Cover Models

In The SB Book, we take a look at the fact that romance cover models are the opposite of the rest of the modeling world: we know many of the men’s names, but the women? Not really.

Until now! Thanks to some courtroom drama ker-brou-ha-fuffle, we now know Cindy Guyer’s name. And we also know not to fuck with her, lest we want our hair pulled. Ow. 

[thanks to many, many Bitchery members for the link.]

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  1. 1
    Qadesh says:

    Is it wrong to find this situation amusing?  Because, dayam, it is.  Seriously, am I the only one that thinks this is straight out of a romance?  I just want to know how the story ends.  Any of our writers have ideas?

    *waiting with popcorn for the rest of the story*

  2. 2
    Silver James says:

    Beyond posing for the covers of romance novels, Guyer was a producer of the 2005 TV game show/reality series “Mr. Romance” and had bit parts in a number of movies in the 1990s.

    I remember her now. Talk about a snark-worthy show! I loved that the girlfriend was “elegantly dressed” and sitting in the front row. “Tramp!” I’m tellin’ ya! *giggle*

  3. 3
    Lovecow2000 says:

    Also on Wikipedia is the nugget that she was engaged to Corey Haim.

  4. 4
    Lori says:

    Here’s the thing I don’t understand about this—-why be made at the woman who stole your man when that man is apparently a criminal as well as a cheater, and may be headed to a nice stretch in the Big House?  The soon-to-be ex is not exactly hero material.  This would seem like a classic ‘good riddance to bad rubbish” moment. 

    Of course if she was once engaged to Corey Haim she & I may simply have radically different requirements when it comes to men.

  5. 5

    What made my computer toss its cookies was one of the comments by someone claiming to translate romance novels. With an attitude like that, I can’t help but wonder if the disdain doesn’t bleed into the translation… I wouldn’t mind pulling some of those commenters’ hair.

    Tramps.

  6. 6
    Julie Leto says:

    Nathalie, I thought the very same thing!

    I say more power to her.  (Cindy, that is.)  I’m glad it was only a hair pull.  A right cross might have landed her in jail for assault.  Even if the guy is a loser, he was still her husband.  And the girlfriend probably is a tramp.

    I have no sympathy for home wreckers.  And I have no disdain for cover models.  If not for the gorgeous women and hot men on my books, I might not sell many copies.

  7. 7
    Shreela says:

    Thanks for the link to the model’s site. I looked through her covers and one of them was so awesome that I had to search for the book, written in ‘95. It’s by an author I’ve never heard of before, but after finding the book on Amazon, and looking at the author’s books, her books have a minimal rating of 4 stars.

    I’m going to try to get A Certain Magic by Kathleen Morgan, and may love it and become a regular reader—all because a book cover caught my eye. And what’s funny is that particular book isn’t even featured on her website LOL

    Many think covers shouldn’t be important, but I like to look at them and “see the story” in my head, and great covers help me do this.

  8. 8
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    Is it wrong to find this situation amusing?  Because, dayam, it is.  Seriously, am I the only one that thinks this is straight out of a romance?  I just want to know how the story ends.  Any of our writers have ideas?

    Stopping for a post-courtroom martini at a fashionable watering hole, wronged wife Cindy is in turmoil.  Following the regrettable hair-pulling incident, she hoped a drink would calm her nerves, but instead, a chance encounter with smokin’ hot Dirk Nonesuch, rising young prosecuting attorney who hopes that winning the case against Cindy’s husband will make his career, leaves her even more flustered and confused.  Despite the fact that these two are on opposite sides of the legal fence, so to speak, and are forbidden to interact with one another, sexual sparks fly.  Meanwhile, Delilah Strange, lap-dancing chainsaw sculptress and mistress to Cindy’s soon-to-be-ex, pays an emergency visit to her hairdresser while plotting her revenge…

  9. 9
    Chicklet says:

    The soon-to-be ex is not exactly hero material.  This would seem like a classic ‘good riddance to bad rubbish” moment. 

    Precisely! It’s like those episodes of Jerry Springer where two women are fighting over some scrawny, toothless loser who looks like Cletus The Slack-Jawed Yokel on The Simpsons: Not worth the damage to your manicure.

  10. 10
    Bonnie L. says:

    Am I the only one who thinks that most of the covers featured on her website don’t particularly look like her?

    I’ve always wondered what cover modeling looks like. Do they dress up in costume and strike the most lurid pose they can think of and then stand there while someone sketches? Or maybe they are wearing normal clothing and the artist takes photos to draw from? So very curious!

  11. 11
    Wryhag says:

    Ferdacryinoutloud.  This makes me think of the show “Cheaters” on the G4 network.  All that huffin’ and puffin’ over partners (and partners’ sinmates) who aren’t worth a second thought.

    I’ve never been able to figure it out.  And this is coming from someone who’s taken several trips to DA DUMP.

    It’s real simple.  A schmuck ain’t worth the fuss.

  12. 12
    Gwen says:

    I’m proud of her for showing the restraint and doing the hair pulling in the hallway.

    But, folks, follow the link to Guyer’s website.  She has manhands.

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