Captions Please?

I’m working on building a site for myself – well, I’m not working on it. Moxie is working on it. But I’m building a site that will host more info about me as unofficial man titty media pundit, with workshop ideas, speaking topics, and general mayhem and hilarity. I figure, better to place that info in a separate venue since most of you fabulously dressed ladies come to the hot pink palace of Bitchery for the romance discussion, not the Sarah self-pimping. I’m squidgy about the self-pimping enough as it is.

I’m having a ball with one of the design elements but am stuck on two of them. I’m captioning a few classic-style photos with romance-themed commentary, and wanted to ask for your help. Check ‘em out, and if you have a caption suggestion, leave it in the comments. If I pick yours, you’ll see your brilliance as part of a random sequence of photographs on the soon-to-be-built site, and I’ll send you a signed copy of the book. What book? You know what book. Don’t be silly.


Cha cha cha!

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  1. 1
    Bev Stephans says:


    “I’ve got my hand on your ass and I’m about to save your life!”

    I can’t come up with one for CHA CHA!

  2. 2
    anon says:

    Cha! cha! cha!

    She: I’m so glad you don’t mind my big feet, dear. I hope you know I won’t mind your big…
    He: Ears?

  3. 3
    ocelott says:


    “Wow, your right arm is so much more muscular than your left arm!  It’s almost like you’ve been doing a one-arm workout or something.”

  4. 4
    she reads says:

    in that moment she realized three things- that he used more product in his hair than she did, that his kisses did nothing for her, and that he’d never be the hero in the romance novel of her life…

  5. 5
    Sarah W says:


    “Oh, Jimmy, you know I won’t be that kind of girl until at least page 213!”

  6. 6
    she reads says:

    cha cha cha:
    they both knew this dance was eventually headed from the living room to his bedroom for wild unbridled passion.  She was just waiting for the right moment to bust a move…

  7. 7
    Sarah W says:

    Cha! Cha! Cha!

    “You know, dear, anything you can do, I can do backwards and in high heels.”

    “Darling! Promise me?”

  8. 8
    Gillian says:


    As Daisy unwrapped her shiny new LifeSize “Love-Me-For-Real” ™ Ken doll, she knew that next year, she’d be on Santa’s naughty list…

  9. 9
    lustyreader says:

    Cha cha cha

    She didn’t give a fig if the ton thought her a hoyden for waltzing without consent. She’d set her cap for this Corinthian and would get close to him by any means possible!

  10. 10
    Janet says:

    Rwor – You put THAT – THERE! You’re flipped your lid, Daddy-o.

  11. 11


    I don’t usually date men old enough to be my father but since I have daddy issues, for you I’ll make an exception. Oh, and P.S. you can call me Kitty…and yes, I scratch!

  12. 12
    Chris says:

    Rwor: She worried that her fingers would become stuck in his hair.
    Rwor: Could she bear to kiss a man who used more hair products than she?

    Cha cha cha: Damn, the slow songs always come on when one has an unseemly erection!

  13. 13
    azteclady says:

    rwor: “Hello! I’m over here—look up and to your left. Your other left”

    Cha-cha: “It shouldn’t be possible to break an inflatable doll’s neck…”

  14. 14
    Maili says:


    “Oh, come on! I want to know what they say about codpieces is true! Let me feel it!”

  15. 15
    Marski says:

    Cha Cha Cha:  While clandestinely applying shameless maxillary pressure to Betty’s temporal lobe, Bob was able to remove all thoughts she ever possessed about Rosie the Riveter and her not so known sister , the wayward,  Frieda the Fluffer.

    Rwor:  First I’m gonna lick every ounce of Brill Cream from your hair.  Second I’m gonna use that same warm probe to remove all your clothes.  Third I’m gonna store you in my attic until I’m 60 at which point I’ll save thousands on Viagra! Mwahahaha!!

  16. 16
    Suze says:

    RWOR: As he leaned in for what he thought was a kiss, her fangs began to emerge, and she smiled in anticipation of the sweet, sweet blood.

    Cha Cha Cha: Damn you, Edward!  I TOLD you that was superglue, not hair gel!

    I vote for Sarah W’s Rwor!  Awesome.

  17. 17
    Angela says:

    Cha Cha Cha:

    “Oh Darryl! If it wasn’t for the Valtrex we could never have danced this close!”

  18. 18
    Carrie Lofty says:

    Rwor: By Ted’s disdainful sneer, Judy knew she was due for another punishing kiss.

    Cha cha cha: Is it love, or is it qualudes?

  19. 19
    Kathleen O'Reilly says:

    RWOR: “You must fall into the evil, come-hither, death ray of my eyes.”

  20. 20
    Jessa Slade says:

    Will u plz Photo-Cha-Cha-Chop that lectrical outlet? Tnx

    Rowr: Someday, this basic pose will adorn movie posters for Twilight and people will be squicked out by the power imbalance. But here in the 1950s…  Er, no, still squicked out.  You’ve come a long way, baby.

  21. 21

    Cha Cha Cha: “Oh darling, when you hold me like this, I can almost forget that you kidnapped and forced me into marriage!”

  22. 22
    Tina C. says:


    “I’m not that kind of girl.  No, darling, look at me.  Now put your hand there.  Now, as I was saying, I’m not that kind of…oh, forget it.”

    Cha cha cha

    It was much easier to get Margie to dance with him since he’d glued her ear to his shoulder.  Sure, it made such things as driving more difficult, but that was a small price to pay.

  23. 23
    Lotus says:


    “Jonny!  What big shoulder pads you have!”

    “All the better to tackle you with, my dear.”

    Cha cha cha

    “Dick smiled to himself as he realized that roofie had already kicked in…”

  24. 24
    Aimee says:

    I don’t have a caption but I lean towards Rowr. There’s just something about the pose that leaves a come-hither feel to it that would fit in great with the whole romance theme.

  25. 25
    rebyj says:

    Chacha “It’s not gay, it’s foreplay!”

      I like Bev’s RWOR

    “I’ve got my hand on your ass and I’m about to save your life!”

  26. 26


    “Tommy! You know I’m not that kind of girl. My sister, on the other hand—or is she my mother? My sister? My mother? Ah crap, let’s do it!”


    Robert knew his dream girl was running low on juice, but fortunately, he was able to drag her closer to the electrical outlet.

  27. 27
    Theora_Jones says:

    Rowr:  Hold your horses, buddy, I haven’t said “yes” yet.

    Cha-Cha:  Don’t even try to hold me close to your throbbing manhood, buster.

    spam word is john87, and I’m pretty sure the guy in Rowr has looked that up in the Kama Sutra.

  28. 28
    Trash Addict says:


    “Judy encounters her first prosthetic in 3… 2… 1…”


    I don’t know if I can beat Sharon’s robot dream girl… but

    “Paul, my darling… would you be a dear and fetch me a glass of punch? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.”

  29. 29
    Vienna Mars says:

    “So, Woody—how DID you get that nickname?”

    She’s thinking: “If I slouch, maybe he won’t notice how tall I am.”
    He’s thinking: “This is the last time I date a girl with scoliosis.”

  30. 30
    Theora_Jones says:

    Sorry for the double post, but that “cha-cha” picture is haunting me and I must now bring you:

    Another Night at Almack’s:  Desperation Boogaloo

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