Cheyenne McCray has 13 ARCs of her new book Dark Magic and these ARCs are looking for homes. Why not with Bitchery members, right? The book comes out in November, so you can get a sneak peek at the story. All you have to do is come up with an answer to the following question: if you could create one fail-safe spell that would be yours to use forever, what would it be?
Me? The ability to wave my hands and have clutter, dirty dishes, and random crap strewn about my house instantly in its place. This particularly applies to the stuffed animals that one of my cats sees fit to “kill” and “present” to us while we’re not home, leaving us with about six or seven “dead” stuffed animals on the kitchen floor every single day.
Cheyenne’s is similar – a wave of one hand, and the house is clean. What about you? What powerful spell would you like to have in your arsenal? Never being late? Never sitting in traffic (oh, I might have to change my answer now….)? Name your spell in the next 24 hours, and Cheyenne will pick 13 winners. Bibbity, bobbity, boo!
Hmm..well, I’d first snatch up the insta-clean spell that included laundry, but after that I’d want a spell that would automatically merge cars when the lane is ending. (One of my biggest pet peeves is the idiots who wait until the last minute to merge, then slows down the rest of us when said idiot slams on the brakes and darts in.)
Yeah….I’d turn people into baboons.
Is this spell only for personal area or can I have a global spell? If so, any male (or female for that matter) attempting to have non-consensual sexual relations with anyone, including people under the age of 16(?) instantly gets turned into whatever they are attempting to abuse.
I have to go with a transport spell. I love to travel and my husband won’t fly. If I could get us from here (Georgia) to anywhere in the blink of an eye, twitch of a nose or even astride a broomstick, life with this otherwise wonderful man would be practically perfect!
Okay well mine is selfish, I want perfect skin, no flaws whatsoever!
I want a truth spell like Wonderwoman’s golden lasso. I wanna know when people are lying to me. It needs to work long-distance so I can tell when politicians and others in the media are blowing smoke. “So, Chinese Gymnastics Coach, how old is that girl anyway?” “I am forced to tell you she is actually 13.” And it especially needs to work on my kids!
I’d like spell/power that allows me to share what I’m feeling – for medical staff. So when I visit my doctor and he says “You might feel some slight cramping” I can let him feel exactly how much of an understatement that is. Or so when I go in and tell them how painful some thing is I can show them instead of them saying “Oh, I’ve never heard of that being painful, it can’t be that bad.” I would also like to be able to use this power for other folks, not just myself – as in being some sort of conduit for them to their docs.
My spell would transform me into my 25 yr old body but with my 46 yr old experience/wisdom….
A spell that made every library book I wanted at the library magically be there, and not checked out.
There’s only one “spell” I chant on an occasional basis, once uttered by a wizard on a cartoon show long ago. After an adventure went wrong, the call for the wizardly owl would go out, and he would indeed come, lecture the poor wayward turtle character about overreaching his ability or some such, and would send the poor turtle character back home with with this chant, said in a very Central European (German?) accent:
“Dreezel, Drazzle, Drozzle, Drone. Time for this one to go home”
And then the screen would spin and the turtle would be back in the safe confines of his house, regretting whatever he did, and yada yada yada. But of course we all knew that in the next episode, the turtle would again go out and party too hard and take too many drugs and do the same thing… Well, whatever.
This is the spell I want to have actually work. A spell to allow you to get home no matter how bad you screwed up. Like George Bush and Iraq.
Teleportation, hands down.
Not only could I travel the world and still sleep in my own bed, I would open an instant delivery service that would beat FedEx and UPS, thus earning a living. Sure, I could teleport into a bank vault, but that would be stealing, and I don’t do that.
BTW, I loved the novel by Stephen Gould, Jumper. Missed the movie, tho. Meh.
Instant Cabana Boy Crew.
At a snap of my fingers, a whole crew of cabana boys (why stop with one when you can have a flock/swarm/harem) would instantly appear, willing to fulfil my every desire. These cabana boys would be willing to do any dirty, nasty thing I wish.
You know what I mean – drive car pool. Drop off the dry cleaning. Pick up the limbs TS Fay blew down that still litter my yard. Take out the trash. Take the stack of packages to the post office. Remember to do daily back ups of the mission critical files on the pc.
What did you think I meant? 😉
Ohhhh, god, the instant clean-up spell would be magnificent. (Or the instant re-energizer one, think of all the extra time for reading!) But what would be really awesome would be to twitch my nose and have one more chapter in a book. Sometimes I’m just not quite ready to give up the story when it’s over.
I always misplace my keys and my mobile phone so I would like a spell that finds them instantly for me.
But the a wish a day spell would be great, to clean up the apartment one day, and do the dishes the second (I love cooking, hate the dishes) That was one mighty idea eaeaea.
Grrr, all the ones i thought of are taken.
House cleaning, transportation and extra space would be my faves. Especially extra library space. A spell where you could be transported to another dimension where time almost stands still compared to us, so you could go to your library and sit and read in peace to your heart’s content, then come back out and you haven’t missed anything.
Oh…how about one that would finish all those half-completed home improvement projects my darling dear devoted hubbie (love the guy to death but…) has proliferated in the house and the backyard.
My body is the perfect shape, muscle tone, blood pressure and all around healthy! No bad genes to speak of, no cancer cells waiting to sneek in and wreak havoc on life.
