Cast a Spell, Win a Book

Book CoverCheyenne McCray has 13 ARCs of her new book Dark Magic and these ARCs are looking for homes. Why not with Bitchery members, right? The book comes out in November, so you can get a sneak peek at the story. All you have to do is come up with an answer to the following question: if you could create one fail-safe spell that would be yours to use forever, what would it be?

Me? The ability to wave my hands and have clutter, dirty dishes, and random crap strewn about my house instantly in its place. This particularly applies to the stuffed animals that one of my cats sees fit to “kill” and “present” to us while we’re not home, leaving us with about six or seven “dead” stuffed animals on the kitchen floor every single day.

Cheyenne’s is similar – a wave of one hand, and the house is clean. What about you? What powerful spell would you like to have in your arsenal? Never being late? Never sitting in traffic (oh, I might have to change my answer now….)? Name your spell in the next 24 hours, and Cheyenne will pick 13 winners. Bibbity, bobbity, boo!

Comments are Closed

  1. isidri says:

    To make something I’m about to eat have no calories or artery-clogging properties.

  2. phinea says:

    I would be able to run my fingers through my hair and it would be perfectly styled.

  3. Rhian says:

    On waking up, I would wave my hands and I would be magically washed, dressed, with my hair styled and my face made up. Oh, and there would be a steaming mug of coffee and toast with marmalade sitting on my desk.

    (I am not a morning person.)

  4. EJ McKenna says:

    I’d love a paperwork spell!

    I’d wave my hand and the spell would accurately fill in any documents, paperwork, reports, taxes, accounts, contracts, etc. (This spell rocks!).

    Just the thought of never having to do taxes again…. what magic!

  5. Ana says:

    oh how exciting.

    I would like to have a spell that could cloak my desk and computer at work from everybody else’s eyes (but specially my manager’s) so that I can spend the whole day reading blogs, writing reviews and reading ebooks without worrying that someone will catch me in flagrante delicto.

  6. eaeaea says:

    I call it the ‘daily wish’. One different wish for every day…

    Let all the crap build up, then do the ‘dirt removal’ wish one day.
    When you have a date and nothing to wear with bad hair, go for the ‘make me gorgeous’ wish.
    When you find a room full of hot men – ‘make their clothes invisible ‘wish.

    There are not enough days in the year for the rest of my fantasies, oops I mean, wishes. lol

  7. Alexandra says:

    I would love to have a spell that would boost self esteem. I can’t even begin to estimate how much time I waste every day just by worrying about not being sexy or successful or thin or XYZ enough – simply not goodenough. I bet some of you know what I’m talking about! Frankly, I’m sick of it, so I would love a spell to get rid of low self esteem, in me and in others as well. Because life’s just too darn short for that!

  8. CT says:

    I would like a spell that magically follows my husband throughout the day. For example, the spell would magically close every cabinet and drawer he leaves open. (Sometimes my kitchen looks just like the kitchen in The Sixth Sense, you know, after the ghosts got through with it?) And the spell would also magically put away his shoes when he leaves them under the coffee or kitchen table. And the spell would throw away all the snot-filled Kleenex he leaves on various tables throughout the house. Oh, and the spell would close all the doors he leaves open and the lights he leaves on.

    That would be one hefty spell, but it would definitely open up some free time for me.

  9. J.K. Coi says:

    Bullshit meter

  10. Kathy says:

    Holy crap!  I need the magic spell that can put some extra cash in the check book when I want to buy something way cool.  Is that selfish?  Not a butt load of cash, just a little here and there so my husband isn’t crying cause I spent money on a toy at Walmart for the kids.  Ya know? 

    And “CT”, I wouldn’t mind a husband follower either.  I can totally relate to open cabinets, cheese wrappers, and shoes in the middle of the floor.  I thought I was the only one misfortunate enough to be married to a first grader.  Heehehe.

  11. Mandy C says:

    I’d love to have a spell where I snap my fingers and I’m transported to where I want to go.  I have a hellish commute (a hour and half in the morning and 2 to 2 and half hours in the evening) from home to work and back and this spell would make my life much more easier.

  12. HeatherK says:

    A spell that with the snap of my fingers would take the pain away even if only for a few minutes. I’ve lived with it for so long now that I’m not sure I recall what being pain free feels like.

  13. Tibbles says:

    My wish would be that all the sick children in the world would get better and never be ill again.  And I don’t mean the sniffles or the flu; I mean the kids with things like cancer and aids and kidney failure.  I feel blessed every day that my kids are healthy and would love for every parent in the world to know that same peace of mind.

