DocTurtle + MadLibs= WIN

What do you get when you take a math professor who is curious about romance, the crahkalicious Black Dagger Brotherhood, and the internet?

Why, DocTurtle’s Black Dagger Brotherhood Madlibs of course.

Thanks to DocTurtle, we have so much fun, we might end up crashing the UNC Ashville server. Oh, it’s just a beautiful thing. Enjoy!

Of course I did one!

Wrath opened the door to the sound of ska.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Mozart again.  ‘What is this cuntweasel?’ Wrath demanded.

  ‘Rock On, my brother, it’s just Mozart’s new album, Furry Corpustle.’

Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with slick Kleenex towels.

  ‘Shite, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking smelly!’

  Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X crapping a civilian vampire.  With a rake.’

‘Time to eat. Angrily.’ said Wrath.

  ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to bang some soft tv remotes.’

And here’s Candy’s:

Wrath opened the door to the sound of Tuvan throat singing.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Neil Diamond again.  ‘What is this motherfucking shit?’ Wrath demanded.

  ‘It’s totally groovy, my brother, it’s just Neil Diamond’s new album, Stubby Erection.’

Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with eldritch Lucky Strike rice noodles.

  ‘Poop-slinger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking turgid!’

  Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X cockmongering a civilian vampire.  With a nubbin.’

‘Time to pulse. Mournfully.’ said Wrath.

  ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to flub some putrid poodle skirts.’

Categorized:

Fun And Games

Comments are Closed

  1. Dept. of true confessions: I went and looked up verb-form terminology before filling out the form; it’s been too long since I’ve had to remember what “gerund” means. 

    Now, then:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of gospel.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Minnie Pearl again.  ‘What is this drek?’ Wrath demanded.

    ‘Far-out, my brother, it’s just Minnie Pearl’s new album, Dry Chlorine.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with tortuous Vlasic dominoes.

    ‘Great Caesar’s ghost, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking pathetic!’

    Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X ejaculating a civilian vampire.  With a mini-van.’

    ‘Time to throw. Embarrassingly.’ said Wrath.

    ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to explode some muscular AK-47s.’

  2. Cerulean says:

    This broke my lurker habit! Here’s my attempt

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of teen pop.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to New Kids on the Block again.  ‘What is this horseshit?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Cool beans, my brother, it’s just New Kids on the Block’s new album, Frightful Train.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with spicy Jell-O games.

      ‘Crap on a stick, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking weak!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X cooking a civilian vampire.  With a beaver.’

    ‘Time beg. Longingly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to load some Awesome mountains.’

  3. Lorraine says:

    Here’s mine…

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of jazz.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Sting again.  ‘What is this crap?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Sting’s new album, Black Rectangle.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with yellow Jello watermelons.

      ‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking squishy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X sitting a civilian vampire.  With a sunflower.’

    ‘Time to go. Slowly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to play some purple casabas.’

  4. Lostshadows says:

    A pity some of the words you fill in don’t seem to actually get incorporated into the result.
    ——————————-
    Wrath opened the door to the sound of progressive metal.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Billie Holiday again.  ‘What is this bullocks?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Square, my brother, it’s just Billie Holiday’s new album, Jumpy Bunyip.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with furry Kitchen Aid wizards.

      ‘Bugger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking rugose!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X skipping a civilian vampire.  With a lathe.’

    ‘Time to juggle. Moistly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get dial some squamous tea bags.’
    ——-
    reached43-not yet

  5. Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    “Hot Pink Cream Cheese” actually sounds like it could be the new Mick Jagger album.

    What I want to know is, is the original of this passage taken directly from Dark Lover, or did DocTurtle just make something up?

  6. I oughta be working….can’t resist.

    ~*~

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of Disco.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Bee-Gees again.  ‘What is this bitch?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Ho, my brother, it’s just Bee-Gees’s new album, Sexy Sham-WOW.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with stinky Tucks boobs.

      ‘Douche-bag, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking shifty!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X sexing a civilian vampire.  With a sexpot.’

    ‘Time to be-bop. Silkily.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get flipped some skanky books.’

  7. Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    For whatever reason, I decided to go with a whole lotta G’s:
    Wrath opened the door to the sound of jazz.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Kenny G again.  ‘What is this cock breath?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Gag me, my brother, it’s just Kenny G’s new album, Goofy Grape.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with ginormous Tater Tots genomes.

      ‘Motherfuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking greedy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X filling a civilian vampire.  With a gun.’

    ‘Time to graze. Gaseously.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to transition some gullible geese.’

    spamword:  size55.  gawd, I hope not.

  8. Muselady says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of disco.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Yanni again.  ‘What is this cocksucker?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Dollface, my brother, it’s just Yanni’s new album, Juicy Sword.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with putrid Trojan eruptions.