Humm…I think I might like to give that to everyone. That way the world can worry about important stuff…like finding love, peace and happiness!
Hmm, I want a spell that’ll give me energy to get things done: something I could mumble every morning that has the same caffeine equivalent of 4 cups of coffee without the jitters and stomachache, so I can stay up til 3 am studying and/or reading and still go to work the next day without seeming dead or drunk… 😀
I would like a spell that could find anything lost. From a missing child to misplaced homework. Yep, a “find it for me” spell is what I would create.
As I stand in the space between the worlds, I stand in front of the altar I have created for the directions and the goddess and the god.
I ask for courage and luck, then I raise a cone of power with my intention on instilling the spell into a special wand.
The next morning, I bring my wand to work and wave it blithely at my computer…when I log in, I find that yes the spell works. My documentation is all done for the month.
A spell that would instantly and accurately replay any prior conversation, no matter how long ago or how recent. That way, when one party claims not to have said “I’ll take the kids to practice,” or another swears “I told you I was going to buy a 52-inch television this afternoon,” there is proof, one way or the other, of what was actually said or not said at all. This spell would be handy for avoiding those circle-jerk conversations that devolve into “no, I didn’t, yes, you did” territory.
Silver James, love those Newfie puppies! We had them for years and yeah, every drink of water, every bite of food, and it’s beat feet outside. We kept a stack of towels all over the house because the slobber would strike without warning. Bibs are a good idea, too, when traveling, although finding one big enough is the problem. Lucky you! 🙂
My spell would instantly reveal to me an understanding of anything I did not understand, whether it be a different language, the meaning of a word or phrase, or the answer to a riddle.
I’m all for the instant teleporting. My mother and I used to watch Charmed together and we both agreed we wanted to be able to orb.
Image popping over to Paris or London for Lunch with a simple thought and no passport needed.
How about a quick weekend in Hawaii with no horrible jetlag.
The first thing that came to mind was a traveling spell and I see that lots of people thought the same thing. In my case it would not be for the commute since my commute is very short but the spell would allow me to travel close to all those people I care so much about.
My only daughter is in Rochester, NY where she is finishing her degree at RIT, my sister lives in New Hampshire, my brother lives in North Carolina and my parents live in Puerto Rico. Years might pass before we can visit (well my daughter comes every 4 months-THANK GOD!!) and I miss them terribly.
I would like have a spell that will take me anywhere I want instantanteously so that if I have had a rough week I can be close to some lovin immediately!
would love to have a spell so that I could craft failsafe spells on an as needed basis. LOL i know I am greedy. But failing that would love to have either the traveling/transportation spell or the good health spell I figure that one would include weight control lol so I would get a twofer.
A do over spell, where if I screw something up royally I can do it over without consequence
Would love to have a spell that got me expertly dressed every morning, with my hair instantly cute, and make up perfect.
I would love to have a spell that could transport me where I needed to go without having to commute. Just snap my fingers or say a little spell and poof, I’m at work, or the store or someplace actually fun. Either that or one that if I did have to commute, I was in an invisible bubble so that I would still feel clean after riding on public transportation.
I’d cast a spell so that I’d always have excellent luck, every hour, every day
Fail-proof spell… Mmm, I would love to have a spell that once I opened my eyes in the morning, I have a major boost in confidence in whatever I do or the challenges before me.
Another spell I would love is to keep myself from over-worrying, over-stressing the littlest of things.
I would love to have a spell to make all of my animals behave beautifully, never fight with one another or any animal outside of the home, and be perfect little angels (with 5 dogs and 3 cats in residence this is a big thing).
The spell that I need, however, is one that allows me to melt fatigue and exhaustion away, so I can utilize my day more fully!
Truthfully… I would like a poof to happen so that I can create websites and write to earn my pay.
haven’t sold my book… though the websites are making a little money…
I want a spell for weed-b-gone in my yard and garden. Oy, my back.
What a loaded question and pondering the answer I came up with several answers! lol
I would have several combined:
Bibbity Bobbity Boo (poof) snap me fingers and have a clean house, spending money to go shopping as the house is already clean and make love with my hubby (as he acts out being a Highland warrior, vampire and Panther shifter)!
Nope thats not to much to ask for !! lol
This is a hard one because I would like to have two spells.
One is to clean up the house instantly with everything spotless, the other one would be to make myself always look young and beautiful
I want a crystal ball. Maybe if I knew what was coming, I could fix things in advance.
I would have to choose a protection spell. One I could cast on anyone I care about. 🙂
I’m unable to drive and would love just be able to transport instantly to where I want.
Or a put on shoe spell. I have C.P. Putting on my shoes is one of the most painful annoying parts of my day.
Ha, I’d love to have an orgasm spell. I’d use it to bind the world to my will. Oh hai, you’re a good parent? Bzzt, toe curling pleasure! Oh hai, you cured cancer? Bzzt, there you go! Oh hai, you washed my dishes for me? Bzzt, this is my thank you! Oh hai, humans rights violations? Nope, no bzzt for you! Sorry!
I figure I could build up an army and rule the world in no time simply by pointing my finger.
I’m a pack rat and schlep far too much stuff with me as I leave the house. I’d love a spell that would allow all the crap I accumulate during the day that I don’t need to just disappear. That way at the end of the day my purse would only hold the necessities and my car would be clean. : ) Ahhh… bliss.
I also briefly entertained a road rage zapper, but figure that I would abuse that privilege.