Creepy Stupid

There’s a huge ad in the subway for the Twilight movie, which opens Friday, and it gives me the serious creeps. I can’t quite figure out how all of the posters and promotional materials for the movie have taken a completely acceptable looking dude and made him Super More Vacant and Stupid Looking. In the movie stills he looks rather interesting. In the promotional pictures he’s… disturbed. He’s creepy in a completely absent and unfocused way. Seriously.

Take a look at this shot, which was taken with my camera phone so it’s not the best quality. Is it me or are his eyes aligned improperly, so that they don’t seem to be staring at the same point? It’s not quite Lazy Eyed Vampire… it’s more that feeling of unease that comes with wonky Photoshopping. I know when I look at some of the ads on Photoshop Disasters, it takes me a second to figure out why the photo is so disturbing, because I’m busy being disturbed without knowing the reason. Then I realize, oh, her arm is 4” too short or her head doesn’t line up with her body, or she only has one leg.

But with Vacant Vampire stare, I’m still creeped without knowing the reason for the creepy. Yet again, there’s something about Edward, and I can’t put my finger on it precisely. He looks normal in the still photographs but every artists rendering for the promo photos yields The Not Quite All There Vampire Boy.

And side note: what is up with the making of Kristen Stewart’s face and lips as rounded and babyish as possible in the movie posters?  In the stills she looks much, much older, but the movie posters? She’s got baby fat cheeks and a much, much younger appearance. What’s next, a Love’s Baby Soft advertisement deal?

Bonus enjoyment: hypothetical letters between Edward Cullen and Sarah Palin. Thanks to Liz W. for the link.