Help A Bitch Out

Help Us Bitches Out: The Book Title

Candy and I, we need your input. Please. Pretty please with man titty on top. Over the past two days we’ve been having the most zippy reply-all email conversation with Powerful People In Publishing about our title. Not our Smart Bitch Title™, our Book Title.

We have four options for our book title, and we can’t narrow it down. Our problem? We’re somewhat, ok, a LOT used to the phrase “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books” because we look at it every day. Some folks think that “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books” is the eye catching element we need as the primary title, and other folks think that it should be the subtitle.

So, we figured, we’ll ask you. You guys, judging from your l33t Help-a-Bitch-Out skillz, know just about damn near everything. So, would you give us your vote on our title? Which one do you think is eye-catching, or at least interesting enough that you’d be curious to find out more?

As a thank you, here’s a teaser for our cover art, which is phall-bulous. We’re still cracking up.

ETA: Thanks for your opinions! Here’s hoping we’ll get our choice from The Publishing Folks. The final results of the poll are available here.

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Help a Bitch Out

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  1. “Behind the Heaving Bosoms and Throbbing Members” there are probably many heroes, approaching behinds from behind,  and “Beyond the Heaving Bosoms” there are probably lots of distant prancing horses and sinking ships, or possibly even some bosom-shaped but distant mountains.

    I voted for “Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels” but now I’m wondering whether “Beyond the Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels” might be better.

  2. SonomaLass says:

    I like the bosoms leading the way, with the Smart Bitches in the subtitle.  And I’d prefer to leave out the throbbing members—they make the title too long, IMO, and most people will fill in that part of the cliché for themselves anyway.

    It has a nice rhythm to it, and I can’t wait to pre-order it special from my local independent bookstore (the one that’s too snobby to have a romance section).

  3. Kalen Hughes says:

    Parsing the Inter-Textuality of Ejaculative Emissions: an Examination of the Immanent Altern

    *snort*

    I’m so making a dust cover for the book with this as the title.

  4. BethanyA says:

    Though the other options were funny, I voted for

    Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels

    because of the visual picture it paints.  What’s behind the heaving bosoms? Our heart.  And for the most part, that is why we read anything—we seek to have a connection, and test what we read with what we know and believe.  Unless, of course, we’re in the mood for erotica, and therefore seeking something else entirely! ;>

    I think this title will aptly fit what the romance community has tirelessly had to defend for ages:  A good book is a book, whether you found it in the romance section or in literary fiction.

  5. BethanyA says:

    Wow that post was a mess.  Here’s another try:

    Though the other options were funny, I voted for Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels because of the visual picture it paints.  What’s behind the heaving bosoms? Our heart.  And for the most part, that is why we read anything—we seek to have a connection, and test what we read with what we know and believe.  Unless, of course, we’re in the mood for erotica, and therefore seeking something else entirely! ;>

    I think this title will aptly fit what the romance community has tirelessly had to defend for ages:  A good book is a book, whether you found it in the romance section or in literary fiction.

  6. LauraKCurtis says:

    Definitely, the Smart Bitches need to go up front.  “Behind ” and “Beyond” are extremely weak by comparison to “Smart Bitches.”  This book may be, in part, about romance novels, but there are many books and articles on that topic (see, for example, today’s BBC article).  What makes this one different is that it’s by and for smart women as well as trashy books!

  7. Lovecow2000 says:

    I voted for Beyond the Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels.  However, I’d edit it down a bit to Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels.  Is there need for the first definite article? 

    Also, I love how the cover art looks like a vagina or a Georgia O’ Keefe flower.  😉

  8. Chicklet says:

    I voted for Beyond the Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels because the rhythm of it is nice, but also structured so it highlights that you two will be showing what the genre includes other than the cliched heaving bosoms.

  9. I go with “Smart Bitches” in the title first ‘cause that’s what it’s all about.  It’s a book featuring the awesome that is the SBs, and with the news coverage y’all have received over the past few years it deserves greater play.

    Besides, in a catalog listing, the full title might be truncated.  I’d go with SBs leading before heaving bosoms.

