A swerve off the road of romance to talk about books in general – hold on to your hats. Twice recently I’ve had the occasion to send people books who have been in mourning, or in a terribly stressful place where a respite would be needed.
I’ve taken a great liking to sending books when flowers or food might be the standard gift, especially those books that are escapes for the people reading them, a chance to check out temporarily from whatever hurt they’re facing to enjoy a fictional break. Most of the time reading anything is like that for me – I become completely oblivious when I’m reading, to the point where if a book really grabs me, I often nearly miss my stop.
But the Escape and Respite Books are those that not only grab the reader, but transport them easily and gently into the story, or cause the reader to laugh, even when there’s precious little to laugh about.
The two books I’ve been recommending are very different, but I wanted to pass them along to anyone among the Bitchery who might have need of them.
First: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, a book about the years after the Nazi occupation of the Jersey islands, but a whole lot more than just that. It’s an epistolary novel in the style of Helene Hanff’s 84, Charing Cross Road or the A. R. Gurney play Love Letters, in which being a part of the correspondence is immensely rewarding and transporting. The person who recommended it to me has sent it to people all over the country, from post-hurricane displaced families to friends who were mourning their loved ones, and they all loved it. One friend, she says, tried so hard to savor every page because it was such a welcome, peaceful break from all that she was dealing with.
Second, a children’s book that’s hilariously funny, especially for preschoolers, and most especially when told in your best New Yawk accent: I Stink!, by Kate and Jim McMullan. I Stink is about a New York City garbage truck, and it’s hilarious, especially his recipe for alphabet soup.
Now, Freebird, my own resident preschooler, loves this book, and likes to read it nightly. We’ve sent copies to many of my friends who also have young children, and one of them sent a copy to a four year old boy who has been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer, and is undergoing treatment at St. Jude’s right now. His mother says she’s read it over and over in the last three days since they received it, and despite poking and prodding and all kinds of tests, it makes her little boy laugh and laugh and laugh.
What are your books of refuge and respite? What do you recommend for people who need that welcome escape? Bring on your recommendations. Few people are as well-read as the Bitchery.
These are great! The first in the series, The Ghost Belonged to Me, is by far my favorite (the narrative voice reminds me almost of Mark Twain), but the later volumes narrated by Blossom, are a lot of fun too.
Becky…you may or may not be aware, but Patricia Briggs has expanded on the story from “Alpha and Omega” and turned out a full-length novel about Anna and Charles entitled “Cry Wolf” I own it; it’s really good. Also, you might check out some of her previous fantasy stuff; it’s really good.
My personal comfort reading varies depending on my mood; but usually when I’m going through a stressful time, I like to revisit previously read books or new books by favorite authors (la Nora, Terry Pratchett, Mercedes Lackey, etc.). Usually I NEED a HEA, or at least for good to triumph, but sometimes it’s more about humor. Either way, my personal library consists of books I liked enough to want to reread over and over again, so I can usually find something to suit me.
In the laughing your butt off vein, my husband recently discovered “Whales on Stilts” by M.T. Anderson. Any book where the first line is “On Career Day Lily visited her dad’s work with him and discovered he worked for a mad scientist who wanted to rule the earth through destruction and desolation” has me hooked.
Anne of Green Gables has always been one of my favourite comfort books and during my leaving cert (final exams in secondary, you take them at seventeen) I re-read the novelisations of the star wars movies (original trilogy, this was a while back) before going into the exam hall, i needed something to think about during the three hours maths papers. Also, there’s a great website called pjsandprose.ie that had the same idea they sell books and pyjamas for “cosy emergencies”
Oh man, The Blue Castle, absolutely. Loved it as a girl, love it today. Same with Dogsbody, excellent book.
Also seconding the Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder—whenever I’m bored or fretful or need to take my mind off things, I’ll open up On the Banks of Plum Creek and disappear.
When I need to escape into fun and hilarity, I’ll open up an earlier Stephanie Plum book.
And when I’m maudlin, I’ll read one of two books by Anne Lamott: Operating Instructions or Traveling Mercies. Or one of her fiction books, All New People, which has one of the most wonderful opening chapters I’ve ever read. Anything by Anne Lamott makes me happy, actually, even if the stories deal with sad or depressing subjects.
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Vicki, L, and everyone else on this list who’s shared your loss with us, my deepest condolences.
Thanks, Orianna, and my condolences to you also. I had my dad’s power of attorney when he died this spring. Hard decisions.
I, too, like Mercedes Lackey and have reread the Arrows of the Queen trilogy many times for comfort. I also like Madeline Brent and Victoria Holt. I recently gave Bride of Pendorric to a young friend who wasn’t sure she would like romances and she loved it.
