Cast a Spell, Win a Book

Book CoverCheyenne McCray has 13 ARCs of her new book Dark Magic and these ARCs are looking for homes. Why not with Bitchery members, right? The book comes out in November, so you can get a sneak peek at the story. All you have to do is come up with an answer to the following question: if you could create one fail-safe spell that would be yours to use forever, what would it be?

Me? The ability to wave my hands and have clutter, dirty dishes, and random crap strewn about my house instantly in its place. This particularly applies to the stuffed animals that one of my cats sees fit to “kill” and “present” to us while we’re not home, leaving us with about six or seven “dead” stuffed animals on the kitchen floor every single day.

Cheyenne’s is similar – a wave of one hand, and the house is clean. What about you? What powerful spell would you like to have in your arsenal? Never being late? Never sitting in traffic (oh, I might have to change my answer now….)? Name your spell in the next 24 hours, and Cheyenne will pick 13 winners. Bibbity, bobbity, boo!

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  1. 1
    isidri says:

    To make something I’m about to eat have no calories or artery-clogging properties.

  2. 2
    phinea says:

    I would be able to run my fingers through my hair and it would be perfectly styled.

  3. 3
    Rhian says:

    On waking up, I would wave my hands and I would be magically washed, dressed, with my hair styled and my face made up. Oh, and there would be a steaming mug of coffee and toast with marmalade sitting on my desk.

    (I am not a morning person.)

  4. 4
    EJ McKenna says:

    I’d love a paperwork spell!

    I’d wave my hand and the spell would accurately fill in any documents, paperwork, reports, taxes, accounts, contracts, etc. (This spell rocks!).

    Just the thought of never having to do taxes again…. what magic!

  5. 5
    Ana says:

    oh how exciting.

    I would like to have a spell that could cloak my desk and computer at work from everybody else’s eyes (but specially my manager’s) so that I can spend the whole day reading blogs, writing reviews and reading ebooks without worrying that someone will catch me in flagrante delicto.

  6. 6
    eaeaea says:

    I call it the ‘daily wish’. One different wish for every day…

    Let all the crap build up, then do the ‘dirt removal’ wish one day.
    When you have a date and nothing to wear with bad hair, go for the ‘make me gorgeous’ wish.
    When you find a room full of hot men – ‘make their clothes invisible ‘wish.

    There are not enough days in the year for the rest of my fantasies, oops I mean, wishes. lol

  7. 7
    Alexandra says:

    I would love to have a spell that would boost self esteem. I can’t even begin to estimate how much time I waste every day just by worrying about not being sexy or successful or thin or XYZ enough – simply not goodenough. I bet some of you know what I’m talking about! Frankly, I’m sick of it, so I would love a spell to get rid of low self esteem, in me and in others as well. Because life’s just too darn short for that!

  8. 8
    CT says:

    I would like a spell that magically follows my husband throughout the day. For example, the spell would magically close every cabinet and drawer he leaves open. (Sometimes my kitchen looks just like the kitchen in The Sixth Sense, you know, after the ghosts got through with it?) And the spell would also magically put away his shoes when he leaves them under the coffee or kitchen table. And the spell would throw away all the snot-filled Kleenex he leaves on various tables throughout the house. Oh, and the spell would close all the doors he leaves open and the lights he leaves on.

    That would be one hefty spell, but it would definitely open up some free time for me.

  9. 9
    J.K. Coi says:

    Bullshit meter

  10. 10
    Kathy says:

    Holy crap!  I need the magic spell that can put some extra cash in the check book when I want to buy something way cool.  Is that selfish?  Not a butt load of cash, just a little here and there so my husband isn’t crying cause I spent money on a toy at Walmart for the kids.  Ya know? 

    And “CT”, I wouldn’t mind a husband follower either.  I can totally relate to open cabinets, cheese wrappers, and shoes in the middle of the floor.  I thought I was the only one misfortunate enough to be married to a first grader.  Heehehe.

  11. 11
    Mandy C says:

    I’d love to have a spell where I snap my fingers and I’m transported to where I want to go.  I have a hellish commute (a hour and half in the morning and 2 to 2 and half hours in the evening) from home to work and back and this spell would make my life much more easier.

  12. 12
    HeatherK says:

    A spell that with the snap of my fingers would take the pain away even if only for a few minutes. I’ve lived with it for so long now that I’m not sure I recall what being pain free feels like.

  13. 13
    Tibbles says:

    My wish would be that all the sick children in the world would get better and never be ill again.  And I don’t mean the sniffles or the flu; I mean the kids with things like cancer and aids and kidney failure.  I feel blessed every day that my kids are healthy and would love for every parent in the world to know that same peace of mind.

    I am also married to one of those men who leave everything where it’s convenient for him, so that would be wish #2.

  14. 14
    Leeann Burke says:

    I love the calorie free food and clean house.

    However I would also like to control time to stop it so I can get a breath and enjoy the moment. I don’t know about anyone else but I always want to enjoy the moment or I tell myself I should, but never have time or make the time to do just that. So if I could I would like to have tha ability to freeze time to catch my breath or enjoy the moment.

