Caption That Cover: Walking on Water!

Time for my favorite game – Caption That Cover. Below, a work of majestic cover art. Give it a caption – LOL or otherwise, and leave it in the comments. Best one judged by your votes and me gets a $20 gift certificate to Amazon or the bookstore of your choice. Comments close in 24 hours.

Enjoy!

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General Bitching...

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  1. Tania from Canada says:

    Makes me think of that Dirty Dancing scene where they’re practicing the lift. Only with Jennifer Grey post nose-job.

    (Not clever enough to caption.)

  2. J says:

    He didn’t mind that she could walk on water, he just wished she would stop insisting on using a wind machine to make her hair fly just so.  He had to use an inordinate amount of gel to keep his hair motionless.

    I’m sorry but the way he is holding her, he cannot be lifting her unless he’s tearing off her ass.

  3. aninsomniac says:

    “Your boob-crack is riveting, Jesusa Christ! (But I don’t want to go to hell.)”

    I mean no offense to religion, etc! I just think Jesus Christ is more popular than Cris Angel wrt walking on water. And she is definitely doing that!

    -anin

  4. Cat Marsters says:

    Webbed feet? I has them.

    (I’m reminded of my own walking-on-water cover.  But that one was on purpose.)

  5. Tamlyn says:

    How Joe ended up claiming workman’s comp.

  6. ms bookjunkie says:

    Travis strode through the water, carrying the mannequin which was getting heavier by the moment. If the photographer didn’t get the picture soon, his grip was going to slip and the damn dummy was going to end up in the damn lake and he was damn well going to leave it there! Damn ridiculous modeling job! No wonder cover art was interchangeable, they probably used the same damn mannequin on each and every one! And as soon as they built a robot to carry it around, he’d be out of a job. The way he was feeling now, it couldn’t happen soon enough!

  7. Rei says:

    I’d like to put a different spin on this scene. She’s not walking on water; she’s made herself much taller than he is and is breathless with lust at the thought. That is clearly the work of a lady with a fetish for stilts.

    Her pleasure is my pleasure, he told himself firmly. Being the taller one makes her happy. Little did he know the fate that awaited him – not death by drowning, but suffocation in heaving depths of an altogether different nature.

    The Cleavage Assassin smiled, and drew him closer.”

  8. El says:

    Hey, lady, this is fun and all, but I really need the toolbox you’re standing on.

  9. Amy says:

    He was a little too good at that, if you know what I mean.

  10. KatherineB says:

    Allen Bauer: Sweety, you know how much I love that you’re a gorgeous human female now, right?
    Madison: O, of course, my slightly hirsute non-piscine bipedal merman!
    Allen Bauer: Fact is…ever since you rescued me as a boy, I’ve had a thing…
    Madison: For what, dearheart?
    Allen: For fish. Scaly, slimy, fish. Broiled, fried and especially…sushi. Uncooked… and raw…
    Madison: Oh Allen! You mean..?
    Allen: Yes, my love. I’m just going to dip you in here, and then we can get busy with the soy sauce and wasabi.
    Madison: O, Allen! (Hearts surrounding the breathy gasp).

    And so Allen happily kept her close by with passionate expulsions of sticky cuvierian tubules from his turgid sea cucumber, and Madison found true love, with a man who could whole-heartedly accept her for what she was…

    H.E.V. forever! Thanks to the movie Splash!

  11. KatherineB says:

    I mean..they even have the same hair colors as the actors in Splash!

    Hmm…time for a movie hunt. Been a while…

  12. Cat Marsters says:

    The Cleavage Assassin smiled, and drew him closer.

    Muhahahaha!

  13. Stelly says:

    Makes me think of that Dirty Dancing scene where they’re practicing the lift.

    That was my first thought as well Tania!

  14. Peggy P says:

    “Oh, I thought you said – Get in the water THEN take your pants off”

  15. eaeaea says:

    Walk on water…no.  There is something hard under here that transports me to the heights you see.

    BTW, tell me what Trana is short for…?

