Caption That Cover: Turkey!

It’s soon to Turkey Day here in the United States of Carbs, and we’re happy to inspire your appetite, or perhaps drive it deep into the earth to hide until Groundhog’s Day, by allowing you to view and caption the following cover. What are they saying? What are they thinking? Dear GOD won’t someone think of the children? The blank eyed, oddly staring creepy children?

Best caption as chosen by me gets a $20 gift certificate to Amazon or Powell’s, your choice. Feel free to nudge my voting by telling me which in the comments is your fave.

And now… the cover. Feast (hur) your eyes on this!

[Thanks to Sharon and many others for the link.]

image

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    FD says:

    By the expression on her face, her joy was not unconfined. LMAO

    “American Dads do it at the table!”

    “Surprise?
    Oh yeah, he surprised her alright…”

    “Jim held onto her for dear life… any minute now the news that he’d broken the dishwasher was going to sink in.”

  2. 2
    Lisa Hendrix says:

    “It’s Shake and Bake…and I helped!”

  3. 3
    eaeaea says:

    ‘Stuff the Turkey’

  4. 4
    nkkingston says:

    Talk to the Turkey because the Face ain’t watching.

  5. 5
    Manda says:

    Little Cindy once again tried to cope with her parents’ love of kitchen sex by staring blankly at her handicrafts.

    “call21”—- maybe its her therapist’s number.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Sheila says:

    They’re making me eat raw pumpkin?

    Staring at the paper turkey should put me into a trance…I hope

    They always tell me no tickling at the table…hypocrites.

  8. 8
    Lindz says:

    Bad Photoshop brings the family together for Thanksgiving!

    Alternate title: Cannibal Holocaust Thanksgiving Special

    Daddy’s Girlfriend: The Other White Meat

    “able63”- I am patently unable to come up with something clever before my 63rd cup of coffee, which is why these are all rather lame.

  9. 9
    Lorelie says:

    What-what in the butt-butt, Thanksgiving style!

    “Not at the table, Jack!”

  10. 10
    Danielle says:

    “Guess what, my little princess? We’re going to eat your new Mommy for Thanksgiving!”
    “Yay!”

    (My captcha is hour19. Guess dinner starts at 7pm!)

  11. 11
    isidri says:

    “Don’t be scared, Mr. Paper-Plate Turkey. Sometimes when a daddy loves a mommy very much, he gives her a special kind of hug. And when he hugs her from behind like that, it’s a VERY special kind of hug.”

  12. 12
    Adler says:

    “The Heimlich Maneuver Has Never Been This Fun!” 

    “American Zombie Girls and the Sex Addict Parents who Love Them”

    “Surprise Backdoor Lovin’: It’s What’s For Dinner”

    “Good Thing Our Kid Is Deaf, You’re Screaming Kind Of Loud Honey” 

    “Not On The Good China!”
     
    “.xV1agR4_BUYNOW_H0Tx4m3r1cN_MUMZ bast3_teh_TURKEYxxxNEWPR3SCR1PTIONS”

    …and I’m out.

  13. 13
    Katherine says:

    I can’t caption that! When I clicked below the fold saw….it, I actually had a convulsive, full-body shudder of revulsion and horror! Oh, my stars!! It is beyond going from bad into good…it’s swung round back into bad, BAD.
    How can someone buy that?! Must be blurbs at work…

    Egads!

  14. 14
    Rainbow Tea says:

    The Paper Turkey God and its American Sex Show.

    (For the price of a pumpkin pie, the zombie child will eat their brains afterward!)

    I am so sorry, Miss Jacobs. No one deserves that cover.

    (Aaaah! Verification word: children58. The zombie children are multiplying!)

  15. 15
  16. 16

    No clever captions here. Is it just me or does that look like it could be the teenage babysitter from next door??

  17. 17

    Is that a drumstick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  18. 18
    Tina M. says:

    Daddy says, it pops when it’s ready!

  19. 19
    Lori S. says:

    The TURKERY!  You’re Supposed To Stuff The TURKEY!

  20. 20
    Becky A. says:

    Stuffing the turkey, saving its life!

  21. 21
    Susan G says:

    Look away, paper turkey friend, look away!!

    Good news, Mr. Turkey! This never lasts longer than 2 minutes and then they let me have extra dessert.

  22. 22
    Elizabeth Wadsworth says:

    “Sam, honey, I thought you said Lilith was dead.”  (for Supernatural fans only)

  23. 23
    Carrie Lofty says:

    This just reminds me of the best dirty joke I was ever told in grade school. A Thanksgiving-based narrative, the joke wasn’t good coz it was funny—not by any adult standard—but because it had cussing, which is the hallmark of fine humor when you’re eight.

    And now I won’t tell it. I’m enigmatic that way.

  24. 24
    Gin says:

    Here’s One I Made Earlier- The Billionaire Taxidermist’s Virgin Wife’s Thanksgiving Surprise

  25. 25
    LoriSusan says:

    Butterballin

    LOL Teddy!!!!!

    And that cover is frightening! So sorry for the author of that one.

  26. 26
    AnimeJune says:

    Child: White meat or dark meat, Daddy?

    Daddy: Oh, I think I’m a breast man, myself.

  27. 27
    theladyferris says:

    Do I Have To Wear This Dumb ‘American Dads’ Badge All Day?

    I Think We Are Going To Need More Napkins

  28. 28
    ev says:

    “Where’s the whipped cream Daddy?”

    “Coming right up sweetheart!”

  29. 29
    SamG says:

    The kids table will never be quite the same

    So that’s what ‘horn of plenty’ means.

    Sam

  30. 30
    Bren says:

    “I gave Daddy one of the blue M&M;‘s out of my table favor because it had a “V” on it instead of an “M” – yeah, I found it right here, in this one.”

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