So poor Jane Austen is now afflicted with zombies, aliens, predators, and all manner of terrible things – and here I thought Mr. Collins was pretty damn awful.
Do you get the feeling that poor Jane is getting an undue amount of paranormal attention?
What about the other masterpieces of romance fiction?
What about MORE paranormal or just plain extra more better oddity added to an already-paranormal romance?
I have two words: Hellooooo Hollywood!
Use the random Romance And More! generator created with patented Bitchenatin’® Technology to create your own blockbuster. And hook us up in the comments with any screenplay pitch blurbs you may have for your work in progress – 25 words or less, please. Best one as judged by your comments and yours truly will win a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or the bookstore of the winner’s choosing. 24 hours starting now.
The Next Hollywood romance blockbuster will be:
Okay, I counted and I’m a few words over the limit, so I’m trying again.
The Serpent Prince with were-hamsters:
Would he still love this hot-blooded, hirsute woman after he discovered her secret, or would she just be another tasty morsel for the cold-blooded prince?
Mistress with Studly Brownies? I’m all for brownies in pretty much any form, but what are studly brownies? Brownies in the shape of man-titty? Brownies with extra protein ? Oh, wait, is this brownies as in sprites who do housework? ‘Cuz I could get behind studly housekeepers, too, especially if they made chocolately cookie bars.
heh, heh, I said “get behind”.
Outlander with Hormonal Pixies
If time-traveling and falling for a Scottish insurgent weren’t enough, now Claire faces pixies with PMS. Do they have chocolate in 1740’s Scotland?
time-traveling is just one word since it is hyphenated, right? Right?
men43 – my man is 43, so that’s pretty perfect!
Bitten and Were-ducks, Perfect!
My Pitch: The humanoid ducks from the old cartoon, The Mighty Ducks get “bitten” by Howard the Duck and turn into humans every Hockey Season. Then they get bitten by Donald Duck, and start lisping and are angry all the time. Then they eventually get bitten by Scrooge McDuck and become Golden Eggs, which is great for Scrooge. Yay Go Ducks.
(I got Dream Man with carnivorous koalas)
Marlie’s psychic visions lead skeptical Dane to the zoo, where the gore-soaked truth of the marsupial underworld. Together they must face ultimate, furry evil.
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Wuthering Heights with Vampires—Like Twilight, with better characters, plot, and costumes. Heathcliff and Catherine still die, but get a more satisfying corporeal afterlife.
Cotillion with coupon-clipping djinni!
Can Kitty find true love, or will she be forced to settle on one of the buffoons her mystical Uncle Matthew can get for 30% off?
The Spanish Prince’s Virgin Bride with hyperventilating dwarves!
Prince Julio Raphael’s dwarf jesters felt their breath (breaths?) quicken when they first caught sight of the stunning Lady Mary Maria… and so did he.
Loved Courtney’s and kalafudra’s!!!
A unicorn eating pudding is totally hilarious for some reason, lol!
Mr. Impossible with massage-therapist poltergeists.
I think this one speaks for itself.
I got “His Lordship’s Mistress” and “merry vampires.”
In honor of my roommate printing Twilight trivia for us last night:
“Melissa Rathbone, mistress to His Lordship Philip Exeter, thought she’d content forever. But that changed when the troupe of beautiful, pale-faced actors came to town… “
“Dream Man with Shoe Shopping Baba Yagas”
A child devoring hag is cursed to never find Manolo Blahniks on sale. Will the shoe salesman of her dreams break this curse before she devors another trendy 5th Ave child in her soleless quest for perfect pumps?
Trying to salvage my earlier entries:
Mistress with line-dancing zombies
Iphiginia Bright had the perfect plan. But what is she to do when the Earl of Masters, presumed dead, returns… and wants her brains?
Pride and Prejudice with epicurious pygmies
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a tribe of pygmies in possession of refined tastes, must be in want of true culinary Nirvana.
Mr. Impossible with tap-dancing Chupacabras
Rupert took most things in stride, but when Daphne discovered vampiric reptiles tap-dancing in one of her blasted pyramids he found himself momentarily nonplussed.
I plugged in “Adam’s Rib with Irish succubi” and got “The Grand Sophy with phantom kangaroos”; in this instance, I like mine better. Therefore:
Eve’s Pelvis
Devil’s advocate—and consort—Amelia Azrael challenges Hell itself when a seductress from the auld sod rebels against her sultry nature for true love’s sake.