Friday Videos Say: WTF?!

So, what book was this buffet of romance based on? Or, better, how many books?! Total and epic win to the folks at Fandom lounge who said, “OMG WTF MUST SEND TO Smart Bitches.” HA! WIN!

Thanks to InnocentSmith, who also sent me the much higher-res link should you wish to see the high quality version.

You really should watch the high-res version to appreciate what lyrangalia wrote:  “I feel like I need an explanation as to why the entire Romance aisle of the bookstore just came alive and [tried] to eat me.”

She also suggests a drinking game “where you take a shot every time a romance novel cover is recreated.” If I did that, I’d be comatose.

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Friday Videos

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  1. Bwaaaa!  Tea.  On.  Monitor.

    Extra points for the cheesy tagline at the end.

  2. Oh…that was horribly disturbing.  I’m hoping with everything in me that I will wake up and this will have been a bad dream.  Eesh.

  3. Glynis says:

    Great. Now there’s a jaw-shaped divot in my laptop case.

    That singer is so…so…oh, my stars and garters, why isn’t there a sarcasm key? Butch. Yes. That’s it. Butch.

    Butchy, butchy, butch. La, la, la.

    The costuming is fun, and the CG dragons aren’t too horrible. Whoever put this together knew what they were doing. Too bad the singer and the song didn’t live up to the level of the video production. Still…

    bwah ha bwah ha ha hee hee hooooooooo!

  4. thirstygirl says:

    The part where he’s swinging on a rope away from the sinking pirate ship? my gut reaction was ‘where’s the girl he’s meant to be holding?’

    that was the collected works of Johanna Lindsey brought to life.

  5. Joanne says:

    Dr Zhivago meets Cinderella meets the Pirates of the Caribbean meets Peter Pan meets The Witches of Eastwick meets Every Finnish Band that ever recorded meets The Matrix meets a HEA.

    or something like that?

  6. DS says:

    I finished watching it with the mute button clicked.  I don’t know if it was my crappy speakers or his singing.  Please tell me this is some 80’s singer I managed to miss the first time around.

  7. Chantel says:

    Best. Video. Ever.

  8. Kathy says:

    Reminds me of The Illiad and Odessy, Jason and the Argonauts stuff.  Very Homeric?

  9. thetechdiva says:

    His website boasts that video was directed by the special effects artist of Robert Short of “Splash” “E.T.” “Beetlejuice” and “Ace Ventura” fame. 

    Oh, I see what you did there…

  10. eve says:

    Well, Kathy, there’s a “hom” in there somewhere. If that singer has ever kissed a girl in his life…. He was so stiff whenever he had to touch her. It was obvious he’s trying very hard to sell the romantic lead is wooing his heroine, but…WOW!

    It’s Fintastic!!!

    my word: out65

  11. Barb Ferrer says:

    Dr Zhivago meets Cinderella meets the Pirates of the Caribbean meets Peter Pan meets The Witches of Eastwick meets Every Finnish Band that ever recorded meets The Matrix meets a HEA.

    Okay, yeah, you win.  The best I’d come up with was The Princess Bride and Stevie Nicks had had a demon love spawn.

  12. smidge says:

    He’s a male Celine Dion, without the singing ability. And I may never, ever be able to read another historical romance. Oy.

  13. Michele says:

    Orlando Bloom was the only man who could pull off the hot blond elf thing. This was just unbelievable.

  14. Aaargh!  The goggles, they do nothing!!!

    I’ve had this video inflicted on my twice in the last 24 hours.  I may stick a knitting needle through my head to get rid of the earworm.

  15. Lizzy says:

    Unfortunately, the sound on my computer is broken, so I can only watch, not listen.

    But I’m fairly certain that Superman will not be pleased to learn that The Three Musketeers have been dancing around in his secret ice cave. Nor will Princess Buttercup be happy to hear that Wesley has been hanging around with what appears to be post-op trannies.

    A time of darkness, indeed.

  16. Alea says:

    Tor.com has a wonderful blog entry about this where Megan Messinger reduced the video to a choose-your-own-adventure (http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=10131)—scarily, according to her entry, the guy’s planning two sequels!

  17. MeggieMacGroovie says:

    I…I…what?
    Why was his goatee black? Why all the time period costume changes? WTF was going on???

    All I know is, that music, lasted a good 4:17 longer than it needed to.

  18. hollygee says:

    The Theme – Long Hair Rules! We Love Long Hair!

    Somehow I don’t think that the video could have been made without the starring role of long flowing hair.

  19. amy lane says:

    And what the hell is that thing on his lip?  It scares me… so much…

  20. Midknyt says:

    That was fabulous.  Or rather, I should say the singer was fabulous.  That kiss was hilarious at the end, and he was such a looker to boot.  I don’t quite get why his fake, odd mustache was really dark.  You’d think he’d know better that it wouldn’t match the white hair and all.