    I am also married to one of those men who leave everything where it’s convenient for him, so that would be wish #2.

  14. Leeann Burke says:

    I love the calorie free food and clean house.

    However I would also like to control time to stop it so I can get a breath and enjoy the moment. I don’t know about anyone else but I always want to enjoy the moment or I tell myself I should, but never have time or make the time to do just that. So if I could I would like to have tha ability to freeze time to catch my breath or enjoy the moment.

  15. Vicki says:

    The instant transport thing is very tempting and I have wished for that when I have been travelling. However, I think I would go with “health and happiness” that I could spell onto a person in need of it. In a sense, that is what I try to do every day as a pediatrician, but it would be nice to have it work quickly and reliably and not have to depend on tired moms remembering meds.

  16. Valerie says:

    A spell that would give me a

    do over!

      This would be enormously handy for all those little screwups, or poor choices…just go back 10-15 minutes with the knowledge of the earlier result intact and get a chance to make the other choice!

  17. With a blink of an eye I’d be perfectly well rested, alert and ready to go. No sleep necessary!

  18. joopiter says:

    I would love to wave my hand at my boss and instantly have his corporate-speak be distilled down to actual, meaningful English. Since what he says usually has no point or meaning, it would be oh-so-quiet in my office and I might get some actual work done.

  19. LenaB says:

    I agree with Valerie that a ControlZ spell would be fantastic, but! 

    I want a spell that *understands* electronics and mechanics and fixes them.  Figures out my cable/router/modem deal.  Restores my computer from the blue screen of death.  Deals with the chugga sound my car makes.  Redoes the wiring in my apartment so I can toast frozen waffles AND blow dry my hair without blowing a fuse.  You know.  Simple stuff that either costs a ton or just never gets fixed.

  20. Natasha says:

    Well, you stole it with the dishes.  I despise dishes…love cooking.  You see the problem?  But, if I could extend that to a general clean up of the entire house. Oh yes.
    Well, since that isn’t going to happen…I wonder what a maid would run me? 😀
    Natasha

  21. Kristin says:

    Insto-groceries. Snap my fingers and the groceries in my cart are magically whisked away to my house and put in their proper place in my kitchen.

    Worst thing ever is the fact I have to move all those bags…TWICE. Once into the back of my van, and twice from my van to the kitchen. Then, the inhumanity of unpacking all the food I bought and stowing it away. UGH.

    Not sure if I can compete with the person who wanted to cure sick children. I mean, how do you trump that?????

  22. Sara Neal says:

    Mine would be a spell to relieve worrying.  You can’t avoid stresses- they come with life.  But we all tell ourselves not to stress, and yet we do it anyway!  So I would love a spell to use to help you let it all go when it’s not in your control anyway.  Can you imagine not worrying all the time?  Live in the moment- what a great spell that would be!

  23. ev says:

    Waving my hands and having my daughter’s mess that insists on crawling out of her room, gone. And leaving her unable to leave or create another mess. Then the rest of the house would get taken care of without so much frustration on my part.

    Oh, a the litter box and puppy pads just cleaning themselves.

  24. CC says:

    Mine would be the ability to snap my fingers and time would rewind. So if I’ve put my foot in my mouth, I can step back and call a do-over.

  25. sara says:

    Oh If only I could wave my hands and cast a spell that would instantly have my kids ready for school.  They would be showered, dressed, fed, lunches made, papers signed and off to have a great day of school.  This would be even better if I could learn to this spell in my sleep.  lol

  26. Mellie says:

    Oh- a dinner’s on the table spell.

    I wave my hand over the table and it’s perfectly set with beautiful, yummy food (that my oh so picky children would eat too).  I’d even be willing to do the dishes if all I had to do was sit down to a good meal.

  27. KC says:

    I would love a ‘time stands still’ spell.

    I could sit down at the computer at 10 am and write until I meet my word count for the day. When I finish it would still be 10 am and I’ll have the whole day to do as I please.

    Still reading that awesome book at 10 pm? Stop time and read til the end, and then you will still get 8 hours sleep in afterwards.

    The things I could get done. Could even clean the house once in a while…

  28. Joanne says:

    I wouldn’t mind a common sense spell woven around the world… but I’m afraid it would make life a lot less interesting I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

    Sarah your wish (one of) is granted… buy a bunch of these and set up a camera to watch the cat trying to fly http://www.organize.com/petnet.html

  29. Renda says:

    Having a child with Crohn’s disease, I would like a bathroom where you want it spell.  As horrible as it sounds, having been diagnosed with Crohn’s since he was seven, the disease is part of his life and I think it has helped shape him to be the fine young man that he is today. I wouldn’t wish those empathetic, caring parts of his personality away for anything.
    BUT that being said, it would be great to make hunting for a potty
    obsolete.