  10. the Smart Bitches need to go up front

    One could reverse the order of “Beyond the Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels” and turn it into “The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels: Beyond/Behind the Heaving Bosoms”. I like the idea of putting the “The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels” first, because I think that’s the most striking and self-explanatory part of the title.

    The trouble with “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels” is that although we all know which way to understand the “trashy books” part, people who’re not familiar with the site might not. So then the title looks repetitious (trashy books, romance novels) and they might assume this is a book attacking the genre. Of course, that might be a good tactic, because if they want to read something denigrating the genre they might be lured into buying the book and then be converted into appreciating the genre by the wisdom of the Smart Bitches. On the other hand, it might put off some romance lovers who haven’t seen the site and so won’t realise that you’re reclaiming the term “trashy books.”

  11. Chrissy says:

    Shorter is better.

    But I’m so stoked to get my hands on it, regardless!!

  12. Cyranetta says:

    Although my official vote went to #1, my subversive vote would go to “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Heaving the Bosom for Fun and Profit”

  13. Maya says:

    ok, but the teaser shows what:  a heaving hand? a throbbing ballgown?

  14. Joanne says:

    Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels

    You worked hard to have SB-TB be a recognized name so please go with it as a lead in … but I like Beyond better then Behind ‘cause unlike another poster I didn’t think of the heart as being behind the bosoms… I thought: ‘what? what’s behind the heaving bosom?  A transvestite?’

    Whatever, much success to you!

  15. katiebabs says:

    I like this one:
    Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels

    Since you gals have a fetish for heaving bosums, male or otherwise 😉

  16. Mel-O-Drama says:

    I like BEYOND better than BEHIND. Probably would’ve chosen #1 if BEYOND had been in the title.

  17. Eva Lynn says:

    I love #4 madly.

    …but I voted for #2 because it flows best, and also because it kind of feels like it opens up a whole area of books for y’all.  You know, as though there may be in future be Smart Bitches’ Guides to other things as well (even if they’re romance-centric, like Guide to Paranormal Romance, Guide to Regency Romance, whatever).  And that pleases me.

  18. Wryhag says:

    Yup, gotta go with what flows while dishing up pertinent info.  (Although, I must say, there are so many alternate titles.  I delight in thinking of them!)

  19. Marie44 says:

    I voted for #2, but I actually second Laura Vivanco’s suggestion as a better alternative, for all the reasons she states:  “The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels: Beyond the Heaving Bosoms”.  “Smart Bitches” is eye catching, as Darlene points out this title can be shortened and the gist of the book is still obvious.  I also like “beyond” better than “behind”, as many commenters have already stated.  “Behind” makes me think of a “behind the scenes” type scenario, more gossipy than thoughtful, IMO.

  20. Wryhag says:

    Oops, forgot to add:  You might want to eliminate the “the” in front of “heaving bosoms” (i.e., Beyond Heaving Bosoms . . .).  It really serves no purpose except to take up valuable cover space.

  21. AbbyT says:

    Oh man, I voted, but I REALLY wanted Parsing the Inter-Textuality of Ejaculative Emissions: an Examination of the Immanent Altern.  As a former post-colonial lit major, I loves me some alterns.

  22. DawnM says:

    LOL. I saw that image and first thing that came to mind ( without even seeing the titles ) was ” No my bosoms aren’t heaving”.  So by that measure heaving bosoms must be in the title.

  23. liz says:

    Whatever Nora thinks will sell. No, really, that’s how I would structure my working life….

  24. I like “Beyond Heaving Bosoms:  The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels.”

    What IS that picture, anyway?  Isn’t it yonic, rather than phallic?  Or is there a penis hidden among those folds?

  25. Elyssa says:

    I think Smart Bitches needs to go first—-someone mentioned this before but you and Candy have built this site and people will buy the book because it’s Smart Bitches and their take on beyond the romance covers.

  26. Never mind.  I see it now.  *blushing*

  27. I can’t resist a throbbing member…

  28. Elyssa says:

    Or it could be… Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Ripping the Bodice Apart

    *g*

  29. Rebecca says:

    I just realized that I know nothing about your book (congratulations, btw). Is this a guide to romance novels for the romance reader or is this an explanation (not an apology) to those who don’t read the genre to the genre and its readers? Is this a rebuttal to all the stigma attached to the genre?

