Ready, Set, Go – time to caption a cover so strange, we have to ask you to give it a caption. Voting takes place in the comments, and she who hath the most votes gets the prize. The prize? $20 to the bookstore of your choice – Amazon or Powell’s. So, have at it.
This one brings new meaning to the word “private box.” Or, maybe not so private.
“Look Away, My Love, Look Away.”
(What ARE they all looking at in different directions?)
Or:
“Shh, Do You Hear Something?”
Or:
“Public Chiropractic for Sex-Industry Workers”
I vote Jen C.
Also, am I the only one who thinks she looks less like she is lounging seductively, and more like she is about to give birth?
Maybe he is whispering lamaze directions to her…
“You’re beautiful my darling Natasha, and I’m so proud of you. Now breath with me.”
“I hate you Claude, and you’re never touching me again!”
“No, Scotty, honey. You screwed up the transporter beam again. I am not having sex with you just so you can do it sideways. By the way, did anyone tell you that you look suspiciously like a muppet?”
She had a trick hip and liked an audience .
He had a poofy shirt and a thing for contortionists and bondage.
Together, they shared a magical, bend-y love that knew no bounds in their GILDED CAGE.
Real Doll goes to the theater.
Vote-wise, it’s Ann Somerville, ftw!
Aw, damn. I was going to come up with something brilliant, but then I read Cheyenne McCray’s “You’re Doin It Wrong.” There’s no way I can top that.
“Sorry, honey. Not in my box.”
How could they keep the baby secret . . . when they left their GILDED CAGE?
Because that thing that might be her hip? Totally a secret baby.
I was going to make a mermaid joke, but Emmy did it better than I could. I vote for Emmy
needs69—Seriously? too much work for me!
“IS that Abraham Lincoln over there?”
Please, darling, I didn’t teleport my bedchamber to the opera just so I could stare at your shiny chest.
“Insert Finger Here”
Once intermission was over, Angelique and Raoul could get back to… the drama.
or
While the audience was distracted by the fiery horror of the Molotov-cocktail-juggling clown onstage, Miranda and her bodyguard… relaxed.
or
“Wait, Steve, did you hear that? There’s a hot dog vendor in the house!”
When Frankenstein’s next experiment goes horribly wrong, he creates a Gilded Cage in which to keep his beautiful and helplessly deformed beloved.
I’m sorry, but this scene has already been captioned by Andrew Lloyd Weber.
“Slowleee, gentleee, I unfurl my SPLENDOR!
GRASP it, SENSE it,
TREMULOUS and TENDER …
Turn! Your! Face! Away!
From! the! Garish! Light! of Day!
Turn your thoughts away!
from the cold, unfeeling light!
and listen TO THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT … !”
gah! my word was turn69!
“Are you SURE you’re a REAL chiropractor?”
If I weren’t at work, I’d see if I could replicate this woman’s posture. I’m entirely sure it’s possible. …I agree that her hip is not actually her hip.
A Comedy of Errors.
“Shit, honey, I forgot the lube.”
As soon as Edmond heard the sickening crunch of her spine, he knew his cover as a the chiropractor for the Royal Opera House was hopelessly blown.
“Is that your hip or are you just happy to see me? Hehehe… Wait. You’re a girl??”
Theatre producer to understudy:
It would be good if you, and your dress, could be done daydreaming by the end of Act 1. That stage won’t sweep itself!”
I have tried the pose, and it is just barely possible, IF you are really into yoga. However, comfortable, it is not! (oh my back! What was I thinking!)
Hold, still darling…just one more thrust…and we’ll have your shoulder back in.
“Frankly, my darling, I’d rather watch Atlanta burn.”
Angelina sighed. Her evening trysts with Rutger inflamed her with passion, but every time he flung the curtain aside she froze in fear. Would Brad be in the audience? Would he find her there?
“Loretta, spread me up another one of them baloney sandwiches! “
Meanwhile, out in the lobby, Romeo and Juliet discovered the secret ingredient that makes butter-flavored movie popcorn so slippery … yet salty.
“Yes, my darling, I hear you. You are … OMG! Would you look at what that woman is wearing?!”
I’m not even going to attempt this one! My vote is a tie for Cheyenne McCray and Lizzy in FLA.
You know, I keep coming back to this image and staring at it as I wonder which lump is her knee, the one above or below the tie-back. The more I stare, the more I believe the below-lump is the missing knee. But if that’s the case. . . zomgbbq, what the fuck is the above-lump?!1!?!?!!
h/Wait. Do you hear that?
H/Wah?
h/Is that…? It is! It’s the ice cream truck!
He whispers sweet nothings while Atlanta burns in the background!
“Not Now Darling, My Back is Broken!”
“Stop it, You’re Hurting Me!”
“Is it in? Is *what* in?”
“While James attempted to screw her through her dress, Lobelia managed to smile dreamily. It isn’t hard to lie back and think of England when your virtue is protected by a whalebone bustle.”
“Yoga for Couples- the really difficult positions!”
The Theater Bed Box! This great new invention is perfect for when the show puts you to sleep or when you want to put on your own show.
or
Here Martha’s assitants are demonstrating how to make a simple curtain cord multi-task. When used with a bit of lace and a pleated pink dust ruffle your cord can create a lovely demimonde gown suitable for the theater and bondage!
“I’m sorry, Reggie, but I suddenly seem to be turned off by your polio-shriveled legs.”
In The Rear will never mean the same again….
Even after squeezing the sandworm into the dress and clapping a wig on its head, Paul Atreides wasn’t sure the illusion quite hid its undulating form. Still, if dressing it up and taking it out was what was required, then so be it. After all, the spice must flow.
“Not now, dear—nobody’s looking!”
Sadly, I don’t have a caption.
But I did notice that this author apparently wrote a book called “The Fireflower”.
I’m sorry, there’s only one Fireflower.
It look like this.
http://themushroomkingdom.net/images/smb/fire_flower.gif
I saw this in a production of The Phantom of the Opera, once.