This week’s cover snark is dedicated to the editorial assistants of the world. Y’all work hard for not a whole lot of money, and given the trend of layoffs, your work world probably just got a lot harder.
So, in grateful thanks to the editorial assistant who sent me a steaming, shiny, altogether brilliant pile of these cover cards, and to all the editorial assistants who kick ass and take names, this snark’s for you.
Sarah: The Guardian of the war butterflies watches as two mutated specimens pry each other from their silky cocoon. But it’s way, way too early. Given how her skirt becomes a leg, and then becomes an arm on the spine, the Guardian butterfly will soon put them out of their sticky, passionate misery.
Candy: People. People. LEAST EFFICIENT WAY TO REMOVE CLOTHING. EVER. Unless the girl is seriously double-jointed.
Sarah: This cover employs the subtle yet effective trifecta of old-skool awesome: the mullet? Check. The quivering mass of man-titty, barely contained by unbuttoned shirt that remains tucked into his pants?
But the epic win of this cover cannot be expressed in mere words, unless those words are HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT GIANT
Candy: Yup. That there is definitely the biggest pecker I’ve seen on the cover of a romance novel.
Sarah: Little Limp Feather, known as “Mullet” to his friends, faces a first for the romance hero—she’s just not that into him.
Candy: Wow. Never have I seen “DO NOT WANT” expressed so explicitly in body language adorning a romance novel cover.