First: will the party who informed the bugs that I am in the state please refer back to the Treaty of South Carolina 1993, wherein all bugs that (a) bite and that I am (b) allergic to (which is, for the record, ALL of them) agreed to leave me alone whenever I migrate south of the Mason-Dixon line, and remind said bugs that the treaty is in effect in perpetuity? Kthxbye. (I’m going to need some Benadryl like holy shit.)
Once the flying part of my travel was done, I arrived in a cool, windy, NOT raining Durham, where everyone was, even at 1 in the damn morning, super friendly. Hello The South. I missed you. (I went to college in South Carolina, if y’all didn’t know. I have a temporary license to use the word “y’all” though have been informed that I still have “an accent.”)
I’d made a reservation for a rental car while sitting on the floor of the Newark airport, pinch-hitting for Dear Author during #RRTheatre and stealing wifi from the Continental first class lounge. I’d signed up for the rental frequent something or other club online, too. Gotta love tabbed browsing. When I arrived, they knew me by name, had a car ready for me, and off I went to the far reaches of the parking lot. Then they greeted me at the gate (it was 2am by this point) and made sure I knew where I was going, and double checked my directions on my iPhone to make sure they were right. They also had to show me how to roll the window down because the Chevy HHR window controls are… in the middle of the car, near the floor. No kidding. Good thing they told me.
I’ve been informed that North Carolina barbecue is in my immediate future (yum) and then at 2pm I’ll be at the Durham Barnes and Noble at New Hope Commons. I hear rumors of a big giveaway courtesy of Touchstone Pictures, so if you’re on the fence about hearing me talk about Bosoms, a potential prize may sweeten the temptation. Plus, since this is as close as I get to South Carolina, a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in … holy crap… maybe 8 years is driving up from Columbia with her new husband, whom I haven’t met. There may be squeeing, and I might possibly cry.
I know several readers of Ye Olde Hot Pink Bitchery are planning to be there, plus Sarah F. and Sonja Foust and Jane Drew and Jen the Fabulous Librarian from Durham. It should make for a fun afternoon. Hope you can join us. I’ll be the loud one who talks funny.