It’s soon to Turkey Day here in the United States of Carbs, and we’re happy to inspire your appetite, or perhaps drive it deep into the earth to hide until Groundhog’s Day, by allowing you to view and caption the following cover. What are they saying? What are they thinking? Dear GOD won’t someone think of the children? The blank eyed, oddly staring creepy children?
Best caption as chosen by me gets a $20 gift certificate to Amazon or Powell’s, your choice. Feel free to nudge my voting by telling me which in the comments is your fave.
And now… the cover. Feast (hur) your eyes on this!
[Thanks to Sharon and many others for the link.]
Stepford Family chooses paper turkey for Thanksgiving!
I’m not sure what’s funnier—the cover itself, or the fact that I’m actually reading this book right now.
captcha is “comes76”…I’m not even goin’ there
I can haz wishbone?
Unfortunately for me, I can’t relate to most of these entries because :
1) there are 4 children in the book
B) the guy on the cover isn’t the “Daddy”
Sorry
Is that a drumstick in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
Turkey turned out kind of dry?
Like colored construction paper you cry?
Housewives need despair no more –
Backdoor loving, holidays galore,
There’s nothing this miracle elixir can’t do
Happy Thanksgiving from us to you
Burma Sauce!
My husband’s contributions:
Garlic Breath, Paper Turkeys and Other Repressed Thanksgiving Memories
Humpin’ at the Kids’ Table
“Stare at Mr. Turkey Until I Say You Can Stopâ€
Teddypig, you’re brilliant.
If I wish upon this turkey my real parents will come and take me away.
I love Lindz’ “Daddy’s Girlfriend: The Other White Meat”…that one literally made me laugh out loud.
Butterballin is a close second for me.
Darn you Becky for taking “stuffing the turkey, saving its life”! *shakes fist*
Susie had been in a glass eyed state of shock ever since the grown ups started playing the “sit on my lap” game.
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“Would you like some drippings with your stuffing?”
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Little did they know that the child ghost that haunted their new home was a total perv.
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“What’s that, Turkey? You want me to wish them into the cornfield?”
I can’t top TeddyPig’s “Butterballin”. I’m not even going to try!
Now THAT’s a unique place to put the drumstick!
Honey, has anyone ever told you that you smell like …. turkey? Delicious, delicious turkey?
American Dad puts the pumpkin in her pie for Thanksgiving!
Benny! You never told me you had a kid when you were 12! It would explain the umm…oddness, with you not being fully umm… developed. oh, she isn’t yours. Is that why she looks photoshopped? (said in the stereotipical head chearleader ditzy voice, to go with the smile)
A Very Alien Thanksgiving
Dirk hoped that surprise buttsex would distract Lenora from the aliens stealing the pumpkin pie and the centerpiece…but he was wrong!
Between the tryptofane in the turkey and the magic mushrooms in the stuffing this was going to be one heckuva Thanksgiving.
Nothing says Thanksgiving like a nice grope in front of the kid!
“And yet they wonder why a disembodied turkey head is my best friend.”
Questions, questions, always the questions!
1. Why is there no actual Food in the picture?
2. What is the child’s right hand doing?
3. Why are they having obviously faux pumpkin?
No, II am wrong, there is butter on the table! So it is, in fact, Teddypig FTW! “Butterballin’”!!!!!
Um… what’s with the Pirate Shirt sleeves on daddums? And mom looks like she’s wearing a unitard.
It’s a vegetarian ballerina holiday! Just pumpkins, pumpkin… the only meat at this table is hidden up mommy’s tutu.
Everything would be all right, Dr. Turkey Head assured her. Just a bludgeon from the handy gourds on the table and all the noises during the night would stop…
Little did her parents know but Cindy-Lu had decided to take matters into her own hands. . .
Honey, I don’t think it’s a good idea…yes, I know she’s blind, but still….
“In this house, we like the stuffin’ in the turkey, hon.”
“You bad boy, you!”
“They’re at it again? Go to my happy place. Go to my happy place…”
For this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful that I can photoshop better than the people that made this cover!
Giblets! Not only do they make wonderful gravy, they also look like silly man bits!
Just a follow up to that comment, my aunt thought for years (into her 50s) that the neck of the turkey that they include in the giblet bag was actually the turkey’s penis. She had these notes on her recipe card that had a drawing of the neck labeled “penis.”
She’s really conservative, which makes the whole thing hi-larious.
Celebrating their first Thanksgiving on as Americans with the traditional turkey might not have been a good idea. The chemical in it that makes human men fall asleep watching football has a very different effect on their species.
Or my favorite Buffy quote: Happy ritual sacrifice with pie!
I’m horrible at captioning, so I’m just going to list my favorites: Teddy pig’s “Butterballinâ€, Shiloh’s “Is that a drumstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me†(very Mae West), and Jessica Anderson’s “I can haz wishbone?”
spam word: piece28 He’s certainly getting a piece and maybe on the 28th he’ll want leftovers
“I’m so glad mommy didn’t have to work at the strip club this Thanksgiving! But who is that guy?”
“Honey, I told you that is not the correct use for the turkey baster!”
And a more *cough* serious caption…“He’s getting ready to gobble up a special thanksgiving dinner.” Okay it wasn’t serious.
“Just a little while longer….I can just see the headline ‘the Texas Turkey Baster Massacre’ – the cops will never suspect a sweet little girl like me….”
My mind immediately went to cannibalism rather than sex, so I’m voting for “Daddy’s Girlfriend: The Other White Meat,” which is much better than my own lame attempt, “Yes honey, this year we’re stuffing Mommy!”
Teddy’s my fav, but I’m gonna try anyway…
“Daddy’s got the big prize, but I still have 7 more chances to win!”
Yeah, Teddypig has got this one wrapped up but I still have to put my two cents in.
Daddy has a Thanksgiving surprise for both of his girls this year. For little Sally it is a paper turkey, for Mommy…BUTTSECKS!!!
My first thought upon seeing this was the same as Lorelie’s “What-what in the butt”
Becky A’s “Stuffing the turkey, saving its life!” made me lol.
I vote that Teddypig wins hands down with “butterballin”
And Geronimo strikes again…
My word is can84, but I don’t think I even want to…
Between that and Butterballin, I will never be able to keep a straight face at T-day dinner.
Child: “Uh oh Mr. Turkey! Mommy’s Boyfriend is gonna play Hide The Giblets again!”
Man: Mwah! Holidays make me hornky!
Woman: Yay! X-rated groping in front of a child!
Turkey: Officer, THEY DID IT!!!