I know a few people, including myself, who want to be in Australia right now. Not only was there that whole RWA (Aussie) conference that just ended, but certain people from certain publishers are running around Oz having a grand old time (even though it’s winter there, oy!) and have I mentioned enough how much I love Australia and New Zealand? I might even learn to appreciate the salty strangeness that is vegemite.
Aussies and Kiwis are some lovely people. Having worked with scores of them in summer camps over the years, I can tell you, if you want to have a mad crush on a nationality, Aussies and Kiwis are the way to go. They’re gregariously friendly, and, if sweeping generalizations could be made (which they are round these parts like damn and howdy), they have a sort of beach mentality. Relax. Go outside. Have a beer. While Americans (sweeping generalization ahoy!) are inveterate workaholics, Aussies and Kiwis seem, from my faraway viewpoint, to be much more laid back, and gosh how I envy that. I’m not cut out to be a workaholic.
The other thing I love about the lands down under, particularly at this moment Australia, is the entire showbag concept. You go to a show or a fair, like the Royal Easter Show or the Royal Melbourne Show, and there’s show bags you can buy. Kind of like the baddest of the badass party favors, only you buy them. Different vendors put together bags for folks to purchase, from dude-centered magazines to something called the Bertie Beetle showbag. This September, at the Royal Melbourne Show, the Grand Ridge brewery will be selling a $10,000 “showbag” packed with beer and beef.
(Special note to Spoetzl Brewery: please sell showbag filled with Shiner Bock in New Jersey. Preferably at the Meadowlands, because I can drive there and pick up all my beer. xoxoxo, Sarah)
Also appearing at the Royal Melbourne? The same showbag that filled my heart with great chest-hair laden joy: the Hoff Bag. Filled with a t-shirt, wig, mug, fluffy dice, beer cozy (known in Oz as a stubby cooler), headband, wristband, air freshener, bottle opener, necklace, ring, all in a red cloth bag, the Hoff Bag is a piece of wonderment that will keep folks talking for years. Particularly the air freshener. That part nearly made Hubby fall off his chair giggling.
Thanks to two wonderful Australians, I have something SO cool, I’m not sure what to do with it. I have TWO Hoff bags. TWO. All that Hoffin’, just for me. From faraway Australia, the Hoff and his bag o’ booty arrived in Jersey, tempting me with the headband action and the fine beer cozy. Well, the beer cozy was easy to resist. I can’t buy Shiner in Jersey.
Now I have to figure out what to do with these here bags of Hoff. Who wants a small piece of Australia and a furry piece of Hoff? Who can resist the possibilities of The Hoff Bag? What shall I do to award these majestic bags of Hoff? Any ideas?
I mean, Hoff wig, y’all. HOFF WIG.