Squish: Caption That Cover!

Jane from Dear Author forwarded us a cover image that’s so spectacular, we had to share it. And challenge you to caption it with the appropriate sound effect.

image

Jane: Doesn’t it look like she is squishing his 6 pack together and the muscles are going to burst out through the skin like some pus from a pimple?

Candy: FWARGH! I physically flinched when that cover loaded.

The coy way her fingers baaaarely cover his manly nipples is hilarious. And her fingers are causing the surrounding titty to WRINKLE. Are her fingers the equivalent of super sour candy FOR NIPPLES?

Sarah: Awful, isn’t it? Like he has saline implants and she’s massaging them.

Do you think his man titty sounds like that squelch when you jump on a waterbed?

And behold, a Smart Bitch Contest is born! Caption that Cover—Onomatopoeia Edition: What is the sound made my his man titty when squished by her stubby little fingers? Feel free to weigh in with whatever caption you like, LOLs or otherwise, but we’re looking for sound effects, folks.

Winner as judged by Jane, Candy and me will receive a copy of a copy of Manhandling by Karen Anders, and a $20 Gift Certificate to Amazon or Powells (your choice).

Here’s a slightly-fuzzy close up of the wrinkly squish to, you know, inspire you. 

Comments are Closed

  1. 1
    Elizabeth says:

    Scrufflesnunch

  2. 2
  3. 3

    breast self exam: ur doin it wrong

    nom nom nom

    [ETA: FWIW, shudderlicious cover notwithstading, Karen writes a good Blaze!]

  4. 4
    Eunice says:

    Glugglormph

    If we’re allowed two

    Squeeekiiieeee (like a toy)

  5. 5
  6. 6
    Ahlison says:

    Psshloop

  7. 7
    DianeN says:

    You know how when you rub your finger across a balloon, it kind of makes a high eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound?

    And you know how when you press too hard it makes a big BOOOOOOOOOMMMMM?

    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeBOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

  8. 8
    Sandia says:

    pherrrrrrt

  9. 9
    Maureen says:

    She was alarmed by the hissssing sound her favorite toy made as she desparately tried to find the slow leak.

  10. 10
    kalafudra says:

    His nipples: linkle [It’s actually a verb, I think, but an onomatopoetical one]
    He himself gives us a reversed gasp, because that’s exactly what you do when your nipples are handled that way: psag

  11. 11
    Midnight Voyager says:

    The sound th-

    Damnit, DianeN, you beat me to it!

  12. 12
    katiebabs says:

    Poppin Fresh Dough anyone?

  13. 13
    MT says:

    I’m pretty sure that nipple’s channeling the Roadrunner.

    MEEMEEP!

  14. 14
    Jaci Burton says:

    squorshsquorshsquorsh

  15. 15
  16. 16
    MamaNice says:

    No sound effect here – the first thing that came to mind was,
    “Tune in Tokyo! Tune in Tokyo!”

  17. 17
    Marica says:

    Blub blub blub

    (This picture for some reason (I am worried!) reminded me of the “Blub blub game” my sister plays on the round little face of her 2 month old son, which makes him smile, if he is in a good mood…)

  18. 18

    hsssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    (as all of the air leaks out….)

  19. 19
    rebyj says:

    ‘‘AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!!”

  20. 20
    azteclady says:

    phfflllllllllllllllllllllllllllffffffffffrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    [veriword: hear22—imagine that 22 times]

  21. 21
    xat says:

    *skeeeeeeeeeee* *snick*

    “Damnit, Laurel! I need that nipple for…” *gurk*

  22. 22
  23. 23
    Lyvvie says:

    “You can only get the milk from the third nipple by pawing the other two. Go for it you hot sex kitten. Paw me! Paw me rough!”

    “Purrrrr…mmmslurp”

  24. 24
    Nick H says:

    All she needs to do to find the leak in that deflating air mattress is use some soapy water and follow the bubbles…

    Skheeeeeeeeekie!  Tssssssssssssssssss…. 
    Skheeeeeekie!  Tssssssssssssss….
    Skhee….ts…..  Rrrrrrrrip!  Huuuurhhrhrhrhrh..
    Phooooooooooo~~~
    ….

    “Damn it!”

  25. 25
    Cheryl S. says:

    floowishhhhh

  26. 26
    The other Laura H. says:

    “Don’t panic… the bicycle tire repair patch is in the garage; we just have to get there without my taking my hand away…”

  27. 27
    The other Laura H. says:

    Dang! Maureen, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that you’d said it first. But it really does look like he’s sprung a leak.

  28. 28
    Amanda says:

    I’m trying to think of a sound effect while also trying not to choke on my lunch from laughter.  This is beautiful.

    I say…

    YEAAAAAAAAAARGH! *splurt*

  29. 29
    Lyra says:

    This is lame, but I think I have to go with:
    “POP!”

    Yes, the sound of a fragile overinflated balloon when it meets a small, particularly sharp object.

  30. 30

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