Friday Videos Found a Total Alpha Hero

From Moth:

“Are either or you bitches Howard Keel fans? Because my sister just discovered this wonderful/horrifying video of him in a tiny tiny skirt on you tube and I just… had to share.

It includes: A feisty red-head, hair-pulling, animals freaking out, men with trust issues, phallic symbols like whoa- It’s practically a romance novel cover in action! (Although there is a sad lack of man-titty).”

HOLY CRAP. From the lyrics to the gladiator togs to the thighs to the nice phallic dagger to the LYRICS OMG – I can’t think of a SINGLE alpha hero who might sing this song, no, no not at allll. Snort.

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Friday Videos

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  1. 1
    Laura (in PA) says:

    Whoa is right. I do like how she was looking up his skirt when he was on the table, though.

  2. 2
    Anya Delvay says:

    LOL! That flip onto the couch was the highlight for me. Talk about in-your-face Alpha. Fun way to start a Friday! Friday? *cheers wildly*

  3. 3
    Michele says:

    So bad it was good, good for a laugh that is.

  4. 4
    JJ says:

    I don’t think it was the song/lyrics that shocked me as much as the incongruous sight of a manly man gladiator-type bursting into song randomly.  I was totally unprepared for this.

    Also, it took forever for me to Google the name of this movie, but apparently it’s Jupiter’s Darling, directed by George Sidney in 1955.  Howard Keel is Hannibal.  It’s a barbarian/beauty romance, yay!

  5. 5
    lexie says:

    She was totally checking out his package when he stood on the table! I misheard for the first minute or so and thought he was singing “I never touch a woman…”

  6. 6
    kathybaug says:

    Ah, Howard Keel, how I love him!  He played lots of alpha males, must have been the time period.  Two of my favorite films that he starred in were ‘Kiss Me Kate’ and ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers’.  In both, he tries to dominate the heroine, and succeeds at first, but is brought down by the love he can no longer deny :)  Great singing and wonderful dancing!

  7. 7
    Bethany says:

    At :24 seconds when he threw his leg up on the bed I was extremely disappointed that there were no dangly parts revealed.  I wonder if he taped himself up.  Or maybe unlike kilts, gladiators did wear underwear.  Sigh.

  8. 8
    Becky says:

    He must have worn underwear.  Otherwise, the expression would be “doing a Howard” instead of “doing a Britney.”

  9. 9
    Kay says:

    Oh Howard

    I have had a crush on him since I was six, even after watching him kidnap women for his brothers to take as wives.  But with that voice he gets away with anything in my book…

  10. 10
    Flo says:

    Oh Howard Keel how I lust after your voice!

    Annnddd… the rest of you isn’t too bad either.

    Now I feel a strange urge to go watch Seven Bridges for Seven Brothers.  Although after seeing that I’m not sure I can’t get through the lonely polecat song and dance without laughing hysterically.

  11. 11
    JoAnn Ross says:

    Okay, although I have an impending deadline, a cross-country move (with three dogs) to make and shouldn’t be playing online after spending way too much time looking at satellite views of potential houses, this was too horribly scary/fascinating to resist. 

    Like Bethany, I kept waiting for dangly bits.  And, although Keel’s barbarian mentioned the dreaded “bodice” word, I was hugely disappointed he went the entire song without ripping the redhead’s bodice.   

    Thanks for the Friday laugh!

  12. 12
    BeckyAnn says:

    I kept expecting a break in at the end of the Nair jingle “I wear short skirts!”

  13. 13
    Lisa says:

    Those last lyrics needed to be changed: “I’d take my trusty dagger/ and boy, I’d like to shag her!”

    Alternately, a new version of The Little Mermaid: “Look at my crotch. Isn’t it neat?”

  14. 14
    Melissandre says:

    I feel a burning urge to see this movie.  It can only get cheesier and sillier; the chick is Esther Williams, so there will of course be water numbers.  How they work those into a sword and sandal movie, I have no idea.

    Meanwhile, is this the first time ever when the man’s skirt is shorter than the woman’s?

  15. 15
    JoAnn Ross says:

    Ooh! That’s who that is!  Wow.  The possibility of a barbarian AND a choreographed water ballet in one movie!  Be still my heaving bodice!

    I think Mel and Russell both did shorter skirts than their women’s in Braveheart and Gladiator.  But nowhere near as short as Howard’s fish scales.

  16. 16
    CupK8 says:

    Ahhh Howard Keel! *swoons*

    I can’t wait to get home and watch this. :)

  17. 17
    joykenn says:

    I missed this one!  Wow, I loved 7 brides for 7 brothers and Kiss Me Kate is one of the greatest ever with fantastic supporting characters and dancing.  But Esther Williams swimming around Hannibal (uh, Howard Keel) is got to be the top of camp.  She was a fantastic swimmer but not much of an actress.  LUV, LUV his costume and it is a moving romance cover.  Her laid out on a bed draped with furs and him in a short kilt leaning over her with his glorious voice in a cheesy song.  BEST EVER Friday video.