So much loss here and, yet, so much love. What a great group we bitches are.
Orianna, I extend my thanks and best thoughts as well.
How right you are and how beautifully said! 🙂
My father died when I was a teenager, and my teacher gave me Charlotte Sometimes, a truly beautiful novel about a young girl at boarding school who switches places with another young woman who lived there a century before.
After all these years, it remains on my keeper shelf, but I’ve never been able to read it again. Reminds me too much of that time. However, I highly recommend it to everyone else :). Wonderful escapism, and the writing is just amazing.
Thank you Vicki and L.
Sarah – Whales on Stilts sounds brilliant 🙂 Luckily my library has a copy so I am going down there tomorrow to borrow it!
Cry Wolf was good, too. In fact, it’s our book club selection for November over at Kelley Armstrong’s website. I’m leading the discussion this month, such as it is. We’re a pretty casual bunch. Come on over and join the discussion.
Historical fantasy isn’t usually my thing (LOTR was a wall banger for me, although I loved The Hobbit) but I’ve read and enjoyed just about everything Briggs has published. There are a couple more in my TBR pile, but I’m reserving them for a rainy day!
What a great topic!
A couple of years ago when I had my second miscarriage, a good friend came over to visit. It was only the day after we found out I think, and she brought a “comfort basket”. Included was a lasagne to feed an army so I wouldn’t have to cook, some decadent chocolate ice cream, actual chocolate, some kind of sugary drink, some alcohol (!) and a book – Hosea by Francine Rivers. It is a Christian romance book modeled on the book of Hosea from the Bible.
It took a little while before I was up to reading anything but a couple of weeks (I guess) later, I picked up Hosea and devoured it. I had read romance novels ad nauseum as a teenager, then moved to thrillers and science fiction/fantasy. I hadn’t read a romance book in years and years.
In Hosea, I found an escape from the pain I was in, a place where I could go where things didn’t hurt and I didn’t have to think. A place where there was enough noise that it quieted the horrid buzz in my head. A place where there were happy endings.
After I finished the book, I dug out some of my older romance novels (of the few I had kept) and re-read all of them. Then I started buying them. Now, I have a ridiculously large TBR pile, and far too many books to store neatlly.
When I couldn’t leave the house, I escaped to other countries in a romance novel. When I had the next miscarriage, the romance novel helped me to get through that too, as well as reminding me that after tragedy sometimes good things can happen and it’s okay to hope.
For a really long time I read mostly to escape my reality and I’d read 5-6 books a week. Eventually, and with a little help, I came out of the depths and now I read for pleasure – which means, I have re-engaged with life so I have less time to read. I maybe get through 2-3 books a week nowadays.
I don’t really have any specific titles to recommend for gifts for those who are struggling – but I wanted to say that gifting someone a happy ending in a time of trouble can be immensely comforting and I am grateful for my friend’s gift to me – who knows what I may have done if I didn’t have that outlet.
So, all you ladies above who have had a similar experience, I know what it’s like and my thoughts are with you. I hope that, like me, you had good friends to help you up again.
And, for all romance readers – I say unto you: Be not ashamed when a bloke asks what sort of books you like to read and rolls his eyes when you tell him “romance”. Tell him: “There’s not enough happy endings in this world and you gotta get them from somewhere.”
My comfort reads run the gamut when it comes to genres. One is the Heralds of Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey. I read the first book when I was 14 and in a VERY dark place in my life. I reread them at least once a year. 🙂
The other is Years by LaVyrle Spencer. Without a doubt, one of my all-time favorite books.
I also recommend books that make me smile, like the MacGregor series by Nora Roberts or Secrets of a Summer’s Night by Lisa Kleypas.
I’m big on books that make my heart feel good. 😀
I remember mentioning the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society in a comment when you asked for book recommendations. It’s still a favourite, and one I’ve given as a present.
For a recently widowed friend, though I gave her Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (or Cross Stitch, if you’re in Australia/UK), because it creates such an engrossing, layered world. Space in which to get lost, for a while.
If you want a kids’ book loved by pretty much any kid I’ve ever met, try The Story of the Little Mole Who Knew That It Was None Of His Business by Holzwarth and Erlbruch. It’s about poo. What’s not to like? From littlies to teenagers, they laugh and love it.
For those who have shared their losses, thank you for trusting us with your stories.
