Brenda Janowitz Hosts Excerpts from ICH Handbook

Over at Brenda Janowitz’ blog, we have a special, sneaky treat. A copy of the The International Consortium of Heroes’ supah-sekret Handbook (really, more like guidelines) of Romantic Hero Conduct has mysteriously found its way into Smart Bitch Candy’s hands, and behold, there art excerpts and funny bits to be read:

Thanks to an Anonymous Source, we here at Smart Bitch Central have in our hot little hands the International Consortium of Heroes’ Manly Handbook to Heroic Behavior, the official ICH Guidebook for all things manly and heroic. Previously kept secret and circulated only among member heroes, this guide details what it takes to be a romance hero; some of the recommendations are nothing less than shocking. In a series of articles, Smart Bitches are publishing several different portions of the ICH Handbook; our purpose is to shine a light on the monopolistic practices of the ICH and to bring transparency to the hero-making process. None of the text has been edited; omissions are indicated by [. . .].

Have a look-see.

Thanks to Brenda for hosting us, and to Candy for braving the imminent legal action by bringing the ICH’s Handbook to light for the betterment of romance writers everywhere.


General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Willa says:

    This is genius:

    for the vast majority of heroes, falling in love with the heroine represents an emotional deflowering akin to a heroine’s loss of virginity. We therefore recommend that you protect this tender bud of emotional vulnerability well-guarded with a series of emotionally unfulfilling—even psychically damaging, for the more adventurous of you who wish to peg the needle on the angst-meter—relationships. Just remember: physical whoring is not a problem; it is, in fact, recommended for certain hero archetypes. Emotional whoring, on the other hand, is deeply frowned upon; just as the heroine is a whore if she has enjoyed sexual relations with anybody other than you, you, as a hero, are an emotional whore if you fall in love with anybody else other than the heroine.

    Quoted for truth.

  2. 2
    cate says:

    What a scoop for the Smarties !
    I look forward to more revelations from the ICH.
    In particular, does a Manly Man/Heroic Henry   weep like a girlie when they have the old back,sac,crack wax, prior to their cover photograph with the obligatory Drooping Dora ?
      Or do they resort to the slighly more wussy shave !

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