  18. 18
    Melissandre says:

    Meanwhile, if anyone was needing more blatant phallic imagery from this video, here it is:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGzLRNvPR40

    This must be the scene where the Alpha Male makes up for being a jerk earlier, and gives lots of bruising kisses.

    Confirmation word: certain69.  ‘nuff said.

  19. 19
    JoAnn Ross says:

    OMG.  He’s going to make love to her on those rocks?  Can you say Road Rash???  Being such a barbarian, he probably won’t let her be on top.

  20. 20
    Melissandre says:

    Maybe he’ll make a pelt out of that leopard for her to lie on.  That’s suitably manly behavior.

  21. 21
    Keri Stevens says:

    Hey,
    If anyone could pull off a fish-scale skirt, it was Howard Keel. I, for one, always wanted to see Howard Keel pull off a fish-scale skirt.

    Pitter-patter.

  22. 22
    JoAnn Ross says:

    A pelt!  Of course!  Why didn’t I think of that?  Then he can roast what’s left of the leopard over a fire and hand feed her meat from the tip of his hot hemale dagger.

  23. 23
    TaraL says:

    I gotta say, I’m a sucker for all those old musicals. Howard Keel was always one of my favorites but I haven’t seen this movie before. Apparently it wasn’t a big hit.

    It’s easy to see where we get so much of the Old Skool, Alpha Hero-type behavior when you see clips like this because I’m sure many of the authors my age and older grew up watching this type of movie, too. It’s amazing that it’s still popping up in newer books, too. It’s just more subtle. Books would be bouncing off walls everywhere if it wasn’t.

    @ JoAnn Ross:  When you hit a certain age, your (increasingly padded) backside can handle the road rash better than your knees can handle the rocks. Sad but true… :o)

  24. 24
    Moth says:

    Me and my sister totally squeed when we saw you’d put this up! Yay!

  25. 25
    JoAnn Ross says:

    It’s amazing that it’s still popping up in newer books, too. It’s just more subtle. Books would be bouncing off walls everywhere if it wasn’t.

    I believe that’s part of the current appeal of vampires, shapeshifters, and all those HQ sheikhs.  They can get away with a lot more dragging-by-the-hair behavior than other contemporary Alpha heroes because they’re not expected to be the least bit politically correct toward their women folk.  The way romance heroes used to be in those old ‘80s historicals.

    Ooh, ouch!  Didn’t think about the knees.  Good point, TaraL!!

  26. 26
    Melissandre says:

    Her knees!  So that’s what he’s using his greaves for!  I wondered why Howard was wandering around the ancient world without leg protection.  He thoughtfully gave armor to his woman, the better to engage in some rock sex.

  27. 27
    TaraL says:

    I believe that’s part of the current appeal of vampires, shapeshifters, and all those HQ sheikhs.  They can get away with a lot more dragging-by-the-hair behavior than other contemporary Alpha heroes because they’re not expected to be the least bit politically correct toward their women folk.

    True. I always forget how popular those are. I know I’m outside the norm, but I rarely read any of those types of books. I think the last time I read a book with “Sheikh” in the title was probably the late ‘70s. (LOL. Kinda like the way I haven’t read a book with “Virgin” in the title since I was one. Not really seeing the appeal there.) Yet, I still enjoy watching those old musicals. I guess the obviously painted backdrops and the spontaneous bursts of song and dance help me keep it firmly in the realm of fantasy and keep me from thinking,  “Boy, I’m glad I’m not married to this _____!”

    Watched the second clip one more time and I really hope for Esther’s sake he takes off those fish scales before they get busy. It looks like they could be real nipple rippers. Scary.

  28. 28
    Cristiane Young says:

    Howard Keel looked mighty good in tights, too (Kiss Me, Kate).  This movie is an amazing chunk of cheddar.  There’s even a number where Marge and Gower Champion dance with elephants.  Sadly, it’s pretty boring between numbers.

  29. 29
    kathybaug says:

    @ Cristiane—yes, he did look good in tights!  But Marge and Gower Champion were not in Kiss Me Kate.  I believe they were in Showboat.  Showboat was pure melodrama (and I can believe it was boring between musical numbers), but Kiss Me Kate is farce.  Lots of clever dialogue and several stories going on at once.

  30. 30
    Kat says:

    I don’t know why, but this just reminded me of the 80s action movies and this web site that does “ruthless reviews.” Hilarious. Talks about homoerotic action figures…of course, they did not burst into song like Howard.
    http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/3759/the-ruthless-guide-to-80s-action/

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