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Click, clack, moo: Cows that type- LOVE- always has me laughing and is one I’ve given to folks who need silly
Fox in Socks- is one I always had with me at college- during finals week we would be out in the halls of the dorm reading it fast and giggling so hard the text anxiety just floated away
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day- it helps put certain things in perspective
I’ve given picture books to people who are having a hard time, but have never really thought of giving other kinds of books
Dorothy Dunnett is my go to author when I know I am in for yet another hospital admit with my kid. Also my go to author when I am waiting to see if he needs an admit.
Bujold always as well and Heyer.
Oh and Nigel Slater the cookbook writer. I take great comfort from his Kitchen Diaries.
As someone who experienced a loss this year, I want to say thank you. I don’t know why people think that anyone in mourning would be able to care for a plant (though amazingly mine have survived). The one thing that touched me the most was a friend who sent me a book.
After I lost my husband in June, when I was finally able to read again, it was the complete Harry Potter series that lifted me from the fog. Such courage, such friendships, such hope. I wept, a lot, but it was healing in a way I couldn’t have predicted.
I discovered this book quite by accident last night while flipping through a bookstore catalogue:
Dewey The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched The World (Vicki Myron)
http://www.deweyreadmorebooks.com/
I haven’t read it yet, but it sounds absolutely gorgeous.
I do love when you have these recommend posts – I always find a couple of excellent reads and new authors from them.
My go-to get well, feel better, book is Alan Jay Lerner’s The Street Where I Live. This is a book that both men & women can enjoy. It’s pure charming entertainment. Lerner was the lyricist of the Lerner & Lowe musical writing duo. And he has some wonderful stories. His story about his rolls royce and chauffeur is a classic. I’ve heard back from several people we’ve given this book to, and I think it’s just one of those universally enjoyable books. Maybe more-so for the age-40 & up crowd? But really, anyone who likes stories told around a table would enjoy this.
I will admit I started reading Anne’s books when I was a child- mom gave me her first one just after it came out. I fell in love. (hence the BookWyrm). It took many years before I realized what was going on. It didn’t bother me- what did was that they were all guys!! (And no, I am not gay, I just believe in equal opportunity).
I have it on good authority (ahem!) that the upcoming stories will change that outlook.
Although Anne still has her hands on the stories, Todd is the one doing the majority of the writing these days. I am glad to see that when the sad day comes and we loose her, that they stories will continue. It was shaky in the beginning, but he has really taken the series in so many new directions, I am dying to read the new one and soon!!
When I need reading familiarity or a good comfort read, I pick up The Thorn Birds, or A Gift Upon the Shore by MK Wren. The latter is out of print I think and copies of both books have been loved like the velveteen rabbit they are frayed and old.
I am not sure if it’s the nostalgia or just the smell of the old books that makes me feel safe, that along with both having good stories.
One other kinda related thing to mention: a box of fortune cookies is an excellent thing to take to someone in hospital (even if they’re on a restricted diet and can’t eat them themselves).
So often, ‘hospital visiting’ conversation revolves around the present – how are you, what’s the food like, what happened today, boxed by current circumstances. But a fortune cookie (whether you think they’re foolish or not) flips the conversation to the future, and other things, maybe memories, maybe plans and hopes. And the patient can offer them to staff, and other visitors as conversation starters/shifters.
Huh, that’s interesting that some people didn’t twig to the sexual content in the Pern books. That’s precisely what I liked about them as an overheated 14-15-16 year old. I thought the gay stuff was pretty blatant for the time (but then again, it turned out that I was queer too). I even did a book report for school on the McCaffrey short story collection that included a story about a straight woman having a gay man’s child.
So it wasn’t the sex I grew out of, or the crush I had on Menolly (as I realised later) – it’s the fact that the sexual politics are just a little too retro for me to find enjoyable. They were pretty progressive for their time (hello, the women dragonriders and all that – and the fact that the society was evolving into a more equal basis), but all the men being rugged men (except the green and blue riders) and the women being rugged women (or whatever) just bores me after a while. Definitely books of their time, and I do sometimes wander through one or two of them now (interestingly, McCaffrey’s SF doesn’t bug me so much).
As for comfort books, I second Bujold’s A Civil Campaign, which is pretty much always preceded by Komarr. I actually think those two books could stand alone (although it’d be much more enjoyable to read them after the rest of the Miles books).
I love Madeline L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time, A Wind Through the Door, and A Swiftly Tilting Planet. Big shout-outs to the Dark is Rising series too.
I would tend not to agree with Lackey recommendations for difficult times. She seems to like to address traumatic issues, and if I can put up with her over-explaining writing style (yes, show AND tell!), having a graphically-described male rape scene thrown into the middle of a fantasy romp tends to be offputting.
