The Hunt for Heaving Bosoms: Pictures!

Behold: the Heaving Bosoms Hunt Photographs! After we challenged the Bitchery to find the Bosoms in the wild, oh boy, did you deliver.

There are so many pictures of Bosoms it’s a long, long entry, so enjoy. The winner of the $100 bookstore giftcard for finding the first evidence of the Bosoms in a bookstore will be announced at the end. But! But but! Everyone’s a winnah! If your pics are here (or if you sent ‘em and I missed them, please nudge!) please email me (sarah @ with the subject line “Bosom Sighting Prize” (I can’t even tell you what the inbox looks like OMG). Bosom hunters get prize booty, though. We’re going crazy here in Bitchery HQ.

First: international Bosoms! Bhetti has her Bosoms overlooking the Canary Wharf. Whoo hoo!

Western Bosoms? Riding High!

Barb Ferrer found the bosoms.


I shit you not:

Okay, so I decided to torture the poor salesclerk who couldn’t spell Trotsky.  I asked him to find me the Bosoms.  He asked me three times for the book title—each time I repeated it, I said it louder.  I had already looked in Literary Criticism, which, in most B&Ns, is going to be directly adjacent to Essays, which is, in turn, near Drama.

But!  There appears to be a subset of LitCrit that is reserved for individual types of books and that was located (wait for it)

…at the end of Literature and Fiction, on the bottom shelf of Westerns.

Bosoms say YeeHaw! Wait, no, really. YEE HAW!

Down in Houston, Texas, one Barnes and Noble had THREE copies of the Bosoms. OMG. THREE?!?!

I love that the Bosoms are happily ensconced in fiction (even though not all of the Bosoms are fiction; most of the Bosoms are non-fiction) and am even MORE pleased to be so close to a book by Michael Lee West called “Crazy Ladies.” Why, yes, how did you know?!

Thanks to anonymous for the pictures. You’re exceptionally awesome!

Silver James found her Bosoms had been abducted by her garden Loch Ness Monster:

Unfortunately, there were no kilted Highlanders to come to my rescue and the animal control officer laughed at me (though she wants to borrow the book when I’m done!). With brave daring do, I rescued the tome myself, and am now happily ensconced reading it!

Barbara has problems. After the Bosoms leaned up against her front door… her daughter attempted to make off with them:

My daughter happily posed with the book. Then I swooped in and took it away before she could start reading it because I am terrible at sharing. And she’s only seven so is a SB-in-training….

I am chomping at the bit to read the book—my in-laws arrived shortly after arrival and I’ve been playing tour guide and hostess. I need to switch out my purse to a bigger bag so I can bring it to Mt Vernon this morning…they can view the house, I’ll sit on the pourch and read. Is that rude?!?!

Oh, hell no. Bosoms at Mt. Vernon? Perfect!

And thanks for giving me the ok to include the pic of your daughter. Now that’s a heroine in the making. Holy smoke.

BookWyrm came home to find the Bosoms dancing on the ceiling amidst some man titty.

Specifically, the mantitty of Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora.


Jaci Burton‘s husband took one for the team by posing with the Bosoms on his Harley as per my invitation in the original Hunting for Heaving Bosoms post.

Says Jaci, “He was even reading it while I was snapping shots. LoL!”

Question is: DID he give them BACK!?

Shelley found the Bosoms in the hands of some dolls:

Molly and her friend Emily, American (and English) Girls of 1944. Rather than stealing their mothers’ romance novels, they’ve managed to steal their granddaughters’. They’re learning about awesome romance young, and early.

Hope they like the part about the Jung. And the Wang. (Dear God, we’re corrupting American Girls dolls.)

Sonoma Lass found all her other books came out to play when the Bosoms arrived. She says, “Be careful.  You will be judged by the company you keep.”

Dude. I wanna hang out with her copy.

RebyJ says her husband enjoyed our Bosoms whilst getting a haircut. She wrote a whole blog entry about the experience (with pics!!) and the best part:

NOTHING is more funny than having a man read mantitty out loud to you. He was gasping laughing as he read it and it was the most fun we’ve had in a long time. The hymen discussion led to a 15 minute discussion of female fun parts.

Bosoms: bringing spouses together since a few days ago.  le sigh

Miri delivered unto us a singular compliment, the likes of which I have rarely received. Even Hubby was impressed. Miri says, “My copy of BHB is here! I put it in the only place where I can grab any peace and quiet in my house. TMI? Perhaphs, but, am I right?”

Yes. You are right.

Keira Soleore has been fighting with her husband over the Bosoms: “The Bosoms are presently touring Disneyland. Luck was with them this morning as they chanced a meeting with their knight in shinning armor right outside Sleeping Beauty’s castle.The book’s a constant tussle between Hubby and I; when one puts it down, the other picks it up. Rip-roaring good times.”

