Crimes Against Woodworking

A special message to all those writing, editing, and publishing in the field of erotica and erotic romance:

I understand there’s a limited lexicon when it comes to describing a blow job. The lexicon of sex on the whole (hur) is already pretty stingy, and thus we continually face the word “nub” or, God forbid, “nubbin.”

However, for the sake of future generations, I must act now and correct any misunderstandings.

THIS is a lathe.

It is NOT SOMETHING ANY MAN WANTS DONE TO HIS MANJUNK.

To quote Wikipedia, a lathe is “a machine tool which spins a block of material to perform various operations such as cutting, sanding, knurling, drilling, or deformation with tools that are applied to the workpiece to create an object which has symmetry about an axis of rotation.”

Pay attention to the action at 2:40 -3:00 for a full color video of what you’re saying is happening to the man’s little thunder rod.

You can also see what a lathe can accomplish when applied to a big, hard, massive piece of wood.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS TURGID, STOP USING THE WORD LATHE.

The word you’re looking for is “lave,” which is Latin in origin and means “to wash, bathe, flow along or against.”

This is a far cry from “She wedged his erection between two drill points, spun it at over 2200 rpm and applied a sharp edge to the outside to carve away the unwanted wood.”

Are we clear now? If she’s “lathing” him, he’s not going to enjoy it. And if I read any use of the word “lathe,” you’ll be charged with Crimes Against Woodworking and put in the stocks for 24 hours. I’ve encountered this too many times to keep silent any longer. It is no more correct than a character saying they “could of” done something. NO. More. LATHE.

Now to work on the word “nubbin.”

 

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