  16. Betsy says:

    A muscled, veiny specimen of manhood, Drake Turgidton could never resist the charms of Francesca Waterbaby.  Little did he know of the horrible fate that lurked for him between her inviting, yet carnivorous breasts…
    Learn the tale of their star-crossed love, when the taste of his flesh offers only…Bittersweet Promises!

    (cuz her name is like Baby from DD…whose real name is Frances…erm, leaving now)

  17. S. W. Vaughn says:

    “I be-lieeeve I can flyyyyy….”

  18. skapusniak says:

    Honey, you sunk my Battleship!

  19. Lorelie says:

    Not exactly a caption, but I totally read the author’s name as “Trannie Simmons.”

  20. Saint Fool says:

    I can has baptism now?

    (so going to hell for that one.)

  21. HeatherK says:

    “Please don’t dunk me. Do you have any idea how long it took to get my hair to look like this? And my dress just so? You’ll ruin hours of long, hard work!”

    or

    “Darling, you’re gorgeous, but isn’t this taking things a bit too far?”

    or

    He’d thought putting her on a pedestal would be dangerous to his heart. Little did he know, he would really be saving her from drowning.”

    Best I can do this AM. lol

  22. Chris says:

    Not every man has the confidence to date an eight-foot tall Farah Fawcettized Amazon!

  23. Castiron says:

    Rivals in underwater ballroom dancing—could they cooperate in the horizontal tango?

  24. Missy Ann says:

    She was soooooooo wet for him.

  25. Betsy says:

    Hee!  I like these.
    spam word: looking26.  Am I?

  26. Emmy says:

    Ravish me, o freakishly tall water sprite!

  27. lustyreader says:

    The lake where some dickey collars wilt, and some dickeys don’t.

  28. Toddson says:

    When Melisande applied for the waterskiing mermaid job, she didn’t realize it would lead to this!

  29. Judging from her impressive stature and the tantalizing glimpse of Adam’s apple that riveted his gaze, Bob guessed that his luscious nymph’s gown held the bittersweet promise… of a dong.

  30. Bev Stephans says:

    “My jeans are so wet and soggy that I can’t take another step. You will now have to carry me.”

  31. Madd says:

    Armintrout FTW!

  32. Cate says:

    Thus Arthur returned his mighty Excalibur to the Lady of the Lake.

  33. Dorilys says:

    “He was commonly known as the boobie nommer…”

    “The riveting tale of a man of short stature overcoming all odds and living happily with the giant women he loved…”

  34. Madd says:

    Ok, here’s my caption:

    She was wild with the thought of finally initiating him into her secret wetlook fetish, but, while he wouldn’t mind getting a look at her in a wet white dress, the wet jeans were just damned uncomfortable.

    And that’s what I get for trying to find wet look hairstyle tip videos on Youtube.

  35. Christina says:

    Honey, I think there’s still a fish in your bosom…

  36. Brandi says:

    “How high’s the water, mama? / Three feet high and risin’….”

    Alternately: “We were—knee deep in the Big Muddy, / But the big fool said to push on…”

  37. Ocy says:

    “Does this wind machine make me look fat?”
    “I really can’t say.  I can’t stop wondering why the props guy is insisting on you standing on that stepping stool he stuck underwater.”
    “Wait, what?  But you’re supposed to be checking me out!  We are on the cover of a romance novel!”
    “And why put me in jeans?  What sort of idiot goes frolicking in the water wearing jeans?  These things are heavy when they’re waterlogged.”
    “Seriously, check out my cleavage.  Don’t you just want to nuzzle in there for awhile?”
    “Not really.  Uhh… how do I say this?  Darling, I’m gay.”
    “Well, that would explain why we spend so much time dancing in the water instead of sniffing at each other like any respectable clinch cover.”
    “Can I stop flexing my back now?”

  38. JennyME says:

    She said she was into watersports, but he didn’t know that would mean…this.

  39. Marilyn says:

    No, really, your sins will be gone, you gotta let me dunk you. 

    Stand back so you don’t get hit by the lightning.

  40. Emmy says:

    Thought of a better one in the shower:

    HE took a bet to save his father’s ranch. SHE took a chance to save his mortal soul. It PROMISED to be a simple game of walk-on-water polo. Until their PASSION…boiled over.

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