is clearly adjusting the right leg. Alas, it has fallen off again in the stepback, while he was trying to attach the arm, which would account for his look of vacant frustration.
LOL, like so many of the stepbacks these days, but I have to admit the look on his face is a bit humorous, not o’like which leads me to think, nah they ain’t doin’ it. But definitely had fun deciding 🙂
They were rehearsing for the So You Think You Can Dance auditions, practicing some swing steps – or is that jitter bugging? You know, when the guy picks the girl up by the waist, swings her up real high and then she wraps her legs around his waist? Only he already had a stiffy, see, so when he picked her up and brought her back down and their happy parts slammed together, he was like “Ooomph!” and she was like “Oooh!”, and he stumbled backwards, and fortunately there was a bed right there, so he sat down. (Is that a bed, and he’s sitting on the railing? That doesn’t look comfortable).
He’s resting his head as he waits for the excruciating pain to subside, and she’s comforting him because she feels just awful that she almost broke his manly shaft.
And they’re both going to feel like right idiots when they show up at Almack’s tomorrow night and find that Lady Jersey only just recently allowed waltzing, she’s not having any jitter bugging up in there, and our H/H look ridiculous waltzing together, what with her abnormally stubby little legs.
with94 – I have 94 followers on Twitter (true that!).
They are completely doing it!!!! :/
The cover I think would be featured on Perez Hilton for “Does she have anything on under there?”
Still love Cathy Maxwell tho! 🙂
I think she’s doing it but is about to be left hanging – he looks like he’s just fallen asleep. The next expression on her face will be frustration and/or anger.
Well, they want us to THINK they’re doing it…but they both look like they’re yawning, so they must not be doing it very well.
Believe it or not, they’re actually practicing their trapeze act. The flush, the exertion…they’re just practicing without a net, and without the added element of danger to the routine. At least until they get it right. It’s just their trapeze act, which is upcoming in a couple of days within the novel.
I looked to the pants waistband, and it is snugly intact, so I’m thinking they’re just doing some grinding, max. I’m glad they’re not though, since it seems she’ll have to go to the ER ASAP. Missing a neck and on fire and all.
Unconvinced, she’s obviously studying his fingers and assessing his potential while she writhes just enough to keep him hangin’ on.
(“horse46”—Nope, not hung like one.)
@ Sarah C you are so right! she does look like her neck’s missing and what are those mysterious flames?
Perhaps she’s dead (from a broken neck – I reckon mine’d have to be broken to get in that position for sure) and he’s “saying goodbye” before tossing her into the giant hearth in the next room.
Perhaps the title of the book is missing some words? Perhaps it is “The Earl Claims His Wife went on holiday to the Continent but we’re charging him with Murder!”
Hubby says it looks like they are getting ready to go at it, however, it also appears the dude already did his part before ever hitting home. The man I married is clearly a nut. lol
Following hubby’s train of thought, perhaps the look on her face is one of those, “Oh, it’s okay, honey, you’ll get it right next time.” things.
Spam word: Million96, yep, he tried and tried a million and 96 times and still didn’t manage to hit it home. Poor sap.
Forgot to mention: no need to enter me in the contest. Maybe if it were The Earl Takes His Stable Boy… 😉
I think it’s obvious.
They’ve fallen asleep. Propped up by invisible cushions. And it looks like they’re both droolers.
Oh yeah, they are doing it.
Not only are they doing it, it’s so hot her dress is dematerializing.
Now I’ve got this line in my head from History of the World, Part 1:
It’s good to be the king.
They are smelling each other