Caty sends pictures of her bookshelf in the UK, where the bosoms are “getting along well with its neighbours: it’s very friendly with the shelf of Julia Quinn books, and it hasn’t starting fighting with the lit fic behind it yet, although I have a bucket of water on hand just in case.  Now I just need to know what to feed it on.  I wouldn’t want it to become malnourished, or to get so hungry in the night it escapes in search of textbooks to eat.  And should I try to find a mate for it, to stop it getting lonely?”

I don’t know if that’s advisable, but who knows? I’m curious what type of heroic man the Bosoms prefer. What do you think?

Ravyn said, “I did not see the book on the shelf…believe me I looked! I had pre-ordered it from the store, so I thought it fitting that I take a picture of it … outside the store.”

I got yer Bosoms RIGHT HERE!!

Rachel texted me very close to home, up in Hackensack, NJ, where she found Bosoms – in the Essays section, down at the bottom.

Really? No, Essays?

Randi found the only copy of the Bosoms at the Plymouth Meeting, PA, Barnes and Noble… in the literary theory section, holy shit.

And look at the book snuggling up to the Bosoms on the shelf!

I got your Joy RIGHT HERE, BABY. MWAH! MWAH MWAH! Lit Theory baby. WORD.

Michelle, holy crap, found the Bosoms – IN THE ROMANCE SECTION of the Mesa, AZ, Barnes and Noble. OMGWTFWIN! Candy’s gonna crap her pants if she finds Bosoms next to Anne Stuart.

But the total WTF of the hunt for Bosoms is provided by Brandyllyn, who, while hunting for the Bosoms in her Books a Million, was stymied along with the salesperson while looking in the “humor” section, where the computer said it would be.

Oh, no. Check out where the Bosoms are:

Eventually, we involved the store manager who found the three missing copies.

On the ‘Mother’s Day Reading’ table.  Right next to Hugs for Mom.

I was going to do a photo-shoot when I got my copy, but I’m not sure the sheer WTFuckery of this could be topped.  “Here mom, have fun with the Smart Bitches.  What does cuntmonkey mean?  Uh… go ask dad.”

I actually ended up buying a copy there as well (I shall be gifting it) because I got to page forty-something and didn’t want to put it down.

Jesus Flapjack Jones. We are next to Hollywood Pregnancy Secrets, and southwest of Kathie Lee Gifford. Mother of pearl. I am floored.

Snarkhunter send some pics from the Barnes and Noble in State College, PA, and behold, the Bosoms in Happy Valley. And a booby in the wild.
Just because.

And three cheers for Nadine, who provided the very first picture of Bosoms in the Wild: at Barnes and Noble, after going to two different store locations, she located the Bosoms finally in “Fiction and Literature.”

Appreciate the compliment there, BN, but, it’s not the fiction, k? Even though seeing it sandwiched between The Optimist’s Daughter and The Clowns of God (BWAHAHHA) is totally damn awesome.  Really. Truly excellent.

And then Nadine’s copy of the Bosoms had one hell of a partay!!

Thank you to everyone who Hunted Bosoms. The Hunt continues until the prizes run out, or until April 30, whichever comes first. So if you spot the Bosoms, let me know. And happy reading!


General Bitching...

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    sadieloree says:

    Frustratingly (is that a word?),  my Borders store does not yet have bosoms. It should be in our next shipment. So while the other local branches get to show off their shiny new bosoms, my store is left bereft.  I am bosomless.  Bummer.

  2. 2
    Nadia (aka Nadine) says:

    I win, I win, I win!  Best decision made last Friday:  Drive the 20 minutes to the other store because I just couldn’t wait.

    42 Barbies and 3 Kens in various stages of undress agreed that the book is made of awesome.  Then they returned to their regularly scheduled nekkid Barbie orgy in the toybox.

  3. 3
    rebyj says:

    That book has obviously had more fun than any bitch on the planet!!
    Fun pics, can’t wait to see more!

  4. 4
    IL#2 says:

    Just so you know, the Iron Mother-in-Law (aka Mother of IL#1) will be receiving a signed copy for Mother’s Day.  So we think it belongs on the Mother’s Day table.

  5. 5
    Phyllis says:

    I have no idea where the woman in B&N finally found it. She kept searching for Cindy Tan (sorry Sarah, I couldn’t think of your last name) and then spelling it “bossoms”. She only even found they had it when she let me look at the screen and I could correct her. Um, hello? I thought they hired literate people here? And then it wasn’t where it’s supposed to go…

  6. 6
    Bhetti says:

    I am both full of squee and shame that my blurry phone pic is first. I can’t afford a better camera, I am clearly spending the money on Bosoms instead. Yay!

