It’s Bosoms Day, and folks everywhere are heading to the bookstores to find themselves some Heaving Bosoms. But soft, what hunt through yonder bookshelf yields? It is confusion, for the Bosoms are hiding in the strangest of places!
MANY people have sent in hilarious pictures of the bosoms – and I have them ready to upload. Trouble is, right now we’re online across five servers due to increased traffic, and the upshot is that anything I upload may not consistently be available. But fear not – Bosom Sightings are plentiful! And hilarious!
But in bookstores? Oh boy. Anne Douglas just sent me this TwitPic and… is that a Welty I see beside me? The Optimists Daughter? I am so flattered but… Welty writes the fiction! The Bosoms are not the fiction! According to Anne, the staff called it CritLit – which, I suppose is better than “clitlit” for delisting dangers – and shelved it in fiction. Oh boy.
Then comes this story from Kimmie, which made me laugh so hard I choked:
I did find it in the bookstore, but I couldn’t take a picture of my find, as the manager of the store was disinclined to let me in her office. But the story’s worth telling, if only to help the Bitchery find It in their bookstores.
This past Friday, I made a stop to the Tukwila, WA Barnes and Noble. I was there for something else, but decided to ask the help desk to put aside the Book when it came out on the 14th (15th? or is that tax day?) The very helpful clerk looked in the computer a saw that they actually HAD one copy in the store. It was listed as being in Literature Analysis. She kinda frowned, and told me that they don’t even have a section like in that in the store. But, she KNEW that book was here, the computer said so! So she takes me over to the fiction section, saying that they’ve taken to shelving the critic-type books with the books they’re critiquing. So, we’re digging through the fiction shelves, no Wendell, no Tan. We check with the Romances, no Wendell, no Tan. So the clerk decides to call the manager, to see if the manager might know where they shelved it.
Watching the clerk’s face while she is talking to the manager was priceless. It went from salesclerk-polite, to incredulous, to out-right laughter. The clerk hung up the phone, and said, “The manager’s holding it in her hands right now. I’ll go to her office and pry it off of her.”
Standing next to the office doors, I couldn’t help but hear the wail: “Why on EARTH did they only SEND US ONE COPY?!?!?”
But it’s mine now! It’s in my TBR @ lunch pile.
So to all the Bitchery: look in Fiction and Literature at B&N for the Book, with the secondary location in Romance. There is NOTHING like hearing a salesclerk yell, “I’m looking for Heaving Bosoms!”
Now that is the fun that is funny. I just spoke to Bob, the manager at the Tukwila store, who says they’re going to be hand-selling the book based on the manager’s reaction and the number of romance customers they have in that store. He’s also been introduced to the term “man titty” and, much like everyone else with whom we’ve worked on the book’s publication, it’s now part of his daily vocabulary.
Stay tuned for the complete collection of Bosom Sightings, and happy Bosom Hunting!
That recount is absolutely priceless!!!!
it would have been better if the manager had taken the book for herself.
I found it at Barnes and Noble in Hingham, MA—only didn’t. Asked the lady at the snob desk an got a dirty look for saying the title out loud.
“We MAY have one copy. Literary Criticism.”
They don’t have a LC section, but do have a Writing Guide type section. It wasn’t there. I checked Fiction and Romance, too. Nada.
Snob director was disinclined to help me… as usual.
I pay more at Borders and used to love my BN discount, but they are just FREAKING NASTY in that store.
Ahhh… so it’s not just my B&N stocking it in Fiction and Literature!
When I went in this am, I wasn’t quite sure where it would be located so I went to the desk. The clerk there reads out loud “Beyond Heaving Bosoms, a Smart Bitches guide to Romance Novels” in this BIG voice. The look on the elderly man’s face on the other side of the desk was priceless!
She wasn’t exactly sure what crit lit was, so she called over another guy…imagine one of the guys from Big Bang Theory reading reading the title… it was classic, to say the least 🙂 He marched off with a grin to find me the book (2 on the shelf I now own 1). When I went back to the desk a few minutes later about another book, Bosoms in hand (which must have look mightily ironic as I am rather bosomly endowed), the first clerk was toots interested in the book so I sold it up big time (she was rather impressed when I asked her if she knew about the Cassie Edwards scandal, and in fact, these two women ran the website that broke the story!). Slightly nerdy redhaired guy was still in the background getting his chuckle on… who know just WHO might be reading BHB by the end of the day!
