Behold: the Heaving Bosoms Hunt Photographs! After we challenged the Bitchery to find the Bosoms in the wild, oh boy, did you deliver.
There are so many pictures of Bosoms it’s a long, long entry, so enjoy. The winner of the $100 bookstore giftcard for finding the first evidence of the Bosoms in a bookstore will be announced at the end. But! But but! Everyone’s a winnah! If your pics are here (or if you sent ‘em and I missed them, please nudge!) please email me (sarah @ smartbitchestrashybooks.com) with the subject line “Bosom Sighting Prize” (I can’t even tell you what the inbox looks like OMG). Bosom hunters get prize booty, though. We’re going crazy here in Bitchery HQ.
First: international Bosoms! Bhetti has her Bosoms overlooking the Canary Wharf. Whoo hoo!
Western Bosoms? Riding High!
Barb Ferrer found the bosoms.
I shit you not:
Okay, so I decided to torture the poor salesclerk who couldn’t spell Trotsky. I asked him to find me the Bosoms. He asked me three times for the book title—each time I repeated it, I said it louder. I had already looked in Literary Criticism, which, in most B&Ns, is going to be directly adjacent to Essays, which is, in turn, near Drama.
But! There appears to be a subset of LitCrit that is reserved for individual types of books and that was located (wait for it)
…at the end of Literature and Fiction, on the bottom shelf of Westerns.
Down in Houston, Texas, one Barnes and Noble had THREE copies of the Bosoms. OMG. THREE?!?!
I love that the Bosoms are happily ensconced in fiction (even though not all of the Bosoms are fiction; most of the Bosoms are non-fiction) and am even MORE pleased to be so close to a book by Michael Lee West called “Crazy Ladies.” Why, yes, how did you know?!
Thanks to anonymous for the pictures. You’re exceptionally awesome!
Silver James found her Bosoms had been abducted by her garden Loch Ness Monster:
Unfortunately, there were no kilted Highlanders to come to my rescue and the animal control officer laughed at me (though she wants to borrow the book when I’m done!). With brave daring do, I rescued the tome myself, and am now happily ensconced reading it!
Barbara has problems. After the Bosoms leaned up against her front door… her daughter attempted to make off with them:
My daughter happily posed with the book. Then I swooped in and took it away before she could start reading it because I am terrible at sharing. And she’s only seven so is a SB-in-training….
I am chomping at the bit to read the book—my in-laws arrived shortly after arrival and I’ve been playing tour guide and hostess. I need to switch out my purse to a bigger bag so I can bring it to Mt Vernon this morning…they can view the house, I’ll sit on the pourch and read. Is that rude?!?!
Oh, hell no. Bosoms at Mt. Vernon? Perfect!
And thanks for giving me the ok to include the pic of your daughter. Now that’s a heroine in the making. Holy smoke.
BookWyrm came home to find the Bosoms dancing on the ceiling amidst some man titty.
Specifically, the mantitty of Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora.
Says Jaci, “He was even reading it while I was snapping shots. LoL!”
Question is: DID he give them BACK!?
Shelley found the Bosoms in the hands of some dolls:
Molly and her friend Emily, American (and English) Girls of 1944. Rather than stealing their mothers’ romance novels, they’ve managed to steal their granddaughters’. They’re learning about awesome romance young, and early.
Hope they like the part about the Jung. And the Wang. (Dear God, we’re corrupting American Girls dolls.)
Sonoma Lass found all her other books came out to play when the Bosoms arrived. She says, “Be careful. You will be judged by the company you keep.”
Dude. I wanna hang out with her copy.
RebyJ says her husband enjoyed our Bosoms whilst getting a haircut. She wrote a whole blog entry about the experience (with pics!!) and the best part:
NOTHING is more funny than having a man read mantitty out loud to you. He was gasping laughing as he read it and it was the most fun we’ve had in a long time. The hymen discussion led to a 15 minute discussion of female fun parts.
Bosoms: bringing spouses together since a few days ago. le sigh
Miri delivered unto us a singular compliment, the likes of which I have rarely received. Even Hubby was impressed. Miri says, “My copy of BHB is here! I put it in the only place where I can grab any peace and quiet in my house. TMI? Perhaphs, but, am I right?”
Keira Soleore has been fighting with her husband over the Bosoms: “The Bosoms are presently touring Disneyland. Luck was with them this morning as they chanced a meeting with their knight in shinning armor right outside Sleeping Beauty’s castle.The book’s a constant tussle between Hubby and I; when one puts it down, the other picks it up. Rip-roaring good times.”
Caty sends pictures of her bookshelf in the UK, where the bosoms are “getting along well with its neighbours: it’s very friendly with the shelf of Julia Quinn books, and it hasn’t starting fighting with the lit fic behind it yet, although I have a bucket of water on hand just in case. Now I just need to know what to feed it on. I wouldn’t want it to become malnourished, or to get so hungry in the night it escapes in search of textbooks to eat. And should I try to find a mate for it, to stop it getting lonely?”
I don’t know if that’s advisable, but who knows? I’m curious what type of heroic man the Bosoms prefer. What do you think?
Ravyn said, “I did not see the book on the shelf…believe me I looked! I had pre-ordered it from the store, so I thought it fitting that I take a picture of it … outside the store.”
I got yer Bosoms RIGHT HERE!!
Rachel texted me very close to home, up in Hackensack, NJ, where she found Bosoms – in the Essays section, down at the bottom.
Randi found the only copy of the Bosoms at the Plymouth Meeting, PA, Barnes and Noble… in the literary theory section, holy shit.
And look at the book snuggling up to the Bosoms on the shelf!
Michelle, holy crap, found the Bosoms – IN THE ROMANCE SECTION of the Mesa, AZ, Barnes and Noble. OMGWTFWIN! Candy’s gonna crap her pants if she finds Bosoms next to Anne Stuart.
But the total WTF of the hunt for Bosoms is provided by Brandyllyn, who, while hunting for the Bosoms in her Books a Million, was stymied along with the salesperson while looking in the “humor” section, where the computer said it would be.
Oh, no. Check out where the Bosoms are:
Eventually, we involved the store manager who found the three missing copies.
On the ‘Mother’s Day Reading’ table. Right next to Hugs for Mom.
I was going to do a photo-shoot when I got my copy, but I’m not sure the sheer WTFuckery of this could be topped. “Here mom, have fun with the Smart Bitches. What does cuntmonkey mean? Uh… go ask dad.”
I actually ended up buying a copy there as well (I shall be gifting it) because I got to page forty-something and didn’t want to put it down.
And three cheers for Nadine, who provided the very first picture of Bosoms in the Wild: at Barnes and Noble, after going to two different store locations, she located the Bosoms finally in “Fiction and Literature.”
Appreciate the compliment there, BN, but, it’s not the fiction, k? Even though seeing it sandwiched between The Optimist’s Daughter and The Clowns of God (BWAHAHHA) is totally damn awesome. Really. Truly excellent.
Thank you to everyone who Hunted Bosoms. The Hunt continues until the prizes run out, or until April 30, whichever comes first. So if you spot the Bosoms, let me know. And happy reading!