      ‘Sons of bitches, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking flamboyant!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X thrusting a civilian vampire.  With a lollipop.’

    ‘Time to leap. Darkly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to obliterate some kickass groundhogs.’

  9. Aimee says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of EMO.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Rilo Kiley again.  ‘What is this horseshit?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Dude, my brother, it’s just Rilo Kiley’s new album, Obscenely Peaches.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with bubbly Sunburst creampuffs.

      ‘Bugger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking effervescent!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X swinging a civilian vampire.  With a flute.’

    ‘Time to boogie. Quickly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to snort some magnificent stilettos.’

  10. Andieg says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of zydeco.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Flea again.  ‘What is this Fucktard?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Dy-no-myte!, my brother, it’s just Flea’s new album, Hairy Bosom.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with perky Carnation ta-ta’s.

      ‘Douchebag, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking taut!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X licking a civilian vampire.  With a frenulum.’

    ‘Time to grope. Dangerously.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to fondle some stiff peckers.’

  11. Andieg says:

    These mad libs are worse than crystal meth…So addicting!

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of punk.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to The Sex Pistols again.  ‘What is this shithead?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Heavy, my brother, it’s just The Sex Pistols’s new album, Rosey Hooter.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with purple Oscar Meyer testes.

      ‘Goddamn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking veiny!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X molesting a civilian vampire.  With a dong.’

    ‘Time to thrust. Achingly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to suck some bodaceous jugs.’

  12. Alex Ess says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of tweeny pop.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Glenn Danzig again.  ‘What is this Poopsicle!?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Glenn Danzig’s new album, Soft Shaft.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with cuddly Astroglide teeth.

      ‘Balls!, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking fluffy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X spanking a civilian vampire.  With a latke.’

    ‘Time to plotz. Sprightly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to reupholster some bootylicious claws.’

  13. Lovecow2000 says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of pop.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Erasure again.  ‘What is this asshattery?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Far out, my brother, it’s just Erasure’s new album, Puce Snot.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with melancholic Ford dildos.

      ‘Bugger, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking lackadaisical!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X laving a civilian vampire.  With a handjob.’

    ‘Time to lathe. Fluidly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to boink some lusty monkeys.’

  14. Ziggy says:

    “What is this fuck?” I love this and am going to use this in everyday conversation from now on.

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of Acid techno.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Michael Bolton again.  ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Great Googly Moogly!, my brother, it’s just Michael Bolton’s new album, Smelly Digital SLR camera.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with dorkerrific Christian Louboutin machetes.

      ‘Bollocks, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking pointy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X screwing a civilian vampire.  With a Sellotape.’

    ‘Time to fly. Mournfully.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to eat some ludicrous iPods.’

  15. Too too awesome.  Thank you, Doc Turtle.

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of reggae.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to James Brown again.  ‘What is this cunt?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Rad, my brother, it’s just James Brown’s new album, Assmonkey Lemoncello.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with funky Eddie Bauer weasels.

      ‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking bitchin’!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X reading a civilian vampire.  With a sheath.’

    ‘Time to die. Absatively.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to eat some fierce books.’

  16. Lostshadows says:

    And my results after asking my brothers for their input.
    ——————
    Wrath opened the door to the sound of cow punk.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Squeeze again.  ‘What is this Goll darn it?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Twenty-three skidoo, my brother, it’s just Squeeze’s new album, Oily Hedgehog.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with purple Kitchen Aid kittens.

      ‘Crap, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking inter-locking!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X plummeting a civilian vampire.  With a blood bank.’

    ‘Time to choke. Slowly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to boggle some deadly hostages.’

  17. darlynne says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of reggae.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Bob Marley again.  ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Bob Marley’s new album, Wonky Escalade.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with slippery Dr. Pepper legs.

      ‘Damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking evil!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X hosing a civilian vampire.  With a chair.’

    ‘Time to die. Sympathetically.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to mow some phony arms.’

  18. Jamie says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of medieval madrigals.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers again.  ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Slap ma fro’, my brother, it’s just George Thoroughgood and the Destroyers’s new album, Amazing Presentation.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with quality WWE tapestries.

      ‘Fuckmonkey, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking homosexual!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X covering a civilian vampire.  With a cross.’

    ‘Time to discuss cross-dressing and gender issues. Classily.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to breed some historic couches.’

  19. Jamie says:

    You know, reading mine again… the sentences are eerily coherent.

    PS—A lot of the “These are fucking…” sentences sound like something out of a Mitch Hedberg routine. Especially “These are fucking interlocking!”

    floor28—Hit the floor 28 times with laughter.