Oh and I forgot to say – they were filed… I did a little reshuffling and faced them out 🙂
The Barnes & Noble in west Little Rock, Arkansas, hadn’t shelved Beyond Heaving Bosoms yet. It was still on the cart in the back of the store. However, I did buy a copy. I’ll be in LR again on Saturday. I’ll see if I can get a picture then. And they did have it listed as Fiction/Literature Crit.
One of the other books I was looking for—the Black Lace antho Seduction with one of my stories in it—wasn’t on the shelves yet either. And customer service dude couldn’t find it at all, even though he tried! The CSRs in that store are always very helpful but evidently short staffed since both books were officially released today!
My small local indie bookstore didn’t have it, so I special ordered a copy. I picked it up in the store, hoping that while it was waiting for me someone who worked there might feel the love. I don’t know, though. They don’t have a romance section, though they’ll order them if you want ‘em. For a hilarious picture, I might have to put it on my own book shelf.
OMG! I must have this book now too. Love your site and added you to my blogroll.
Not only did I spot it, I bought it from my local B&N today. Photographic evidence (from my cell phone, unfortunately) on its way shortly.
(It was stocked with the Literary Theory.)
I didn’t get to go Bosom hunting today, but I’m happy for you and Candy! Congrats on your release day!
Kimmie’s story made my day. I never seem to get anything more than odd looks in the bookstore.
May all your Bosoms Heave well into the next decade! With mine in hand, I shall read and laugh all evening thinking about that poor B & N manager.
My local Borders has no Bosoms, but all the BN’s in New Orleans show Bosoms in stock. No Bosoms in New Orleans just seems wrong!
with the help of an employee, i found mine in the literary criticism section (which was more like a shelf and a half) at barnes and noble—on april 12, strangely enough, since i forgot about the concept of “release date” (and apparently, so did that barnes and noble). i would have gotten a picture, but she was standing right there, and past experience has taught me (at a victoria’s secret, which is a fun story for another day) that stores generally frown upon pictures being taken at/of their location.
I pre-ordered my copy and picked it up at B&N on Saturday. I want to say that the folks who work at my local B&N are all very helpful and so kind. When I pre-ordered it, the woman who helped me loved the title and when I checked out, the cashier wrote down the title and the website! I’m already halfway through it and have laughed out loud more than once.
Awesome job, Bitches!
verification word: labor99 which it must have seemed like 99 days of labor waiting for today!
I pre-ordered from my local Hastings, but they said it would be delayed til the 30th. So I went one town over to the Boise Hastings, and lo! Success! They’ve got a nice spot on the new table, and are stocking it in humor next to Dilbert and Opus. Joy!
Smart Bitch Law 1 is awesome! Verily.
That was probably the most fun I have ever had at a bookstore. All of the clerks were smiling and laughing by the time I got that book in my hot little hands.
The staff at that B&N is always awesome.
Picked it up at the Portsmouth, NH B&N tonight. There were 2 copies shelved with the Lit Crit- fortunately, I found an employee who did know where that shelf was. (Sorry no pic.)
Loving the book already!
I saw a copy in the literary criticism section at B&N in Franklin, TN. I also went onto Worldcat.org just out of curiosity and noticed that 15 libraries already have it in. I expect that list to keep growing.
The single copy in the Santa Rosa, CA, Barnes & Noble was shelved in Lit Crit. BUT that’s only half a shelf of books (WTF?), and the rest of that section is Westerns. Yep; the Bitches’ book sits above the label “Literary Criticism/Westerns” and underneath a huge “Westerns” sign. I got pictures, but I can’t get them off my phone. I’ll keep trying.
If anyone local is looking for this book, I left it there—I already have my copy, but I couldn’t resist seeing where B&N had shelved it.
I was going to use my Borders coupon to pick up a copy, but according to their online stock search, no Heaving Bosoms in the NY Metro area. How can that possibly be?
its true…there are no Heaving Bossoms at Borders in NYC. I ordered mine on their website and had it delivered to the store, so i don’t have to pay shipping. i’m on my way to pick it up now. B&N has it though.