    I love the Mother’s Day one best… !

  7. 7
    Barb Ferrer says:

    I thought they hired literate people here? And then it wasn’t where it’s supposed to go…

    Phyllis, my sales clerk had trouble with Trotsky.  (For the customer ahead of me—a Very Serious Girl reading the Russians.  It was fun seeing her face when I asked for the Bosoms.)

    And yes, Westerns.  Oy.  And mine was blurry because I was crammed between two columns of manga to try to get the whole bookshelf in the image.

  8. 8
    Phyllis says:

    in your picture, there’s a book about english lit next to it – maybe the lit crit section was next and had spread into westerns? ride em cowboy.

  9. 9
    SonomaLass says:

    My B&N has lit crit next to westerns, and the lit crit is only half a shelf, so there’s a big “Westerns” sign right over the Bosoms.  But the picture is stuck on my phone, so I’m glad Barb got that shot.

  10. 10
    ev says:

    Mine wrapped itself like a Xmas present since it was the only way it could keep its mouth, I mean cover, closed so close to those Holy Groins.

    I think Bosoms should be on every mother’s day table!

    My Border’s had to order it and it still isn’t in, but it did get another shipment of P&P& Zombies since it has sold out twice.

  11. 11
    Barb Ferrer says:

    in your picture, there’s a book about english lit next to it – maybe the lit crit section was next and had spread into westerns? ride em cowboy.

    Well, as I explained to Sarah, it’s like there were two separate sections for LitCrit.  (And jeez, I nearly typed LitClit—whoopsie.)  Anyhoo… there was a fairly substantial section adjacent to Essays, which was where I first looked and couldn’t find it.  That one was more general literary criticism, as opposed to aimed at specific books (although I did find this book there, which seemed wicked cool, so the search wasn’t completely for naught).  But after I tortured the poor sales clerk and he led me to Westerns, I realized that there was a slightly different section of LitCrit—why the difference, I have no clue, but it did make for a hilarious pic.  *g*

  12. 12
    Randi says:

    I went to Borders on Tuesday but they didn’t have it and didn’t have an order in. So on Wednesday, I went to B&N and nabbed me the only copy. What’s up with Borders?

    I am, though, highly entertained with all the various places B&N has placed the Bosoms…cracking me up. Hopefully, my mom will get her copy in a few days. Can’t wait!!!!!

    recently97: um…that was like 12 years ago…

  13. 13

    But!  There appears to be a subset of LitCrit that is reserved for individual types of books and that was located (wait for it)

    …at the end of Literature and Fiction, on the bottom shelf of Westerns.

    Granted, it’s been YEARS since I worked for BN, but if you look at the picture of the ‘western’ section carefully, you’ll notice a label on the bottom shelf. It’s a kroy label. That isn’t a subset of the main shelf category. What it means is that the store in question didn’t have enough Westerns to fill the bay and person in charge of the section and/or the shelvers shifted part of the contents of the next bay to the left to fill it up.

    Who gives a crap, right?

    My point is don’t blame the poor sap at the information desk (who is likely a starving college student anyway, since BN pays squat). It’s not a mistake or shelving error. It’s a standard practice at B&N. Anyone looking for a section should look at the black shelf labels and NOT just the big green signs.

  14. 14
    Ollie says:

    The clerk at the B&N I went to explained that they decided they didn’t have enough “Fic/Lit Crit” to justify its own shelf, so they just worked the titles into the general fiction section alpha by author or subject, since “most of the books in that section were about Austen, or Steinbeck, and so we just shelved them with that author.” I didn’t ask why the Bitches weren’t shelved with Romance, in that case.

  15. 15
    meezergrrrl says:

    Found it (and bought it, too…) at BN on N. Alafaya Trail in Orlando.

    Pictures to follow, as soon as I extract from my Blackberry.

  16. 16
    Lindsay says:

    Ok so I work at B. Dalton (aka the lil B&N) and because I love smart Bitches oh so very much, I decided to do this for your lovely book:


  17. 17
  18. 18
    Lyra says:

    !!! Which Houston B&N has three copies? I must go there and get it!

    Captcha: member28

    Um… Too easy. Way too easy.

  19. 19
    Nina says:

    I found it in “Humor”. One lone copy. And I took a picture with my phone. Too bad I ran out of play money. I would’ve bought it. But then, where would other folks looking for it be? Bookless. Bosomless. And that? That would be a tragedy.

  20. 20
    Staple says:

    I went to my bookstore a couple days before Bosoms was supposed to come out and asked if they had any on order. They didn’t, and the employee that I talked to said it looked like a book she would want to read, so she put 3 on order :) Still haven’t made it to the bookstore, but once finals are over…I’m totally there :)

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