What Books Would You Go To Jail For?

Here’s a story that might bring out the most virulent argument this site has seen yet: a woman was arrested for failing to return two books to the library for over a year.

Somewhere, a librarian just stood up and cheered. As someone who always wants the book that someone else won’t return, I hear you, librarian, I hear you.

But handcuffs? Wow:

[Heidi] Dalibor did not respond to four notices from the library, two phone calls and two letters. The library forwarded the case to police, who issued a citation for Dalibor’s failure to return the materials or pay the fine. The citation included a court date, which Dalibor admits she ignored.

Which books? White Oleander and Angels & Demons.

Seriously?

Julia, who forwarded me the link, asked, “What books would you go to jail for? What about the SBTB readers? Are there books you’d go to prison over?”

I honestly have to say that in this specific circumstance, I’d give the library back its book and buy my own damn copy, because Dalibor looks kind of like, no, wait, exactly like an asshole for saying, “I still have the books and I don’t plan to return them because they’re paid for now.”

But are there books I’d go to jail before giving up? Sure. Are the police at the door? Crap, I better go look.

 

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The Link-O-Lator

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  1. theo says:

    Ben, I in no way implied that anyone did this, nor did I say I had done it, nor did that ever come up in my post.

    What I said in my post was that I had called several times and asked them to check physically. No one could be bothered.

    And if I’m going to return 14 of the books, some which were much more popular and a lot more expensive, why would I keep one?

    You perhaps have the wrong person you’re either quoting or commenting to.

  2. Quercus says:

    theo and Toddson: WORD. 

    This same thing happened to me at my best library (note I don’t say my “favorite” library).  They shelved five or six books I’d returned without checking them in, and I ended up going to the stacks and bringing the books up to the extremely unhelpful person behind the desk.  I was mad, because it was just one of many instances of the poor attitude in that particular branch.  It was a lesson; now, instead of returning books to the bin, I take them to the counter and wait while the librarian checks them back in.  I never explain why I’m doing it; I just smile and stand patiently.

    That said, I often rack up late fees.  Often.  My disorganized life, let me show you it.  Late fees aren’t just a deterrent and a punishment; they also support the library and help pay for new books.  So bring on the fines and I will continue to pay them happily. šŸ™‚

  3. ChristineM says:

    I don’t check books out anymore mostly because of the length of time it takes me to read books now. My local library has not been a problem, but the one in the previous city I lived in was nothing but a headache. It was a gorgeous facility, but maybe they didn’t have enough staff, but I’ve had similar problems to those posted here.

    1. The book sitting on the shelf situation. It wasn’t busy at all, and no one offered to look on the shelf for me. I went and found it sitting there.

    2. I get a letter from a bill collector saying that I owed this library eighty dollars in replacement fines. I had moved, they found me, and the card was still in my wallet. I called them, and apparently they had checked out to me a Julia Child book, a middle grades reading curriculum, and a Mickey Mouse book. After twenty minutes, I finally got through to her that the problem was on her end because the library card was with me.

    Sure, patrons can be dishonest, but people behind the counter can be dishonest as well.

    I have always paid my fines I’ve come by honestly, but I wouldn’t go to jail for a book. I’d get my own copy.

  4. Suze says:

    Our library helpers tend to be underqualified and overworked, but so are most of the helpers in our town.  (We’ve had several restaurants close just because they couldn’t get staff.  Hmm, be a waiter for $10 per hour plus tips, or be a broom-pusher at the plants for $25 per hour for a guaranteed 40 hours per week, and get to sit around doggin’ it for most of your shift?  I dunno…)

    I recently went to the library looking for a particular book and found 4 “H” shelves that had the first 12 books by “M” authors.  Because somebody got lazy and just shoved books into whatever space was available.  And because the people willing and able to work for slightly more money than volunteers make don’t tend to have strong work ethics, especially when the customers keep yelling at them.

    Living in my town forces you to either cultivate patience, or spend big money on drugs to cope.

  5. SonomaLass says:

    Every public library I have known is dependent on its volunteers, and I am so grateful for both the paid and unpaid staff and their hard work!  But yes, you’re going to have human error.  I’m sure some people are very decent about that (on both sides) and others are less so.  And Ben’s right, there are people (I think he specifically excluded all of us, though) who would slip the book back on the shelf rather than ‘fess up to having kept it too long—especially if you were sure you already returned it and made a big fuss about that, only to find it later.  That happened to me once; I was positive that I had returned a book, I called and asked them to search the shelves, I searched myself, assuming it had mis-shelved, and I held onto the “lost & replace” notice until I absolutely had to pay it or lose my borrowing privileges.  Then I found it, and I almost paid the whopping fee rather than admit it.  I got lucky—the librarian on duty was wonderful, and we had a good laugh about it.

    Funny, when I sent this news item to SB Sarah, I didn’t really envision a discussion of library issues.  But that has been interesting, too.  Mostly it was a jumping-off point for me to think about what books I really HAVE to have, and what that would say about me to others….

  6. HaloKun says:

    I still have my copy of “New Swedish Plays” from my University library.  It’s been at least 5 years now, and no fines yet. 

    That’s right I live on the edge.  They’ll have to pry this book from my cold dead hands.

  7. Moth says:

    I wouldn’t go to jail for a book under these circumstances but you pry my copy of American Gods out of my cold dead fingers.

  8. ev says:

    I just buy the damned things myself too. If I can get on the waiting list early enough, maybe I will borrow it. I mainly use the library for older titles or a series I don’t know if I want to buy or not. However, I do use it for the audios.

    But go to jail- nope, don’t think so, unless someone tried to ban them.THAT I would die fighting.

