Fuck a Duck, Part Two

Once again, ducks and fucking are inexorably linked, only this time, instead of Changeling, it’s philatelic folks getting in on the duck action.

The Fish and Wildlife Service misprinted a phone number on the back of an order form inviting folks to order duck stamps, so instead of getting the order phone bank, callers reach… a phone sex line.

The carrier card for the duck stamp transposes two numbers, so instead of listing 1-800-782-6724, it lists 1-800-872-6724. The first number spells out 1-800-STAMP24, while the second number spells out 1-800-TRAMP24.

People calling that second number are welcomed by “Intimate Connections” and enticed by a husky female voice to “talk only to the girls that turn you on,” for $1.99 a minute.

It would cost $300,000 to reprint the cards, so, frisky ducks will flirt with the stamp collectors until next year when new cards are printed. Fuck a duck indeed.

Thanks to Diane Whiteside for the link.

Categorized:

General Bitching...

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  1. 1
    Vicki says:

    I should know better than to read you guys while drinking my morning coffee.  Or at least have a towel to clean the snorts off the keyboard.

  2. 2

    I see a story in this:  Nerdy but cute stamp collector calls what he thinks is the duck line, but gets instead a phone sex operator who for once isn’t some 53 year old housefrau but is a moonlighting….hmmm…librarian?  Shoe designer?  His favorite comic book illustrator?

    It would, of course, be titled “Lord Love A Duck”.  Or maybe, “Make way for F*ckin’ Ducklings!”

  3. 3
    Randi says:

    Man, you just CANNOT make this stuff up. Darlene, I think you’re onto something. Go write that story!

  4. 4
    Vera says:

    It would, of course, be titled “Lord Love A Duck”.  Or maybe, “Make way for F*ckin’ Ducklings!”

    Thanks you guys, now I need to hang my keyboard out to dry, because I spilled steaming hot Tea on it…

    I’m guessing that the ladies manning the phone lines are gonna get some strange calls… this could plausibly start a new “Duck fetish” trend…
    On the other hand, stamp collecting has never been so exciting.

  5. 5
    ev says:

    Or at least have a towel to clean the snorts off the keyboard.

    I finally bought a keyboard condom for just this reason.

    Last year when we set up our calander kiosk, we had to call the hotline for problems. You guessed it- wrong number and it was a porn line. Wonder if these are really on accident??

  6. 6
    Suze says:

    What are the odds you’d get a phone sex line by random number transposition, rather than, say, an order line for a steel-toed boot catalogue?  I think this is proof of an intelligent organizing force in the universe, and that it has a sense a humour.  Or else the sex phone companies keep various brochure printing companies on retainer…

  7. 7
    LA Day says:

    Too funny!
    Lord Love A Duck could be a best seller.

  8. 8
    Anony Miss says:

    We have this problem at work, but only with our, ahem, brighter customers. Our toll free number is an 866 number… if you dial our number with 1-800 instead of 1-866, you get a very DIFFERENT type of service.

    When a customer then complains about our offensive service, it makes us all smile for the rest of the day.

  9. 9
    Estelle Chauvelin says:

    I see a story in this:  Nerdy but cute stamp collector calls what he thinks is the duck line, but gets instead a phone sex operator who for once isn’t some 53 year old housefrau but is a moonlighting….hmmm…librarian?

    I want badly to read that.

  10. 10

    Darlene – THIS IS A BOOK PLOT. Seriously. I have to read this. Get busy

  11. 11
    Melinda says:

    What are the odds you’d get a phone sex line by random number transposition, rather than, say, an order line for a steel-toed boot catalogue?

    well, years ago I had to call Apple computer’s help line and transposed while dialing and got a sex operator – maybe sex operator companies look for similar numbers to cash in on people like me. Well NOT like me cuz I just hung up, but people who transpose when they dial like I did.

    I’m hoping you write the story – I want a copy! Great plot. I’ve been wondering when an author would be inspired to use a phone operator for a protagonist since I do regular customer service…

  12. 12

    Y’all are too kind, but at the moment I’m up to my ass in privateers.  Which is kind of fun, actually.  Anyway, if someone wants to run with this story idea, you have my blessing.  I promise not to come after you and claim it as my own.

    Unless, of course, you get a six figure advance and a spot on the NYT bestseller list.  Then all bets are off.

  13. 13
    Wryhag says:

    No wonder we trust our government.

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