Squish: Caption That Cover!

Jane from Dear Author forwarded us a cover image that’s so spectacular, we had to share it. And challenge you to caption it with the appropriate sound effect.

image

Jane: Doesn’t it look like she is squishing his 6 pack together and the muscles are going to burst out through the skin like some pus from a pimple?

Candy: FWARGH! I physically flinched when that cover loaded.

The coy way her fingers baaaarely cover his manly nipples is hilarious. And her fingers are causing the surrounding titty to WRINKLE. Are her fingers the equivalent of super sour candy FOR NIPPLES?

Sarah: Awful, isn’t it? Like he has saline implants and she’s massaging them.

Do you think his man titty sounds like that squelch when you jump on a waterbed?

And behold, a Smart Bitch Contest is born! Caption that Cover—Onomatopoeia Edition: What is the sound made my his man titty when squished by her stubby little fingers? Feel free to weigh in with whatever caption you like, LOLs or otherwise, but we’re looking for sound effects, folks.

Winner as judged by Jane, Candy and me will receive a copy of a copy of Manhandling by Karen Anders, and a $20 Gift Certificate to Amazon or Powells (your choice).

Here’s a slightly-fuzzy close up of the wrinkly squish to, you know, inspire you. 

Comments are Closed

  1. OK, so we’ve got Blue Man Group latex coming into play here…I’m going with “skree…skree…skree”, the sound you get when you rub a balloon.

  2. LDH says:

    pressing into the mantitty: FLUBflubflub

    Making Mantitty wrinkles: shlippp

  3. Gemma says:

    Instead of a sound, I will go for three words that when combined always bug me [the second word being made utterly redundant by the first].

    “His Male Nipples”

  4. Claire says:

    rebyj’s AOOOGAH for the win

    personally I’m going with “phbbt”

  5. kerry says:

    SQURLLLLP.

  6. Reipan says:

    Zuchu-zuchu.

    Or the kind of squeaky-crinkly sound you get when you sit on a bag full of polystyrene packaging-filler type stuff. Like this: eeekkrrr…, gradually fading out.

  7. Esri Rose says:

    Splurk.

    But I think you should choose Rebyj’s.

    AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!

    OMG, I almost wet myself.

  8. Karen says:

    Let’s make that outie an innie!  *squirchz*

  9. StacieMc says:

    *purple nurple!*

    sqoosh

  10. Rachel says:

    This is from a MST3K episode: bingbong! Like a doorbell.

    But my real one is: sklosh. A combination of squelch and slosh.

  11. MelissaB says:

    skwee-kaw . . . skwee-kaw . . . skwee-kaw

    The sound of a mantitty squeaky toy.

  12. amy lane says:

    blurrrghhhieer?

  13. SonomaLass says:

    I think it causes a chain reaction.

    (Which, obviously, I do not know how to spell.)

  14. willaful says:

    sppppLORT!

  15. evabaruk says:

    Screeech, her nails went over the titanium chest implants; she hoped this was an anatomical isolation as she was anticipating a little squelchy bonking later and she hated to be bruised.

  16. ktg says:

    sqwicka sqwicka

    (spaminator: sound74! Indeed.)

  17. acdaisy77 says:

    Rump d dump
    Flicky d flick
    Plick
    Whooshhhh

  18. Gwynnyd says:

    Splump. Splump. Rhythmically massaging the reservoir in her new man toy’s chest, she hoped the “expand to fit” feature worked down below as advertised.

  19. Suze says:

    I’m with the balloon folks.

    Or, that creaking noise when you’re walking over hard-packed snow on a really cold day.  Reek, reek.  Hey, that works olfactorily, too!

    The really disturbing thing is that somebody, at some time, looked at that picture and thought, “Sexy!”

  20. Carrie says:

    Plunk, Plunk…

    My husband says that the guys would be saying… “Get your f*%@ing hands off my nipples.”

  21. Tracy Shields says:

    You know that sound that you get when you run your thumb over a just washed tupperware container? That’s the sound. Or maybe the tupperware burp.

  22. Amy says:

    That’s easy! It goes:

        R       R
        |      |
    O—Si—O—Si—O
        |      |
        R       R

  23. Amy says:

    Aaaahhhh Miss . . . please, don’t squeeze the charm . . .

    ;o)

  24. elianara says:

    “I haz bigger boobs than yoo!”

    ohhh… the sound: plurp

  25. Chrissy says:

    Dude is made of tempurpedic material???

  26. Danger says:

    It’s the sound of unsticking your galoshes from a thick, deep mud puddle:  shlooooORP!

  27. Brandi says:

    Don Martin, where are you now that we truly need you?

  28. sistergolden says:

    I just keep hearing the click-clack! of those old metal clickers (often called tin crickets)

    Like these: http://www.clickandtreat.com/page6.htm

  29. Madd says:

    phlrrrrewwwwishhh

  30. Kathy says:

    You know the sound your grandmother’s old washing machine made?  The machine with no lid, just the rotator and the tub?  Then the water gets going really fast with the clothes and sorta slops over the edge? Glooopsh, glooopsh, back and forth.  I can see it in my head as she torks his man titties.  Glooopsh, gloopsh.

  31. Deb Kinnard says:

    Sploosh, I think.

    Caption: “Hey! Yours are nicer than mine!”

  32. ev says:

    Neener Neener

    (think Mork and Mindy)

    crap, I had another one and it escaped.

  33. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhfffffffffttt ka-BLAM!

  34. Kimmako says:

    I’m sound effect challenged.

    Caption: So when I push like this, the whatis does which?

  35. Kimberly says:

    that sound that that funny silly putty used to make..between a wet squishy gurling sound you make with you mouth and some other bodily functions…or or…the sound it makes when you shoved your finger int he middle and the air escapes..urroghor

  36. LindaM54 says:

    If she lets go, will they stay that way?

    Or maybe he’s like one of those stress dolls – the kind where, when you squeeze them around the middle, their eyes bug out.  Except in this case, press his nipples and (you fill in the rest.)

    (position66 – is that when you’re only halfway to a 69?  Like maybe at waist level?)  😉

  37. rebyj says:

    I asked the man and his buds tonight what sound they hear when they got their hands on boobs. As if they have rehearsed the answer before they all said ” Blah blah blah blah TITTIES!!” 

    hahahaha!

    at least we gals got more imaginative sound effects.

  38. EmeraldDragon says:

    Wow, these feel very real. I was thinking of getting breast implants myself. Who did your work?

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