I agree with Austen and P and P, as well as Heyer and The Devil’s Cub. Nothing like a bit of hero-shooting, and unknowing interviews with prospective fathers-in-law for LOL times!
Thanks so much for recommending The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Society! I got it from the library yesterday & devoured it. It’s been a rough time over here for various reasons, and that book helped so much. I’m now planning to buy copies for myself AND all my friends! 🙂
My traditional go-to comfort books are Georgette Heyer’s The Talisman Ring (SO funny!) and Devil’s Cub. Also, I just read a really fun book of three Christmas-themed YA romances (novelettes), by Maureen Johnson, John Green, and Lauren Myracle, Let it Snow: Three Holiday Stories, which was really fun, smart & sweet.
Very good recommendations already!
If you liked “My Family and Other Animals” read the rest of Gerald Durrell’s books. You might like to read James Herriot’s books as well.
If you liked “Miss Pettigrew Lives for A Day”, you may also like “Cold Comfort Farm” by Stella Gibbons.
Yay for Pratchett, Bujold, Heyer, Cruisie and Gabaldon recommends. They are wonderful authors/books.
You might also like some of Robin McKinley’s fantasies. Try “The Blue Sword”, “The Outlaw and the Crown”, and “Beauty” first. “Sunshine” is wonderful as well but some people have trouble with it.
Oh gosh, I had The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Society on my TBR pile for weeks (it was an ARC that ended up in the B&N;free bin, and I’d forgotten I had it there. Devoured in a day. That’s totally going on my keeper shelf, and I’m going to give copies to my mom and to her best friend for Christmas.
Comfort reads – I go to my keeper shelf (which has both kids and adult books), and at times I’ve given copies to other people whom I think would enjoy them.
1. Tam Lin by Pamela Dean. I reread this one every Autumn (in fact, it’s time for my yearly reread), and again when I feel the need. I once told a co-worker how much I adored the book… and it turned out she was a good friend of the author (who sent me an autographed version of it when I was in the hospital).
2. Northern Lights (Nora Roberts)
3. Bet Me (Jennifer Crusie) -actually all Crusie’s are on my reread shelf, but “Bet Me” gets the most air time.
4. Dancing Shoes, by Noel Streatfield
5. Love in Blooms, by Judith Arnold
6. Tourist Season, by Carl Hiaasen (not to everyone’s taste, but I love his evil sense of humor). Sometimes I don’t want to be comforted, I want to kill, and Hiaasen is the best for that sort of mood.
7. Julia Quinn’s Bridgerton series
8. Lone Star State of Mind, by Bethany Campbell
9. Phoenix and Ashes by Mercedes Lackey
10. Mrs Drew Plays Her Hand by Carla Kelly (I also have a complete set of CK’s books and I occasionally reread all of them in one clump).
(De-lurking)
I would like to second (third?) Connie Willis’ To Say Nothing of the Dog. In good times or bad, it never fails to raise at least a few helpless giggles out of me.
For a gentler, more complete escape, I recommend one of my all-time favorite books that I give as a gift over and over again: Bridge of Birds by Barry Hughart. It’s a detective-romance-adventure set in “ancient China”. It’s clever and magical, and features a very non-typical romance that keeps me guessing no matter how many times I read it.
I’ve been having a very tough year, and Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum books have played a large role in getting me through it all. Other comfort reads include L’Engle’s A House Like a Lotus, and her Vicky books, and I also re-read the Anne of Green Gables series. Oh—and was introduced to Tamora Pierce, and enjoyed losing myself in her world for a while.
In terms of sending care packages, a friend of mine had a great idea: she sent me chocolate and a scented candle, etc, and a romance that looked AWFUL, with a card asking me to please report back as to whether the book was as bad as it sounded. It was, and I sent it back to her with snarky comments in the margins. Cheered me up considerably!
For me it was the Harry Potter books. When I was 8/9, I wasn’t very happy at school. I didn’t have many friends and I felt really low and had no self confidence. Then I saw a bit on Blue Peter where JK Rowling was talking about these books she’d written. The first 2 were out and the 3rd one was waiting for a release. I begged my mum to by me the first 2 which she amazingly did. Over the course of a month of bedtimes, I fell in love with the series, books and reading in general. I was the first person in my school to read the books and I got talking to others about them when they read them. They sparked my ferocious love of reading, something which continues to this day. They inspired me to pick up a pen and have a go at this story writing lark. And until last year, they got me through some of the toughest times of my life. I will always be thankful for JK Rowling and these books because I’m not exaggerating when I say they changed my life.