  15. 15
    Vicki says:

    The instant transport thing is very tempting and I have wished for that when I have been travelling. However, I think I would go with “health and happiness” that I could spell onto a person in need of it. In a sense, that is what I try to do every day as a pediatrician, but it would be nice to have it work quickly and reliably and not have to depend on tired moms remembering meds.

  16. 16
    Valerie says:

    A spell that would give me a

    do over!

      This would be enormously handy for all those little screwups, or poor choices…just go back 10-15 minutes with the knowledge of the earlier result intact and get a chance to make the other choice!

  17. 17

    With a blink of an eye I’d be perfectly well rested, alert and ready to go. No sleep necessary!

  18. 18
    joopiter says:

    I would love to wave my hand at my boss and instantly have his corporate-speak be distilled down to actual, meaningful English. Since what he says usually has no point or meaning, it would be oh-so-quiet in my office and I might get some actual work done.

  19. 19
    LenaB says:

    I agree with Valerie that a ControlZ spell would be fantastic, but! 

    I want a spell that *understands* electronics and mechanics and fixes them.  Figures out my cable/router/modem deal.  Restores my computer from the blue screen of death.  Deals with the chugga sound my car makes.  Redoes the wiring in my apartment so I can toast frozen waffles AND blow dry my hair without blowing a fuse.  You know.  Simple stuff that either costs a ton or just never gets fixed.

  20. 20
    Natasha says:

    Well, you stole it with the dishes.  I despise dishes…love cooking.  You see the problem?  But, if I could extend that to a general clean up of the entire house. Oh yes.
    Well, since that isn’t going to happen…I wonder what a maid would run me? :D

  21. 21
    Kristin says:

    Insto-groceries. Snap my fingers and the groceries in my cart are magically whisked away to my house and put in their proper place in my kitchen.

    Worst thing ever is the fact I have to move all those bags…TWICE. Once into the back of my van, and twice from my van to the kitchen. Then, the inhumanity of unpacking all the food I bought and stowing it away. UGH.

    Not sure if I can compete with the person who wanted to cure sick children. I mean, how do you trump that?????

  22. 22
    Sara Neal says:

    Mine would be a spell to relieve worrying.  You can’t avoid stresses- they come with life.  But we all tell ourselves not to stress, and yet we do it anyway!  So I would love a spell to use to help you let it all go when it’s not in your control anyway.  Can you imagine not worrying all the time?  Live in the moment- what a great spell that would be!

  23. 23
    ev says:

    Waving my hands and having my daughter’s mess that insists on crawling out of her room, gone. And leaving her unable to leave or create another mess. Then the rest of the house would get taken care of without so much frustration on my part.

    Oh, a the litter box and puppy pads just cleaning themselves.

  24. 24
    CC says:

    Mine would be the ability to snap my fingers and time would rewind. So if I’ve put my foot in my mouth, I can step back and call a do-over.

  25. 25
    sara says:

    Oh If only I could wave my hands and cast a spell that would instantly have my kids ready for school.  They would be showered, dressed, fed, lunches made, papers signed and off to have a great day of school.  This would be even better if I could learn to this spell in my sleep.  lol

  26. 26
    Mellie says:

    Oh- a dinner’s on the table spell.

    I wave my hand over the table and it’s perfectly set with beautiful, yummy food (that my oh so picky children would eat too).  I’d even be willing to do the dishes if all I had to do was sit down to a good meal.

  27. 27
    KC says:

    I would love a ‘time stands still’ spell.

    I could sit down at the computer at 10 am and write until I meet my word count for the day. When I finish it would still be 10 am and I’ll have the whole day to do as I please.

    Still reading that awesome book at 10 pm? Stop time and read til the end, and then you will still get 8 hours sleep in afterwards.

    The things I could get done. Could even clean the house once in a while…

  28. 28
    Joanne says:

    I wouldn’t mind a common sense spell woven around the world… but I’m afraid it would make life a lot less interesting I don’t know if that’s a good thing.

    Sarah your wish (one of) is granted… buy a bunch of these and set up a camera to watch the cat trying to fly

  29. 29
    Renda says:

    Having a child with Crohn’s disease, I would like a bathroom where you want it spell.  As horrible as it sounds, having been diagnosed with Crohn’s since he was seven, the disease is part of his life and I think it has helped shape him to be the fine young man that he is today. I wouldn’t wish those empathetic, caring parts of his personality away for anything.
    BUT that being said, it would be great to make hunting for a potty

  30. 30
    Jen says:

    I’d have a spell where I’d make a copy of whatever it was I was holding in my hands- so there would be two of them.  It’d only work once a day (so I wouldn’t get greedy), but that way when I find a sweater of my friend’s that I really want but she doesn’t want to part with, I could have it.  And perhaps if I was really powerful, it’d also allow me to “adjust” things, so if there was an umbrella I liked but it was black and I wanted it in bright pink, when I copied it the object would be bright pink.

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