Your Quest: Kinsale Poetry about, in tribute to, regarding, or generally celebrating any of Laura Kinsale’s books, characters, etc. You can write it in the voice of one of the characters, or you can write it to one of the characters (though I believe Candy will fight you over more than a few of them). Whatever floats your boat, it’s business
poetry time.
Your Poetic Format: Limerick or haiku. The choice is yours. You can enter as many times as you want. Bring it on, bring it often. Just bring it.
Your Judge: Laura Kinsale will judge the entries, and has the following words of encouragement for you poetic masterminds out there: Hints for contestants: My taste in limericks and haiku would probably be similar to Miss Leda’s. I will try not to give hedgehogs an unfair advantage.
Your Time Limit: You have 24 hours to post your poetic awesomeness in the comments.
Your Prize Booty: Thanks to SourceBooks Casablanca, we have a kickass set of prizes to give away.
The grand prize winner will receive a three-book set of the Kinsale books being released from Sourcebooks Casablanca: Midsummer Moon, Seize the Fire, and The Prince of Midnight, signed by Laura Kinsale.
Three honorable mention prizes will also be awarded, and the winners will receive one of the three Sourcebook Kinsale releases, also signed by Laura Kinsale.
So get your poetry on, folks. In order to inspire you, we provide samples.
Sarah:
The only thing wrong with these books
is not the lack of fine plot or sharp hooks.
The ephemeral art
lacks one crucial part:
There’s no Fabio-chest on my books!
Ah! Kinsale heroes.
The only thing more tortured?
The Dow Jones this week.
Candy:
Peripatetic
hedgehog saves the day. How d’you
like that, Mister Duke?
Victorian ninja
meets impoverished seamstress.
It’s awesome! I swear!
Green knyght abydeth
in bountee for his lemman
maugree temptacioun.
(Apologies for the mangling of the Middle English, but I couldn’t resist.)
Seamstress working late.
Ninja hiding high above,
stealing to right wrongs.
There was a ninja from Hawaii
Who stole a sword and had to hide
He met a seamstress
Who was sewing a dress
They sailéd away on the tide.
Only read two books
by Kinsale. What is up with
the freakin’ hedgehogs?
(Those would be The Shadow and the Star -yes, big surprise there- and For My Lady’s Heart. Years ago, and I don’t remember any hedgehogs.)
Widowed lady and
celibate knight fall in love
while traveling far.
Plots never believed
Laura Kinsale is the crack
My eternal love
There once was a Duke of Jervaulx
A sexy, smart tortured hero.
He was good with his numbers,
In bed he’d not slumber,
He made whats-her-name and me all aglow. 😉
Dear Allegreto,
“I have no other sovereign”
still makes my heart pound.
Candy’s bastardized Middle English haiku = awesome. Can you translate Chaucer and Sir Gawain for high schoolers?
“For My Lady’s Heart”‘s on My TBR Pile,
But have read no LK for a while.
But for awesome free books,
I will risk dirty looks,
And walk barefoot on coals for a mile.
I won’t attempt the poetry…however, the greatest prize in the world would be a new Kinsale book to devour…I’ve read a ton of other authors, but no one compares to Laura Kinsale, no one!
No Laura Kinsale
nor friendly hedgehogs alas
this poor reader fails
There once was a Duke called Jervaulx,
Whose approach to his life was gung-ho,
He was felled by a stroke;
Maddy’s conscience near broke,
But the better man won, tally-ho!
There once was a village called Toot
Where never a point was it moot
Letters abounded
Villains abscounded
And true love plus folly took root.
Ode to Many Stories
Ferrets and hedgehogs and tame wolves, oh my!
Crossdressing under full moon in the sky!
Balance: much stumbles
Madness: much bumbles
And the Marquis de Sade chances by!
There was a young writer named Kinsale
Whose works inspire odes that all hail
But I never have read ‘em
So I say, fuhgedd ‘em
In this contest, alas, I will fail.
There once was a young girl named Roddy
Who sadly heard thoughts that were naughty
A horse she did save
A rake she did crave
From whom she learned all that is bawdy
This was my first Kinsale and is still my favorite. : )
Upon searching my shelves and stacks,
I find my collection most sorely lacks.
And so must trust the good-grace to prevail,
Of the wise, beautiful (and generous) Laura Kinsale,
To relieve me of reading these hacks!
green mind turns muddy
a rose, counting rows thwart rows
love sprouts green through mud
Both of these are on my favourite Kinsale book:
Haiku
Hot ninja man rocks
Sweet little seamstress’ world
On paradise isle
Limerick
There was a man now past thirty
Who once thought all sexing too dirty
Then he met a young miss
He was desperate to kiss
Now they’re bangin’ on any surface that’s sturdy
Ceremonial Sword McGuffin
A Shadow once came from afar
To seek out his objet petit a.
Midst the Queen’s Jubilee
Found redemption in thee,
Most cordial and proper a Star.
*****
S.T. : a sad man.
Vertigo and a wolf his
Only souvenirs.
****
Advice for Newlyweds Buying Furniture
Manalo, eats raw
Onions in a front parlor,
Says to get a bed.