    If it’s the latter: Could we take the heaving bosoms out of the title? Maybe the title could be: Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Or, Why Romance Rules Books Sales.

    Just an idea.

    But, back to the poll:

    I voted for #1 and totally agree with Bethany and Laura V.

    Reasons to lead with SB, TB:

    1.) Your blog title says it all. It is pithy and interesting and totally unapologetic. Personal anecdote: My father, the veteran academic, who never met a deep serious book he didn’t like, and never understood my love of this genre, got your blog immediately and also had no problem relating it to me, his smart daughter who looooves these books.

    2.) It is a much better attention-getter for the no-understand-please-don’t-try-to-explain crowd…after all, we are your market, so you may be sure that we’ll buy and read your book. The idea (to my mind) is to attract the folks who are not in your market.

    3.) SB,TB is your brand. Always, always support your brand. Don’t dilute it if you can help it…

  30. theladyferris says:

    How about “The Smart Bitches’ Panting, Heaving & Throbbing Guide to Romance Novels”?

  31. I like SB,TB up front. It’s more eye-catching, then the subtitle lets the reader know what the book is about.

    I’m also a fan of “beyond” rather than “behind.”

  32. Eva Lynn says:

    You might want to eliminate the “the” in front of “heaving bosoms” (i.e., Beyond Heaving Bosoms . . .).  It really serves no purpose except to take up valuable cover space.

    I have to respectfully disagree—I feel it serves the meter of the phrase.  With it, you have an iambic tetrameter: beYOND / the HEA / ving BO / soms.  Without it, I find the way the two emphasized syllables (yond/Hea) butt up against each other awkward.

    I also agree that, regardless of the eventual arrangement, ‘Beyond’ is better than ‘Behind’.  What’s behind the heaving bosom is ribcage and internal organs.  I do not wish to delve further into that. >_>

  33. RfP says:

    “Heaving bosoms” is pointlessly obnoxious.  “Smart Bitches, Trashy Books” is obnoxious in a good way.  Can the bosoms.

  34. LizC says:

    I went with the Smart Bitches leading the way because that’s what people familiar with the site will notice right away and it’s, I think, different enough to catch the eyes of people who might not be familiar with the site.

  35. Lovecow2000 says:

    My only worry with having SB/TB first is that the less discerning my see it as a rip off of the popular “Stitch n’ Bitch” series of knitting books. 

    And if anything is going to be ripped off, it’ll be my bodice! 

    Definitely keep “behind” out of the title for reasons already cited.

  36. Rene S. says:

    I voted for #2, but I actually second Laura Vivanco’s suggestion as a better alternative, for all the reasons she states:  “The Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels: Beyond the Heaving Bosoms”

    I agree with this statement.  I voted #2 mainly b/c I prefer beyond to behind, but after reading all the comments, I would go with putting SB up front.

  37. Keri Ford says:

    SB,TB should come first for the reason stated above (leaves you open to future titles, that’s your eye-catching brand). As far as the beyond/behind thing, doesn’t make a difference to me. I’m not seeing hearts or organs, just an inside scoop sort of thing

    But I like Elyssa’s

    Smart Bitches, Trashy Books: Ripping the Bodice Apart

  38. Keri Ford says:

    Oops! Forgot to add. I don’t like the guide one, because I see guide on a book and my mind starts thinking “Idiot’s Guide to (fill in the blank)”

  39. Tracy says:

    You got to have more than heaving bosoms, you got to have the throbbing members! I went with #3.

    Oh, and if you need help with finding a title for your latest romance novel, you can always try the Random Romance Novel Title Generator

  40. Octavia says:

    I second Laura Vivanco’s option too.

    I get slightly put off by ‘throbbing members’. Erm… in the title. ‘Behind’ in the same sentence as members and bosoms… well, my mind goes to other bodyparts with that. “Smart Bitches,Trashy Books: Behind the Heaving Bosoms of Romance Novels” feels not right: put this way it is as if the romance novels themselves are about smart bitches who read trashy books – at least, that’s how I read it. So I went with 2, but yeah, even better when adapted. I think it will draw the most readers who don’t know this site but read romance novels in general, apart from those who do.

    This was a weird comment to write.

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