  9. MJ says:

    As a librarian, I was jumping up and down!  You have no idea of the extent of theft from libraries, who will loan you the damn book for nothing.  All you have to do is bring it back!  One city library I worked for bought 100 test prep books for the ASVAB and the police department every year.  95 people would sign up for a card to take out the (then $12) book, and never come back.  With or without the book.

    At my current library, some asshat is taking the newspaper every day.  If I catch him I’ll give him the damn 50 cents to get his own damn copy.

    And if I ever actually see someone leaving with our stuff, they’ll get to see Conan the Librarian!

  10. ann says:

    One of my absolute favourite books is a little known historical romance/adventure novel published in the early 70’s called The Kings Shadow by Judith Polley.  My mother gave it to me when I was about 13; she had bought it used at a small bookstore.  I read and reread it many times over.  It also inspired me to spend hours in my high school library researching the whole era in which it was set, and the historic characters featured therein.  It was very old and yellowed when I got it, but now its battered and falling apart.  To save it, I’ve now wrapped it and placed in in a safe, cozy corner of my bookshelf. The truly horrible part is this: its no longer in print šŸ™ 

    So, I would probably go to jail for this book, if it was the last copy I could find.  I know its selfish (and a little bit pathetic),  but I’d probably justify it by saying noone could love it as much as I do.

    [btw: don’t laugh, but if anyone knows where I could get another copy, please let me know…]

  11. Megaera says:

    Then there’s the folks who deliberately “permanently check out” books that are a) very expensive and/or b) no longer in print/available at any price.  I used to do collections for a medium-sized public library, and we had one account who’d checked out over $20,000 in all-but-irreplaceable long-out-of-print art books and then utterly disappeared.

    Keep a bestseller, that’s one thing.  There’s plenty of Dan Brown to go around.  But deliberately steal rare books?  That’s entirely another.  At least this woman’s terminal stupidity didn’t cost the library something they couldn’t replace.  I wonder if she learned her lesson.

    art26—Yeah, something like that.

  12. szaleniec says:

    I had a library book once that I renewed so much that they asked me to bring it in to prove that I hadn’t lost it. It was an advanced physics textbook, quite heavy going to say the least, and I later bought a copy for myself when my means improved.

  13. Mia says:

    I would like to walk out of the library with Slash’s autobiography just so I could finish reading it…I can’t believe how much he got away with at such a young age and well into adulthood.  So in honor of Slash I would steal his book, then feel guilty while I read it… Then I’d return it to the library and beg for mercy!

  14. ev says:

    I would like to walk out of the library with SlashĆ¢ā‚¬ā„¢s autobiography just so I could finish reading it…

    um.. wanna borrow my copy? Or you could do what dozens of readers do daily- stop in at Border’s, grab something to drink and sit and read!!

  15. ev says:

    Oh, and did I mention the concert last year where I stood directly in front of him the entire night and was treated to not only some awesome guitar playing, his guitar pick, one hell of a smile and some really, really fucking nice man-titty and abs??? drool.

    I may old, but I ain’t dead.

  16. Zodiac Lung says:

    One of my absolute favourite books is a little known historical romance/adventure novel published in the early 70Ć¢ā‚¬ā„¢s called The Kings Shadow by Judith Polley

    btw: donĆ¢ā‚¬ā„¢t laugh, but if anyone knows where I could get another copy, please let me know…

    3 Available used at Amazon: just search Judith Polley

  17. DS says:

    I don’t know if anyone mentioned this above, but she wasn’t arrested for the library books, she was arrested for missing a Court date.  Even if you are innocent you must show up for the hearing or you will get a capias filed against you.

    I think she just got a good lesson in civics.

  18. Lyvvie says:

    Get arrested for pinching a library book? Not worth it. Not ever.

    However I would be tempted into something illegal to get my hands on the very rare Derren Brown magic books. The huge fancy ones with velvet covers that reveal all his magic secrets.

  19. Mary Lynn says:

    Uh. Never. —- Well, unless it was a book burning, of course then there would be wackos who would probably commit violence on your person.

  20. ehren says:

    the book about ballet stories that I used to constantly check out in elementary school. I can’t even remember the name of it, but it had the complete stories of various ballets such as Giselle and others… I LOVED it.

  21. voodoo chile says:

    Damn! That’s pretty intense for a library book.  I’m sitting here laughing at the bizarre nature of this whole deal.  There ain’t a book on the planet, including the Dead Sea Scrolls that I’d go to jail for.

  22. Heather says:

    Man, they can do that? I better return those books I’ve forgotten to return over the years. . .

    Extra funny: spam filter word was “trouble28”

  23. mia says:

    Love ya for that suggestion Ev!  I know what I’m doing after I take my kids to their first day of school. šŸ˜‰  You’re so lucky for that concert experience, the man is HOT.

  24. sisuile says:

    When I saw the title of the post, I thought we were dealing with this story, which is about a patron refusing to return books as a form of censorship.

  25. Fairings says:

    If this thing happened to me and I want that book badly, i just buy a copy for myself.

  26. Mantelli says:

    I hate library thieves.  Now, admittedly, I have had my problems with library assistants who have not checked in my books.  In the last year, I brought in a stack of books and put them on the counter, and the assistant didn’t check them in while I was in the library.  When I received an overdue notice for them, I called the branch on the phone, asked to speak to the branch manager, and told her this.  I asked for a shelf check.  Sure enough, the books were on the shelf and not checked in.

    Folks, if you are certain you returned a book, don’t just take it back to the desk yourself, call in and ask for that shelf check.  It helps a lot to do so.

    I got an apology.

  27. Interesting,  thanks for sharing this story.

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