Caption This Cover: Category Edition

JebB dove into the user book store, and came up with a cover so excellent, she immediately sent it to me with the request that we caption this bad boy.

I dunno, really. There aren’t any decent puns that are at all obvious in the art.

As usual, vote for your fave, and I’ll use my paper and pencil to count up the votes and award $20 in gifty dollars to the winner. Ready set go!

image

Categorized:

General Bitching...

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  1. Karmyn says:

    “Not the pussy I was expecting.”

  2. Fionn says:

    As an extremely ugly woman walks across the street…

    “Screw having a face that shows everything I feel. I’ll just let this cat do all the work for me!”

  3. Karen says:

    His move to a new town was the best decision Jake had ever made; he now had more pussy than he could ever handle.

  4. Karen says:

    I don’t know why, but every time I look at it, I want him to be saying, “Hey, pussy, get off my back!” in a slightly jovial manner.

  5. Teddypig says:

    Lucy and the LoLpha Male.

  6. e says:

    The Pussy with Nine Lives

  7. Randi says:

    The man who lucked out with the unlucky pussy.

  8. Carrie Lofty says:

    I can has backrub?

  9. Karen says:

    Cat on a hot tan man.

    (Not that I think he’s necessarily hot)

  10. AbbyT says:

    WTF?!?

    That’s srsly the most messed up cover image I think I’ve ever seen.  And there are some really messed up ones out there.

  11. Karen says:

    You know how money begats money?  Well…

  12. Is that a cat on your back or are you just happy to see me?

  13. Teddypig says:

    The Furry Next Door

  14. Suze says:

    Lucy Fur, the Satanist Cat Fancier

    “It’s a Hell of a Good Time”

  15. Lyvvie says:

    Wizard Dimplepuss and his Familiar, Reiki WLTM sexy female for fun, loner dates and possibly more. No fatties, no deadbeats. Own car a plus.

  16. Marilyn says:

    What? A pussy on your back is better than a monkey on your back. Pass the candy corn.

  17. Sarah says:

    Don’t cross my path, dammit!

  18. Elf says:

    1)  Caption:  “Okay Genie, very funny.  You know I meant the other kind of pussy…”

    2)  Back cover copy-style:  [In a movie announce voice]  “The billionaire playboy stood head and shoulders above the rest…  Golden tresses, massive shoulders, a commanding presence.  He was powerful… seductive…  As a mark of his virility, instead of a _monkey_ on his back, he had a pussy…”

    *snorfles*

  19. Elf says:

    Oh hell… if it’s worth doing, it’s worth going for overkill.

    Revision of my #1 above:
    “Okay Genie, very funny.  You know I meant the other kind of pussy… and can we re-open the discussion about the eight-inch pianist as well?”

    *flees*

  20. JenB says:

    I am loving these!! LOL

    And who’d have thought there would be so many pussy references? *le gasp*  I’m shocked!

    I think this is the best 25 cents I’ve ever spent.  Who cares that it smells like mothballs? 🙂

    Thanks, Sarah!

  21. Meliss L says:

    Puss n’ Boots…

    …and Fluffy, too.

  22. karmelrio says:

    “I said I wanted some black pussy, but this wasn’t quite what I meant…”

  23. JenTurner says:

    Look what my Warlock ass did to the last bitch who didn’t pay her share of the rent.

    Seven years bad luck?  Have you seen what she can do with her tongue?

  24. Amie Stuart says:

    Now that he had Lucy, he wasn’t lonely anymore.

  25. Kitty on my back and I wanna touch it…
    Kitty on my back and I wanna touch it…

  26. Who cares that it smells like mothballs? 🙂

    Jen, in order to get rid of the smell, put the book into a freezer bag with some odour controlling litter tray gravel inside. Seal bag, wait a few days, and the smell should be gone. Or so I’ve heard. 🙂

  27. Jessica says:

    The first sent me into paroxysms of laughter.  I may never recover.  I used to read these religiously, but don’t remember that one . . .

    Spam word wrote49—that’s about how many words I’ve written today—away from the blog and back to the book . . . .

  28. Lucidscreamer says:

    Lucy loved a man who’d let her walk all over him.

    Tan McLargepecs had only been in the neighborhood two days and already he’d gotten some pussy. It was the best move he’d ever made!

  29. Kristen says:

    I can haz pussy?

  30. Lizzie (greeneyed fem) says:

    Silhouette Desire breaks new ground in their groundbreaking new series of man/animal romances!

    Will Lucy the unlucky-in-love black cat ever find the man of her dreams? Will Trent McCormick ever have a pussy of his own? Can they learn to trust each other enough to admit that their hearts are tired of being . . . loners?

    Find out in the first of Silhouette Desire‘s new Man(imal) of the Month series: Lucy and the Loner!

    (seriously, why is there no woman on this cover? and why is he looking lovingly and happily at the cat?)

  31. Marguerite says:

    After a lifetime of rejection, Lucy finally found the man of her dreams. He was both accepting and sensitive, a man who loved pussy regardless of color or location.

  32. Chrocs says:

    Don’t have a caption for this, but I need to rant that it’s impossible for a cat to be standing on that man’s back without freaking out and grabbing the shirt with its mighty claws. Have tried with five cats, different sizes and have the scratches to prove it.

    Wait! I have a caption:
    “More to the left, more… right there. Ouch! You promised no nails”

  33. Galadriel says:

    “It wasn’t until Lucy showed him her pussy that he realized just how much of a dog man he was.”

    OR

    “How disappointing. He’d thought Lucy was a little kinky when she told him she’d show him her pussy in the great outdoors. Yet he still held out hope that when she said they’d need a paddle, she wasn’t thinking of taking him to the lake to see the canoes.”

  34. Lori says:

    I can’t think of a caption that’s better than the ones already listed, but I just have to say that this is the only drawing I’ve ever seen that looks like it was Photoshopped.

  35. RStewie says:

    “Back of, Bitches, he’s mine.”

    Srsly, though, that cat looks ready to attack.

    I could make some horrid joke about that, but Petcka took all the humor out of “attack cat” jokes, for me.

    Spamword: progress43.  yes, I AM making progress.  no longer do I break down and cry about that.

  36. HbyOKrn says:

    SUMMER HEAT         ….One mans HEAT is another cats passion

  37. Btw, does he have any arms?

  38. LadyRhian says:

    (With apologies to “Weird” Al Yankovic’s “Gotta Boogie”…)

    Got some pussy! (backup singers: Got pusssy!)
    Got some pussy! (backup singers: Got pusssy!)
    Got some pussy on my shoulder and I can’t get it off!

    Spamword: now34. No, I’m actually older than that.

  39. xat says:

    “I said can, not man!” Basement Cat exclaimed just before shredding the interloper with all 16, razor-sharp claws.

  40. HbyOKrn says:

    The burden of pussy weighs heavily on every mans shoulders.    LOL This is awsome…I could do this all day.

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