  30. Jen says:

    I’d have a spell where I’d make a copy of whatever it was I was holding in my hands- so there would be two of them.  It’d only work once a day (so I wouldn’t get greedy), but that way when I find a sweater of my friend’s that I really want but she doesn’t want to part with, I could have it.  And perhaps if I was really powerful, it’d also allow me to “adjust” things, so if there was an umbrella I liked but it was black and I wanted it in bright pink, when I copied it the object would be bright pink.

  31. JC says:

    I would have the power to be able to enter any book in my hands, and live in the world of the book for a time.  The spell would make the experience more like a really vivid dream (or Narnia) in that time in this world would pass much slower than time in the book.

  32. SingingSky says:

    I just watched the weather, and living in FL, I want a spell that keeps the hurricanes safely out at sea where they belong. It seems like Gustav is going to miss us, only to have TS 8 bearing down on us in his wake. I suppose that at least we get days of notice is somewhat of a blessing, but I’d sure take that worry away if I could.

  33. StacieMc says:

    Perfect recall. I suck at remembering names, faces, conversations, etc. It’s so embarrassing sometimes. I’d love to just do a spell and be able to freakin’ remember stuff!

  34. Sandia says:

    my wish would be that i can wave my hands and my dogs would be fully potty trained to use the toilet.  it’s the worst in the winter time…. brrrrr….. go… go potty… goooooo…. go pottyyyyyy…. and all the dogs want to do is play in the snow…. grrr… winter.

  35. robinjn says:

    I’d like a spell where I instantly thoroughly understand things I need to learn (i.e., SQL, CSS, and how my cell phone can go from the top of my purse to the far bottom corner beneath the bills, lipstick, and pens in .002 seconds).

    hah. Submit word learned63. Yes, I’d like a spell where I could learn 63 things in a nanosecond.

  36. Rae says:

    instant drunk remover – complete with destruction of side effects. My husband & our group of friends often enjoy having a few drinks together or going out and seeing a band in a bar or night club. The downside is the sweat-alcohol smell, the bourbon breathe and that aching head in the morning. Not to mention the occasional sleepless night as he snores with abandon next to me. I’d love to wave my hand and have instant loss of alcohol side effects…just the remnants of a pleasant buzz afterwards

  37. Carol Powell says:

    I’m going to have to go with something completely cheesy… but fortunately, it’s very true.  I am currently loving and living with with a guy that is wonderfully perfect for me.  We’ve been dating for 2 1/2 years with 1 1/4 of that time living together… and still are gaggingly (to others point of view, that is) smitten with each other.  So, my spell would be a good health spell on both of us, that would keep both of us safe and healthy until we both died, at the same time, some point far out into the future.

  38. Randi says:

    while initially torn between the insta-house cleaning or insta-hairstyle, I gotta go with the Super Acne Disappearing mojo. As an adult acne sufferer, it totally blows to have acne. I wish to make it all go away!!!

    name67: I don’t think I’m the 67th person to post…am I?

  39. saltypepper says:

    The only spell I’d I want that someone hasn’t already said (clean my house! instant dinner!) is “a mute button.” 

    I am the mother of two not-yet-civilized young children (all the parents out there know it’s a long term project) and they can get pretty rowdy.  I live in “the city that never sleeps,” though I do, and though I am a native and therefore have a pretty high tolerance for ambient noise, they are doing demolition, which I can only assume will be followed by construction, in TWO locations near my house from 8-4:30 six days a week.  All this would be tolerable, more or less, without the advent of the cell phone, with all those ringtones at top volume and people yakkity yak yakking 24/7 regardless of others around them.  This is a crowded city, we cannot always tune out our neighbors as we’d like.  After I (and everyone else within 10 feet) overheard the woman sitting next to me on the jam packed crosstown bus weepily inform her BFF via of her cervical cancer diagnosis, I have been wishing fervently for a mute button.  Or a cure for cancer.  Or both.

  40. shaina says:

    i’m a college student. i want a spell that either a) does my homework for me while somehow instilling the knowledge of it in my brain or b) can influence professors to give only minimal amounts of it, no papers over 3 pages, no group projects, etc.

    that, or the ability to pop in a new, good book anytime i need one, free of charge and in a nice tasteful cover. sounds like the kindle, except for the free part…

    cleaning would work too. i love organization, just not organizING.

    sorry. that’s three. *shuts up now*

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