  20. roccermom says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of Dub.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Level 80 Elite Tauren Cheiftans again.  ‘What is this twatweasel?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Grody, my brother, it’s just Level 80 Elite Tauren Cheiftans’s new album, Smarmy Hot dog.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with bodacious   Acme vials.

      ‘Jiminy fucktits, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking madcrazy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X rolling a civilian vampire.  With a bun.’

    ‘Time to impale. Desolately.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to cross some puddingish pockets.’

  21. MicheleKS says:

    I’m laughing so hard at all these Mad Libs BDB-style. And I had to do another one:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of new wave.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Oingo Boingo again.  ‘What is this asshole?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Trendy, my brother, it’s just Oingo Boingo’s new album, Gooey Dick.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with slippery Preparation H fuckmonkeys.

      ‘Shitface, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking groddy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X grinding a civilian vampire.  With a shit.’

    ‘Time drooling. Clearly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get slobbering some icky dickwads.’

  22. Liz says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of punk.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Michael Jackson again.  ‘What is this assmunch?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Neato, my brother, it’s just Michael Jackson’s new album, Hard Knee.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with throbbing Nike breasts.

      ‘Dickwad, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking wet!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X punishing a civilian vampire.  With a manroot.’

    ‘Time to see. Slowly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to taste some erect balls.’

  23. Muselady says:

    This game is just too much fun.  Crahktastic!

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of big band music.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks again.  ‘What is this bullhockey?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Jumpin’ Jehosephat, my brother, it’s just Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks’s new album, Sleek Twat.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with super-sized Tropicana orgasms.

      ‘Holy shite, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking effervescent!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X impaling a civilian vampire.  With a hedgehog.’

    ‘Time to levitate. Manfully.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to transcend some evangelical pillowcases.’

    spamword: nature84 – It’s my nature to want to play this game 84 times.

  24. Cassie says:

    The mad libs are so full of win it’s not even funny. 

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of punk.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Lady Gaga again.  ‘What is this Goddamn?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Fo’ shizzle, my brother, it’s just Lady Gaga’s new album, Fugly Laptop.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with sad Honda mice.

      ‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking pissy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X sighing a civilian vampire.  With a book.’

    ‘Time be. Superbly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to know some awesome flutes.’

  25. earthgirl says:

    awesome!

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of bluegrass.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to The Gourds again.  ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Boss, my brother, it’s just The Gourds’s new album, Livid Subaru Forrester LE.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with splitting pepperidge farm kittens.

      ‘Damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking deadly!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X fucking a civilian vampire.  With a Rolex gold watch.’

    ‘Time to damn. Furious.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to give some fluffy martinis.’

    I know I put in shitkicker as one of my words, but somehow it isn’t in there.

    Also: Doc Turtle, I didn’t realize you teach at UNC Asheville! I was there a few years ago, when NCUR was there. Neat school, awesome town.

  26. earthgirl says:

    Cat Marsters: I think you win. I haven’t read all of them, though.

  27. Heike M. says:

    I had to do one more, regency style:
    ——-
    Wrath opened the door to the sound of Lady Jane playing the piano.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Haendel again.  ‘What is this, bugger you?’ Wrath demanded.
    ‘I say, my brother, it’s just Haendel’s new album, Supercilious Ball gown.’
    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with dainty Bond Street Hessian Boots.
    ‘Faugh, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking high in the instep!’
    Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X waltzing with a civilian vampire.  With a taper.’
    ‘Time to stroll. Condescendingly.’ said Wrath.
    ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to bow to some sprigged house parties.’
    ——
    back to work!

  28. Love this and love Doc Turtle’s comments.

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of opera.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Placido Domingo again.  ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Broad, my brother, it’s just Placido Domingo’s new album, Thrusting Plate.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with wet Tampax hammers.

      ‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking grotesque!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X opening a civilian vampire.  With a ukelele.’

    ‘Time to go. Delicately.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get fondle some sensitive passports.’

  29. Miri says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of bluegrass.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Zooey Deschanel again.  ‘What is this wedding vegetables?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Keen, my brother, it’s just Zooey Deschanel’s new album, Smelly Bjork.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with dangerous Massengill nozzles.

      ‘Poopy head, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking bright!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X penciling a civilian vampire.  With a freeway.’

    ‘Time to squat. Hotly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to consider some pulsing marbles.’

  30. Stephanie says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of a cappella.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Baldwin Charm again.  ‘What is this Fuckadoodledoo?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Groovy, my brother, it’s just Baldwin Charm’s new album, Frustrating Professor.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with lifeless Coke skittles.

      ‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking wistfull!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X trade a civilian vampire.  With a job.’

    ‘Time to sing. Quickly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to move some purple interns.’

  31. Candy says:

    I had to do this again. Had. to.