*****
The aphasic Jervaulx, former wise-acre
Once thought piousness was a deal-breaker.
Now a King in peruke
Comes to favor the Duke—
Still he’d rather stay wed to his Quaker.
*****
He Just Sounds Like a Normal Teenager
Robert Cambourne, once restless and lazy—
Winds up in India, lost, aimless and hazy.
Though he seems melancholy,
He’ll yet prove it to Folly—
He’s merely been high—he’s not crazy!
*****
and even though this verse form wasn’t specified…
Seize the Double Dactyl
Sheridan Angry-Man
A Tortured Sea Captain
Wanted to bilk the Prin-
cess of Oriens.
‘fflicted with PTSD
Incontrovertibly—
Finally slept in O-
lympia’s arms.
Quaker Maddy and Jervaulx
find the light shining
in her magical hoohah
“On a Return to the Romance Genre After Long Absence”
by a reader
Lately I’ve eagerly read
Wherever the Smart Bitches led
But not yet Kinsale
(Yes, I know, I fail)
If I won some, though, I’d be committed!
There once was a quaker called Maddy
Who was known to get into a paddy
Over sick sexy dukes
Who gave silent rebukes
When unable to talk to said Maddy
She was his folly
Safely married in England
Letters could not hurt
All right I can’t write poetry. But I would love to win an autographed book by Laura Kinsale. I love her books. The only thing better would be a new book.
Signed by Laura Kinsale?!
Okay… deep breath:
Dear sir! Gasped Leda,
a seamstress of virtue, pray
let me massage you
No, said the Ninja
awkward, pained, scarred and abused –
a hero, in truth
I am not worthy –
(My mother was French, she said)
– and sex is dirty
Still, love they made, ‘til
the Big Misunderstanding,
shame, guilt, swords, goldfish –
(I love you, she said.
I’m unlovable, he said.)
A fight scene ensued
with sharks and swords. Then –
a conversation resolved
the issues they had
Eeek. I did it for the books! I’m a discredit to the poetic form, and a shame to the woman who bore me, etc –
(for what it’s worth, I love Lara’s)
Though I haven’t read books by Kinsale,
I sure might cause I like to inhale—
Any novel that’s smokin’,
And here I’m not jokin’,
How much tail’s in tale by Kinsale?
A girl needs her education, that’s all I’m sayin’.
There once was a smart gal named Merlin:
A virgin till a lord made her wanton.
She wished only to fly
Which made him want to cry,
They argued till “I love you”s were spoken!*
*includes hedgehogs!
Esalyn, that’s awesome!
Oops. My “a” got kidnapped.
How much tail’s in a tale by Kinsale?
Kinsale and haiku you say? Count me in!
Buffle-headed man
Loved his thee-thou maiden prim
Fractured mind no more
————
Maddy’s in his arms
Fleeing from a spooky hall
Ain’t no ghosts in here!
My Sweet Folly is wonderful. Thank you for writing it.
Sweet knight, Monsoon soak
Never fall in love by letter:
Show me the way home
I gotta say I am SHOCKED at how many bitches have not read The Kinsale…you don’t know what you are missing!!! I say get busy, if ya don’t win ‘em, buy ‘em!!!
By the way, nice work Laura H! I can’t even come up with one!
captcha: hundred46…if she had 146 books, I’d read them all!
The life of a graduate student
Involves far more books than is prudent
But having missed every chance
To read Kinsalian romance
Trying to win this contest feels impudent!*
Seamstress meets ninja?
Heroic helpful hedgehogs?
Book wish list too long…
(to which poor over-worked brain says, “But they sound so shinyyyy….)
JD
*This rarely actually stops me.
Seize the Hedgehog (pace Marvell)
Metaphorical
Prickly beast, a small rolled ball
Runs in fiery tale
Maddygirl
Mathematical proof
Blind obedience, dumb love
Trajectories cross
Dark Knight
There was a young woman who sought
A hero whose hearing was shot.
She helped him find balance,
They formed an alliance,
And killed off a religious zealot.
Chiaroscuro
From cold England to
Bright Hawaii: Leda’s star
Ends dark suffering
JaneDrew, I like yours too. 🙂 I was in grad school until May and I’ve been reading fiction since then like it’s going out of style.
Left her on the rocks
Fear grasps like a hungry sea,
Fluctuating weight
There once was a plain speaking Quaker
Who married the Duke ‘cause he saved her
He thought she didn’t care
til she took down her hair
Quite a woman was the Duke’s little Quaker
I’ve read only Flowers from the Storm
and so paid tribute twice in verse form
but I want Kinsale’s books
so I’ll write this third hook
And hope for reviews more than lukewarm
(my first poem is up at 11:35 AM)
Thanks, Suzanne! I haven’t posted here before but I couldn’t resist this time. The poems were fun to write and a wonderful excuse to revisit my very well-worn copies of La Kinsale’s (as my romance friends refer to her) masterpieces. I have to second your comment—she is truly incomparable and every romance fan who hasn’t read her is missing out big time.