    I think this is an excellent learning tool – on what it must feel like to have a big romance tbr pile and have a severe case of ADD.  Ooh, guy on horse.  Ooh, look, witches.  Ooh, now we have pirates.  Back to the guy on the horse with bad facial hair.  Now we’re in the mountains with snow.  Now we’re on an exploding pirate ship.  Now there’s an evil guy in a mask.  Now there’s angels.  Now there’s a ship again.  Now there’s horses.  Now there’s dragons.  Back to the bad facial hair.  Now there’s ghosts.  Ooh, shiny object! 

    Hey, the song is saying shine on me, right?  Pun-arific.  🙂

    He also has the exact same face as my mom’s friend…a stay at home mormon mother of five.  Creepy.

  21. TracyS says:

    Was I supposed to understand that video?!  LOL My head hurts.  I feel like a bookshelf exploded and someone just randomly taped pages back together then read what was there.

    Ouch. My head.

  22. Michelle W says:

    I LOVE the Drinking Game idea!  Do you think we can take that many shots in the 4 minute time allotment?  I think sticking a straw in a bottle maybe the way to go!

  23. Silver James says:

    Why were they using western saddles on the horses? Oh. Yeah. Because that’s the only way to get cowboy romance into to the mix, I guess.

    I have to admit, the song is an earworm *shudder* but dude, the production values were pretty darn cool. I wouldn’t mind having a book trailer this good! And some wicked, depraved, totally sick part of my brain wants to read that *book*.

  24. molly_rose says:

    A HA HA!
    It’s sad when guys want a woman so much they sort of become one themselves (“see, we have sooo much in common! Like our hair, and clothes, and…”)
    That, or are making boat-loads of cash. But, somehow, I sense that dude had a serious investement in this clusterfuck of wow.

  25. phadem says:

    This is one of those moments where it’s entirely appropriate to pass the eye bleach. I’ll make a run to the store for more if necessary. On my noble steed no less. Tresses flowing. In my Cat Woman slut suit. Hey, I’d do anything for this crowd.

    sense93: Even with 93 possibilities, there’s no way that video made sense.

  26. Laura Hamby says:

    Um…There I sat, thinking, “Self, you really need to wedge yourself behind your desk and hook up your speakers.” Then I read the comments and am greatly relieved that there’s no rush.
    Was worried that in my early morning, uncaffiendated state, I was ill-equipped fully appreciate the video. Again, using the comments as clues, caffiend and being more awake probably won’t help. I also was wondering how he was able to continue singing when he was caught in a wind tunnel.

  27. elianara says:

    I’ve now seen that video twice and I still haven’t listened to the song all trough the video, I’ve always muted it because I can’t stand it.

    Dr Zhivago meets Cinderella meets the Pirates of the Caribbean meets Peter Pan meets The Witches of Eastwick meets Every Finnish Band that ever recorded meets The Matrix meets a HEA.

    Joanne, you forgot Lord of the Rings. Helicopter over woods is so Shire, horse jumping over you, and the ring into the fire, so LotR.

  28. Julie Leto says:

    Did no one else see Narnia?  All the snow and ice???

  29. Sarabeth says:

    I couldn’t make it through. Perhaps I should try the mute button as so many others have done.

  30. Wow, Lestat’s band is way less hardcore than Anne Rice led me to believe.

  31. Eunice says:

    I’m stunned.

    Things to add to the ‘it was totally like [whatever]’ list:

    That grand jeté over the canyon was very Van Hellsing’s amazing flying horses.

    Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart video. I get the feeling that someone sat down and put a lot of thought into how much crap they could cram in, but it don’t make any damn sense.

  32. liz says:

    I kept expecting it to be porn. There was no pizza delivery guy.

  33. Victoria Dahl says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t take this chance to use the “WTFBBQ?!” caption, because if anything ever called for it, it was this video.

    When he fell into the ocean, I just knew there would be a mermaid. HOW CAN THERE NOT BE A MERMAID??? Something’s not right with the world. Or maybe that was where they hit the brakes. “No. A mermaid would be too much. It might cross into cheesy if we use the mermaid.”

  34. Ciar Cullen says:

    I’m weak. I lasted about 6 seconds. Felt the oatmeal rolling in my gut, sweat breaking out. Please, don’t ever do that to us again.

  35. Zoe Archer says:

    Hubs enjoyed the reveal of the glowing merkin.

    Also—the singer is from my home town of L.A., so he hasn’t the convenient excuse of being from Europe.

  36. P.N. Elrod says:

    I LIKED IT!

    They’re going to have BEAUTIFUL babies.

    The mermaid is in the sequel.

    That will be her sister. One of the dragons is an enchanted elf.

    All he has to do is get near water without drowning; all she has to do is smooch him without frying. The timing’s gonna be tricky.

  37. Cori says:

    *le sigh*

    I am dismayed at the lack of man titty.

  38. Julianna says:

    Wow.  How can something look so expensive and so cheap at the same time? 

    what it must feel like to have a big romance tbr pile and have a severe case of ADD.

    That is a very good description.

    And that poor girl – with the mask guy – and the witches – and the angels – and the bright glare emitting from loverboy’s abs – oh, I just don’t know what else to say.

  39. Julianna says:

    No, wait, I do.  Were we suppose to believe he was playing that guitar?

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