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of kazoo jug bands.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Jay-Z again.  ‘What is this Shitmonger?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, my brother, it’s just Jay-Z’s new album, Ersatz Pork.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with tumescent Payless gangsta rappers.

      ‘Crapfucker, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking libelous!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X creaming a civilian vampire.  With a flounder.’

    ‘Time to lathe. Salaciously.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to lave some non-confrontational British nannies.’

  32. tracyleann says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of indie pop.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Eminem again.  ‘What is this shit?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Gnarly!, my brother, it’s just Eminem’s new album, Homophobic Dagger.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with rockin’ Rubbermaid shitkickers.

      ‘Damn, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking leathery!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X punishing a civilian vampire.  With a Escalade.’

    ‘Time to love. Vigorously.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to invite some pale fangs.’

  33. quichepup says:

    If Domingo made an album called Thrusting Plate I would buy it.

    OK, here’s mine.

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of reggae.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Burning Spear again.  ‘What is this heck?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Cool, my brother, it’s just Burning Spear’s new album, Squishy Sweater.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with leathery Motrin cows.

      ‘Blasted, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking warm!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X wearing a civilian vampire.  With a hog.’

    ‘Time shopping. Shiny.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get called some spiky guns.’

  34. KJsGrrl says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of folk music.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Jay Z again.  ‘What is this fucktard?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Like totally radical, my brother, it’s just Jay Z’s new album, Ridonkulous Ass crack.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with skeevy keebler double fudge cookie douche bags.

      ‘Cocksucker, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking shitty!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X flexing a civilian vampire.  With a piehole.’

    ‘Time to run. Voraciously.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get farting some voluptuous penes.’

    ***********************************************
    This had to be the most hilarious set of comments i’ve read.  EVAH!

  35. Wrath opened the door to the sound of Death Metal.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Deathtongue again.  ‘What is this asshat?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Cats Pajamas, my brother, it’s just Deathtongue’s new album, Frothy Dagger.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with sparkly Twilight Dildos.

      ‘Cheesedick, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking graceful!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X laving a civilian vampire.  With a foreskin.’

    ‘Time to blave. Amazingly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to skeeze some manly Mermen.’

  36. Shocked and Amused says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of trance.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Okean Elzy again.  ‘What is this Jugfucker?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Twenty-three skiddoo, my brother, it’s just Okean Elzy’s new album, Upside-down Beast.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with smelly Hugo Boss bedsheets.

      ‘Sonofabitch, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking three-sided!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X eating a civilian vampire.  With a poop.’

    ‘Time to grind. Lustily.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to punish some engorged testes.’

    next45? The next45 of these will only be more hysterical.

  37. Saam says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of minimalism.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Andre Rieu again.  ‘What is this Arsehole?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Boyo, my brother, it’s just Andre Rieu’s new album, Blooming Grass.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with lugubrious Glen-20 wings.

      ‘Crap, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking transcendent!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X lifting a civilian vampire.  With a carpet.’

    ‘Time to cha-cha. Blatantly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to groan some squishy planks.’

  38. Lizzie (greeneyed fem) says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of ars nova.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Alanis Morissette again.  ‘What is this shit balls?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘As if, my brother, it’s just Alanis Morissette’s new album, Green Leather Chaps.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with sweaty Tevas sticky buns.

      ‘Fuck, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking turgid!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X throbbing a civilian vampire.  With a scrunchie.’

    ‘Time to curtsey. Hungrily.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to yak some sweet kittens.’

  39. Yunami says:

    Oh God, hysterical!  Mine:


    Wrath opened the door to the sound of swing.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Bud Freeman again.  ‘What is this motherfucker?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Jinkies, my brother, it’s just Bud Freeman’s new album, Spunky Turtle.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with impoverished Kotex eyeballs.

      ‘Cuntweasel, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking sexy!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X examining a civilian vampire.  With a kitten.’

    ‘Time to cuddle. Abashedly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to eat some green castanets.’

  40. Lisa Hendrix says:

    Wrath opened the door to the sound of ska.  Tohr and Rhage were listening to Johnny Cash again.  ‘What is this fuck?’ Wrath demanded.

      ‘Hep cat, my brother, it’s just Johnny Cash’s new album, Red Hour.’

    Just then Fritz came in.  With a tray laden with huge Jello legs.

      ‘Shit, Fritz!’ cried Rhage.  ‘These are fucking light!’

      Vishous came in, dagger drawn.  ‘The lessers are back.  I caught Mr. X petting a civilian vampire.  With a fret.’

    ‘Time to succor. Quickly.’ said Wrath.

      ‘Whatever,’ said Rhage.  ‘I don’t care as long as I get to excoriate some profound trucks.’

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