Thanks to FD, I have a link to an advice column from the Guardian penned by one Mariella Frostrup which addresses the emotionally unavailable man.
As FD said in the email to me, the part in the beginning where she ladles on the pathos in an attempt to establish empathy was irritating, and her assumption about Mills & Boon heroes is way off the mark imo, but her point about the emotionally unavailable man is thought provoking.
I have to wonder if everyone went through the “tragic mate” phase in their 20’s, finding partners with the urge to fix and make them happy all the time – aka “the more tragic, the better.” Probably we all did at one time, if not the 20’s then at some other point.
But I take issue with Mariella’s point that Mr. Darcy is a malfunctioning man, a “monosyllabic” grump, and serves more as a canvas on which we readers paint our ideal tragic hero:
Darcy is a classic malfunctioning man, and the idea that he could be transformed into some Mills & Boon-style romantic hero by the barbs of a bright woman – no matter how persuasive actors like Colin Firth and Matthew Macfadyen have been in trying to make us believe it – is just schoolgirl fantasising. The sad truth is that the monosyllabic man in the corner of the bar isn’t usually thinking deep thoughts about the future of mankind; he’s a monosyllabic man in a bar. One thing you can’t knock women for is their imagination. We can fantasise miserable Darcy into a totemic love god, a plethora of myopic musicians into babe magnets, and an actor outspoken about his determination not to marry into the sexiest man alive.
From my perspective, and granted I haven’t reread P&P in a number of months, Darcy is socially awkward and certainly a snob who has to get over himself already, but emotionally broken hero? I don’t think so.
Do you disagree with Frostrup? Perhaps you never got the Darcy-mania any more than the Edward-mania, and find him to be as stunted and unattractive as she does? What’s the deal – do you think Darcy’s a broken male?
I tend to disagree with Frostrup almost every time I hear her. Shame, because she has a wonderfully smoky voice and does (or used to) host a reader program on Radio 4. She puts down the romance genre every chance she gets, and finds ways to needle the romance community. Not that she goes out of her way to do it, which she would be the first person to tell you. Just that we don’t seem to mix awfully well. This opinion is typical of her views on anything that holds the dreaded R word, well articulated but only half-understood. But opinions differ and she’s entitled to hers.
I agree with most of the posters here. Darcy is a far more complex character than she seems to think, and the opinion seems to be based more on the various TV and film versions than the Darcy of the book.
This has always been made me very unpopular but I’ve never liked Darcy. I’ve always wanted to beat him over the head with the stick he has crammed up his arse throughout 80% of the book.
I can see the appeal, and I get the “Oh but behind his arrogant exterior he cares” yadda yadda yadda but I’ve just never had the patience for him.
Count me on the side of the “hell no, Darcy’s not broken” camp.
If anything, I think a theme that runs through just about all of Jane Austen’s work is that you can’t change people. You can change your opinions of them, or they can choose to change themselves, but changing someone through The Power Of Your Luurve ain’t gonna happen. (At one point towards the end of the novel, Elizabeth tells Wickham, who is being snide and insinuating, “Oh no! in essentials, I believe, he is much what he ever was.”)
Nope. Nope. Nope. Handsome is as handsome does. I can never get enough of a man who quietly does what needs to be done. And that’s Darcy.
Word Verif: look46.
No, damn it. I look 26.
Can I just say, sometimes the monosylabic man in the bar really is thinking deep thoughts. He might be a kind, intelligent, smokin’ hot man who just likes to hang out in the bar. I know, I have one.
Ok, I have always loved Darcy—I first read P&P;when I was about 12. Right now, I’m reading An Assembly Such as This by Pamela Aidan. It’s the first in a series of three volumes revisiting P&P;from the perspective of Mr. Darcy. And it’s gorgeous and wonderful and I’m falling more and more in love with him. This particular series shows him as a deeply sensitive and caring man who is struggling between trying to support his friend and worrying about his beloved sister (who if you remember was just coming off the debacle with Wickham.)
He’s definitely NOT broken. A bit bruised, perhaps, but a wonderful man (and I am really enjoying Aidan’s writing. I definitely recommend!)
I am NOT attracted to the Fix Me guy. Mr Darcy is attractive because he fixes himself. I would loooove for the guys I’ve dated to fix themselves.
I wonder who the ‘myopic musicians’ and ‘outspoken actor’ were?